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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 332825 times)

omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13515 on: August 03, 2018, 04:44:30 pm »

Or go through eval
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13516 on: August 03, 2018, 05:15:57 pm »

You'd think so, but a bunch of primitive savages were able to take the fortress and hold it against us and force an extended siege. It doesn't really make sense that we'd make the fortress able to defend against anything in our world usefully, but it appears that that is exactly the case.

That was them using the Magic Doom Weather on the Orcworld end of the tunnel, not us sieging our own fortress as a military operation. There's no sign they ever attempted to traverse the passage into our world.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2018, 05:20:59 pm by mightymushroom »
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Imic

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13517 on: August 03, 2018, 05:25:42 pm »

OH MY GOD DWARVES WHY!!!

D

Looking on all that has happened...
Well, that was an unexpected death. Fuck cancer.
...
Hold on. They are asking us for full compensation... For a crime commited by a relatice THAT WE DISOWNED! Why weren't we given the option of telling them that!?

Also, a bisexual Emperor. Huh. I wonder which side of the family he got it from...
« Last Edit: August 05, 2018, 09:43:24 am by Imic »
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Faith in yourself is essential. Faith in Humanity isnít.

Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13518 on: August 03, 2018, 05:29:04 pm »

You'd think so, but a bunch of primitive savages were able to take the fortress and hold it against us and force an extended siege. It doesn't really make sense that we'd make the fortress able to defend against anything in our world usefully, but it appears that that is exactly the case.

That was them using the Magic Doom Weather on the Orcworld end of the tunnel, not us sieging our own fortress as a military operation. There's no sign they ever attempted to traverse the passage into our world.

After the magic doom weather was bypassed we still had to siege the fortress to get it back from them. It seems like they had no effective technology to defend it, so it wasn't a particularly hard siege, but it still took a few weeks and we had to break down some walls with fireblood.

Hold on. They are asking us for full compensation... For a crime commited by a relatice THAT WE DISOWNED! Why weren't we given the option of telling them that!?

I mean, we were given the option to tell them to fuck off with their ridiculous claims. Everyone seemed to think they were legitimate enough that we should negotiate for some reason though.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13519 on: August 03, 2018, 09:57:36 pm »

Okay, I reread those parts and I guess I missed absorbing some details. (Although I'm not sure I'd call it an "extended siege" -- almost all the time lapse in our reports is probably accounted for by messenger transits.) Well, if the passage is not internal to the Fortress then the Republicans could close our heavy doors or even collapse the tunnel to take that garrison out of play. Even if they don't or can't go to those lengths (I'm sure we have some positions at our end) it sounds like it could be a difficult choke point for our major garrison there to attack their rear lines in our world.

(On the other hand, we did adopt generic tactics suited to hill/mountain fighting, so there's that in our favor.)

(P.S. What ever happened to the effort to crack the Ur-Uk language? I don't remember a follow up.)


Hold on. They are asking us for full compensation... For a crime commited by a relatice THAT WE DISOWNED! Why weren't we given the option of telling them that!?

I mean, we were given the option to tell them to fuck off with their ridiculous claims. Everyone seemed to think they were legitimate enough that we should negotiate for some reason though.

The message stated obviously that straight dismissal would mean war with a formidable opponent. It also hints that they are aware of Saenn's disinheritance under Methiant law but choosing to ignore it. I figured the negotiation option was indeed trying to get our position upheld via diplomacy. Alas, that doesn't seem to have been quite Haspen's interpretation. I, for one, never intended to pay a single coin. (If I wasn't scared of dwarves when they were in the wrong, what shall I fear from senators?)
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13520 on: August 04, 2018, 01:29:57 am »

Honestly I want to go to war merely because I want to humiliate them and I want to prove to the world that Meathiant is not to be messed with is my plan stupid yes but I am sick of their arrogance.
« Last Edit: August 04, 2018, 02:29:40 am by Basil ii »
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auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13521 on: August 04, 2018, 07:27:07 am »

D
Seems like it's a job for the magic candle.
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating

Imic

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13522 on: August 04, 2018, 07:46:03 am »

If I wasn't scared of dwarves when they were in the wrong, what shall I fear from senators?
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Basil ii

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13523 on: August 04, 2018, 08:05:02 am »

You know what I have decided next time the damedians come to extort us I am going to be voting for the option to go to war. Let’s look at our resources cydwyl and hellsite as allies and as for combat artifacts the moral banner and that that rune sword now for the military very trained soldiers fire blood weapons and our grief stricken lazor horse and that’s all that I have in mind right now. Anyway that was my useless analysis thank you all for reading have a nice day.
« Last Edit: August 04, 2018, 08:22:30 am by Basil ii »
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Imic

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13524 on: August 05, 2018, 09:43:08 am »

Upon second thought, C. Send in some meatshield scouts to find out what's going on.
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Faith in yourself is essential. Faith in Humanity isnít.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13525 on: August 05, 2018, 10:01:49 am »

cccc
ddddddddd



You order all people living near Ankurvat to evacuate somewhere safer.

Few days later, you receive reports on trade.

Quote
5to6, 1, 2to5, 3to4

Glasswork sold in Ysirene very well, although the Treasury got only minor profits from proxy selling of Simian spices to your noblemen. Springwine did good.

Meanwhile, the first of aromatic tchai leaves that arrived in Methiant have sold exceptionally well. What's best is that compared to spices, the dried leaves are sold in compact form, tied and bagged. This allows them to be exported in large quantities, and all but peasants can enjoy the invigorating drink.

1193 AD, Mid-Autumn

It is time for marriage between you and the young Ceorina isn't overtly pompous affair. Most of the courtiers wish you well, and the bride's father hopes that she will bring you many children.

The next morning, the Spymaster arrives to bring you a report on Ankurvat; the walled city continues to emit poisonous smoke, and some survivors were found; apparently, one night, a terrible explosion occured somewhere in dwarven halls under the city, and that's when the smoke began to appear. Dwarves dissappeared from the aboveground just as people began to flee.

Meanwhile, few of Spymaster's agents have begun tracking parties of dwarves sneaking through Methiantese countryside, both from and in the direction of Ankurvat. They're avoiding roads and settlements; instead they travel by countryside, forests and hills.

A) Let's track them all for now.
B) I'm sure they're not doing anything suspicious.
C) Stop, capture, and interrogate them at once!
« Last Edit: August 05, 2018, 10:06:12 am by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
SPAMhub!&Fire Emblem on Forums: 8! and 6re!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13526 on: August 05, 2018, 10:05:51 am »

A

As much as I want to say C, we cannot afford to anger the fickle midgets. We should get a +1 from our elf cloaks this way too.
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13527 on: August 05, 2018, 10:08:33 am »

A
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Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13528 on: August 05, 2018, 10:12:10 am »

A
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant!
« Reply #13529 on: August 05, 2018, 10:26:31 am »

You tell the Spymaster to observe and track the dwarves, but do not interfere with whatever they are doing.

1193 AD, Five days later

Quote
Tails

When with another screech of your dearest wife a large jewelry box flies in your direction, you decide to just duck away from its trajectory. The poor, decorative box smashes into two against the wall behind you.

You glance at Aethlan, who managed to put on his pants already (that ass, mmf!) and jolt toward the door. But Ceorina doesn't concentrate on your lover, but on you, her unfaithful, horny, teenage husband. You've hoped that you would get some free time with Aethlan and that Ceorina would find herself something to do this morning. Unfortunately, she wanted to visit her husband and, well...

"FIVE DAYS, YOE!" She shrieks, clutching at her hair. "It's been five days since we became husband and wife, and you already sleep with another person!? I should've told my father to listen to reason, but no! And what marriage I've gotten myself into! You will be faithful to me, or I will claim divorce on reasoning of oathbreaking!"

"My dearest..."

"There are names for women who do this!! What name should I call you with then, Emperor!?"

You decide to...

A) Help her out and divorce her first. A wife that raises her voice against Emperor of Methiant is not worth keeping!
B) Apologize with words and trinkets and promises of not sleeping around.
C) Try to reason with her and ask if she can't just accept Aethlan (okay, and maybe few others...) as your 'companions'.
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SigFlags!
SPAMhub!&Fire Emblem on Forums: 8! and 6re!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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