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[Iamblichos]

King Kol Chainanvil, Undisputed Lord of the Ponderous Knives, Ruler of the Mountains of Meandering was at dinner... with me.  The King took a bite of his rutherer roast and glanced up at me.  "So I understand from the librarians that you are a specialist in history?"  Eyeing my plate, he added "Eat up, it's very good."

I toyed with my food but obediently took a mouthful and chewed.  It tasted like sawdust thanks to my nerves.  Why was the King interested in history suddenly?  My father always warned me not to get sucked into politics, and dinner with the King was about as far into politics as one could get, especially in private.

"So," he continued, "... Mistem, I understand that you are an expert in the history of the rise and fall of the, who were they, the High Plant?"  The king took a deep drink from his platinum goblet and looked at me expectantly.

"Plank, sir, yes.  The High Plank never did very well, but they struggled along until the final destruction in 73 at the hands of an unprecedented union of the elven kingdoms of the Waxy Dawn, the..."  This was familiar ground.  Apparently his majesty was interested in history.  Who knew?

"Yes, yes, very tragic stuff that!  Filthy tree worshipping vermin."  King Kol leaned forward.  "Tell me, in your research, did you ever come across any evidence of a High Plank plan to settle in the Shattered Tundras?"

Once again, I could feel the solid mountain turning to goo beneath my boots.  "The... no!  I mean, no, sir, I never saw anything about... The High Plank was not a large civilization, begging your Majesty's pardon.  They had a few cities, centered on their main keep of Tombclasps.  Their initial settlement of Galleylauds was destroyed almost immediately by a roc, nobody knows why.  Once the Waxy Dawn conquered Tombclasps, and took it for their own, only a few small hillock settlements survived and eventually they collapsed as well.  The Shattered Tundras are on the other side of the continent from where Tombclasps were."  The king rolled his eyes; clearly I was missing something in this conversation.

"Very well, historian... let me teach you some history then."  The king smiled... it wasn't a particularly pleasant smile.  He continued. "Deep in the Shattered Tundras, on the coast of the Leaky Gulf, there is a very interesting spot indeed.  Did you know Erush Lushwhips, the one everyone called 'Hammer'?"  I shook my head, worried about where this seemed to be going.  "Well, she led an expedition of archaeologists to a spot named Shieldguard.  She said that it was the secret weapon of the High Plank against the elven threat.  Said she would bring me back evidence."  The King shook his head glumly.  "But we haven't heard anything more."

"Secret weapon?  Your Majesty, if Fikod Strikesyrup had a secret weapon, he would have used it good and hard when the Waxy Dawn, the Simple Deer and the Couple of Assault all destroyed his citadel and killed his people."  I was so confounded by the ridiculous story being told I forgot to be afraid.  "Furthermore, the High Plank lived due south of us, nowhere near the Shattered Tundra, and certainly not on the far side of it!  All their settlements were in a small geographical area, no further than the distance between Pastboots and Relicbloods.  Not only are the elves in the way, they would have to go past at least four goblin kingdoms to get there."

"Yes!  Exactly!"  The King finally thought I had come to the correct conclusion, whatever that was.  "There are all those goblins there!  While we get along reasonably well with the plant eaters, the goblins are a constant threat.  So glad you agree with me... so round up some friends and go see what Hammer is up to in the tundra.  Think of the history, an undiscovered site of the High Plank!"  At this point, I realized the sad truth; the King wasn't interested in history at all.  I was going to die in the wastes to something horrible.  But the King wasn't done yet.  "Take lots of writing material; I expect regular reports.  And when you figure out what this secret weapon was, tell me that, hmm... tell me that you've figured out your grandmother's recipe!  Yes, that will do."  The King was chuckling, pleased with his plan.  "Now go along, and tell the bookkeeper that you have a Royal Warrant for supplies, take whatever you need."  Looking down at my abandoned plate, the King said "What a waste of food.  Tch tch."

[Iamblichos]

The journey was harrowing.  I gathered together a few dwarves who were willing to risk it all on the trek.  Two miners, a journeyman smith who had quarreled with his master, a half-crazed architect who was always building mad contraptions... these were useful people if we found anything, although I had strong doubts that anything would be forthcoming but an early death.  My friend Mosus, who had known me since we were fortress urchins together.  Kordam the god of fate had decreed that the two of us share our lives, it seemed... everywhere each of us went, the other was always along.  I told him to stay; pleaded with him, even.  I said this crazed mission would be the death of one of us, but there was no reason it should be the death of us both.  He wouldn't hear of it, though, Udil bless him.  He left his job in the farms and came along as well.  The last of us was an enigma - the king sent word that his "dear friend" Iteb Olingeb would be leading the expedition.  Iteb had experience as a negotiator and recordkeeper... more to the point, looking at his oiled leather clothing and his sinewy muscles, Iteb was the king's spy.  No secret weapon would escape his gaze, that's for sure... I just hoped he didn't have orders to kill us all as soon as we were outside the Meandering Peaks. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Early one cold autumn morning, we left Snarlmines for the journey north.

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Over the next month, we crept northward and eastward, moving most often under cover of darkness.  The nearby humans, known as the Empire of Grains, had suffered under the goblin lash for a bit, but they had carried the assault to the dark fortresses themselves.  Word was that the Grainites now controlled most of the former sites of the Wickedness of Bottoms, and were making inroads against the Immorality of Daubing far in the west.  Not for the first time, I wondered if the king was really worried about the goblins or about the humans who had settled in so many dark fortresses and pits that their civilization had become half-goblin itself.  The mountains on the other side of the Empire were... wrong.  There were strange noises at night, and odd smells; we saw dead things moving at a distance, and we hurried past.  We cut across the Shattered Tundras, the cold gnawing at us, and crept beneath the very walls of the dark fortress of Ballhated, where the infernal fortress of Faintedshaft loomed over the walls, pulsing with an unholy greyish light in the gloom.  Finally, on the 21st of Opal, we arrived.

The fate of the expedition was... quite evident.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Bodies and equipment lay everywhere.  The "great site" turned out to be nothing more than a pitiful room scraped out of the clay on the surface and a stairwell leading into nothingness.  Hammer's journal was found in shreds, but what I was able to piece together was clear enough.  She doomed this expedition.  Coming north without enough food or water, she was convinced that she would be able to survive off what her team scavenged from the caverns... but they never found the caverns.  Something terrible happened.  Their few pitiful clothes and possessions littered the ice.  The doors that had been made to cover the entrance swung lazily in the stinking breeze off the frozen water.  This was a terrible, terrible place.  Luckily we got our supplies inside before Iteb pointed out what was coming across the ice... undead walruses.  Truly this place is accursed. May Kordam Veilmaze the Portent of Puzzling take pity upon us, caught here in the ice in his web.  We will seal the doors and hope for the best.  We have expanded the initial scrapings to add a farm... but confidence is low.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Iamblichos]

1 Granite, 306th Year of Kings

To His Majesty, King Kol Chainanvil, Undisputed Lord of the Ponderous Knives, &c., with warmest greetings and wishes for the continued good health of your Majesty, long may you reign.

We arrived in good order over one year ago today.  As noted in the initial dispatch, all previous explorers were discovered deceased of unknown causes, and have been suitably memorialized.

Per your Majesty's instruction, a thorough reconnaisance has been conducted at the site.  I regret to inform your Majesty that no weapon, secret or otherwise, is in residence in this cold and somewhat terrible place.  There have been interesting discoveries, though not of the historical variety.  The site itself, while quite unpromising on the surface, and being infested with particularly pernicious and unusual creatures both living and undead, is extraordinarily rich in minerals, specifically ore of almost every type known to dwarfkind.  The only metallic ores we have not found thus far are garnierite and, alas, iron.

There has been no indication in artifacts, stonework, or other forms of testimony that any citizen of the High Plank ever set foot on this land.  I regret to inform your Majesty that Erush Lushwhips was mistaken in her historical assessment.

Despite these setbacks, we remain committed to the potential benefit of the Ponderous Knives, and other itinerants have appeared across the ice to aid us.  The migrants that have joined our fort claimed to be running from the Empire of Grain, and numbered among them no less than three master doctors, skilled in every form of medical art, and two master bone carvers.  They have been remarkably taciturn as to their origins, but if the Imperials are making war again, we would humbly request that your Majesty send warning that we might prepare.

We have dug suitable farms:

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Devised crafting areas:

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Established forges deep (VERY deep) beneath the surface:

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And dug out living quarters, along with an inn, library, trade depot and other trappings of civilization:

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We are in the process of constructing a defensive tower around the entrance, but it is not yet anything worth noting.  If your Majesty would deign to send us a better architect, we might proceed with more alacrity.  We await your Majesty's command.

With best and warmest regards, yr. humble and obedient servant,

Mistem Tinteacher

[Iamblichos]

I fear the worst enemy has come to Shieldguard and destroyed it.

The Lag has come, and all are undone.

Something about this fort ran the FPS low almost immediately - I am only up to about 60 dwarves and it should be fine (it usually takes me 100+ to get lag)... yeah, fort is crawling.  Even the addition of DFHack didn't help.  Sorry, but the secret weapon is going to remain secret for a while  :/

[☼Another☼]

Check the caverns with DFHack. Undead sites can have an issue with conflicts in the cavern causing infinite zombies.

[Iamblichos]

It was the caverns... but not the infinite undead issue.  There is a magma pipe which is leaking into water... the constant flow and obsidian is causing massive lag.  *Sigh*

[☼Another☼]

Just so you can check next time, you can use flows (just put in the word flows) to check if there is magma/water flowing everywhere.

[snow dwarf]

Is there plans for this to continue, I honestly really enjoyed it

[☼Another☼]

Is there plans for this to continue, I honestly really enjoyed it

+1