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[rhavviepoodle]

After seeing what has been the greatest kill of my adventuring career, I thought I would share with you guys. The cinematic kills thread has been dead since 2013, so I figured it would be best to start up a new thread. Feel free to share your own stylish kills here, everyone.

The synopsis is I'm playing as a harpy bard (I modded them to be playable in my game) and I got sick of people complaining about beasts so much, so I decided to go thin them out a bit. Ingtak is no slouch, so she in fact does a fairly decent job of it. The most recent victim was Corud Nihdebisan Besozin, a muscular roc. Surprisingly, Ingtak (despite having just her talons and teeth) managed to frighten the roc into fleeing up into the sky. Great place to run, right? 

Spoiler: Hope y'all enjoy! (click to show/hide)

You silently bite the muscular roc in the lower body from behind, tearing the skin and bruising the fat!
You latch on firmly!
The muscular roc breaks the grip of Your upper front teeth on the muscular roc's lower body.
The muscular roc misses you!
You snatch at the muscular roc in the upper body with your first toe, right talon, tearing the skin and bruising the fat!
The muscular roc misses you!
You snatch at the muscular roc in the upper body with your first toe, right talon, tearing the skin and bruising the fat!
The muscular roc is having trouble breathing!
The muscular roc charges at you!
You jump away!
You snatch at the muscular roc in the lower body with your first toe, left talon, tearing the skin and bruising the fat!
The muscular roc looks sick!
You snatch at the muscular roc in the lower body with your first toe, right talon, tearing the skin and bruising the fat!

This is when the Corud turned around and hightailed it out of there. He was pretty quick, but he ran out of stamina much faster than Ingtak, who eventually caught up.

...I cut out the chase part of the battle, but I'm sure you can imagine how it went, complete with Yakety Sax music. Lots of cheap swipes at Corud and he collapses from exhaustion at some point.

You snatch at the muscular roc in the right wing with your first toe, left talon, tearing the skin and bruising the muscle!
You snatch at the muscular roc in the right lower leg with your first toe, left talon, tearing the skin and bruising the muscle!
The force twists the right knee!
You snatch at the muscular roc in the right foot with your first toe, right talon, tearing the fat and bruising the muscle!
You snatch at the muscular roc in the left lower leg with your first toe, left talon, tearing the skin and bruising the muscle!
You bite the muscular roc in the right eye, tearing it!
You latch on firmly!
The muscular roc breaks the grip of Your upper front teeth from The muscular roc's right eye!
You silently bite the muscular roc in the right wing from the side, tearing the skin and bruising the fat!
You latch on firmly!
The muscular roc breaks the grip of Your upper front teeth on The muscular roc's right wing.
You snatch at the muscular roc in the left lower leg with your first toe, left talon, tearing the skin and bruising the muscle!
You snatch at the muscular roc in the first toe, right foot with your first toe, right talon, fracturing the bone!
The force twists the right foot!
You snatch at the muscular roc in the left lower leg with your first toe, left talon, tearing the skin and bruising the fat!
You bite the muscular roc in the left eye, tearing it!
You latch on firmly!
The muscular roc breaks the grip of Your upper front teeth on the muscular roc's left eye.

Sorry, Mr. Corud but it looks like you're pretty screwed now. Both of your eyes are torn, so you can't really fight anymore...

You snatch at the muscular roc in the head with your first toe, right talon, tearing the fat and bruising the muscle!
The muscular roc has been stunned!
The muscular roc has been knocked unconscious!
The force bends the neck!

Oh. Well, that changes things. Did I mention we're 20 z-layers above the ground right now? I step into his tile and proceed to drop a few things. Two coins (he'll be needing them for Charon), a piece of lettuce (for science!), and I pour some strawberry wine out for him, too. The wine unfortunately disappears during the fall at some point.

You drop the Thilu Adéma Thone Roresathilu gold coin.
You drop the Thilu Adéma Thone Roresathilu gold coin.
You drop the lettuce leaf.
You empty the large rat leather waterskin.

I fly down a tile or two, trying to catch up to my quickly descending comrade.

You jump away from the Thilu Adéma Thone Roresathilu gold coin!

Oh, whoops!  That could have been ugly. I fail to catch up to Corud before the fun part starts. 

The muscular roc slams into an obstacle!
The muscular roc's lower body takes the full force of the impact, bruising the muscle and bruising the stomach!
The muscular roc's right upper leg takes the full force of the impact and the part is smashed into the body, an unrecognizable mass!
An artery has been opened by the attack!
The muscular roc's right wing takes the full force of the impact and the part splits in gore!
An artery has been opened by the attack!
The muscular roc's right foot takes the full force of the impact and the part splits in gore!
An artery has been opened by the attack!
The muscular roc's upper body takes the full force of the impact, bruising the muscle and shattering the right true ribs!
The muscular roc's left lower leg takes the full force of the impact and the part splits in gore!
An artery has been opened by the attack!
The muscular roc's tongue takes the full force of the impact and the part splits in gore!
The muscular roc's left upper leg takes the full force of the impact and the part is smashed into the body, an unrecognizable mass!
An artery has been opened by the attack!
The muscular roc's beak takes the full force of the impact and the severed part sails off in an arc!

First off, how did Corud manage to fall on his tongue? Second, I'm amazed that his beak even broke off. Is that supposed to be possible?

The Thilu Adéma Thone Roresathilu gold coin strikes the muscular roc in the head, bruising the muscle and chipping the skull!
The force bends the neck!
The Thilu Adéma Thone Roresathilu gold coin strikes the muscular roc in the lower body, bruising the muscle and bruising the guts!
The muscular roc looks sick!
The lettuce leaf strikes the muscular roc in the right upper leg, fracturing the bone!
The muscular roc vomits.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc retches.

Ok, so apparently lettuce leaves can fracture bones if you drop them from 20 z-layers up. And based on the retching, I don't think Corud is a big fan of lettuce. Also worth noting that at least one of the coins was in the ballpark of landing on Corud's eyes, which is cool.

I've poured one out for Corud, but that's not enough. Ingtak is a poet, so she may as well recite one of her original poems for her feathered friend. Here's the poem I chose:

Craft and the Ace Blister is an example of The Wispy Plays. The work has no particular subject. The writing is as vicious as can be yet it has rare but particularly exquisite turns of phrase. Overall, the poetry is masterful.

The Wispy Plays is a poetic riddle intended to renounce someone's character, originating in The Tight Tours. The rules of the form are applied by poets to produce individual poems which can be recited.
 The poem is a single tercet. Each line has five feet with a tone pattern of uneven-even. Every line of the poem has an initial caesura. The second line of the tercet must expand the idea of the first line.

I've flown down to his side and begin reciting my riddle-poem for my feathery buddy. That, or cruelly renouncing him... I'm not quite sure?

You begin reciting the poem Craft and the Ace Blister.
You bring the poem to life with this flawless recitation.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc retches.
You begin the second line.
You bring the poem to life with this flawless recitation.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc regains consciousness.
The muscular roc gives in to pain.
The muscular roc retches.
You begin the third line.
You bring the poem to life with this flawless recitation.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc retches.
The muscular roc has bled to death.
You conclude your performance.

[Morning_Oak]

Absolutely beautiful. 10/10.

[NadNutter]

I don't have an epic aerial battle with a giant roc to my name, but I do have one kill that I think is quite stylish.

In my early days of adventuring, I brought my peasant dwarf into the dungeons of a human town, armed with nothing but the copper dagger he left the mountainhomes with. Not being much of a fighter, he decided to take the first guard he came across through stealth.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You silently grab the widely-spaced-teeth goblin maceman by the silver morningstar from behind with your left hand!
You silently stab the widely-spaced-teeth goblin maceman in the lower body from behind with your large copper dagger, bruising the muscle and bruising the guts through the xtroll fur cloakx!
It is a gelding strike!
The widely-spaced-teeth goblin maceman gives in to pain.
The widely-spaced-teeth goblin maceman falls over.

And then I slit his throat. But though I didn't include the moment when he actually bled out, I included the true moment he was defeated, in body and in spirit. I've killed mountain titans and colossi since then, but none with such casual and degenerate precision as this. I hold this moment close to my heart every time I start a new adventurer.

[IndigoFenix]

I always put a bunch of points into wrestling, because your best weapon is always the one that was in the enemy's hand a moment ago.

The most stylish time I did this was while hanging by a tree with one hand, over a cliff, fighting an enemy standing on the cliff, grabbing his weapon away from him with the free hand, then jumping at them to knock them down and land the killing blow.

[Tyjid]

I once decapitated three night beasts in quick succession with a bronze scimitar, right after being crippled and forced to crawl on the ground

So I'm just imagining an anime moment where the hero is getting his ass beat, and then right as he's on the ropes he utterly thrashes his opponent

[Xantalos]

I used to have an adventurer that made trophies from any foe he killed, usually by butchering them. But you can't butcher sentients, so whenever I fought humans or goblins or whatever I had to knock out all their teeth before I actually bothered to kill them.

I exclusively used a copper mining pick. Eventually I stopped fighting people all together because it became boring to me.