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Should we leave planet Earth

No it is really <comfy> here :^)
Sorry what was the question?
The galaxy is a hoax, nothing exists outside of planet earth.
Why don't scientists do something useful like fix the economy instead?
We don't need to go to vacuum in space, we have vacuums here.

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Author Topic: Stellaris: Never leave Earth  (Read 80006 times)

Loud Whispers

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Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« on: August 07, 2017, 05:36:22 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The year is 2200. Mankind has canceled all funding for space exploration, its spaceport project discontinued as all of Earth under the aegis of the United Nations decides that fixing our problems on Earth is a better idea than fleeing into the stars.

This is Stellaris: Never leave Earth.
My end goal is to make living conditions on Earth as utopian as possible whilst ignoring the entire galaxy at large. I've set the galaxy to be massive, eliptical and with a great deal many habitable worlds, moreover civilizations should be few. In theory, this means the United Nations should have plenty of time to perfect planet Earth society before any contact with aliens.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We are here
« Last Edit: March 01, 2018, 01:03:08 pm by Loud Whispers »
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Draignean

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2017, 05:55:43 pm »

PTW
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Ultimuh

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2017, 06:30:35 pm »

So.. What are your Ethos and traits?
Are you the standard premade Earth species?
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2017, 06:45:28 pm »

Spoiler: 2200:01:01: (click to show/hide)
The United Nations convenes under President Dolores Muwanga, charismatic warlord of the former Nyanza Union, formally centralizing all the governments of Earth under one state. President Muwanga offers in equal measure popular incentives and fearsome punishment for the last few remaining secessionist movements. Vast infrastructure projects are undertaken to sanitize Earth's slums and industrial wastelands, rejuvenating the planet for human use, with the goal of ridding mankind of poverty by 2220. To aid in that endeavour new research is made into administrative artificial intelligence by New Google, rivaled only by research into the next vanguard of Polytechnic Engineering facilities pioneered by Choadbook Technologies. For the first time ever, the majority of mankind looks forward to one world nation.

Spoiler: 2201:04:15: (click to show/hide)
Spacefaring life is discovered for the first time, picked up by three scientists running an observatory in what remains of the Himalayan Urbanized Relaxation Zone (HURZ). It flagellates into Alpha Centauri and then flagellates away. This news ranks higher on mirrorme.holovid than 'what fuck is this im dyin lmao fukin charly,' 'new home spiders give cancer to unborn baby mandem who was javorian pirate,' and 'something insane happened on "Vines and Stabbing" last night and YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT (spoilers)' for 3 whole days. Proposed funding for a xenobiology unit to try and track down and communicate or study these space organisms is not released, the United Nations commission reasoning that it was entirely outrageous to suggest deferring planetary unification projects in favour of chasing space cows. Besides a holovid remix of "Chasing Space Cows ft. Governor Ferrari" and copious sums of xeno hentai, mankind's first contact with aliens fades remarkably well into the background noise of 3AM primetime family rave.

2201:04:28: Earth Governor Margherita Ferrari denies granting favourable contracts to Ferrari Novo, stating that affordable motorized habitats were offered to the bidder who could build the cheapest habitat that was feasibly capable of outrunning the spring waspsquito swarms.
2201:04:29: Environmental Engineer Dr. Pavel Antonov is appointed as Governor Ferrari's replacement after Governor Ferrari's resignation. Dr. Pavel promises to eradicate the spawning pools of the waspsquito within Earth's industrial wastelands with a regreenification and relandification project. His plan involves reintroducing the bumbletoad to its native environment and incinerating what remains of Lower Florida, Greater Florida, West Florida and Smaller Florida. Heartcredits in Ferrari Novo fall in desire after Dr. Pavel's declaration that children should not need to sleep in motorized habitats to migrate away from waspquitos by 2206, BigBlattNews recommends all portfolio browsers to switch to investing in Toastnotes or dead memes.
Spoiler: 2201:06:05: (click to show/hide)
The Progressive Party frontrunner Margherita Ferrari and the Centrist Party challenger Dr. Florencia Ortega begin fundraising and using their political influence to start their campaign for the 2210 election, and the 2220 election, and the 2230 election, and the 2240 election. Attitude adjustment polls indicate an equal aversion to all candidates equally, but an aversion to both probable victors equally the most.

So.. What are your Ethos and traits?
Are you the standard premade Earth species?
Yep, standard premade Earth. That means our ethos are fanatic egalitarian and xenophile. The xenopihle bit is a bit redundant, but fanatic egalitarian will allow us to pursue the road to utopia

Loud Whispers

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2017, 09:42:49 am »

2204:02:20:
All industrial wastelands and slums have been cleared or relandified, the waspquito population running into natural equilibrium with local asbestos and bumbletoad populations. Human satisfaction at being alive rises drastically, the United Nations produces more farming nations out of the previous slumnations to increase the population of mankind at a controlled rate in anticipation of the coming economic reforms.

2204:04:07: Choadbook Technologies develops the engineering lab for quantum technical analysis way ahead of New Google. Their rebranding campaign into Chadbook Technologies is a wide public relations success and so commence research into Geothermal Fracking after convincing the public that regular fracking isn't cool enough. First engineering lab opens in North North America.

2204:06:05:
Planetary Unification completed on all governmental levels. The United Nation of Man resumes controversial gene resequencing therapies, previously banned since the DJ Genemixer wars of 2051.

Spoiler: 2204:06:26: (click to show/hide)
Emboldened by the successful political campaign of the new world government, the world's liberal-minded political parties, financiers and CEOs unite under the technocratic liberal Citizen Self-Determinism Alliance, determined to support the United Nations' efforts towards bringing equality and justice to every citizen of the Empire planet.

Spoiler: 2204:08:12: (click to show/hide)
Misguided scientists suggest we begin surveys of habitable biospheres in order to colonize them later, they are rebuked stating that the United Nations does not possess the resources needed to fund an imperialistic pipe dream in the stars when inequality was still reality on Earth.

2204:11:11: New Google completes its first functional planetary Administrative Artificial Intelligence, giving it a trendy ad-friendly holo-girl mascot, with additional research into Databank Uplinks synchronous research operations across all corners of planet earth become increasingly common.

2208:03:01: Chadbook Technologies implement the first ever instance of Geothermal Fracking, blasting the rich mineral resources from the Earth's core to deliver hitherto unseen levels of productivity and wealth production. All of Earth's mineral processing plants and pressure boreholes adopt this technology in a new industrial revolution. The great success of geothermal fracking on the market increases Chadbook Technologies' value by ^5gigatrillion Toastnotes.

Spoiler: 22210:04:01: (click to show/hide)
Margherita Ferrari finally succeeds in her campaign from exiled governor, to President of the United Nation of Earth. Her ban on contraceptives allows a considerable increase in the growth of mankind in order to feed the new industrial revolution's demand for cheap child labour.

2210:07:05: Space Amoeba spotted in the Bernard's Star system.
2210:10:09: Education in STEM becomes mandatory for all Earth children above the age of 4.
2211:03:26: Chadbook Technologies begins research into powered exoskeletons, claiming that it would have multiple uses in military and civilian industries, and could potentially render the concept of exercise itself obsolete.
2212:04:12: With the wealth gained from geothermal fracking, the United Nations implements the first ever global welfare state, all but ending poverty on planet Earth. Lowest approval rating of the United Nation government in the most skeptical province at 65%, highest at 85%. The United Nation also begins offering research grants to companies most willing to be on the vanguard of human discovery.
Spoiler: 2213:09:07 (click to show/hide)
The United Nation funds further infrastructure development, farming subsidies to boost the population even more. Changes to the school curriculum are made so that all children respect the values the United Nation was built on, all search indexes controlled by New Google and Old Google bury all information critical of United Nation policies on the 2nd page of their search results whereupon they are seen only by self-learning bots marketing free programs and sexually transmitted computer viruses.
2214:03:18: CyberIA is granted UN funds to begin research into the first economically viable robotic humanoid unit, capable of socializing and working with humans on a very basic level.

Teneb

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2017, 10:00:39 am »

I get the feeling the planet's about to get crowded.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2017, 11:53:40 am »

I get the feeling the planet's about to get crowded.
Nah it's ok, once Earth reaches its limit the UN plan is just to drive reproduction down with education, contraceptives and whatnot using the administrative AI to ensure humanity is at replacement rate but nothing more

2216:01:26: First robots from CyberIA (Cybernetic Intelligence Artificiale) begin work at the homes of eldery, lonely and in the boreholes of Mohorovicic discontinuity. The efficiency of these robotic units allows the United Nations to begin nationalizing Chadbook boreholes, closing them down as increased productivity allows fewer boreholes to supply the same demand with less impact on the environment.
2218:02:13: Research into strategically viable fusion power cells begins.
2220:01:01: President Margherita Ferrari reelected for a second 10 year election term. She continues on the same path of policy and objective, continuing to shut down boreholes and factories, transferring workers from them into operating power production or fields of research.
2224:05:23: Reshuffle of the science cabinet replaces specialists with "geniuses", research begins into Adaptive Bureaucracy and Self-aware logic for total efficiency of the coming radical reform of Earth's economy.

2225:01:01: Mankind is 3 months away from being fully populated with perfect malthusian balance. All of mankind’s needs are effectively serviced by 1 robot nation, mankind is 3 months away from a post-scarcity world where most of mankind is free to pursue intellectual pursuits, as all industrial nations (sans the robonation) switch to producing blue sky intellectual resources. With the single borehole nation manned by autonomous worker units providing all the resources and consumer goods needed for the entirety of mankind to live off of welfare for the entirety of their lives, mankind enters a post-scarcity world administrated by its adaptive bureaucracy, part living machine, part living man. Working class jobs no longer exist, with what resources available being used to fund public laboratories, libraries, hypergaming forums, kinetic nature zones and mindful museums to allow all of mankind to engage in intellectual pursuits at their own leisure.

Spoiler: 2225:03:13: (click to show/hide)
Post-scarcity budget parity is achieved, with the consumer budget balanced at +0.65 mineral units.
2226:09:01: Technological ascendancy begins, the age of discovery in mankind's technological progress begins.
2228:09:14: Margherita Ferrari dies at age 75, the post Ferrari world is one marked by high average lifespans, low human stress, breakthroughs in technology and extremely high satisfaction amongst all human nations. Linguists forecast the local global multimodal greeting changing from "kill yourself lol" to "kill yourself kindly."

Spoiler: 2228:09:15: (click to show/hide)
Dr. Alejandro Perez becomes President Alejandro Perez after the unfortunate death of President Margherita Ferrari. 66% of mankind is self-funding their own research in STEM fields, 20% engage in work related to quantum finance or regular finance while 13% are engaged with maintaining public services or administration. Robots do all menial work for mankind, hobbies have become careers and careers become hobbies, as all of mankind is suddenly liberated from all obligations of time and decorum.
2229:11:08: Researchers determine that raising the productivity of Borehole Nation to +3.75 minerals would allow mankind to switch to utopian economics without the system collapsing.

Spoiler: 2230:02:28: (click to show/hide)
In the Kildatha system, an alien science vessel detected was detected. It doesn't really communicate anything and after visiting every orbital body in the Kildatha system disappears from human observation distance. President Alejandro approves an expansion of Earth's observatories in the hope of locating the whereabouts of that science vessel's home planet, no resources are diverted away from the road to utopia project. Earth is getting super comfy

2233:11:02: Mankind finally determines the origin point of the science vessel. Our observations are mutual, as the alien civilization's science vessel observes from a neighbouring star system the communications coming from Planet Earth. It hails President Alejandro in what is called the first intelligent contact, as discussed on Mongolian picture flipbook discussion caves on planet earth.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The race of extraterrestial plant people declares that Earth will burn and mankind will be turned into compost for the plant people to consume. That same day Earthkind reacts in horror that its most popular brand of juicing shoes closes down after its celebrity chef is arrested for 1st degree verbal mutilation. President Alejandro approves a temporary deferment of utopian economics in order to fund more public infrastructure projects.

*EDIT
Fixed image
« Last Edit: January 02, 2018, 01:42:45 pm by Loud Whispers »
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NJW2000

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2017, 12:32:23 pm »

ptw
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Hanzoku

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2017, 12:59:48 pm »

This is going to end badly, unless another, friendlier alien nation shows up nearby that Earth can become a protectorate of.
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inteuniso

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2017, 01:33:05 pm »

Nah it's ok, once Earth reaches its limit the UN plan is just to drive education down with education

This is a game not a simulator.

Anyway, what are you going to replace to prevent starvation? Who needs science anyway.
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Lol scratch that I'm building a marijuana factory.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2017, 06:18:24 pm »

This is going to end badly, unless another, friendlier alien nation shows up nearby that Earth can become a protectorate of.
Ignore the aliens, we'll be fine

This is a game not a simulator.
It is a simulation within a game

Anyway, what are you going to replace to prevent starvation? Who needs science anyway.
Replace nothing, Stellaris starvation mechanics are nonexistent. The game assumes that even if you wipe out all food production buildings, you haven't really wiped out all food or food production - only reduced its availability. I've gone decades without food and starvation hasn't even triggered, so I'm guessing not colonizing or exploring at all may have bugged it out somewhat. At any rate, even with the happiness penalty, it is so small that utopian economics eliminates the penalty twice over. Road to Utopia cannot be compromised

2239:03:19: Alejandro Perez re-elected, maintaining all of Earth's planetary defence units at their current level. Reports come in from the observatories that the Mandasura are technologically inferior to the wonders of Earth, and thus are nothing to fear for the time soon. However, proposals are made to fortify the solar system. [Should I compromise the no-spaceport, no-spaceship, no militiarized space rule by fortifying planet Earth with orbital defences? Of note is that Earth cannot actually afford to defend itself without either ending social welfare or opening more boreholes, which I think may ruin the idealism a tad bit].

2241:06:17: Hypercomms forum research completed allowing users to one day theoretically upvote in 5 dimensions in a multi-tiered media campaign to heighten the planetary unity of all customers.

2244:06:12: Yesinia Qesim takes over from previous Earth governor as governor of Earth, continuing the infrastructure projects and production targets of expansion and refinement. When it comes to laboratories, MORE MORE MORE!

2244:12:14 Research into droids by CyberIA commences, CyberIA promising that the new droids would be able to much more convincingly interact with humankind in a non-disturbing way. At the very least, they would be able to walk up and down stairs good.

2245:01:04: At great expense, planetary capital project is begun, pooling all of Earth's resources together to form one true megacity capital of ALL planetkind. Owing to Governor Qesim's resourcefulness, the cost of the capital was much lower than expected, completed ahead of schedule with no compromise on quality - the capital even increasing the productivity of the borehole nation nearby, paying back its investment in minerals.

2248:05:25: The first droid units enter the fray, entering service in all good industries and boring ones too. Droids call for tech support upon malfunctioning, the droid unit on the other end of the datauplink is a droid, and the technician sent to perform rudimentary diagnostics is a droid.

2248:09:08: Research to increase the longevity of leaders is begun, Alejandro Perez arguing that having Earth's leaders live longer would increase the stability and progress of the planet, and would certainly be worth the cost to the state. It would practically pay itself back.

2249:06:16: Charles Paquett becomes President, replacing Alejandro Perez as President of Earth. President Paquett personally oversees much of the infrastructure development of Earth, being an architect at heart. Though some of his buildings displayed a rather dull sense of imagination, they nevertheless were functional and were completed with rapidity that was unusual even by the high standards of the United Nation.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Location of us, location of them and all the stars surrounding us. Hopefully nothing in Omicron Persei VIII.
Important crossroads, besides us are a race of genocidal plants. They clearly hate us and want Earth to burn. Their technology is inferior to us but their fleet is superior to our fleet by an unknown quantity vs our 0. I am guessing they are not actually one of the starting civs since they would have found us a lot sooner otherwise, probably being instead a civilization in the atomic age that just recently attained FTL travel. Furthermore, if they were strong enough to confidently wipe us out they would've done so already, so it seems we've got some more years still before they potentially feel confident in setting Earth on fire. If there is another alien space faction out there, they will undoubtedly view our neighbour more unfavourably than us, as our neighbour gets a gargantuan -1000 relations to everything that moves, so it is possible we'll survive long enough without any space defences to gain the protection of another alien species.

Alternatively we'll have to break the rules and have a military space defence budget. And that is bad.

TheDarkStar

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2017, 01:10:01 pm »

aliens don't exist

aliens don't exist

aliens don't exist

aka ignore defense for the good of Earth (and maybe in the name of FUN).
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it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

Loud Whispers

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2017, 01:36:07 pm »

aliens don't exist
aliens don't exist
aliens don't exist
aka ignore defense for the good of Earth (and maybe in the name of FUN).
You're right, aliens don't exist! Ahaha, that Mandasura show was quite a laugh, very retro-war of the worlds style. A little uninspiring though. Earth-burning plants? I mean, come on, who writes this nonsense...

TheDarkStar

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2017, 03:46:06 pm »

*is too busy streaming mindmemes straight into my brain to care*
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it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

Askot Bokbondeler

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Re: Stellaris: Never leave Earth
« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2017, 07:55:00 pm »

ptw
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