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Which secret containing book should we steal first?

Creatures Uncovered (Concerns the secrets of the beast warrior)
- 5 (6.5%)
Misconceptions About The Dragonlord (Concerns the secrets of dragons)
- 10 (13%)
Foundations of Blizzards (Concerns the secrets of wind and air as magical weapons)
- 6 (7.8%)
The Meaning of Dragonfire (Concerns the secrets of dragons)
- 4 (5.2%)
Book of Coagulation (Concerns the secrets of legendary cheese making)
- 42 (54.5%)
Look for more books, I want a different secret
- 1 (1.3%)
Let's just steal a slab and hope for the best
- 9 (11.7%)

Total Members Voted: 77


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Author Topic: The Resurgence of Modded Hell (Back, Still Broken, Now With Giant Butterflies)  (Read 280431 times)

EPM

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #765 on: January 22, 2018, 03:43:28 pm »

It begins.
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Imic

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #766 on: January 22, 2018, 04:32:25 pm »

I can has kooping?
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MottledPetrel

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #767 on: January 22, 2018, 05:04:46 pm »

Seven koopas lay sound asleep in the middle of an open grassland, a large brook runs smoothly near them. One koopa slowly begins to stir, he gets up and utters a startled cry
---

'Wha... Where are we? I went to sleep and there was a giant purple mountain looming over us, now we're in an , actually very pleasant, field.' Mottled Petrel looked around, he concluded that this place was actually much more inviting than the location he had fallen asleep at. The animals were all still present, albeit asleep in a pile next to the koopas.


'Wait, why is there now a beta male, a fembot, a blitzle, and a mudsdale here?' It seemed that there were now a few new tamed animals in the pile as well, Mottled Petrel shrugged it off for he really wasn't in the mood to ponder all the phenomena that had happened. He started prodding the koopas in an attempt to wake them up "Come on guys, nap time is over, it's time for us to start working for a living.". The koopas groaned, but eventually all got up and stood side by side facing Mottled Petrel. "I know that no one here has any applicable work skills, but we all have to start learning a trade or two for the good of the fort. Anyone have any preferences before I start deciding for you?" the koopas pondered their options for a moment, but not for long because one of the ninjis stepped forward holding a letter in his hand, in a squeaky voice he proclaimed "Before this goes any farther, I just want to inform you that the mountain home has made ME the expedition leader. I've got degrees in fluid engineering, geography, necronomics, geology, magmaology, and Pelagic dance therapy, so  will be taking over from here". If anyone had bothered to look at the letter he was holding up they would have determined that it was just a poor attempt at scrawling 'Noko Meppaculonokon, Ninji = Expedition Leader' over the document that made Mottled Petrel the rightful expedition leader, but no one bothered so everyone bought it.

     Mottled Petrel blinked "Could you show me these degrees?", the ninji looked surprised that someone would ask to see his degrees "Uh... I can't, I, uh... left them in my other pants. The ones I, left at the mountain home.". Mottled Petrel used his advantage "Well, the overseer, so the one in charge. Expedition leaders don't do SQUAT after the expedition has arrived at the fort location, so if you wanted jurisdiction over this fort you should have said something while we were on the road!". The ninji looked down and backed back into the crowd of animals "All right, geeze, I'll leave it to you". Bloop_bleep raised his hand "Uhh, where are we exactly? Weren't we just at the foot of an evil mountain, why are we here now?" Mottled Petrel shrugged "Your guess is as good as mine, once we get a magikoopa I'll ask them if they can figure it out. So, what do you want to be?".

     Bloop_bleep thought for a moment, and then shook his head "I don't know, what do you want to give me?", Mottled Petrel didn't hesitate "As of now you are a miner, mason, stone crafter, architect, and stone detailer. I know that's a lot of things at once, but they're all stone related and we need to multitask until we have more koopas at the fort." He turned to Derpy Dev "And you?". Derpy Dev giggled "Bestest Comedian?" Mottled Petrel looked unamused "I'll put that down as your custom profession, but you're going to have the same jobs as bloop_bleep. Enemy Post, what d-" "HUNTER![/i]" Enemy Post bellowed "I will hunt, hunt above and below, hunt big and small, hunt tasty an-" "All right I get it, you'll be the hunter, but in addition you'll be fishing as well as our emergency medic." 'he's probably the last person I want as a medic, but he has the jobs that can be dropped easily to care for koopas when they need immediate treatment'. Gwolfski weirdly stroked his bottom lip in thought "I'll take wood working and the related wood tasks, seems like something we'd need in such a densely forested area." Mottled Petrel looked glad that someone actually had something they wanted to do "All right, Scourge, would you mind having the same tasks?... Scourge?" Scourge was busy giving one of the beta males a burning death stare "I'll take whatever you want to give me, as long as it's as far away as possible from HIM!".

     He almost spat that last word as he pointed an accusing finger towards the beta male that had somehow wronged him, the beta male just looked confused. Confused as to how he even got here in the first place, and confused as to why this koopa hated him like he had killed his child or something. "Uhh... I don't think I can restrain him from going near you, but I'll keep that in mind. ZM5, what's your desired profession?". ZM5 tried to strike a noble pose "I, am but an occultist." Mottled Petrel raised an eyebrow "Uh, what is that and how is it applicable.". ZM5 reluctantly broke his noble pose "It's like, a... you know what, just give me alchemy, other than that I'll farm on the side or something.". Mottled Petrel lowered his eyebrow a little, but not all the way down "Your custom profession can be occultist, but me and you will be handling all of the assorted farming tasks. You can have alchemy if you want, but I'm not sure what good it will do you.".

     The group walked forward to pick up the tools of their new trades, Derpy Dev dropped his pick on his foot when he tried to get it out of the wagon. "Woodcutters, I want you to cut down every tree in the immediate area. Miners, I want you to dig a ramp leading down into the heart of this hill we're on. Keep going down until you hit stone, and then go down a little further. Then I want you to dig out a large room. Enemy Post, just do what you want, don't get yourself killed. Me and ZM5 will start tilling farm plots and planting seeds. Other able bodied citizens," Mottled Petrel gestured to the trolls, beta males, and ninjis "you can just stay there until we need you for hauling.". Everyone rushed off to their assigned tasks, Mottled Petrel yelled behind them "And can someone set up a trade depot if they get a chance?". No one responded, except for a few snakes flying around in the trees, they replied with a "SKREEEEEEEE!".

He also noticed a pair of swords floating in the sky 'That's probably going to be a problem'.

     Out in the fields he say some dinosaurs he recognized, Struthiomimus, the bane of a fort's existence. Struthiomimus would rush into the fort and eat/drink everything in sight, they could bore a hole through even the most well made barrels. They'd be screwed if their already pitiful food supply was plundered, so Mottled Petrel thought to call up to the trolls to defend the wagon, but noticed they were bringing animals down to the proposed entrance instead. One of them offered "We got bored, so we thought we'd at least move the animals while we're waiting." "Well, I appreciate you doing so, but could you move the frogogs away from the fort a little? Their mucous is poisonous and I don't want anyone getting poisoned by them.". One of the trolls who had a frogog in their hands immediately dropped it, and wiped his hands off on the troll next to him. Needless to say, that troll wasn't too pleased by the gesture "And could you put the nipper spores right in the doorway? We need to start training them for defense as soon as possible. Leave the hint block and the bob-ombs by the wagon, I've got a special place for them once the main room has been dug out.". The trolls grunted a little, but did as they were told.

     Just then, Derpy Dev yelled up from the hole in the ground "HEY! We struck dolomite and some limonite, also, I think I might know how to mine now!". 'Good, we'll have steel in no time!'

     "Just mine out a big room down there somewhere, we'll worry about the ore and the specifics of the fort design later. Right now we need to get our supplies under ground, fast.", "Yes sir!" was all Derpy Dev responded with. Mottled Petrel turned back to the farm plot he was at 'All right, so how do you plant a seed again? Is it pointy side facing up, or facing down? Actually, what kind of seed even is this, most of the bags have some kind of gibberish on them with 'berry' after it' He looked closer at the bag in his hand "Babiri Berries? Whatever. Hey ZM5, just grab a bag and put only that type of seed into a single farm plot. Other than that just make sure it's something edible.". ZM5 also looked down at the bag in his hand "Do 'Chuckle Beanstalks' sound fine?" Mottled Petrel shrugged "We'll have a taste testing after the first harvest, decide what stays and what goes. Just plant something and we'll go from there.".

     Off in the distance Enemy Post can be see beating the hell out of a humming tadpole "I appreciate the enthusiasm Enemy Post, but we kinda need to eat those things. So could you try to not grind them to a pulp?" Enemy Post rolled his eyes and reluctantly set the humming tadpole on the ground beside him. Gwolfski reports that the trees in the immediate are have been cut "All right, set up a carpenters workshop and a craftskoopa's workshop. Start making some mugs, nesting boxes, and barrels.". 'Damn, I need a squire or something to help me organize the work force or something, because this kinda really sucks.' the struthomimuses are inching closer to the wagon.

     Hematite down in the mines, along with some bauxite "Just dig through it, no time to deal with it now". Mottled Petrel notices one of the frogogs run out of its pasture, so he goes to retrieve it, only to find the frogog punching one of the plundering struthomimuses. The struthomimus runs away with only a bruised wrist 'Oh come on, you couldn't finish him off?'.

     Bitomous coal down in the mine. Another bag of seeds, another name Mottled Petrel doesn't recognize 'Garlic? What kind of berry name is that? Whatever, sounds tasty enough.'.

     A large puff of smoke comes from the entrance way, after it clears there are six little nipper plants hopping around. One of them bites bloop_bleep in the ankle as he walks out of the entrance after a long day of digging. He brushes it away, but the nipper hops after him making little squeaking sounds almost as if it was trying to say 'Yeah, I showed you!'. Scourge has been working on his nest boxes for days, but finally claims that they are ready for their eggs. Mottled Petrel has them placed in the animal pasture, immediately they are claimed by the Orintholestes, the laser ceratosauruses, and the lawnmowers. Mottled Petrel forbids the eggs from being removed "I would like some more animals to hatch so we can have a source of meat, and protection.".

     Just then, an ear shattering "SKRAAAAA" can be heard in the skies, a giant bald eagle can be seen circling above, 'Fucking hell, can we go just a few days without something deadly flying above us, just once?'.

     More eggs, 27 thrash dove eggs to be exact 'I'm going to let those hatch too, but I'm probably going to regret it.'. Enemy Post is complaining about not having a 'Hunting Weapon', "You don't even know how to use a weapon" Mottled Petrel countered. Enemy Post wouldn't give it up though "Hunting is in my blood, any weapon I pick up can be used to hunt.". Mottled Petrel didn't care enough to argue with him, sowing the fields for days on end was wearing him down a little "Whatever, tell one of the wood workers to make you a wooden AK 47 and some wooden bullets to go with it, we'll upgrade you to a real metal one once we're able to." Enemy Post ecstatically ran off to pass the command.

     The first harvest is starting, the first plant to reach maturity was something called an 'onion'. Mottled Petrel didn't know what it was, so he took one and weighed it in his hand, he then took the large bulb and took a moderate sized bite out of it "Hmm, *munch, munch*, it's okay, definitely has a distinct flavor." He took another bite "We'll keep 'em, put them in some barrels and put them down in the unfinished main room somewhere. We need to get them out of the ground before they wilt.".

     The miners had only left a narrow passage way into the main room, barely big enough to squeeze a barrel through. The haulers were also just dumping the barrels and bags onto a pile of stone instead of taking the three seconds of effort to move the stones out of the way. Mottled Petrel was oblivious to this, but he'd eventually have to squeeze himself through the tight gap the next time he wanted to get a drink.

     A call up from the mine "We've cleared out a small room before clearing out the bigger room" Derpy Dev reported "Do you want to put some stuff down here?" Mottled Petrel walked down to survey the scene himself, and was disappointed that they couldn't have at least widened the entrance a little "All right, I want a kitchen, a still, a butchery, a fishery, and a tanner's workshop along this southern wall the eastern wall will eventually be dug out for a dining room, but for now I want these stations built and the food stockpile" He looked with a frown to see that the food had just been lazily thrown on top of some rocks "to be expanded.". 'Wait, why am I commanding this? Most of these tasks fall on me. Eh, hopefully someone will do it eventually, I've got seeds to plant.' "Also, I want someone to bring down the hint block and place him near the entrance to this main room.". With the food stockpile expanded, the trolls quickly rushed down and haphazardly threw more bags of seeds into the room.

     Mottled Petrel emerged from the fort to see that there were now four sunfloras happily prancing around in the meadow, praising the sun 'They're lucky Enemy Post is too incompetent to actually hunt them down, because they look like they wouldn't stand a chance.'.

     Many days have passed, still no one has made the still and there is no drink left. Most other fortresses would have crumbled because of this, but the koopas were only a little disappointed. "I'm going to get a drink" Mottled Petrel announced from the field, Gwolfski replied "We're out of drinks, remember. Why don't you go build us a still and brew some more?" Mottled Petrel let out a whine similar to that of a teenage girl koopa who wasn't getting her way "Because I don't want toooooo. I'll do it tomorrow, I'm going to get some water.". Golfski shook his head "Whatever man, just make it eventually.". 'I'll do it when I feel like it, gods he's got some nerve telling me to make it now. What is it, the 24th of Felsite? I'll do it next month.' Mottled Petrel walks to the river, but stops halfway and yells back to Gwolfski who is idly reclining in his carpenter station "Hey, could you make something we could pawn off to merchants? Just put some spikes on it and make it look really intricate and I'm sure they'll love it.". Gwolfski gets to it.

     It is now summer, and no still has been built yet "Come on Mottled Petrel, even Enemy Post built his stations by now" bloop_bleep complained "Seriously, it would take you about 10 minutes, we've got the parts laid out and we've even pitched in to create a instruction manual for you with big easy to follow pictures." bloop_bleep hand Mottled Petrel a big piece of paper comprised of many squares that illustrated the steps necessary for assembling a still. Enemy Post had assembled the fishery workshop and the butcher's table, and was actively cleaning a fish. Instead of the normal assortment of knives used to slaughter an animal, for whatever reason Enemy Post decided to build himself a miniature guillotine. It seemed that Enemy Post had retained the natural Koopa admiration of guillotines, even if it was very impractical for butchering.

     Mottled Petrel whined some more as if he had daddy issues "But I'm busy planting seeeeeeds. If you've got these instructions why don't you do it?" bloop_bleep didn't budge "Because I'm a miner and I'm busy mining out the living space so we don't all die on the surface. Just please get to it soon, my mug has been dry for longer than I'd like." Mottled Petrel crossed his arms with a sassy expression 'I'll do it when I feeeeel like it.'.


     Mottled Petrel ordered the stray mudsdale and blitzle to be butchered, the guillotine drops twice. The still has still not been made, and the koopas have decided that it's a better idea to drink from the stagnant pools instead of the fresh mountain stream literally right next to them.

     The caravan has arrived, for the first time since leaving the mountain home Mottled Petrel wonders what will happen to him after founding the fort way off course from the Waxy Jungles. The caravan was scheduled to arrive a few days after the founding of the fort, it has been about two months since then. Mottled Petrel decides the best course of actions is to hide in a nearby bush until the caravan leaves. Even from far over the hills, the Oracle sees him do this, and is greatly displeased.
---
Once the initial scramble to get everything underground calms down a little bit I'm going to try to put a bit more detail into my descriptions of the events, but what do you guys think so far?

Imic, you are currently 24th on the Koopa-ing list. In regards to Koopa-ing, I try to go by who asked first, but if someone requested something specific I'm going to try to hold of until a koopa with their desired profession arrives. First immigrant wave should be imminent.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2018, 05:10:22 pm by MottledPetrel »
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scourge728

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #768 on: January 22, 2018, 05:26:59 pm »

Scourge listened to the koopa, what was it's name (hard to remember with all the screaming voices) giving out instructions, starting to respond before one voice managed to overwhelm him "I'll take whatever you want to give me as long as it's as far away as possible from HIM! Scourge really needed to do something about that voice, before it got him killed, and then later, a loud screech Giant eagle that was apperently a giant eag- Dear...st...c... not an eagle, RUN AWAY RUN AWAY DON'T LET IT EAT YOU! Jeez, what's wrong with you? Scourge thought, deciding to try to communicate with what seemed the most intelligent of the voices only for it to respond in whispered what almost seemed like prayer Please....st..c...ple...pro....me

MottledPetrel

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #769 on: January 22, 2018, 06:28:07 pm »

I found it interesting that almost all of the koopas had at least one grudge with the trolls. This is literally the first time I've ever seen a grudge even form, and we've got at least 10 right off the bat. I'm sure this will do wonders for the fort stability once things start getting dicey, that and the fact that NO ONE WANTS TO BUILD THE FUCKING STILL!
« Last Edit: January 22, 2018, 06:44:37 pm by MottledPetrel »
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stingpie

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #770 on: January 22, 2018, 06:45:26 pm »

You gotta set everybody as a brewer to make it happen sometimes ya'know?
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The dwarven atom is made of !!TURKEY GOBLER!! remains

                         no one can deny this

ZM5

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #771 on: January 23, 2018, 05:36:03 am »

Huh, I've never seen grudges like this before.

I'm imagining a very confused weedy hipster-looking guy being yelled at by Koopa Scourge. A small beta male meekly trying to defend himself against w/e Scourge accuses him of, while Scourge is like Samuel L. Jackson, if Samuel L. was a koopa potentially being used as a vessel for entities from the outer spheres.

SQman

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #772 on: January 23, 2018, 10:54:39 am »

Heh, I like how a wooden ak-47 is such a normal thing, that any unskilled koopa can assemble it and make it shoot wooden bullets. That really shows how bizarre this world is.

Beta males are renamed trolls, so they are bigger and hairier than any koopa. They are obviously obese neckbeards with bad teeth (and horns for some reason). I don't blame koopa Scourge for not wanting to associate with one of them.

MottledPetrel

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #773 on: January 23, 2018, 11:17:15 am »

I believe the story of the beta males is that originally they were some super intelligent race, but also huge weebs. They found a way to turn their waifus into a living creature, the fembots. Then they started worshiping them or something, eventually they let all of their hygiene go and turned into the hairy almost trolls they are now. Then the fembots somehow followed suit, everyone losing all knowledge of everything along the way. So if anything it looks like koopa Scourge just hates weebs.

Now that you mention it, it is pretty funny that someone with no knowledge of fire arms can just assemble a wooden ak-47. There were also a lot of other wooden fire arms I could have ordered to be made, but the ak-47 was one of the few that could fire wooden bullets. He has yet to pick one up, so I don't know if he actually intends to shoot something sometime.

Finally, operation 'Everyone Brews Everything' is going to be a go.
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MottledPetrel

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #774 on: January 23, 2018, 12:09:03 pm »

Please, really quick, can someone tell me if I can weaponize this?

I bought it for future testing, but I'd like to know if I can spread were salamderism with it or if it's just going to be a story point.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2018, 12:15:17 pm by MottledPetrel »
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ZM5

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #775 on: January 23, 2018, 03:15:40 pm »

If this is vanilla weresalamander blood that by some miracle ended up being in a caravan, it wouldn't do anything either ingested or sprayed on someone.

If its from some mod, it'd probably only do stuff when being ingested - which I don't think koopas will do since it doesn't count as a food/drink item. If its contact syndrome (doubtful but possible) I still don't know how usable it'd be.

scourge728

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #776 on: January 23, 2018, 05:11:40 pm »

I mean if it's ingest syndrome you could stop brewing and put it into the water supply

MottledPetrel

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #777 on: January 23, 2018, 05:15:33 pm »

I guess it will just have to be used for !science!. And we don't have to stop brewing because the brewing never started. The still hasn't been made yet and about half the population has been unconscious for at least a month.
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ZM5

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #778 on: January 23, 2018, 05:28:21 pm »

about half the population has been unconscious for at least a month.
wat

MottledPetrel

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Re: The Refounding of Modded Hell (Hopefully Goes Smoothly)
« Reply #779 on: January 23, 2018, 05:37:20 pm »

I'm just going to leave you with that little tidbit, ZM5 you are one of the unconscious. Also, congratulations Stingpie, you're married to EPM.

Update sometime tonight.
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