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Author Topic: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen  (Read 1068 times)

BionicMeatloaf

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TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« on: November 26, 2017, 02:01:00 am »

So I had a tavern set up and a pretty successful fortress so far. There were a few elves in my tavern singing and reading poetry. I was ok with em since they weren't complaining about trees or some shit. Suddenly a petition shows up for them asking to become citizens. I shrugged and went 'sure why not? Fuck it, I could always feed em to the fort's pet weregoat' and accepted.

I look at my citizens list and my jaw dropped to the fucking floor. Of the troupe that was mainly consisting of Elven poets, there was a single Goblin Dancer. And now she is a citizen of of my fort.

I have never been so fascinated in a random NPC until now. Her name is Ozud Spidergrasped. She has typical goblin values and personality, but is a complete oxymoron. She has a strong sense of duty, finds art offensive and is slightly disgusted by eloquent speakers (whY THe fUcK DId shE jOIn a POetrY TroUpE TheN?!?) and dreams of someday ruling the world.

Despite her profession being a dancer, she is VERY clumsy (her agility is 4. FOUR)

She carries around a book called "The Common Practice" which is a 28 page essay about her leaving her former job as a ranger to become a dancer

I want to know if I can find a way to put her to work. If I can find a way to raise her stats then she is my project now.
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Ultimuh

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2017, 05:27:53 am »

She might be a spy, so at least keep a close eye on her. Just in case.
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Shonai_Dweller

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2017, 05:40:55 am »

She might be a spy, so at least keep a close eye on her. Just in case.
But would she be spying on the performance troupe, or your fortress?
I wonder if spies think that far ahead?
"I'll throw away my clothes and pass myself off as an amateur dancer with this troupe for a few years so I can gain easy access to Dwarf Fortresses and their precious artifacts.. "
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BionicMeatloaf

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2017, 06:01:35 am »

Just read on the wiki that apparently I have to wait about 2 years until I make make her do anything. eh.

Also if she were a spy I got a a reasonably sized military that can take care of that
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Shonai_Dweller

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2017, 06:11:43 am »

Just read on the wiki that apparently I have to wait about 2 years until I make make her do anything. eh.

Also if she were a spy I got a a reasonably sized military that can take care of that
You know spies don't actually do anything bad, right? Unless you count a higher chance of sieges appearing as a bad thing...

Oh, well, I guess my fake monster slayers count. They stood by laughing while giant olms and trolls wandered through a cavern breach into my fortress. That was funny. Luckily a real monster slayer turned up to save the day.
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BionicMeatloaf

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2017, 01:33:57 pm »

If that's the case then I don't mind at all. BRING EM ON!
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Bauta

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2017, 02:08:15 pm »

I try to get thief knifes for my goblin citicens, then i start mudering visitors that i dislike
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BionicMeatloaf

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2017, 07:11:24 pm »

I was thinking of making the rest of those filthy elves into cannon fodder recruits once they become true citizens

If they die, oh well. If they survive, then I get immortal super soldiers. Win/win
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IT 000

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2017, 10:49:58 pm »

I was thinking of making the rest of those filthy elves into cannon fodder recruits once they become true citizens

If they die, oh well. If they survive, then I get immortal super soldiers. Win/win

make them prove themselves gladiator style against wild animals.
That would be a true elf hell.
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KittyTac

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2017, 10:52:53 pm »

I was thinking of making the rest of those filthy elves into cannon fodder recruits once they become true citizens

If they die, oh well. If they survive, then I get immortal super soldiers. Win/win

make them prove themselves gladiator style against wild animals.
That would be a true elf hell.

Wouldn't the animals refuse to fight due to elves having that tag?
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BionicMeatloaf

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #10 on: December 01, 2017, 03:46:13 am »

I was thinking of making the rest of those filthy elves into cannon fodder recruits once they become true citizens

If they die, oh well. If they survive, then I get immortal super soldiers. Win/win

make them prove themselves gladiator style against wild animals.
That would be a true elf hell.

No, true elf hell would be forcing them to be woodcutters, carpenters, and woodcrafters
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Miuramir

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2017, 02:20:32 am »

... Her name is Ozud Spidergrasped. She has typical goblin values and personality, but is a complete oxymoron. She has a strong sense of duty, finds art offensive and is slightly disgusted by eloquent speakers (whY THe fUcK DId shE jOIn a POetrY TroUpE TheN?!?) and dreams of someday ruling the world.

Despite her profession being a dancer, she is VERY clumsy (her agility is 4. FOUR)

She carries around a book called "The Common Practice" which is a 28 page essay about her leaving her former job as a ranger to become a dancer

You've got the material for a YA novel right there already.  Family and society dismisses her dreams, makes her train as a ranger despite being bad at it.  Her only hope to escape is a chance meeting with an elf poetry troupe, and she has to master her disgust and pretend to fit in until she can get to someplace better.  She keeps a diary of her experiences to remind herself of how horrible her life was, even though it's not going exactly well now.  When she finally manages to cajole the troop into asking for citizenship at the dwarfhold they're staying at, she will be grateful and dutiful for her chance to finally shine.  No dwarf will dismiss her plans to RULE THE WORLD through the power of dance!  As soon as she can manage to, you know, not trip over her own extremities so often. 
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PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2017, 02:32:41 am »

I love it when we can get these little stories out of DF's procedurally-generated chaos.
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IT 000

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Re: TLDR I now have a goblin citizen
« Reply #13 on: December 07, 2017, 10:28:16 am »

I was thinking of making the rest of those filthy elves into cannon fodder recruits once they become true citizens

If they die, oh well. If they survive, then I get immortal super soldiers. Win/win

make them prove themselves gladiator style against wild animals.
That would be a true elf hell.

Wouldn't the animals refuse to fight due to elves having that tag?

Well only one way to find out I suppose...
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