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Author Topic: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.  (Read 4408 times)

nenjin

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2017, 11:17:54 am »

Huitzilopochtli be with you.
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
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Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
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How will I cheese now assholes?
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Always spaghetti, never forghetti

Gornova

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #16 on: February 20, 2018, 05:13:42 am »

my advice is to go out. Walk, run, keep moving. Meet people. Don't care too much on every people you meet, but try again and again, you will find someone to share thoughts, experiences and so on. Live is hard, but you can do it (btw: I'm 36 year old.. you have so much time in front of you, do what do you want, but don't limit yourself too much!)
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Detoxicated

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #17 on: February 20, 2018, 02:32:57 pm »

Just keep up your good work. You seem to be quite a decent person so that's nice. Keep on going.
Also try the game Go.
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Moddan

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2018, 05:38:12 am »

I wish I could sacrifice someone's heart to the sun god in order to be free of aspergers
Have you tried?

You never know until you try.
I have never tried, maybe I should.

Or just join the mainstream cult.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Kagus

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #19 on: March 02, 2018, 05:45:35 pm »

Little aside, but I recently found a fairly effective method of getting rid of fruit flies (which always seem to just *EXIST* even when you're sure you've removed anything they could be breeding on).

Take a small bowl, pour some red wine into it (or, given that you're 13, balsamic vinegar) and seal the top of the bowl with plastic wrap. Then poke a few small holes in the plastic, and set it out somewhere the flies can easily get to.

For whatever reason, fruit flies are massively attracted to red wine. They'll track the source of the smell and manage to find their way inside through the holes, but once inside they're not nearly as good at getting back out again. Eventually they fall into the fluid and drown.

We had a pretty big problem with fruit flies for some time here, but using the bowl trick managed to knock out the majority within a couple days, and eliminated them completely within a week.

Babylon

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #20 on: March 02, 2018, 06:22:51 pm »

School matters way less than your teachers want you to think.  It depends on what you want to do with your life, of course, and good grades are vital for some careers, but not most.  Not saying you shouldn't do well, just letting you know that if you do mess up it's not only not the end of your life it probably wont make any difference at all in your adult life.
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nenjin

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #21 on: March 02, 2018, 08:16:29 pm »

School matters way less than your teachers want you to think.  It depends on what you want to do with your life, of course, and good grades are vital for some careers, but not most.  Not saying you shouldn't do well, just letting you know that if you do mess up it's not only not the end of your life it probably wont make any difference at all in your adult life.

I'm going to disagree with this.

You get out of school what you put in to it. Doesn't matter if it's highschool or college.

If you treat school like it ultimately doesn't matter, you will get the bare minimum out of it which will earn you fuck all in the real world. Especially when it comes to college. There are dozens of opportunities in college that can change your life, if you are willing to reach out to seize them.

My biggest regret with college is the apathy with which I approached it, just so I could get out. I got my degree, and it did me no good other than proving I had the discipline to graduate. There are many, many opportunities I ignored because I thought they were beneath me/what I didn't want to do. School is about your attitude and your willingness to try things. Acting like there's nothing worth trying except your minimum course work to graduate is a recipe for feeling like you wasted your time and money when it's all over.

Is it worth stressing out over and tearing yourself apart? No. Does that mean you should dismiss it like it doesn't really matter in the end? No. That would be stupid and would beg the question why you would even try at all.
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

Coffeespoons

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #22 on: March 05, 2018, 06:31:33 am »

I'm afraid I'm very ignorant about your particular issues but perhaps its worth mentioning from an outside perspective that the little hygiene things are important for the simple reason that they are particularly obvious to the outside world in a prominent way.  If you get to the stage where you have friends over to your room for example, basic hygiene matters to a certain degree (I'm not talking about the odd unwashed bit of clothing on the floor - that's standard for young people of your age).  Basic hygiene also stops you standing out from the crowd - you don't want to be the only guy who doesn't wear deodorant. In terms of other compulsive behaviours you want to try and wean yourself off them because, frankly, most of the ways we stand out at school are not good unless you're a sporting superstar. 

Most people find that life gets a little easier as you get older.  I don't want to patronise you but stuff that seems terribly important does have a habit of kinda fading away. 

We all have our touchstones that help anchor us and reassure us.  For me listening to music perhaps stood in the place of certain other compulsive behaviours.  The Mountain Goats, or Bowie for my generation speak to people with difference in a profound way.  Who knows you might find some comfort there?

Anyhoo, best wishes.
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Yami

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2018, 01:38:01 am »

Hey there.  I know I'm a bit late to the party, but I haven't been on these forums in ages.  Anyways, this subject is something I felt the need to chime in on since there hasn't been any good long term advice that'd work for me.

So, I'm 34, male, and was diagnoses with ADHD waay back when.  I used to be drugged to the gills on the maximum legal dose of Ritalin every day just to make it through the week until I went to college when I met a great group of friends and eventually quit my medications and learned to deal.  So far I've managed through life finding other means than medication.  What worked for me, and may or may not work for you was and still is, forming habits and getting set schedules going.  It's funny, they always used to try and get me to use calendars and scheduling more even when I was seeing folk about it, and even now I don't really.  I just have a hard time not living in the moment.  But it's just habit now, and whilst habits can be hard to form, they're just as hard to break.

Another thing is making promises to myself, cuz I tend to keep those.  Things like, 'okay, I'm not happy with this job, but it's a paycheck, and job hunting is annoying and I don't wanna do it.'  Well then, my motorcycle broke down, and I made a promise, 'okay, can't get it repair until I get a better job.  Stuck with the car till then.'  Still took me awhile, and I noticed I didn't do nearly as much job hunting during the winter as I did the spring and summer, but it eventually worked.  I'd suggest experimenting.  Find a think you like, but can live without and use it as a carrot for yourself.  'If I get this done, I can do this.'  Find what works best for you, and tweak until you're satisfied.

So, habits!  For me, when I get home I drop off my backpack, hang up my cloak and it's relaxing time.  I'm home from work and it's time to just make myself something to eat and stop worrying.  And once I do that, it's soo hard to get off that track and clean up or do bills or homework.  I'm relaxed, and it's time to unwind and I'm just not in the mood to do busywork.  So I got into the habit of leaving my computer off on mondays and fridays till 'chores' are done.  On mondays it's time to clean up, make sure I've taken out the trash, dirty clothes all picked up, no dishes left in my room, vacuuming if need it (though alot less since my cat's gone.) You know, general maintenance on monday after a good weekend when I've still got the patience and the drive, and since it's right when I get home, I can still kinda keep that workday work ethic going.  Then come Fridays and I know I can stay up all night gaming, and I'll have a Lan party or a roleplaying session to look forwards to, so I deal with the bills and the and plan taking my car in, or doctor's visit or other, long term planning stuff, since I've the weekend to look forward to.

Then, in between, I try an minimize the needed clean up during the week and just unwind.  You know, toss my laundry in the hamper on the way to the shower, clean clothes into my clean close stack on my dresser if I'm not putting em away immediately.  And if theres not room on the stack, I gotta actually open drawers.  Keep a trash bin by the computer so it's easy to clean up, dirty dishes have their own dirty dish space and if I can't stack em right there, then I've gotta clear the space.  Small rules I abide by that gives just enough structure to the mess that is my space that makes it efficient, easy to maintain and clean to minimize worry and stress.

Think of it like trying to minimize the amount of hauling needed in a fortress.  Sure a bit of extra time to set up, but for a bigger pay out over time.  Just figure out how to make it easy to get what chores and other necessities outta the way so you can get back to unwinding.  If you need to clean up, don't try an do it all at once.  Just decide you need a dirty dish space near your computer, and clear that.  Then you've a place to put things whilst clearing another space for something else.  Small sections, maybe one day a week.  Forts aren't built inna day, nor should one tackle a great restructuring all at once.

Now, school.  Alright, here's my thoughts, and this coming from someone who choose to double major an get a minor in college.  (Took on a big workload.)  If your stressing out or getting stuck on one thing, switch.  Don't, like, take a break to go gaming, cuz that's a downward spiral towards fun, but switch from one subject to another and let your subconscious do some work for ya.  I once spent 19 hours studying for tests, doing finals and finishing up papers, and none of it was more'n one hour on a subject at a time.  When you're not actively thinking about something it gives my mind at least, time to compile and sort through all the data, getting it cleaned up for me so I can come back and look at it fresh.  Maybe if you've a book report or something do the reading, then walk the dogs and then comeback to write it after you've had time to digest it.

Approach your week like a strategy or tactical resource allocation problem.  How much time is spent cleaning?  How can you minimize that?  How much time doing homework?  Can you mix the cleaning and homework to give yourself more free time?  (i.e ponder problems whilst doing dishes or something.)  Do you have trouble concentrating at home whilest doing homework, if so can you do it elsewhere, like at a library.  (I was soo easy to distract I couldn't get any work done if anyone else was in the house.)

~Yami
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Imic

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2018, 07:10:56 am »

All you need to do is to go to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, then go down again, because it's actually Keeper Hill in Ireland that you want. At the top, you'll find an old man praying to god. Tell him that the lamp is lighted. He will give you directions to a lake that's bigger on the inside, but smaller on the outside. You are to ignore these directions up until you can see the lake, and go north. Once you've reached slightly south of your original location, you'll find a town with a bridge going over the lake. If it is the first or third sunday in the month, wait until nightfall to go across. When you are across, you must go back over it again, and half way across, you will find the old man from Keeper hill. He will tell you to go the the rock of the River Jordan. He will then give you a picture of a large house. You must find this house, take apthe stone above the front door, take it home, put it into your bath, and wash yourself fifteen times. Once you have washed fifteen times in the water, it should be three days since you crossed the bridge of the Killed Kenny. You must now take the stone out of the water, but only once the fourth day has passed, and you will find a message engraved on it's side. Put it into google translate, and it should say
Quote from: The message of the stone of the river Jordan
Confusiun iz the best medecine.
You must take the grammatical errors, and it will lead you to the place where you shall be finally cured of all your woes.
Or you'll just get pissed at me for giving you bullshit advice.
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