Finally... > Life Advice

Reluctant NEET

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Audioworm333:
So, I've graduated high school this year, and now I find myself living with my parents at age 20, with no job, no higher education, no driver's license and no car, and I live out too far from town to feasibly walk there. (I tried once; it took me most of the day and I had to rest multiple times.)

As if that didn't close enough doors, I have no experience with anything(not even volunteering, I mean NO experience) and no references, either. It seems like I'm doomed to stay a NEET until I get kicked out of my home altogether. I have applied for several jobs online, and I've even gotten a few interviews, but I am still nowhere close to getting a job.

My pretty much nonexistent work ethic probably doesn't help either. I'm honestly kind of lazy, even though I often flip-flop between wanting to stop being lazy and being perfectly content just sitting at home playing video games all day.

halp pls

Baffler:
What kind of work are you applying for? If it's stuff like retail, fast food, or manual labor I'd recommend starting with the drivers' license. Unreliable transportation is probably a major factor, if not the deciding factor, in holding back your getting a job. You'll probably have to borrow someone's car for a while until you've saved enough to buy your own, but there is no shame in this. Just pay for the gas you use.

The next thing you should start saving for is a place of your own. You should be ready to move into someplace when you start looking - don't waste people's time by flim-flamming and backing out at the last minute. There's no problem touring a place and getting details, but don't sign anything and don't pay any money until you're certain that that's where you want to be. A lot of people will charge application fees and other nonsense to get something out of people shopping around without actually having to move them in, and will pressure you to sign, but know what you can afford and don't fall for their tricks. The best way to do that is to find roommates first, then start looking for a place to live all together.

I don't know what the cost of living is like where you live, but I and one roommate can afford a relatively spartan lifestyle and rent a small house in a shitty neighborhood with both of us working part-time at just a hair above the state minimum wage. Waiting and saving is to give yourself a financial buffer zone while your costs are still low. It will be tempting to spend those savings, but you will need them eventually. Don't squander them on things like eating out or video games, or you'll be caught with your pants down when you have to go to the doctor or your car breaks down. Also, if you haven't had any luck elsewhere you can sign up with a temp agency. It's not an excellent deal, but a lot of places recruit exclusively through temp services, and they'll take pretty much anybody and find something for them to do eventually. Plus you can always just refuse whatever they offer you if you've managed to get something better lined up in the meantime with no consequences to yourself at all.

I can't actually make you do anything. Whether you do all of the above, none of it, or something like it is entirely up to you. But even if you don't do all that up there, I cannot stress enough that it's vital that you at least have a plan. Write it down. Tell your family and friends about your plans. It's not vital that you follow your plan exactly, things happen after all, but a goal gives you a direction to travel in, and writing it down and telling people gives you some accountability. You'll get there.

ChairmanPoo:

--- Quote from: Audioworm333 on December 12, 2017, 10:14:26 pm --- I'm honestly kind of lazy, even though I often flip-flop between wanting to stop being lazy and being perfectly content just sitting at home playing video games all day.

--- End quote ---
Well, you know how to start to fix the situation, then, right?

JimboM12:
this might seem a little shoehorned in but it straightened me out and will help in future life if you can handle it: join the military.

any branch, but i'd recommend either the airforce or navy for someone who frequents this forum. basic training is basic training for life. i still fold my bed with hospital corners if im not paying attention and i wipe things with a quick circular pattern like im wiping the floor by hand still. i can compartmentalize my thoughts even when dead tired and set myself up for success when planning things (like setting up dominoes, it's all set and the only thing to do is work it). it will get you a job, get you out of the house and get you experience in one fell swoop. you'll get used to living on your own and gradually having responsibility for yourself and your job.

but it will limit your freedom greatly you can still have fun on weekends and stuff but once you're in, you're in (pending medical issues). no quitting cuz its not fun anymore. its a commitment. if you don't exercise much (something i had to fix as well), you'll have to start and keep it up. you will have to deal with some assholes, but that's not military exclusive. the pay will be good but not quite civilian levels unless you're an officer (and being in the military can get you a college education so you can eventually be an officer too)

im sorry if that seemed kinda gushy but the air force set my life to a positive trajectory for the rest of my life. i was an idiot and didn't stay in and didn't take advantage of the time to get a degree, but the experience got me a decent job with Citibank and i can afford to go to college now.

edit*
this will also fix that laziness to a great extent. if i know i have to get something done and i try to laze out of it, i can still hear my Training Instructor (not Drill Sargent) chew my asshole open. its fine on days off but when somethings planned to get done, you know who's face im gonna be seeing in my dreams.

DOUBLE EDIT*
i should note this is mainly aimed at if you're american. if not, i'd recommend starting small and working your way up. you don't have to have a 30k a year job just yet. also, are your parents pressuring you to leave? if not, and they only want you to get out of the house and have some income for yourself, definitely take advantage of the time to save up like baffler suggested. if any of your family friends have a room open and they live closer to your job/potential job site, see if they're willing to rent it to you for a fair price. don't be afraid to jump feet first into retail as a starter job either, my first job was a janitor after i got out of the air force. i then got a job with loss prevention and then a tech job i held for years. you can build on your work experience and leverage that to your advantage to get a better job, you just gotta start somewhere.

Fenrir:
Considering your situation, what you're calling “laziness” may be clinical depression. I recommend seeing a psychologist (not a therapist, a psychologist – the kind with Dr in their name – but a therapist will do if you can't find a psychologist) if you can.

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