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Author Topic: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.  (Read 2294 times)

MoonyTheHuman

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I am stressed beyond belief, and I don't know why.

So, you know what, I'm going to dump here, and hope for some help. Maybe this will make me feel a little better; and maybe I can get some advice.

I'm a 13 year old in 8th grade, Male, diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's syndrome (Thanks, it made writing this 10x harder), 9 classes a day (Study Hall, Math, History, Agriculture, Science, Physical Education, Advisory (Basically a second study hall, but with anti-bullying promotional material inbetween), Robotics, Reading) each one about 30~ minutes. I'm stuck under mountains of work due to my stress (leading to trouble thinking, wandering of mind to stressful topics, loss of materials, absentmindedness, etc.), and am struggling to keep up (Biggest contenders are History and Reading when it comes to workload). I enjoy programming, scrapping what little skeleton i have over and over again (again, likely thanks to Asperger's syndrome). At home, we recently went through a divorce (Luckily, not too stressful, my dad was a bigger cause of stress than the divorce itself!), and are taking care of 5 animals (3 large hunting dogs, 2 male, 1 female (their mother), and 2 cats that don't like eachother that much) at once. My mother is currently struggling to support the family of 5. I have 3 siblings, 1 brother, 2 sisters (one is absurdly rude, and listens to NOONE without throwing a fit first. Actively annoys everyone intentionally). In terms of peers, I am generally fairly silent in person, avoiding others when I can. Generally, people like to spread rumors about me due to my adeptness with a computer (I use Arch Linux mostly, and they always claim I'm a hacker at the sight of a terminal, and then never stop). Personally, I think I'm more mature than the other kids in my grade. Teachers seem to expect the absolute best out of me most of the time in terms of work, generally expecting 90s to 100s.
Sanitation is a bigger issue than it should be for me; there is rotting food in my bedroom, accompanied by fruitflies, that I have not cleaned up; I've vowed COUNTLESS times to be better about sanitation, but I can never manage it. I have a issue with chewing on plastic/rubber, and I've never been able to resist the temptation to not do it. Bay12, IRC, and Discord have become my only form of releasing stress, letting me just pretend nothing is wrong, and be seen as a average person.
I take medicine (daily) to help me focus, but it has the rather unfortunate side effect of annihilating my appetite. As such, I'm also worried about not eating enough, but simply trying to eat a sandwich makes me feel like I'm overeating.

Expect the rant to expand, but i DID predict right. I feel a bit better. Any and all help is not just appreciated, I will give free hugs for it.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2017, 01:42:30 pm by MoonyTheHuman »
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Egan_BW

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2017, 02:09:26 pm »

I'm not sure if I can provide much actually useful advise, but I am also diagnosed with aspergers syndrome and was very stressed around that time in my life, so I think I can understand how you feel. I think around 13 is where a lot of people start running into horrible stress; it's just kinda a shitty time in general. Just know that a lot of things will get better, and that I (and a lot of other people here, I think) are rooting for you.

...Can I have that hug now?
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MoonyTheHuman

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2017, 02:15:09 pm »

hug

Egan_BW

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2017, 02:16:16 pm »

Yay! <3
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MoonyTheHuman

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2017, 02:18:32 pm »

Your free hug trial is over. Please open lootboxes until you get a HUG PASS. Each lootbox costs $1

Egan_BW

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2017, 02:20:58 pm »

'Kay.

*Starts pirating hugs.*
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MoonyTheHuman

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2017, 02:22:09 pm »

'Kay.

*Starts pirating hugs.*
Your Origin account has been canceled. You are no longer eligible to buy EA hugs.

wierd

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2017, 02:53:42 pm »

I dont need your nasty origin account, I am a hacker biznatch.

(whips out memory editing toolkit, prods game process, analyzes game protocol, and runs pirate server. Enjoys free hugs whenever.)

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nenjin

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2017, 07:11:24 pm »

Get your living space in order. Not not after dinner, not tomorrow, not next week. When you're done reading this post.

Every night before you go to bed, scan your bedroom for wrappers and dishes. You don't go to bed until they're out of your room.

Make some sacrifices willingly in order to get caught up. Anxiety often comes from the things we know we have to do but we haven't internally committed to doing. Set aside your hobbies for a week, and maybe even the forums, and just get through it. Get to a more reasonable place. ADHD is a handicap when it comes to homework, I get it. But if you're being medicated for it the only other recourse you have is to buckle down.

You have to eat, and here's why. Health yes, brain function yes. But really the biggest thing you're probably suffering from is low blood sugar, which is throwing you in to emotional spirals and making everything seem harder and more frustrating than it actually is. You can't rely on sugar to get your blood sugar up either; it spikes too fast and doesn't last as long. Instead of trying to make food, assemble a plate of finger foods. A piece of bread, some carrots. Peanuts. Some meat. Pick at it as you do your homework. Take a 20 minute break every couple hours just to unwind, get up. Stay off the internet or you'll lose the rest of your day on it.

When you've gone a week just focusing on the shit you need to get handled, then throttle back, take some you time, enjoy the breathing space you created for yourself. Your free time negotiable throughout life. Your grades are not.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2017, 08:08:30 pm by nenjin »
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MoonyTheHuman

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2017, 07:35:00 pm »

Get your living space in order. Not not after dinner, not tomorrow, not next week. When you're done reading this post.

Every night before you go to bed, scan your bedroom for wrappers and dishes. You don't go to bed until they're out of your room.

Make some sacrifices willingly in order to get caught up. Anxiety often comes from the things we know we have to do but we haven't internally committed to doing. Set aside your hobbies for a week, and maybe even the forums, and just get through it. Get to a more reasonable place. ADHD is a handicap when it comes to homework, I get it. But if you're being medicated for it the only other recourse you have is to buckle down.

You have to eat, and here's why. Health yes, brain function yes. But really the biggest thing you're probably suffering from is low blood sugar, which is throwing you in to emotional spirals and making everything seem harder and more frustrating than it actually is. You can't rely on sugar to get your blood sugar up either; it spikes too cast and doesn't last as long. Instead of trying to make food, assemble a plate of finger foods. A piece of bread, some carrots. Peanuts. Some meat. Pick at it as you do your homework. Take a 20 minute break every couple hours just to unwind, get up. Stay off the internet or you'll lose the rest of your day on it.

When you've gone a week just focusing on the shit you need to get handled, then throttle back, take some you time, enjoy the breathing space you created for yourself. Your free time negotiable throughout life. Your grades are not.
Will do. Thank you. Staying off the internet during doing homework will be a small problem, but i'll think of something (Most of my homework is bound to my school's network via Google Classroom)
I owe this place.

Poliphorum

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2017, 02:17:23 pm »

Not sure if you'll ever see this, Moony, but even if you don't it might help some other people.

A core feature of autism spectrum disorders like Asperger's is crippled executive function. Executive functions are the processes in your brain that control planning, action, impulse control, focusing, multi-tasking, and switching focus. People with ADHD and ASD feature deficits of these functions, and it's also a feature of many other mental disorders, such as major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.

What this means, is, in simple terms, you have trouble functioning as well as other people because you are playing life on Hardcore difficulty, not because you are lazy. You have trouble keeping your room clean not because you don't want to keep it clean but because 99 times out of 100, where a normal person would have the ability to get up and clean their room, your brain won't work. You are extremely stressed for similar reasons; autism spectrum disorders basically means you're going to be stressed all the time.

That doesn't mean you get to give up, though. Our society isn't structured to accommodate you and meet your needs, but that doesn't mean that you can't meet them yourself. Know that you're going to have trouble keeping your room clean of food, and stop bringing food in it. In school, have your parents advocate for a individualized education plan (IEP) to decrease your workload and make your learning environment better for you. Given that you have diagnosed Asperger's, this shouldn't be difficult to attain.

You're going to have to assess your specific needs and develop workarounds for a lot of parts of daily life that other people take for granted. With practice and dedication, many people with autism spectrum disorder thrive and are wildly successful, despite the difficulties we face. Don't be discouraged.

Since you are still young, your brain is still changing and there are ways in which you can improve your executive function for the long term. It's best to ask your psychiatrist or doctor about how to do that.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2017, 01:21:00 pm »


Make some sacrifices willingly in order to get caught up.

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deathpunch578

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2017, 01:37:11 pm »


Make some sacrifices willingly in order to get caught up.


I wish I could sacrifice someone's heart to the sun god in order to be free of aspergers
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Maximum Spin

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2017, 07:30:39 pm »

I wish I could sacrifice someone's heart to the sun god in order to be free of aspergers
Have you tried?

You never know until you try.
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deathpunch578

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Re: I just need help. I don't know anymore. Dumping to release stress.
« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2017, 09:53:19 pm »

I wish I could sacrifice someone's heart to the sun god in order to be free of aspergers
Have you tried?

You never know until you try.
I have never tried, maybe I should.
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Someone hands you a basketful of Jeses.
Cheerful with a side of wink wink nudge nudge I bet this guy's spine would look great mounted on my wall.
You ever get so mad you fuck a donkey?
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