I haven't had that much time for update recently, but a giant snow storm is heading my way this week, so I'm going to try to bust out some more updates then.
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Two koopas stand at the bottom of a deep stairway, one with a pickaxe in their hand, and one with a small drawing of a lawnmower. They are both looking through a large hole in the wall that reveals expansive caverns beyond it.
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'What the fuck am I looking at, this place looks like a barber's hair disposal' Mottled Petrel thought as he tried to make heads or tails of the underground flora.
To give Mottled Petrel credit, the tree rising in front of him did look like a giant heap of hair held up by a log. "Say, you're a miner, do you have any idea what this pile of hair is" Mottled Petrel asked Derpy Dev, who was standing behind him. Derpy Dev thought for a moment "I think I've heard about this from one of the visitors, I believe that it's a beardwood tree. For some reason, it grows beard hair instead of leaves. I've also heard that if you find one, it can come to be a real life-
shaver!" Derpy Dev said, giggling out the last line.
Mottled Petrel died inside a little at hearing that pun, but continued to look around to see if he could find something not covered in facial hair. From his position he couldn't see many more plants than the usual stenchblooms, underberries, and cave grapes, but the water below him seemed to be teeming with life.
And by life, he saw that it was absolutely filled with baby cheeps. 'This place is going to be a nightmare for everyone if those baby cheeps ever mature into full sized cheep cheeps, we don't need to have a repeat of the river massacre of 78' "Just, just cover up this hole when you get a chance. There's nothing down here of interest so far, but I don't want the interesting things climbing up here with spike covered tentacles when we're not looking." Mottled Petrel said to Derpy Dev as he turned to climb back up the staircase "Alright sir, I'll get to it in time, just bear-
d with me!". Mottled Petrel was past the point of feeling emotion for the day, but if that wasn't the case he would have likely banged his head against the wall a few time.
Up on the surface a flock of birdemic birds were actively trying to kill a giant moth in an aerial duel, while Enemy Post ran beneath them with his wooden AK 47. Mottled Petrel walked up to him "Enemy Post, why aren't you using the new weapon I had made for you? And didn't I forbid that wooden weapon?" Enemy Post didn't look over, as he was too busy trying to 'get a good shot' at the winged beasts far above him "Can't, on active hunting duty, no time.". Mottled Petrel, with the steel cannon in his arms, blinked "Well then you're off active hunting duty". Enemy Post looked towards him with a look of a kid about to throw a tantrum "
FINE, I didn't want to hunt anyways" he yelled as he threw his wooden AK 47 to the ground. "Hey, Enemy Post" Mottled Petrel called as Enemy Post started to storm away "You're back on active hunting duty". Enemy Post looked elated, and ran back to retrieve his fire arm that was on the ground. "You can't use that one, that one is forbidden" Mottled Petrel called, causing Enemy Post to stop halfway through his attempt to pick up his weapon "But how do I hunt without weapon?" asked Enemy Post. Mottled Petrel held out the cannon in his hands "Here, don't tell anyone I did this, but you can use this special '
chief' hunter's weapon". Enemy Post ran to Mottled Petrel and took the steel cannon from his hands as if he was being knighted, and then flipped through the various control buttons, firing latches, and the other obscene amount of complicated doodads attached to the piece of artillery with the ease of someone who had been making artillery all their life.
Mottled Petrel instantly regretted his decision, the amount of competency Enemy Post was showing with his new weapon was alarming at best, terrifying at worst. As if to further cement this fear, Enemy Post ran back over to the crowd of birdemic birds still trying to kill the giant moth. He hoisted the cannon over his shoulder, and flipped through the magnification lenses on his weapon until he found one that he liked. With an earth shattering '
boom', Enemy Post fired a high velocity bullet bill up into the heavens as if to smite the gods themselves. The bullet bill shrieked up into the sky, with an expression that said its limited consciousness was craving the blood of the birdemic birds quickly getting closer to it.
The shot missed, and continued flying straight into the sky, but the shock wave of the passing bullet bill alone was enough to send the flock staggering back, likely with internal bleeding and bursted ear drums. What had once been a feeding frenzy was now a mad scramble to see who could fly away the fastest. Enemy Post chose not to pursue them, instead opting to look over his shoulder towards Mottled Petrel with an idiotic grin, and then to hold up one of his unused hands to give a thumbs up. Mottled Petrel smiled and shook his head, then walked away.
(togriq)
At the entrance Mottled Petrel noticed a haxxor and a togriq asking Pikalord if he could direct them to the tavern. Pikalord did, and then asked the two if they had seen any pikachus on their travel. Both of them looked at each other, and then unanimously said no. Pikalord walked back into the fort as if they were no longer worth his time. The two scratched their heads, but eventually walked inside. Before they did so, the haxxor turned and called behind him "
ALRIGHT GUYS! This is the place", causing a large crowd to emerge from behind the hills.
Among them was a forumite (Ironically, the sworn enemy of the haxxor), a pianta (An oddly colorful and oddly muscular humanoid with a tree growing out of its head), two pirates, a ninja, and another togriq. They all swarmed into the entrance and into the tavern for free meals and free alcohol.
Farther out in the trees a large, horribly rotted zombie stumbled towards the fort. A huge, perforated sack was where his stomach should be, said sack was still filled with corrosive stomach acid, evident by the little drips that were escaping it. Mottled Petrel was just about to call the alarm when the pianta turned around to see the zombie "
AAAAYYYyyy! Sto! Glad you could make it buddy. Drinks are on me at this place, I've got to tell you about all the crazy shit I've seen around this place. I'm telling you man, this place is the spot..." the pianta said as he put his arm around the zombies shoulder, walking him inside.
The zombie made a toothy grin with what little was left of his lips and made a few friendly groans. 'Where the hell are all these nutbags coming from, there are well established koopa towns just up north that have seen less total visitors in their decades of existence than we get in an afternoon. I swear, some of these guys better decide that they want to stay or I'm moving the tavern to the caverns' Mottled Petrel thought, as he watched the zombie drip his stomach acid all over the entrance ramp that had just been cleaned.
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Still no invasion, but the tavern is still being filled with colorful characters that I never even knew existed. I'm going to try to update more, but no promises.
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Topic: The Resurgence of Modded Hell (Back, Still Broken, Now With Giant Butterflies) (Read 284720 times)