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Author Topic: Ägashfamthut, "Bandithorses," Where we steal everything and die to caves  (Read 18886 times)

Moonstone_Flower

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The strange entrance ended up being useless, as everyone is just walking over what I thought was a closed drawbridge in front of the depot.  My brain is trying to eject itself through the emergency exit right now.

It is still Granite.  The insanity shall only become more pronounced.
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Derpy Dev

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The strange entrance ended up being useless, as everyone is just walking over what I thought was a closed drawbridge in front of the depot.  My brain is trying to eject itself through the emergency exit right now.

It is still Granite.  The insanity shall only become more pronounced.

Can you post a screenshot of that entrance? I have a feeling something got botched.

Moonstone_Flower

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The bridge is one tile long, so open and closed states look identical.  The bridge works, it was just open.

Edit:  Stay tuned for sobriety and bucket fetishists.
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Derpy Dev

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The bridge is one tile long, so open and closed states look identical.  The bridge works, it was just open.

Edit:  Stay tuned for sobriety and bucket fetishists.

In my experience, it has to be at least two tiles long to work. Maybe I've just always done it wrong? Still, I'm not trusting this bridge.

Stoat tales

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It was one tile long when I made it and yes, one tile bridges work.
If I'd known building that one bridge as an afterthought to compensate for the nothing we had there to begin with would be the shittest thing I could have done, I kind of wish I hadn't bothered
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Well, as spring rolled around, Stoat decided to roll around as well.  "'ey.  Amaranth.  Y'wanted something t'do, I got somethin' for ya."  With that, I was left in the kitchen with a short stack of papers.

- - - - - - - - - -

"You're shoving the overseer position on ME?!"

"Yeah, lass, that's what I bee' sayin'."

"I swear to *mumblemumble* strangle your firstborn Fine.  I'll take it."

- - - - - - - - - -

Excerpt from the journals of (there are strange markings here that don't match any known language)

First things first, then.  I've been thrust into the position of overseer for this den of low-key insanity.  I've taken a look around and found... problems.  There is good, as well, but one must address the problems first.

Issue #1:  The entrance hall.  It is filled with defensive fortifications in the walls, yet the militia has not been informed to make use of this.  This has been rectified by telling them to "burrow" behind the arrow-slits.  Should an invasion occur, they will know where to be and will be able to fire upon the invaders from behind the walls likely make it there too late to be of any use.
Issue #2:  Latrines.
Issue #3:  There is a lever installed in the north wall of the temple.  This lever controls the access gate to the trading depot area, but the lever itself was unmarked.  This has now been rectified, a note attached to the lever.
Issue #4:  How many of us are even here in this bloody pit?
Issue #5:  Our food stocks are in a dire state - we've only a few dozen types of edibles!  This must be addressed.
Issue #6:  The defences are still somewhat lackluster.  We should have access gates along the entrance hall.  Traps.  A gatehouse.  Soon.
Issue #7:  Zan is now our captain of the gourd, due to a clerical error during paperwork transfer.  To match this new role, a pumpkin was assigned.
Issue #8:  A fisherdwarf murdered a turkey hen.  We may need to implement anti-rage measures.

In addition to the above, I have had the gigantic pain in the arse highest honour LIKE HELL
Lokum has decided that her name is now "Xenir".  I have set aside her document for the liaison to take back, should the fool ever decide to do some work.

First order of business was to get MORE.  FOOD.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Ye said to gather what?!"

"THE PLAAAAANTS."

"From th' surface?!"

"The plants.  From the surface.  For food.  You like to have food to eat, right?  Get.  The.  Plants.  Take whoever you need, as long as they know what to gather."

"Bu', we're dwarfs-"

"You also need to eat.  Go forth, and gather.  Or we'll run out of booze, too."

A great rumbling can be heard as the half-dozen dwarfs that were in earshot all begin running to the surface in unison.

- - - - - - - - - -

"We need more space dug out for farms.  I have the plans drawn up already.  Begin from this point and dig south - you'll avoid all known water this way."



"Aye, looks fine.  Should take no more'n seven days."

"Faster than I expected!  I'll leave you to it, then.  When you're done, the farmers can set fields in the middle of each."

- - - - - - - - - -

Excerpt from the journals of (there are strange markings here that don't match any known language)

We also have no proper dining hall.  This is kodo shit cannot stand.  I have laid out an area for a great tavern below.  What are kodos?  I still don't bloody know.  Now that the farms are dug, the booze hall shall be next!  WE SHALL BE DINING UPON GREAT CANNABIS HEMPSEED ROASTS BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR.  I have also put in an order with the manager for twenty table-and-chair sets for the new dining hall.

Three larger farm plots have been assigned near the temple, next to the existing farm.  These, along with the new pod farms, should give us plenty of expansion space for growing whatever we may find of use.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Kooobolds, kooooobolds, they the kobolds shall taaaake the-" "KOBOLD SIGHTED!  THIEF, THIIEEEEF!"

"No, you idiot, I was singing."

"Nay, a kobold was sighted topside!"



"Oh for the love of-  Go, just, go chase it off, with your 'big sticks'.  *snrk*  'Sticks'.  Right.  *snrk*"
"Aye!"

[...]

"LUKAPAYNGIS NO IS SAY!  GOING!"

[...]

"Sorry, lass, the little bugger go' away."

"*Wheeze, snrk*  I'm sure your big sticks scared the blighter senseless!  *snrk*PFBAAHAHA- *cough* WATER!"

- - - - - - - - - -

Excerpt from the journals of (there are strange markings here that don't match any known language)

I have instructed our "engravers", such as they are, to smooth the hospital floor.  After seeing the ridges and edges of the floor of what should be a place of healing, I was appalled.  These fools are clearly slowly going insane, and it all started early on in Granite, I'm sure of it.

Speaking of insanity, I was told to cook some of our limited supplies of booze.  Nobody.  NOBODY.  NOBODY in their right mind would cook a beverage!  "Words" were had, oh yes.  Speaking of which, we require more beverages.  Our stocks have gone from "paltry" to "emergency rations" levels, and THIS MUST BE RECTIFIED.

Of course, I was soon overrun by a deluge of morons complaining of a lack of barrels.  MAKE MORE BARRELS, YOU LACKWITS.  Soon we shall be drowning in barrels and pots.  WE SHALL SOON BE DRINKING OUR BEVERAGES FROM BARRELS OF HAZEL AND SMOKING QUARTZITE POTS.

[Three weeks go by in the journal, the entries entirely - and surprisingly - mundane]

The great hall has been dug.  IT SHALL BE SMOOTHED!

- - - - - - - - - -

"An' we're gettin' ready t' smooth the floor an' walls in the tavern ye had dug - bloody huge, lass, bu' it'll be a beauty when we ge' done with it."

"Ahead of schedule, again!  Yes, go ahead and smooth it out.  Smooth it to a shine, yes, as SMOOTH AS A HUMANS'-"
"AHOOOOOY, ATTENTION!"

"What manner of boorish rubbish is this?"  Amaranth looks over the edge of the entrance to the depot and squints.  "Migrants?"



The migrants - all two of them, and the collection of pets they brought with them - crest the hill to the north and head for the entrance, stopping to greet the group talking at the depot.  "'ello, lasses.  I'm Ral, this is Nish.  High Master Glazer, and Talented Bookbinder, hope you have extra beds and barrels!  Heh har."

" ... High master?  Glazer?  High master glazer.  And a bookbinder."  Amaranth rubs the bridge of her nose.

"Tha's right, lass."

"So what you're saying is that you're a master of getting high on glaze."

"Nay, lass, earthenwa-"

"I don't care.  We have no use for either of those skills right now.  Nish, you're carrying a crossbow, and comfortably.  Go introduce yourself to our crossbow squad, I'm sure they'll be glad to have a new mate.  Ral, your mastery of sniffing the glaze has been noted and is disturbing.  You know what, never mind.  Go, haul or something.  Help the others gather plants from up here, I'm sure you saw some on your way in."

"Aye, we'll get to it, riiight after we take a load off downstairs."

"Oi.  Hold up, you two.  Why the hell did you bring a llama, an untrained dog, and... whatever that thing is?  You know what this place is, right?  This is a forward staging point for raids, not a menagerie!  Sod it.  Someone get that llama into the pasture before it dies in the middle of the temple- WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT THIS NOT BEING A MENAGERIE?!  Why did you bring a reindeer?!"

- - - - - - - - - -

Excerpt from the journals of (there are strange markings here that don't match any known language)

I can't
this s
I need a book.  And a gneiss pot.
And a nice bedroom.

We are getting better lodgings before something... stupid... happens.

[A week of entries pass, many of them somewhat rambling.]

SIX ROOMS, THEY DUG SIX.  ROOMS.

- - - - - - - - - -

The scream of "YEEAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH" echoes through the hallways and out of the tunnels to the surface.  Above, a kea turns around and speeds away.

- - - - - - - - - -

Excerpt from the journals of (there are strange markings here that don't match any known language)

Better!  Larger!  More!  SMOOTHER!  THEY'D BEST BE SMOOTHER THAN A HUMAN THROUGH A [The rest of the line is a scribbled line.]

Someone just ran by, screaming about how they can't find their lunch.

I can feel the minds of all around me snapping.  NOT MINE, NO, NEVER

- - - - - - - - - -

"We have NO DRINKS?!  You're telling me that someone is dying of thirst and we have no buckets, but you don't think to MAKE A BUCKET?  Oh dear light...  Just... make a bucket.  And then MAKE.  MORE.  BARRELS."
"I NEED A BUCKET!"
"WE NEE' A BUCKE' O'ER HERE!"
"BUCKEEEEEEEEEET!"

Amaranth sighs, before taking a deep breath.  "Shut up about the buckets!  YOUR BUCKET FETISHES WILL SOON BE SATISFIED, SO JUST SHUT UP!"

- - - - - - - - - -

Amidst the chaos of dwarfs screaming for buckets, booze, and berries, a single dwarf wanders through the halls, her mind on other matters.

'What is this disgusting... tentacled mass, anyways?  Why is it in the temple?  OH DEAR GODS IT CAN MOVE.'  As the dwarf passes a carpenter's shop, she stops.  There, in the centre of the work area, is a finished bed, a great work of art that would cause all but the most hardened to stop and gaze at it.  '... Dear gods.  This bed.  Why can't I stop staring at this bed.  Sod it, I'm taking it to my new quarters.'  As the screams of "I CAN'T FIND A BUCKET" fade, the dwarf picks up one end of the bed and hauls it to the new bedrooms.

- - - - - - - - - -

Excerpt from the journals of (there are strange markings here that don't match any known language)

A few things, this time.

First, my new bed is a thing of beauty.  Yes.
Second, the bucket fetishists have finally stopped their screaming now that we have four buckets and plenty of alcohol.  I hope to never again see sober dwarfs.
Third, a registration error seems to have left my papers without the seal of the armoursmiths.  I'm here to cook and forge, so that got fixed with proper application of Special Berry Wine.
Fourth, some idiot left a llama skeleton in the temple.
Fifth, something has struck me.  I must ponder this great victory.



[The entries skip two days.]

The tables and chairs for the tavern are being neglected.  THE GREAT YAAARRRGGH SHALL VISIT RETRIBUTION UPON YOU ALL
breathe breathe
which is admittedly very weird.  breathing.  Just use your leaves except you DON'T HAVE THEM NOW they must NEVER KNOW OF THIS

[Later entries seem much calmer.]

[A list of names is scribble on this page, under a header of "bucket fetishists"]

Snow Dwarf, Puppyguard, Hun, Derpy(?!), Ingish, that damn birdMottled Petrel

[The list of names is scribbled over]

EVERYONE
EVERYONE IS INFECTED
THEY ALL MUST DIE, THEY ARE ALL INFECTED

[The next page has "S U M M E R" written diagonally across it.]



- - - - - - - - - -

Alright, so, despite the length, this was only spring.  I need to learn to say less so I don't burn out.  Any tips?
« Last Edit: April 08, 2018, 03:21:12 pm by Moonstone_Flower »
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MottledPetrel

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Is there a problem with people traveling diagonally around the bridge? I always forget that dwarves can move in 8 directions and not just the usual 4.
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Got any spare, broken (or actually working) RAWs? Come drop them off at Modded Hell and we'll try to patch them in poorly with all the other eclectic mods we have. After all, confliction is what we do best.

My Mods: Fungus Expansion

Moonstone_Flower

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Is there a problem with people traveling diagonally around the bridge? I always forget that dwarves can move in 8 directions and not just the usual 4.

Nope, the bridge is enclosed properly.  When drawn, dwarfs go through the main entrance hall, so there's no path around the bridge by ground.

Edit:  The human caravan is here.  Shall I lock them in and murder the filthy apes, or should I trade with them?
« Last Edit: April 09, 2018, 02:18:31 pm by Moonstone_Flower »
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pikachu17

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Do we have somebody with Proficient or more Ambusher skill? We could send them by themselves to raid, and they'll just sneak past the guards and steal all their stuff, with them none the wiser.
As in, they won't declare war if they don't spot us.

I believe we can train people to be ambushers by assigning hunting.

MrLurkety

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From the journal of MrLurkety, Brewer:
Not that long ago, the overseer started screaming about bucket fetishists. Then, she told me to make more booze, which at least made sense.
Although, strangely, a lot of it was surface plants. I mean, I guess we should use up all of the resources we have, but a dwarf drinking a surface plant? Seems almost unnatural.
I could use a good old mug of mead right about now. Never had insane overseers and bucket fetishists in the mountainhome.
-----
OOC: I'm not that good at writing, so any criticism is welcome.
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Bay12 Evo game
-snip-
I'm not an expert on the political climate but I'm pretty sure that politicians don't join armies and invade dwarven fortresses.

Moonstone_Flower

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Holy crap that gave me a good laugh, Mr of the Lurkety.  I needed that today, thank you.  c:
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MrLurkety

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Holy crap that gave me a good laugh, Mr of the Lurkety.  I needed that today, thank you.  c:
Thanks, too! I'm glad I could make you laugh.
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Bay12 Evo game
-snip-
I'm not an expert on the political climate but I'm pretty sure that politicians don't join armies and invade dwarven fortresses.

Moonstone_Flower

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I didn't get around to playing more today, sorry!  That means the humans are still incoming, and input on whether to slaughter them like the stinking surface-dwelling apes they are is still being accepted.

Edit:  Got to Autumn, traded with the humans.  I may or may not be able to finish the year, should I just upload it now?

Edit 2:  Reached the end of the year.  Log and save archive incoming.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2018, 01:57:47 pm by Moonstone_Flower »
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Moonstone_Flower

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First day of summer and there's already been another kobold sighting.  This is a different from the last one, howev- there's a second kobold with it!

"Go... wave your sticks at them menacingly or something, I need to put in this order for wooden bolts so that you lot can train without wasting metal."

As expected, the two kobolds wandered out of range and got away.  The training hall should be moved closer to the surface to avoid this crap.
I have decided that we need more statues.  More!

THIS WEEK, WE DINE ON FINE ROASTS.

Wretched apes have arrived, bringing with them a great stench and the sound of wagons and idiocy!
As they neared the depot with their stench and low-quality rubbish, Derpy walked by, heading deeper into the fort.
"'m off t' sleep now, wake me up when the humans are gone.  Actually, ne'er mind, too restless t' sleep."
With that, she wandered back to the depot, yawning.  I have no idea what she is doing at this point.  However, my response was cut short by a scream from the bedrooms.  As I was about to send a runner down to check what happened, another ran up to me to tell me that Feb had been re-elected as mayor.  I really don't care, but whatever.

"At least go see what that screaming was about.  I swear, everyone is going insa-" "BIIIRRRTTHH"
"Dear Etur, what now?  ... Ducim?  What is that slimy ball you're holding?"
"A new dwarf!  Isn't she adorable?"
"AGH!  Get that thing away from my face!  By Etur, don't you know to not shove slime-balls at others?  Whatever, get back to work.  And don't let that thing starve and start rotting."

- - - - - - - - - -

Apparently the humans were not completely useless this time.  They brought several ingots with them, as well as a sow and a breeding pair of donkeys.  We also managed to pick up some bags of sand and a shortsword of bronze.  The quality is nonexistent, but we can melt it and reforge it into a proper tool.  Finally, we obtained nearly all of the foodstuffs they were carrying.  How Derpy managed to swing that is beyond me, but I am sure that it involved liberal use of things I would prefer to not know.  Plausible deniability.
In exchange for a few sheets of their parchment, we reminded them of the deception that one of theirs attempted in 115 with a lovely figurine.
With that, the "trading" was concluded and the towering apes were told to be ready to leave.

Now we have a breeding pair of donkeys and of pigs.  Some of the others are excited at the prospect of "bacon".  I prefer the company of my kin.
[Several stains, which appear to be strawberry juice, litter the page.]

A kennel and siege workshop have been built across from the dining hall, next to the barracks.  About time, too, I'm sick of rats running around underfoot.

One migrant has arrived.  One.  Migrant.  She's a planter, somehow experienced with dissecting fish, and a hobbyist metalcrafter.  Says her name is Melbil.  Doesn't matter, we need another set of hands gathering the ingredients for my next culinary masterpiece.


KEAS

I WILL STRANGLE THEM ALL




[Autumn has arrived.]

Another season, another bloody kobold.  This time, the pastured critters up above raised the alarm.  The kobold wandered away again, of course, losing the stick-wielders - or would have lost them if they had even gotten out of the bloody fort!  The militia needs easier access to the outside, and to the entrance tunnels.

Vermin are crawling all over the temple area.  We need a cat, or whatever else may keep the place tidy.

Speaking of tidy, there are CHUNKS OF ALPACA sitting in the temple, ROTTING.  Of course, none of us are wiling to go near enough to haul it outside, so in the temple it shall remain, rotting and filling the air with vile [the rest of the page is splattered with what appears to be vomitus.]

For some reason, we were severely lacking in food storage space, and still are despite the new stockpile assignment.  A new food storage room is being attached to the tavern.  The situation here is madness at best and idiocy at worst.  MORE FOOD MORE FOOD MOREFOODMOREFOODMOREFOODMOREFOOD
[The rest of the page continues in the same manner.]

- - - - - - - - - -

Ah, the caravan of our... "kind".  And of course, the liaison, the lazy sock-chewer.  Apparently there was too much going on in the world for any sort of report to be given, not that anyone here gives half a helmet snake.

Lovely, the export "agreement".  Did anyone actually agree to this?


We are now in possession of every metal bar and piece of food that was in their wagons, as well as every bag of seeds, an amount of leather, much of the copper items, and the list continues.  The merchants appeared quite intimidated by the time they left.

- - - - - - - - - -

Walking through the workshop level, Kulet suddenly dropped the Thornback Rays he was carrying.  "The design... so perfect... nobody can know until it is done..."

Walking just a few steps ahead, Ral slapped her forehead.  "If yer gonna try to be secretive, don't just announce it in a hallway full o' people, ye daft twit."  If Kulet heard her, he made no indication of it as he barged forward and barricaded the bowyer's shop.


very basic

Finally, Kulet emerges from behind the makeshift barricades.



The Split Shanks

Meanwhile, the rabbits are breeding like, well, rabbits.



- - - - - - - - - -

[Winter is upon you.]

Old Man Winter is here, shoving his icy appendage into places it should never go.  So claims the calendar, in any case.

Most of the winter has been uneventful, but productive.  Many more bedrooms are finished.  Our halls are smoothed, clear, and easy to walk.

However, we DO NOT have ENOUGH types of FOOD.  To rectify this, I must now withdraw to my domain, the domain of the kitchen.  I have left the documents for maddwarf overseership in the halls.  Whomsoever pulls them from the floor shall be overseer.

- - - - - - - - - -

A second gate has been installed on the inner side of the depot.  The control lever is next to the original lever, and both are now marked with [N]otes.

Most of my turn was given to cleaning up the halls, making more storage, and other general preparation/organising.  I didn't do much with the militia, but the halls and tavern have been smoothed(for the most part).  The tavern has been set as a tavern, the big room attached to the south of it is a general food stockpile(minus seeds), a siege workshop and a kennel have been put in the room to the north, and we have an arseload of barrels and pots.  Finally, an arseload of food was gathered from the surface and new underground farms were made.  I also finished furnishing some of the original bedrooms according to the designs of the apparently-finished ones, as well as making a few suites using a similar, but larger, design.

Apologies for taking so long.

Save will be up shortly.

Save here.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2018, 02:20:29 pm by Moonstone_Flower »
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pikachu17

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Why do we have rabbits? Or is the bug with butchering them only producing a skull fixed?
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