...find the missile. After a short while he finds the missile next to a pond, sobbing. "Oh I do not know if I should marry the blunt. He's so fresh and nice, but I have to think of the future."
Jeremy decides that it is time for him to do something about this situation so he...
So I start with a small passage and the next person writes the next passage and so on. Maybe each lets his or her passage end in an open sentence to be finished by the next.
As Jeremy Dudenheimer stepped into the cold early spring sun he realized something. He has been living his live rather unfulfilled. This saddened Jeremy deeply, so he went back inside to fetch him a nice cup of coffee. The coffee was warm and this gave him hope that he would do something great today. As he took a nice little sip from his porcelain cup his phone began ringing and on the other side he heard a voice he seemed to recognize. "Hey, you gotta help me I am in trouble. Please, "Do a dance on the spot or I'll explode!" Jeremy Dudenheimer dropped the phone in fright. He dropped everything and started a feeble attempt to some kind of dance, hopping it was enough to help the poor person. Flailing his limbs around he accidentally knocks the vase out of a passing man. He stumbles back and glares at you. His van, parallel parked on the road, says "FREE CANDY". This was a deliberate ploy to throw people off the scent, because the van was actually full of Explosives! A team of swat was pulling up, so Jeremy ran to the van and climbed into it. He Was driven away as the man exploded on the other side of the phone. He screams through the phone "WHY DID YOU STOP DANCIN- *explodes in loud wet blast*" Shaken, Jeremy slowly put down the phone in shock as he glanced over the person in the driver's seat, who sensed his glance and tipped his tophat in somber silence, revealing an animal-like grace the likes of which Jeremy had never seen before. Wait, it's an actual bear. What's a bear doing in a van?
"Tis a sad day for all of us my friend," the bear intones and Pulls out a pipe, smoking ŽA very fine weed. Jeremy then asks whoever the hell the bears is. The bear finally implores I am God, Jeremy," the bear says. Jeremy of course asks "T-Then why are you a talking bear?!" to which the bear responds "Didn't you know? God is actually a magical old-timey talking bear with a Southern accent. You would've known this if you stayed in Catholic school, Jeremy." The bear flashes a quick judgmental look at Jeremy and begins speaking again. "Come with me to fulfill your sacred duty." He takes another puff at the pipe and waves his hand. The car closes and Jeremy's seatbelt closes on its own. The car begins driving on its own. They pass a marvelous Tower, a tower of Glass and Technomusic. as over 50,000 squatters make their lives in the tower of glass, connected through ports in their nects and hands to the Matrix. These thousands of junkies have no lives, nothing ot live for, and the dystopian vibes given off by the utterly offness of such a creation. Men, woman, and even the elderly are all a part of the great societal sham that is the Tower of Glass.
The bear turns back, his words more slurring then usual after the twenty minute drive, He was wheezing, the bears face was tinged red from slight exhaustion.
"We're gonna hit the makers of the Tower of Glass, and to do that, they need to assemble a team of mercenaries. Illegal, Freelancer Mercenaries.
They passed by a drug addict and picked up him, on their way to pick up the real team, consisting of the famed Toronto Blue Jays. They are clad in their baseball attire, wielding spiked baseball bats. "Whoa!" Jeremy exclaimed, "Why are the Toronto Blue Jays our mercenary team?"
God snorted and, in his slurred bear voice, explained "They're not the crack team themselves. They're our main army. A Holy Army of Canadian baseball players. Our actual main team is right beyond that door, filled with some of the most notorious characters of both fiction and reality." After explaining, God strolled towards the door and flung it open, instantly revealing a cube farm full of bureaucrats on break. Sensing the door opening, they have all scrambled silently back into position, resulting in no sign of any potential frustration-induced explosive energy. "These are just the individuals we need," the bear intones. "The villainous makers of the Tower of Glass will quickly be overwhelmed by a passive-agressive explosion consisting chiefly of mountains of conflicting submitted paperwork forms, requesting one thing, but meaning another!"
the bear points finger-guns at the bureaucrats, accidentally letting loose a pair of fireballs in the equivalent of a high explosive tank round, promptly killing at least three individuals.
one of the bureaucrats pulls out a stamp, and stamps a piece of paperwork and looks towards the two belligerents: Jeremy and the God-Bear. The Bureaucrats says "Are you two high? I will call security if you don't explain yourselves." His lifeless grey skin hangs off his face in long folds, and his beady black eyes stares, like buttons sewn to a doll.
Elsewhere, a jet streaks high in the air, its AI-controlled targeting systems slowly, perfectly, masterfully obtaining a missile lock.
The Bear squints, and says "Hmm, The devil must have something to do with this. He is the only one who can blurr my sight." He sighs. "I guess you are on your own Jeremy. But don't worry i will bring ypu to the Butcher before your mission starts. To the car... "
Both of you drive for quite some time listening to free jazz. Suddenly the car stops and you find yourself at ...the drive-up speakerbox of a chalupa restaurant, with the bear high off his ass trying to rap out his order to a flustered clerk. He turns to you and says, "Heh heh, heyh, these Mexicans're the master race right here with food this good. Make you *hic*... uhm. You want one, Jeremy?"
You soon become aware that one of the cars behind you is a police cruiser of some kind, with its lights flashing and two dudes stepping out with forest ranger hats on. They're walking towards the car. You Realize it's the swat team in disguise! They pull out rocket launchers and fire at the van! Just before the rockets hit, Jeremy fuckin' screams as the back of the van explodes, a shaped charge blowing the swat team to bits. the bear is laughing his ass off while Jeremy stumbles out of the truck,
"Whhhyyy!"
he screams at the heavens, right until he noticed the missile coming straight towards him, Jeremy Screamed in slow motion as the air to surface missile spun towards the van. The bear God turns to see the missile, and laughs, throwing a joint at what seems like normal speed towards the missile. The two meet as the missile closes in, and the sound of an angelic choir plays from nowhere as the joint and missile realise that they are truly meant for each other. The wedding will be held in Jeremy's mind, as he wakes up in a hospital, quickly realizing he was in a coma for over thirty years. Jeremy decided to form the Church of Bruintology, dedicated to Almighty Bear, whose symbol is a missile and a blunt with their twin smoke trails entwined in the shape of a heart. As the Prophet of Bear, Jeremy's first order of business is to Bomb the spire of glass, before the queen of a thousand teeth could be released. Unfortunately, the Spire of Glass only existed in his coma dream world, so, in order to bomb it, he'd have to put himself back in a coma. (This logic makes perfect sense when you are a recent coma victim, just watch that one British show.) So, to accomplish this, he Smashed his head on the floor, accidentally jamming fractured skull shards into his brain, permanently putting him into a coma.
Jeremy opened his eyes to find himself at the wedding of the missile and the blunt, but the missile was nowhere to be found! Jeremy decided to find the missile. After a short while he finds the missile next to a pond, sobbing. "Oh I do not know if I should marry the blunt. He's so fresh and nice, but I have to think of the future."
Jeremy decides that it is time for him to do something about this situation so he...
Author
Topic: Add Your Passage to the Story (Read 4095 times)