"There are many reasons why a man becomes a Shadowrunner in Grimdark Neo Seattle, but who gives a flying fuck anyway? I am paying you to kill someone, not drone on and on about your life story, so sit down, shut up, and let me tell you about your next target"
"Your real names are not important to me, and anyone blabbing about their real names on the job will be forcibly retired. So pick a code name, it can be any damn thing you want, and I don't particularly care if you got it off of an old cereal box or a secret language that you made up as a child and shared to no one else. Just don't expect me to not laugh when I find out that you named yourself "Freety Halfwinks" or some other weird ass name.
To put it simply you are my expendable agents, the glamorous looking foot soldiers in the many secret wars going on literally everywhere in the world. Your missions will be weird, varied, and often dangerous, One week you are facing off against Jungle commandos to get some stock footage for a weird ripoff of most Vietnamese war trids in existence, and maybe the next month we'll ship you off to good old Tokyo to retrieve a prototype di- You know what, I don't think you're ready for that one.
But look on the bright side, If you survive long enough to line your virtual pockets with yellow and spend it wisely , you may survive long enough for retirement! And probably live long enough to enjoy it for all of five weeks before some script kiddie steals your hard earned millions and spread it around to a bunch of poor people, most of whom will mysteriously be found dead next to a pile of syringes with various colorful names like "Cram" written on it."
If you know what the word Cyberpunk means, then you probably know what Shadowrun is, and like it as much as Gibson does for combining Cyberpunk with Tolkien, but before you leave....are you at all interested in a silly little RTD where the entire goal is to strive for ever greater heights with your constantly changing array of characters and watching most if not all of them die horribly before getting anywhere near the goal? Then this is the game for you.
A shorter plot hook would be that in a profession where a bunch of people do skeezy shit for untrustworthy bastards, you are the guys that do the jobs that most of them wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole even if the reward for said job was a diamond encrusted in an odd mixture of gold and platinum that is being fanned and lovingly buffed by an array of nubile shapes, the diamond can also be used as a seat.
The System: Because apparently I needed one
An RTD with a 1d12, I know, how original.
1-2 YOU FUCKING FAIL! “LUDICROUS GIBS! LUDICROUS GIBS!”
3-4 Fail, nothing happened “So as you tried to quietly sneak past the guard you slipped and fell on several mouse traps that snap painfully on your everything.”
5-6 Partial Success/Average Oh hey you almost got what you wanted this time.
7-8 Success “The thing you wanted to happen happened”
9-10 Epic Success “You chopped the guy’s head off, and also the heads of the five people standing next to him, you think none of them was a teammate”
11-12 Overshot “LUDICROUS GIBS! LUDICROUS GIBS! But not applied to you for once”
13+ SUPER OVERSHOT “THE GIBS HAVE GONE INTO PLAID, SIR.” Roll again you poor dumb bastard….
Combat is you rolling against what the other guy is doing, the one with the highest roll wins unless the both of you somehow roll an Epic Fail or just a Fail in which case you manage to hit yourselves with your own weapons.
You always start out with three wounds, a Success deals 1 wound, and Epic Success deals 2 wounds, an Overshot deals 2 wounds to the target and one wound to a random target that just might be you.
An Epic fail means making a separate roll for damaging yourself, much laughter might be had the moment someone Epically fails to Epically fail.
Every wound you have lost is a -1 to all rolls, so a person with 2 wounds left has a -1, 1 wounds left is -2, and so on and so forth until you have -3 wounds left and just die.
Equipment can and will provide bonuses to your rolls that are called Ratings, everyone starts with two +1 Piece of equipment and three more +0 Equipment that does nothing but allow you to do an action related to that piece of equipment.
The best equipment provides a +3 to a roll. No matter how many bonuses you have a roll of 1 is always a fail and a roll of 12 is always an overshot.
The equipment can be literally anything you think of, just don’t complain about being shot to death when you waltz into combat armed with nothing but YOUR SENSE OF FASHION!.
Racial Options: Because I like writing fluff that won’t get read because you chose Dwarf
Humanity: Look in a mirror for christ’s sake, do I really need to explain what a Human is to you? Well we’re dicks, just like everyone else….and there is more of us present in the world than any other race. Because we were the first race in the sixth world, and the only race in the fifth.
(Likeliness to get into Dante’s score) L.T.G.I.D.S..: For lack of a better word…..boring, there’s like a million of you in Seattle or something. What do you have to offer anyway? Oh right money sorry Sir. 7/10 with Money, -Pi/10 without money
Dwarves: ((OOC: They make the best alcoholic drinks, do you really need a more detailed explanation?))
Oh hey! I almost didn’t see you there...sorry. It’s just that you guys are everywhere you know? Not as plentiful as Orcs or Humans, but there is literally nothing differentiating you guys from us other than your broad shoulders, pointy ears, and hardiness. What do you mean by “You’re trying to not talk about our short height”?. What do you mean by “You should go fuck yourself with a rake”?....SECURITY!
Don’t comment about their lack of height, praise their beards if male and they like to follow stereotypes whenever you get the chance, and don’t find it weird when they get all of the higher end maintenance jobs.
L.T.G.I.D.S.: You are probably going to get kicked out of most high end establishments the moment you get drunk, but Dante’s is the sort of place to find your drunken shouting and axing of things to be entertaining, so it all balances out in the end. When Drunk 10/10, Sober 4/10.
Elves: ((OOC: The following short description is completely and utterly true))
A wise man once said something about Elves “They’re the yuppies and vegans of the past, except with magic and somehow snobbier….may God save us all…”.
They look like regular human beings but slenderer, their hair is naturally better than most….just please make your Elf a Macho Sideburned one if you somehow decide to pick this race.
An unsurprising amount of them are Native American or From the formerly Irish land of Tír na nÓg, but they can be of any race or nationality to be honest.
L.T.G.I.D.S. Let’s face it, you’re the kind of snob that would belong there if you had any form of money, which you don’t. 5/10 With Money, 7/10 With money and attractive clothing, 1/10 Without Money.
Orcs: ((OOC: There is nothing stopping you from making an intelligent Orken mechanic))
“I find it weird that every metahuman race that isn’t humanity has pointy ears….An Ork is just a Human with tusks and a broader frame. Everyone thinks they are quite dumb, and that is true because everyone thinks that they are dumb.”
Orcs are the second most common race, they are just that good at procreating! They also look like regular human beings until puberty when their dermal deposits of keratin grow and their bone structure changes. Just like the Trolls. This is unsurprisingly painful, but oddly enough not very deadly….everyone calls the process “Goblinization”, but nobody calls Orcs or Trolls “Goblins”, mostly because they don’t want to associate you with those ape like disease carriers in front of you.
L.T.G.I.D.S.: You uh, have a very big…. 7/10 in Shorts, 5/10 in anything else.
Troll: ((OOC: No, not the internet kind)) “Well look on the bright side….you probably shrug off shotgun wounds anyway right? And she didn’t look that hot either man….I know you went to a nightclub to pick a girl up man, but I think we should just go home.”.
Trolls have an average height of 9.2”, they also have cutaneous horns on their head than can appear in a lot of different and uncomfortable looking forms. You also have tusks.
Trolls have the highest mortality rate and the lowest life expectancy, they are just that hated. They also look like regular human beings until puberty when their dermal deposits of keratin grow and their bone structure changes. Just like the Orcs. This is unsurprisingly painful, but oddly enough not very deadly….everyone calls the process “Goblinization”, but nobody calls Orcs or Trolls “Goblins”, mostly because they don’t want any of their bones broken..
L.T.G.I.D.S.: You can come in through the backdoor, make sure to grab that bottle on the table and apply vigorous amounts of it. 7/10.
Although to be brutally honest you can probably skip most of that not very long section, because let’s face it you’re playing a dwarf.
Character Sheet: Because this wouldn’t work without one
Real Name:
Shadowrunner Handle:
Description:
Race:
Why:
Equipment:
[Formats are: Name of Equipment: Purpose|Rating|Ammo If Applicable|Firing Mode/Modes if Applicable]
Example Character Sheet: Because they’re quick and easy to make
Real Name: /droptableheads
Shadowrunner Handle: Picture Not Found
Description:
Race: Human
Why: Wrecking shit is fun
Equipment:
Cyberdeck: To hack into systems with|+1|It doesn’t have ammo it is a glorified keyboard|It doesn’t fire anything it is a glorified keyboard
Sub machine gun: To make Swiss Cheese out of people who aren’t dressing up warmly|+1|30/30|FULL AUTO MISS
Black Long Coat: To hide my naked body/my illegal shit while dressing up warmly|+0|It’s a coat|Why are you asking this.
Datajack: Because I wanted a hole on the side of my head to shove dull things into okay? Also allows me to use Cyberdecks and Drones|+0|I wish I had mind bullets|Sighs
FAKE POLICE BADGE: It looks cool and also scares drekheads...shitless|+0|I wish this was also a gun now|Sighs
First mission will be out the day after enough warm bodies arrive to get bullets put into them or in other words Thursday because I am free on Thursday again for some odd reason.
Also when the time comes make sure to post your sheet with your action, I do not want to shift through the thread for your shi-I mean sheet.
Author
Topic: Lowlife, a Shadowrun RTD Mission 0: The Park Job (Sign ups still open) (Read 10285 times)