A short one today, but hopefully a full one next weekend or during the week.
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In a shallow koopa fort two miners chip away at the last bits of stone jutting out from an otherwise smooth wall. About ten other koopas stand in this room in front of another koopa with a piece of paper in his hand.
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Mottled Petrel addressed the crowd in front of him "Welcome to Modded Hell! There really isn't much to tell you guys about, all of us were sent here for one reason or another. Before I start doling out work, does anyone have any questions?" MrLurkety raised his hand "Uh, why are there three koopas and a ninji passed out in the food pile?". EPM was sitting on top of them, either completely oblivious or just because he was a jerk. Urlance Woolsbane was next to him, apparently diagnosing "Dream ale overdose, they'll be out for well over a year. There's nothing we can do about it.". Wags had just been beginning the motion of pouring himself some dream ale, upon hearing this he immediately stopped in his tracks.
"I'm not sure what we're going to do about them." Mottled Petrel confessed "Any more questions?" almost all of the koopas attending raised one of their hands "None? Got it. All right, now that the main room has been almost cleared out I want workshops to be set up. I want three mason workshops, three carpenter's workshops, three craftskoopa's workshops, three mechanic's benches, a jeweler's bench, three smelters, and a forge. Anything that can be made out of wood should be made out of wood. Now, off to it!" the crowd dispersed to assemble the various workshops.
"Sir, we've finished clearing out the main room." Derpy Dev reported to Mottled Petrel. "Good, now, the deepest soil layer, I want you to dig out an area for underground farming and animal taming.".
After this order Mottled Petrel notices EPM claim a nestbox, and then lay four koopa eggs. 'With her husband here there's a pretty good chance that those eggs are fertilized', Mottled Petrel yells "Congratulations" over to EMP, who just blushes and gets back to work.
Some giant sparrows now circle above, Enemy Post seems convinced that he can hunt them too. Mottled Petrel doesn't try to stop him this time. Instead, he tells his squire to order the carving of some bone AK-47's and some bone bullets. In addition, he orders the production of some shell shells "It's been too long since I've been able to curl up into a shell for a nice rest, if we've got any shell somewhere have someone try to make them into a shell." "Understood" said Silverlocke as he scampered away to relay orders. No shells could be found 'I'll order some bone shells if Enemy Post ever manages to kill anything'.
KoopaUnknown suddenly yells "
FROM NOW ON NO ONE IS TO ZELL ANY LARGE ZERRATED DIZKZ, WE NEED THEM TO PROTECT COMMUNIZM!". Mottled Petrel happened to be on break and was having a drink with the oracle when this happened, the oracle shook his head "Keep an eye on that one, we threw him out of the mountain homes because of how much of a political zealot he is. As you know, the mountain home is communist, but its a very moderate communism. We're rather accepting of other political ideas, as long as they don't directly challenge the koopa beliefs. But this guy, he almost killed a few koopalings who happened to be discussing democracy in the eastern dining hall." the oracle took another sip of his drink "Just... play the facade and he probably won't notice that this isn't as communistic of a fort as he thinks it is.". Mottled Petrel nodded slowly, before he yelled out to the rest of the koopas in the main room "You heard him, no selling any large serrated disks".
Silverlocke runs up to Mottled Petrel "Sir, the miners have struck stone in the proposed underground farm, should they continue as planned?" "Yeah, just keep going, we'll put the stockpiles and farmer's workshops over the stone. Oh, and have someone make an armor stand, I want the militia training as soon as possible. And have someone start cutting gems".
The still has still not been built yet, but the furnaces have been "I want 10 bars of charcoal made, and then I want someone on constant iron and coal smelting. Then, I want this next furnace to be only steel and pig iron smelting. There's no time for lesser metals, we need to be ready to defend ourselves
NOW. I also want some tables and chairs.". Satisfied with another fine round of orders, Mottled Petrel walks back to the surface to plant more seeds. Upon doing so he trips over the nipper plants that have become piranha buds at the entrance. He call back "Can somebody carefully dig these guys up and place them at the tunnel intersections?".
Autumn has come, and the still still hasn't been built, Mottled Petrel grows impatient. He lays out the blueprints for the proposed barracks and puts them at a lower priority than the miners are currently working at.
After the making of a office for the bookkeeper Silverlocke reports to Mottled Petrel "Sir, a ruxian caravan is on the horizon." Mottled Petrel looked confused "What the hell is a ruxian?" Silverlocke looked a little surprised by this "What do you mean 'what the hell is a Ruxian'? You had a ruxian partner for last year's national three legged race in the mountain home. I've even got an engraving of you coming in dead last with him if you don't believe me." Silverlocke fished a small, flat rock out of his pocket "Wait, why do you have an engraving of me at all?". Mottled Petrel took the rock, and saw that there was indeed an -engraving- of him losing last year's three legged race. In the engraving Mottled Petrel was on his hands and knees pounding the ground with a facial expression that told him that he was screaming while he was doing so. Tied to one of his legs was what looked like a bird person with both wings and arms, the bird person looked like he resented his partner. The engraving showed that all of the other racers had already finished the race while Mottled Petrel and his partner weren't even half way.
The memory was vaguely recognized by Mottled Petrel "Yeah... I remember something like this happening. I don't think I even bothered to look at my partner though. Would you mind if I kept this?" Mottled Petrel still had no idea why he had it in the first place "Sure, you can have it, I've got about nine other copies with me.". An even more questioning look from Mottled Petrel "
Whhyyyyyy?", "You don't understand how funny it was to see you break down and scream in the middle of the race, they sell these things as traveler's souvenirs now. I couldn't resist picking up a few for keep sakes.". Mottled Petrel reluctantly slipped the stone into his pocket, as if just having it on him would cause another embarrassing event.
'We don't really have much to trade, but mayb- Wait, why did one of them just fly off from their pack animal?'. One of the ruxes flew up into the air, leaving its pack skiddo on the ground, confused. That rux then flies up over the rest of the traders and directly into the depot. 'Our broker is still asleep, so I'm not sure if we'll even do much trading.'.
A ratooey caravan appears from the same direction 'fuck it, anyone who wants to trade can go trade for us'. One of the trolls has apparently also given birth 'I'll deal with these traders later, it's going to be about a year and a half before those pack animals they left behind wander here on their own anyway'.
'We don't have enough trade goods for one caravan, much less three!'
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Topic: The Resurgence of Modded Hell (Back, Still Broken, Now With Giant Butterflies) (Read 283245 times)