Open the river door
[2]
You grasp doorknob. It is slippery. A few awkward minutes later you stop wrestling with the slippery object.
Create a tropical island to stand on.
[5]
An island pops into existence to your right. A tropical island.
Swim at the river
[5]You swim! There are fish in the water. They swim with you and take you to see the Bottom. There is Nothing below the water. Then they take you back to the door, bubbling in excitement.
Alter the fabric of the universe to a nice shade of blue.
[4]
The universe is dyed a lovely shade of blue. But only on the left of the river door.
Open the river door
Barricade it shut before they can do so!
[1]
Before you can barricade the door before they open the door, a giant fish with arms jumps out of the water, tears off your head and swims away with it.
Respawn?
Try and catch some fish.
[5]
You catch a lot of fish. Pink fish, purple fish, fish with hands, a bunch of very pretty blue fish. Some fish have facial hair growing between scales.
Weird.
immediately trigger key events early, causing discontinuity in the thread's underlying plot.
[1]
You'd do that but a giant fish with arms just took your head and swam away with it. Now it's chasing another armed fish that is also holding a head.
Respawn?