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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 719148 times)

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8850 on: March 24, 2018, 04:05:31 pm »

A
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crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8851 on: March 24, 2018, 04:06:58 pm »

A.
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birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8852 on: March 24, 2018, 04:07:20 pm »

A

If he had chosen a better way to go about this, he might have been at least considered for the line of succession, but the whole jumping through the window shtick is so last century!
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BIRDS.

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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8853 on: March 24, 2018, 04:10:22 pm »

A Sorry Cousin but you were disinherited. You don't have a right to challenge us with in the first place. I'm glad that we at least removed Leath's kids from the line of succession before we let them leave for Parsia so the nobles shouldn't have anything to complain about now. Also yay for Shadowranks! I knew they'd be a good idea!

There is also the fact that he doesn't have anything to prove he's our cousin. For all we know he's just a random insane peasant.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2018, 04:13:07 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8854 on: March 24, 2018, 04:13:07 pm »

I would rather prefer a C: haha, this is adorable, obviously I'm not letting you be Emperor but you can be a general and maybe get yourself some territory to govern as a vassal, sure option.
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8855 on: March 24, 2018, 04:14:22 pm »

B
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VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8856 on: March 24, 2018, 04:17:07 pm »

B Winning a nice duel should improve our standing.

milo christiansen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8857 on: March 24, 2018, 04:18:26 pm »

I kinda like the proposed C option, but it is a bad idea really. (we don't need to enable possible enemies)

Anyway, A
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8858 on: March 24, 2018, 04:20:25 pm »

Winning a nice duel should improve our standing.

I don't think this is a nice duel, at best we're executing a dude that we had our lackeys beat up first, at worst we die looking like a twit.

A, clearly he's a mad bastard and should be locked up for his own safety.
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Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin II of Methiant!
« Reply #8859 on: March 24, 2018, 04:24:55 pm »

A
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Succession Council of Midwinter 1155 AD
« Reply #8860 on: March 24, 2018, 04:27:16 pm »

You order him thrown into the dungeon. The guards drag him away as he shouts about dishonor, your questionable parentage, and so on.

1155 AD, Midwinter

Another day of working out minor domestic things with your noblemen. With Coronation Staff in your hand and the leaf-necklace on your torso, you're ready to help guide the Empire into bright future.

Suddenly, you feel terrible pain in your chest. You clutch the spot, feeling the absolutely alien warmth coming from the necklace. You scream in pain and fall to the ground, as few noblemen and guards rush to your side.

A wave of pain worse than moments before washes over your body and then your chest explodes in puff of crimson mist. The nobles scream in terror as a tree root has just brust from your innards! You scream for sweet release of death, but nothing comes of it. The root grows and you writhe in pain. Then the pain multiplies by thousands and you live through every second as second, third and further roots burst through orifices of your body; from your ear, from your penis and your anus. Blood pools undernearth your still alive body and bits of flesh hang from the bursted wounds like scraps from butcher's table.

The excruciating, absolutely gruesome spectacle continues for several minutes, and every tissue of your self experiences the pain as you writhe on the floor, the onlookers having no idea how to help you in any way.

Finally mercy arrives in most twisted of ways; a root bursts from your throat through your mouth, taking all the space, and letting you choke to death from lack of oxygen.

1155 AD. Few days later

Entirety of the court is in shambles. Thoroughly shaken, especially those nobles who witnessed Houlandin II's gruesome demise. It hasn't escaped some that the violent, root-related death of the Emperor came exactly at the time, to the very day and hour, of the opening of the strange honeycomb tomb. The corpse is entagled in numerous roots, of which one possesses a strange matrix of silvery veins around it tip, the tip adorned with only three small green leaves.

The Advisor strikes the table with the iron ball of authority.

"Noblemen of Methiant! Please calm yourselves down. As terrible and gruesome was the death of our short-lived Emperor, Houlandin II, we must concentrate and solve several issues, especially the matter of succession. His wife, Empress Herta, is pregnant with a child, of unknown gender. But there are two sons of Cyl, and the retired Emperor himself."

"Long live the long lived Emperor! He should take over the Empire!"

"No! We must wait till the child of the Empress leaves her womb first!"

"Fools! Just pass the Staff and Crown to Eivan, he will make a wise and just Emperor!"

"Take Saenn to the throne instead!"

CLANG CLANG CLANG! The Advisor speaks again:

"And what shall we do with the corpse of the Emperor? Ought we burn it to cinders and seal the ashes away?" The court murmurs, shouts and bemoans the fate of the Empire...

What will become of Yoean Dynasty now?

As for succession to the throne of Methiant...

A) We wait till Empress Herta gives birth, then we can consider a solution.
B) Return the throne to Emperor Cyl, for who knows how long. Hopefully only a short while.
C) Install Eivan as the next Emperor of Methiant.
D) Install Saenn as the next Emperor of Methiant.

As for the burial of Houlandin II...

A) Burn the root-infested corpse and seal the ashes far from the palace, just to be sure.
B) Even in this nightmarish state, the Emperor deserves proper burial in family tombs of Yoean dynasty.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Succession Council of Midwinter 1155 AD
« Reply #8861 on: March 24, 2018, 04:30:43 pm »

WHAT DID I TELL YOU

AA CA, actually. Let's let the old man retire in peace.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2018, 05:18:27 pm by Harry Baldman »
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Lucus Casius

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Succession Council of Midwinter 1155 AD
« Reply #8862 on: March 24, 2018, 04:31:04 pm »

BA

I'm not even slightly surprised.

Edit:  By this event, I mean.  Only that it took this long.
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Succession Council of Midwinter 1155 AD
« Reply #8863 on: March 24, 2018, 04:32:43 pm »

B, A
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Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Succession Council of Midwinter 1155 AD
« Reply #8864 on: March 24, 2018, 04:34:48 pm »

BA
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.
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