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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 730047 times)

omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6810 on: February 01, 2018, 12:12:27 pm »

C
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

fireground42

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6811 on: February 01, 2018, 12:24:01 pm »

C
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6812 on: February 01, 2018, 12:31:08 pm »

Grr. We know our army is not at its straight-up strongest, why didn't Houlandin or Iwald go to spot all the terrain and tactics advantages?

C

If I didn't think we had a martial bonus in our pocket I would have voted this in the first place.
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crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6813 on: February 01, 2018, 01:16:33 pm »

D. Go deal with her ourselves.
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
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nothing here.

Lord_lemonpie

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6814 on: February 01, 2018, 03:29:45 pm »

C
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6815 on: February 01, 2018, 03:38:05 pm »

You hire some adventurers to go and slay Queen Roca.

Quote
5

They do so. Her lieutenants fall to in-fighting, and the local militias have no problem hunting down bandits afterwards.

1139 AD, Winter

Gold, silver and gemstones fill the treasury, and money is sent to Ankurvat.

Quote
1, 4

While metals yield little profits, glassware does well for some money. Most importantly, it seems to help people's forget the terribleness of the last year, soothing their souls.

Quote
5*

Apparently, two of Cidric's uncles went to blows after some scandalous documents about one of them ended in the desk of the other. If those mishaps continue, Cidric - who's currently besieging the capital - will soon have a clear path to victory.

1139 AD, End of the Year

You silently brood in your chamber, staring at the snowfall outside; the small, delicate snowflakes are gently falling to the ground, the stillness and quiet of the outside world being rather lovely.

You hear the door creak, and you turn your head; the Advisor bows respectfully and brings you the Scrolls of Kingdom Status.

Happiness: 4
Population: 7
Economy: 5
Army: 1
Imp.Authority: -1

"Sire, the recent war had unfortunate distinction of causing many casualties, be it the lost youths or enslaved or slaughtered peoples, especially in the northwest of the Empire. The people's mood dropped considerably, and the lost war shook their faith in the Emperor's abilities and legitimacy. Further, our Army is in shambles."

"Although it might be unwise to force people to accept new laws, the Army officers, with help of Houlandin, have a military Edict proposal that might be worth consideration." The Advisor pulls out fresh parchment for you.

"Do you wish to issue an Edict this year?"

A) "Absolutely not, the people will turn against me!"
B) "Sure! It's time I got back to my administrative duties!"
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6816 on: February 01, 2018, 03:41:08 pm »

B, we can always change our minds after seeing the options.
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6817 on: February 01, 2018, 03:49:02 pm »

We really have no choice; not reminding people there's an emperor at the helm will probably just make them more upset.
B
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6818 on: February 01, 2018, 03:49:47 pm »

B

Also last year we increased our army funding, I think it stands at -3/year?
With our forces so small, can we just cut that back down to two before we go bankrupt? (or even one for a while?)
Extra money never seems to increase recruiting, which is what we need most at the moment.

Hey, maybe that's the proposed edict? Army reorganization and bloat reduction?
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Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6819 on: February 01, 2018, 03:53:43 pm »

A

But man, the spymaster is actually doing good things. First time in like three spamkingdoms. I'm so proud of him.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6820 on: February 01, 2018, 03:55:17 pm »

Increasing Army budget increases the maximum the Army can support at once and in good shape ;v



MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

Issue the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

Establish the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

Establish Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Establish The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.

Expand Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.

Establish Passage Tax:
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1135 AD: Proclaimed Religious Equality:
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6821 on: February 01, 2018, 04:02:32 pm »

We need the Recruitment Offices
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6822 on: February 01, 2018, 04:03:21 pm »

I really see only two currently justifiable options - the recruitment offices and the council of statesmen. Anything else would be counterproductive right now. Given the army problem, and the fact that I don't actually like the idea of giving imperial power away even if it would fix our authority problem, my vote is weakly for Establish Recruitment Offices.

Although I do wonder if establishing the shadowranks would help improve authority - it seems like people are always impressed by bodyguards, it would make the emperor look that much more Imperial. We should wait until we actually have soldiers to select the most loyal from, though.
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crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6823 on: February 01, 2018, 04:08:20 pm »

+Establish Recruitment Offices
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Lord_lemonpie

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #6824 on: February 01, 2018, 04:10:01 pm »

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