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Author Topic: It's Called Manipulation  (Read 165 times)

theTrueMikeBrown

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It's Called Manipulation
« on: September 13, 2017, 06:05:08 pm »

For fun, I just wrote a book about management.

Would anyone be interested in reading it?

Here is the intro:

People are dumb. Really, Really dumb. They are shockingly dumb. Iím talking about a neutron star composed entirely out of hammers level stupidity. Most humans consider television to be educational, and believe random things that they find on the internet. Some even believe things that politicians say. The average human being cannot count to 1. Many donít even know what the word count means. Some canít even remember that they are human.
You might think that I am being a bit hyperbolic here, but I am not. The average human being makes any given amoeba look like Einstein. For every neuron that fires in the average personís brain, one person has been hit in both eyes by a meteorite at the same time.
Humans are dumb. This is an important point to understand if you want to make any sense of the rest of this book, so at the risk of repeating myself too much I have to say again that humans are dumb.
That being said, for the safety of everyone on the earth you need to take charge. If you made it this far in this book then that means that you can read (or that someone made a audio version of this book, which is pretty hard to imagine). If you can read, then you are in the top 0.001% of people on the earth in regards to intelligence.
If you do not take charge, nuclear war might break out at any moment, people could quit getting their immunizations and we could be wiped out by polio, or they could just decide that breathing carbon monoxide is a good weight loss drug. The right thing to do is obviously to convince everyone around you to do exactly what you want them to do. The only way to do this is to be a manager.
If you are already a manager, then you need this book to make yourself a better manager. If you are not yet a manager, then for the good of the human race, become a manager!
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What puts the "ape" in apricot?

IndigoFenix

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Re: It's Called Manipulation
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2017, 08:49:33 am »

Some are even dumb enough to pay attention to someone just because they made them feel less dumb... ;)

Kind of laying it on a bit thick.  Some of the things you said are objectively false.

Baffler

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Re: It's Called Manipulation
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2017, 11:47:43 am »

Yeah, needs dialed back about 30 notches. As-is it looks like you wrote it explicitly to repost for karma on r/latestagecapitalism.
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theTrueMikeBrown

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Re: It's Called Manipulation
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2017, 08:27:38 pm »

Haha, yeah, it is totally supposed to be way over the top.

Somehow I forgot to mention in the original post that the book is supposed to be a joke. My manager at work made a quote that inspired the entire thing, and it sort of wrote itself.
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theTrueMikeBrown

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Re: It's Called Manipulation
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2017, 10:39:56 pm »

Perhaps I wrote it too tongue in cheek, if both of you assumed that I was being serious...

The cover has promises that you will learn about lying, backstabbing, hypnotism, abuse, and much more - it doesn't really teach all that.
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: It's Called Manipulation
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2017, 12:07:29 pm »

You overshot there somewhat. I also think that the intro in a bit too congratulatory to the reader just for reading it, though the idea is very much interesting.
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