Another day dawns upon a now reasonably well established koopa fortress. The sunlight is lost within the large cloud of miasma that is currently flooding this fortress's main entrance.
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After days of cluelessly removing corpses from the main ramp way, the koopas finally remove the particular one that was causing the miasma cloud. Only to have a different corpse start emitting miasma.
'Well, that's a first' Mottled Petrel remarked to himself, as he saw one of the trolls who had been hauling dead bodies for the past year break out into tears. 'I guess I should have seen this coming, with all of the trolls complaining about being horrified every time they try to work'. Mottled Petrel tried to cheer the troll up by changing him from corpse hauling duty to hauling the unnecessarily large amount of personal items to the demon king's new room, but the troll wouldn't have any of it.
For a long time, the capnaps and the helmet snakes had been breeding faster than they could be butchered, leaving the koopas with more meat than they knew what to do with. Now that it was finished, Mottled Petrel began marking unwanted animals to be dropped from a lethal height into the corpse pit (the one that still wasn't being used for dumping).
A particularly mischievous ghost decided to waltz right OVER the cage traps set in the caves to maul the capnaps who had been chained there. After killing all but one horribly damaged and mentally scarred capnap, it wandered back into the darkness.
"*sigh* Who's trying to invade us this time? Actually, you know what, let me look at the civilizations we are currently at war with, it can't be that many-"
"...Huh. I could've sworn it was more than that. Oh well, not like we really have a chance of fighting any of them off anyway". It was the forumites again, bringing an army that could have sieged a real city with hundreds of inhabitants, which was complete overkill for the tiny fort that they were at. Either they were still mad about the 7 plump helmet men that the koopas had killed a few years ago, or they had realized that there was now a demon king in the fort. Or they were just bored, it happened to war lords a lot more than you would think. Either way, they would have to go through the incineroar who was encased in lead.
Having hardly crested the hill, one of the forumite's electrodes self destructs right in the middle of their ranks. This only causes more nearby war electrodes to combust, setting a poor plump helmet man soldier on fire.
They were hardly ten seconds into the invasion, and already they had sparked a forest fire, their animals were terrified, and they were losing soldiers, they hadn't even made it to the incineroar yet. The bob-ombs did surprisingly little to ward off the invaders, but at that point the forumites looked pretty desperate to get away from their own catastrophe behind them.
It didn't look like the forumites were going to make it very far.
While that was happening up on the hill, a group of 5 forumites decided to flee the scene and chase down an also fleeing baby bob-omb. The military intervened once it became obvious that the bob-omb intended to run directly into the fort. The first forumite was killed with only a minor wound to one of the new recruits, but the forumite behind him entered a martial trance. The forumite killed one of the recruits after cutting off almost all of his arms, but lord_lemonpie broke his neck not soon after, paralyzing most of his body before he could do anymore damage. The next forumite similarly had his neck broken, but while this was happening the first paralyzed forumite bit lord_lemonpie's back and shook, tearing apart his lower spine's nervous tissue.
The koopas moved in to finish the paralyzed forumites, while the shadow gnome got his shoulders destroyed by the remaining able bodied forumite. Still in a martial trance, one of the paralyzed forumites bit the hell out of one of the recruits. After a long scuffle, the recruit died, but lord_lemonpie managed to kill the remaining forumites. The koopas were told to return inside and hope that the fire would ward off the rest of the invasion.
Before they could get inside, a forumite axemite descended upon lord_lemonpie. Unable to stand up because both of his ankles were broken, lord_lemonpie had to fend off both a plump helmet man soldier and a trained axemite from the ground. With a few lucky shots, lord_lemonpie managed to level the playing field by bringing both of his opponents to the ground as well. After another long scuffle, she managed to kill the axemite without further injury, but had more trouble with the plump helmet man.
For her bravery on the field of combat, she was awarded the title 'Lord_lemonpie Helmssea the Future Magma'. As far as titles went, it wasn't that bad.
Not even ten feet away, a visiting togriq crossbowman showed similar merit on his way to the tavern.
Still wallowing in his own blood and the viscera of the axemite he had just killed, lord_lemonpie was set upon by a forumite marksmite and two more plump helmet man soldiers. Expecting an easy kill, the forumite walked up to lord_lemonpie with the intent to finish him off with the butt of his crossbow.
Instead, lord_lemonpie sucker punched him so hard that the forumite's cheek was reduced to pulp. While stunned, the forumite had his ankle rended to a horrible angle, before having his chest cavity caved in by a bash from one of lord_lemonpie's mini-chomps. The plump helmet men were next, and despite being unarmored they were pretty resistant to damage, as they had no real internal organs. After yet another long scuffle, both plump helmet men were killed, and the rest of the military arrived to lend future assistance. Not that it really mattered though, it looked like most of the forumites had decided to flee.
Of course, that would have been too convenient though. A forumite axemite in a martial trance got the jump on KoopaUnknown and broke his knee, only to have his face filled with a steel trident. At that point the siege was mostly broken, except a for a squad of mixed forumite fighters who seemed content to sit up on the northern ridge. Deciding it wasn't worth the effort of trying to root them out of their hiding spot while not being able to walk, KoopaUnknown and Lord_lemonpie began to drag themselves inside. They didn't get very far before a madwoman was heard screeching from a nearby hill.
Sprinting across the fields, she slipped by the two injured koopas and the frogogs by the meat tower in an attempt to run straight into the fort. After yelling at a few lazer-ceratosauruses by the entrance, she high-tailed it back the way she came, only to circle back around for another pass.
A visiting ninja caravan had the pleasure of watching the whole thing from a distance. TheRedWolfII was able to knock the madwoman unconscious and finish her off before she could yell anymore stressful things. With that, the caravans of the various friendly empires started pouring into the fort, thankfully out of range of the 8 forumites still on their hill.
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Sorry for the delay, my computer's getting low framerates with just the fort's everyday life, the seige brought me down to 3-4 frames and it took quite some time.
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Topic: The Resurgence of Modded Hell (Back, Still Broken, Now With Giant Butterflies) (Read 284728 times)