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Which secret containing book should we steal first?

Creatures Uncovered (Concerns the secrets of the beast warrior)
- 5 (6.5%)
Misconceptions About The Dragonlord (Concerns the secrets of dragons)
- 10 (13%)
Foundations of Blizzards (Concerns the secrets of wind and air as magical weapons)
- 6 (7.8%)
The Meaning of Dragonfire (Concerns the secrets of dragons)
- 4 (5.2%)
Book of Coagulation (Concerns the secrets of legendary cheese making)
- 42 (54.5%)
Look for more books, I want a different secret
- 1 (1.3%)
Let's just steal a slab and hope for the best
- 9 (11.7%)

Total Members Voted: 77


Pages: 1 ... 66 67 [68] 69 70 ... 100

Author Topic: The Resurgence of Modded Hell (Back, Still Broken, Now With Giant Butterflies)  (Read 280352 times)

MottledPetrel

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Re: The Pranking of Modded Hell (Mildly Easter/April Fool's day Special)
« Reply #1005 on: April 07, 2018, 02:56:23 pm »

It took them three months to make a day's travel, but they're back. And let me tell you, there are some weird results.
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MottledPetrel

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Re: The Pranking of Modded Hell (Mildly Easter/April Fool's day Special)
« Reply #1006 on: April 07, 2018, 03:44:34 pm »

A koopa stands in the doorway of a room filled with 7 other koopas in steel armor. Each of these seven armored koopas were busy practicing their skills together. They looked... surprising competent.
---
     'They're ready for a real fight, once I finish the war planning room I'm going to send them out to see if they can do some damage' Mottled Petrel thought, as he watched Koopaunknown disarm his sparring opponent without breaking a sweat.

     For days, Mugamok has locked himself in the library, scribbling away furiously at a pile of papers containing unfathomable numbers of complicated equations. He has yet to finish a single book yet, but he is at least trying to discover new useful practices. Numbers of small explosions can be heard from the library as he works to perfect his new invention, a potent explosive called 'TMT'.

     A few days later he informs Mottled Petrel that he has finally finished his first book, "I've created an improved version of the current koopa anatomy. As any of our doctor's may or may not know, I understand that most everyone here has no formal training in their jobs, there are a number of gray areas currently in the koopa anatomy. We've covered the essential organs, but there are a number of smaller organs that are simply just referred to as 'guts'. This book labors to identify some of those smaller organs and describe what their function is in keeping us koopas running optimally". Mottled Petrel took the book he was being presented, and noticed that Mugamok had whitewashed the manga he had bought and written over it "Uh, you do know that we have plenty of quires at your disposal, right?" Mottled Petrel said, as he flipped through the pages. Mugamok shrugged "I couldn't stand to see such a waste of paper laying around, but I must return to my studies now. Show this book to our doctors so that they might gain a more accurate understanding of the koopa anatomy.".

     Sanctume was busily working away at the forge when Mottled Petrel walked by. Mottled Petrel approved of this, but he didn't approve of the fact that Sanctume was working from the bottom of the job list up (I fear that the forges has been ultimately fucked somehow). Mottled Petrel didn't say anything, because Sanctume had progressed to the point of adequate weaponsmith and didn't want to question his means as long as he got results.

     "Sir, Sir, we've spotted a haxxor sneaking around the fort! We believe he might be trying to steal our artifact earring!" Silverlock exclaimed as he ran up to Mottled Petrel "Tell the fighters I want his head on a pike outside the meat tower! NOW!" Mottled Petrel called back. Even though Mottled Petrel didn't like that the artifact was useless, he LOVED earrings, and would not let anyone potentially steal such a beautiful one. Unfortunately, it was questionable as to if the military would be able to catch the scoundrel, because he was discovered a pretty considerable distance away from the fort. The military realized this to, because when they heard the news they immediately sprinted out of the barracks and up the ramp.

     In the end, the koopas were unable to catch him, so they returned to their barracks in defeat. As Mottled Petrel began pacing around the main room trying to think of what the fort's next move should be, Mugamok approached him with his next book "This, sir, is a book that classifies many of the combustible materials previously untouched by science. I intend-" Mottled Petrel held up his hand for him to stop "Now's not the time, unless you have any books on military strategy I might be able to use.". "Why, no sir, I'm a chemist not a general. Although, I'm sure you can use some of my more recent findings to create explosives that could be used for war." Mugamok said as he slowly tried to hand Mottled Petrel his most recent book. Mottled Petrel waved him off again "I need a map" he said, as he walked away to find one.

     As Mottled Petrel searched desperately for a map he noticed a small group of visitors arrive. They immediately asked if they could see the museum, 'Fuck it, I gotta act quick'. Mottled Petrel picked up a spare table and a piece of paper and carried them to the barracks.

     Upon arriving at the barracks he found that the fighters were back to training, but when he slammed the table he had with him onto the ground and began scribbling on the paper on top of it he quickly garnered their attention. He drew a rough map of the world on the piece of paper, and then called out to the army around him.



(The dark fortress in the middle of the first picture is the koopa mountainhome, it is just northeast of the hamlets at the top of the second picture)

     "Alright koopas, the hippie gloves are off. We are a stronghold of the Ward of Searing, don't you all forget, and now it's time for us to get a little payback on some of our more... irritating neighbors.". This was met with a hearty cheer, before Mottled Petrel continued "Five days north of us is a belt of cannibal settlements of the Whirling Butcher, we are technically not at war with them, but the mountainhome has been attempting to push them back for a while now. To the east of the mountainhome is the kalkir civilization of the National Charms, we are currently at war with them and are far outnumbered. That is why our mission originally was to conquer the waxy jungles, but now that we're here we have a much better angle at another one of our enemies." Mottled Petrel jabbed his finger down on the horseshoe shape above the three magenta trees "This is us, nearly five days travel from the enemies threatening the mountain home the most. We have no one encroaching on our claim currently, but not a days travel to the west is the forum empire of the Merchants of Routing. We are currently at war with them, and they seem keen on driving us out of the desert north of us, but they have no idea that we're here yet and I intend to take the fight to them. Just northeast of us in this mountain range are our allies the mole people, who are currently under attack by the forum people, and to the south near the ocean are our allies the ratooey people, also under attack. To the south are the forum people of the Raw Fury, who have not troubled us yet, but are currently contesting the Merchants of Routing for the region. Your mission is to march a day's travel to the west-south-west to the Forum hillocks of VieledSilvers, lay waste to it, and grab as much loot as you can. I must warn you though, you are going to be up against a town of nearly 75, but if you take them by surprise I'm sure you can do some considerable damage with minimum injury. To aid you in this, I'm assigning each of you a war laser-ceratosaurus to fight along side you. What do you say?" Mottled Petrel finished as he looked up from the map he was just angrily scribbling on.

     A few of the koopas present were nodding thoughtfully at what by all means appeared to be a reasonably sound analysis and response to the political climate of the region, KoopaUnknown looked like someone had just tried to explain advanced physics to him. "Zooo... Thiz plan-" "The Forum people are capitalists." Mottled Petrel cut him off, and any shadow of a doubt in KoopaUnknown's mind was instantly cast aside. An intense fire burned in his eyes, and he looked like he was ready to snap the handle of his trident with how hard he was gripping it "CUNNING CITADELZ, FRONT AND CENTER!". The fighter's instantly clicked the heels of their boots and arranged themselves into a line as KoopaUnknown paced in front of them preparing to give his monologue "Koopaz, I waz zent to diz place with only one goal: Prezerve communizm at any cozt. Theze capitaliztz, they threaten everything we are az a koopa people, and becauze of that they muzt be zlain! We are but zeven, but if  zeven koopaz on their own can forge a great ztronghold out of forbidding wildernezz, than zo can we bring the enemy to their kneez! Today, ve will march out of our home and show them juzt how zuperior our economic zyztem trully iz! When we get zere, I want you to leave no houze unplundered, no capitalizt left alive, if zomeone'z pet dog lookz like they might be hiding any meanz of production I want you to ztrangle it with itz owner'z entrailz, UNDERZAND!". Each of the soldiers in the line snapped to attention and gave the traditional three armed salute "YES SIR, FOR THE KING AND FOR MODDED HELL!" they said in unison.

     KoopaUnknown slipped on his helm and held open the door to the hallway "Now, GO, GO, GO!". The koopas ran out into the hallway, which would eventually lead them to the surface and their target. Before he left at the end of the line, KoopaUnknown snatched Mottled Petrel's map from the table "It'z been an honor zerving you zir." and then he ran out with his men.

     Rainbowdashfanboi84 decided that instead of raiding, she was going to get some sleep first and went back to the dormitory (She eventually left to catch up with them after her nap). A few seconds later, a tomtenisse poked his red conical hat through the door to look in at Mottled Petrel "Nice speech man. I'm Givel Foldedlaces, mind if I live here. I'm a bard, and I can do bard things for you if you want."

"Sure, we could use someone to ask visitors while we're here. Just, I don't know, find somewhere to sleep I guess.".

The koopas of the fort wasted no time in telling the newest resident of the wonders of our glorious king.

     The military has been gone for over two months now, and Mottled Petrel is beginning to fear that they were wiped out (I'm actually really having a tough time telling the date. It jumped from the 11th of limestone to the 9th of galena to the 24th of timber back to the 9th of galena. I think the date might also be utterly fucked as well).

     Mugamek, however, seemed utterly convinced that the time spent in battle was going to make the story even better, and was actively preparing a guide for KoopaUnknown about how to write about military conquest.

     It is now winter, and there is still no word as to how the military is fairing, but it is nearing the point where it is safe to assume that they all perished.

     Word goes up on the surface that the army had returned, to Mottled Petrel's great relief. First is all of the war laser-ceratosauruses, they show no signs of being injured other than a few small scars.

     Next is rainbowdashfanboi84 who is completely unscathed, she walks into the fort and immediately starts bragging to her husband about her kills. Next comes Lord_Lemonpie, also completely unwounded. He apparently also had the exact same kills at veiledsilvers. Next is wags, uninjured, also with killing only one plump helmet man and one forumite. Next is Nokopok, uninjured, same kills. Next is KoopaUnknown, uninjured, same kills. "KoopaUnknown, what the hell happened, you guys have been gone for months and everyone claims that they killed exactly one plump helmet man and one forumite." Mottled Petrel asked as KoopaUnknown walked through the gate "Patienze Mottled Petrel, all in due time. Wait for my report and you will know what happened.". Set, same thing. TheRedWolf has the same story, but accidentally revealed a bit of her dark past while doing so.

     "Does the death of this koopa have something to do with why you were sent to Modded Hell?" asked Mottled Petrel "I, uh, I... It wassss an accsssident okay!? I really don't want to talk about it." was all she said before she scuttled off after her squadmates.

     After reading Mugamek's book on how to write about personal military conquest, KoopaUnknown finally presents Mottled Petrel with his written report on the events that transpired during the raid.

     Mottled Petrel looked up at KoopaUnknown "Is that it? You were gone for three months and you only killed seven forumites? Did you at least steal anything?" "We stole a wonderful zeedot leather backpack." KoopaUnknown replied. Mottled Petrel looked down at the report again "Do I really have to specify that I wanted you to raze the site?" KoopaUnknown looked a little surprised "Raze? I thought you zaid raid. Oh, my bad.". Mottled Petrel facepalmed, before saying "Gather yourselves and take a break, but once you're ready I'm sending you guys back out to level someplace.". KoopaUnknown nodded, and then placed the stolen seedot leather backpack in Mottled Petrel's hands before walking out to commend his troops.
---
So, I have no idea why it took them so long to get there and why each koopa only killed one plump helmet man and one forumite, but at least no one died and we gained some military planning skill. I'm going to send them out again, this time to raid some place in the near future, does anyone know if there's a good chance that I'll be able to attack the same site again without having a real fighting force present because they expect it? If not, I'll just attack somewhere else. Also, I'm thinking about leaving the actual battle story vague in case one of you guys wants write your own take on what happened. If not, I'll include my take on it in the next update, which might be soon because I really want to see what it's like to raze, or at least pillage a site.
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auzewasright

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Re: The Agression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1007 on: April 07, 2018, 09:51:00 pm »

Attack, and keep attacking until they are exterminated. If a siege of them comes, capture as many as you can, I have... plans for the prisoners. Nothing starts off a fortress like a nice little genocide.

Edit: You spelled aggression wrong.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2018, 09:53:27 pm by auzewasright »
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".

MottledPetrel

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Re: The Aggression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1008 on: April 07, 2018, 09:54:43 pm »

As much as people like being called on their spelling, thank you for catching that.
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MCreeper

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Re: The Pranking of Modded Hell (Mildly Easter/April Fool's day Special)
« Reply #1009 on: April 08, 2018, 06:39:27 am »

I'm actually really having a tough time telling the date. It jumped from the 11th of limestone to the 9th of galena to the 24th of timber back to the 9th of galena. I think the date might also be utterly fucked as well.
Well, this is probably an ultimate bug of this fort, unless it's as "common" as vermin civilizations.  :D
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ZM5

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Re: The Pranking of Modded Hell (Mildly Easter/April Fool's day Special)
« Reply #1010 on: April 08, 2018, 07:02:41 am »

I'm actually really having a tough time telling the date. It jumped from the 11th of limestone to the 9th of galena to the 24th of timber back to the 9th of galena. I think the date might also be utterly fucked as well.
Well, this is probably an ultimate bug of this fort, unless it's as "common" as vermin civilizations.  :D
I guess Modded Hell is in a deteroriating universe. Or its in some kind of time abyss where nothing makes sense, which would also explain all the weird shit going on.

scourge728

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Re: The Pranking of Modded Hell (Mildly Easter/April Fool's day Special)
« Reply #1011 on: April 08, 2018, 08:08:24 am »

I guess Modded Hell is in a deteroriating universe.
And you discovered my headcanon/roleplay stuff/whatever

MottledPetrel

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Re: The Aggression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1012 on: April 08, 2018, 02:51:09 pm »

It amazes me how many hardcoded things I've accidentally broken and how good the game is still running (22 frames with upwards of 200 tamed animals is pretty good). One crash is pretty good for the complete destruction of time. Speaking of which, time kinda restabilized when winter started, which is ironically when the invading squad decided that they had done enough partying and bought a backpack and said that they invaded the place. Next, I think I'm going to invade the goombas, they're usually complete pushovers.

I think raiding might be broken, there's no option to raze that I can see.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2018, 05:00:47 pm by MottledPetrel »
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MoonyTheHuman

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Re: The Aggression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1013 on: April 08, 2018, 05:11:35 pm »

I wonder if toady is going to look at just how broken we've made the game. Some fixes for some of this would be welcome lol

MottledPetrel

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Re: The Aggression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1014 on: April 08, 2018, 05:12:46 pm »

I'd love to see what he'd think of it if someone sent him a save, because at this point we're revealing a lot of potential bugs (The [d]etails button is replaced with [?] for details, which just brings me to the in game guide).
« Last Edit: April 08, 2018, 05:22:55 pm by MottledPetrel »
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MottledPetrel

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Re: The Aggression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1015 on: April 08, 2018, 08:14:00 pm »

Above a fledgling koopa fort stands the beginning of a tall meat tower. At the top of it a winged koopa is perched at the top of an unfinished wall.
---

'God damn it Asin, not again' "Build a stairway up to him I guess, that guy's a loose cannon so there's no telling if he's actually going to come down or not." Mottled Petrel said, as he looked up at Asin on the wall. On his way into the fort he almost trips and is engulfed by the literal tidal wave of helmet snakes and capnaps that were now all over the fort. 'I should really have some of these killed, but if anyone ever tries to invade they'll never get past them'.

     'Ohhhh... This is going to be awkward' "Heeeey, welcome to Modded Hell. What brings you here?" Mottled Petrel asked the forumite visitor, who seemed to have a surprising low amount of vengeance in his eyes. "Just thought I'd check the place out a little, it seems like a nice pitstop on my journey to find who just killed my parents in the last raid on my home town" the forumite said as he took the place in "nice tavern you got, by the way.".

     Luckily, Nuku (stoneworker Nuku) dropped the boulder he was holding and ran across the room and defused the situation. Scourge was less than happy to find that it was his foot that was between that boulder and the floor.

     To further the foot problem, the ninji expidition leader was again being hauled to the hospital with two swollen feet. This time, however, the contagion responsible for it was identified by Mugamek.

     Nuku claimed a Craftskoopa's workshop, unfortunately, it happened to be the one outside and furthest from any potential resources he might need. 'I swear, if it's another earring I'm selling it' Mottled Petrel thought, shaking his head. In the meantime, Mottled Petrel had to deal with a promise he had made a while ago. "You're now the chief wizard Auze, your quarters are under construction and I want you to charge gems when you get a chance for koopa magic. Please, try not to hurt people too bad if you need to discipline them." Mottled Petrel said to Auze, who looked like he had forgotten all about the fact that he was promised that position "Oh, uh, alright. Do you have any cool magikoopa robes I could have?" "I'll put in an order for 'cool magikoopa robes' next time the caravan arrives.".

     Right across the hallway was going to be Mottled Petrel's quarters, so he didn't really mind that he had to make Auze his own quarters. While he was at it, Mottled Petrel began planning out the layout of the rest of the personal quarters.

     Trying (and succeeding) to take advantage of the recent increase of government power in Modded Hell, Eris decided she was going to run for mayor. No one ran against her, even though her main campaign point was 'to promote discord and strife for all of the denizens of Modded Hell'. "I want these plans enacted immediately, this ship is going to run much tighter than it was now that I'm in charge. I also want a mayoral room for me and my husband." Eris said, as she handed a small mountain of papers with a number of plans on them. If Mottled Petrel had bothered to look at any of them, he would have seen that these plans were not at all in the favor of the people of Modded Hell. "I'll make you a room and office, and I'm about to send the army out pillaging. Is that good enough for you?" Mottled Petrel said, as he looked for a place to put down the papers in his hands. "As long as we get to phase one of my plan after that!" Eris said, with one of her scary grins.

     Mottled Petrel dropped a big barrel of eggs in front of one of the recent migrants "I want you to cook us some meals, preferably egg based", the migrant looked a little confused "Do you want me to just fry them?".

     "You can do that!?" Mottled Petrel asked incredulously "Uhh, yeah, the king's cooks figured that out like last year." "Oh, well yes, fry us a lot of eggs.".

     After weeks of hauling things up to the surface, Nuku finally starts the construction of something that involves 3 jet boulders, 1 gold bar, and a whole pile of broken dinosaur bones.

     In his almost finished office Mottled Petrel waited for the fighters that he had called in for a meeting. They slowly filed into his office and stand in a line with KoopaUnknown at the front. On Mottled Petrel's desk is a similarly poorly drawn map to the one he had last time. "It's time for your second outing koopas, this ti-"

     Another tomtenisse pokes his head in through the door "Hey, you guys mind if I live here?-" "Yes, yes, just leave us alone so I can give these guys their mission.". "I'm a poet by the way" the tomtenisse said before he left to go find his fellow tomtenisse resident. Mottled Petrel shook his head "Anyway... On our continued fight against the Merchants of Routing I have our next step in the plan. They will likely be expecting us to attack one of the closer targets again, but three days to the west of here is a hillock with only a population of 40, easy pickings. I want you to march to the mostly undefended town of Relievedgirder and lay waste to it. And I'm telling you specifically this time, RAZE IT!  Bring back as much as you can carry, be it riches, slaves, I don't care, just make it bloody." (I don't actually have the option to raze or pillage, only raid. So we'll see how this goes).

     The koopas looked at each other "Alright" KoopaUnknown finally said, as he took the map and turned to leave. "And try not to make it take 3 months this time!" Mottled Petrel called behind them as they left. To celebrate the occasion, Auze mandates the construction of 2 figurines. It would appear that he might be trying to reenact the last battle with them, and needed more figurines for it.



     Speaking of figurines, Nuku reveals the secret artifact she was making to be a figurine of koopas. It was a miniature version of the ENTIRETY of the historic attack of the Bloody Blankets, which was pretty impressive considering how much detail was present. "I engraved it" was all she said when she gave it to Mottled Petrel "Uh, alright, I'll make a pedestal for it and put it in the museum. Now, get to engraving if you're such a good engraver.".
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stingpie

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Re: The Aggression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1016 on: April 09, 2018, 07:24:27 pm »

A golden, dinosaur, jet figurine of koopas murdering capitalists? This is definitely going in the museum.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 09, 2018, 07:31:44 pm by stingpie »
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The dwarven atom is made of !!TURKEY GOBLER!! remains

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MottledPetrel

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Re: The Aggression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1017 on: April 09, 2018, 07:53:17 pm »

That would make a truly glorious artwork, I'd offer a nice forgotten beast bone instrument with a side of fried eggs to see it.
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auzewasright

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Re: The Aggression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1018 on: April 09, 2018, 08:09:56 pm »

Journal of Auze
Finally got assigned to the position, I have some interesting new torture and punishment methods. There are some strange things going on with the universe, and I will document some causes I think there are later.

OOC: Trying to figure out a danger room style torture facility for unsuspecting victims dangerous criminals.
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".

bloop_bleep

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Re: The Aggression of Modded Hell (Beginning of Off-site Raids)
« Reply #1019 on: April 09, 2018, 09:50:12 pm »

That would make a truly glorious artwork, I'd offer a nice forgotten beast bone instrument with a side of fried eggs to see it.
I wonder if it is possible to add a placeholder creature into the raws with a plural name of "communism" so this can happen....
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