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Author Topic: depressed  (Read 1789 times)

deathpunch578

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depressed
« on: March 13, 2018, 12:42:32 pm »

I feel fine, it's just when ever something doesn't go right or I make a mistake I feel depressed. Sometimes I'm fine after a bit, but most of the time I feel awful through the rest of the day.
I also have aspergers, I don't know how it effects me, I just know I've diagnosed with it.

I just need help.
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nenjin

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Re: depressed
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2018, 05:51:21 pm »

Quote
ever something doesn't go right or I make a mistake I feel depressed

Sounds like self-esteem issues to me. I also have the problem where when I've screwed up or something didn't go right in the day that was important to me, it will stay with me a while. I don't think it's unnatural. But I do think it comes from a place of guilt, of feeling the need to beat one's self up. I mentally consider it as trying to always be better and having consequences when I suck, even though it causes me pain and depression. But it's often things that are out of your control that screw stuff up, and in lieu of being able to blame life and moving on...you blame yourself. Either reasonably (I could have done better and didn't) or unreasonably (taking responsibility for stuff you don't have any control over.)

Letting go isn't easy, especially when it's something important. There will always be some period of time when you have to mentally process something that happened. Rationalizing and finding an explanation you can live with does take time. The trick is to not sweat the small stuff, like bad social interactions. Don't ignore them! But don't carry them around with you all day, all week. Pick which hill you really should be dying on. I had to learn this at work the hard way. I'd get really worked up over small things that made the big things seem even more intimidating. My bosses had to tell me "let the small stuff go. Save your angst for the big things." And it really did help. To me it was like "bwah, you mean deliberately don't care as much about the low level stuff that goes like crap?! It's like you're telling me to slack off and not get invested!" Truth is there is some stuff out there that isn't worthy of your pain. Finding out which is which is a life skill.

Can't help you much with the Aspergers though.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2018, 05:54:13 pm by nenjin »
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martinuzz

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Re: depressed
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2018, 08:58:23 pm »

Feeling bad for failing at something is not depressed. If you were really depressed, you would probably not even have tried in the first place.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: depressed
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2018, 02:56:10 am »

Feeling bad for failing at something is not depressed. If you were really depressed, you would probably not even have tried in the first place.
Feeling bad for failing at something is being disappointed
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deathpunch578

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Re: depressed
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2018, 12:03:57 pm »

...
Thanks for the advice, I'm going to try my best to actually follow it.

Feeling bad for failing at something is not depressed. If you were really depressed, you would probably not even have tried in the first place.
I do want to give up and stop trying, but I end up forcing myself to do things (it makes me want to bash my head against a wall until I knock myself unconscious, but at least I'm trying to work through it)
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kilakan

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Re: depressed
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2018, 12:37:57 pm »


Feeling bad for failing at something is not depressed. If you were really depressed, you would probably not even have tried in the first place.
I do want to give up and stop trying, but I end up forcing myself to do things (it makes me want to bash my head against a wall until I knock myself unconscious, but at least I'm trying to work through it)
That's still not really depression, if you were despressed like martinuz said you wouldn't of tried.  You usually wouldn't even think of trying.  Depression is waking up and seeing the pile of work before you, then shrugging and going back to bed/reading a book/staring at the wall before you go to lay down for the night so you can get up and barely even exist the next day.

Depression is also a constant, there isn't something that makes your days bad, they just are bad.  Sometimes they are worse sure but usually they are just bad.

That said I'd love to offer positive advice on what's making you feel sad and the bad feelings you do have but as someone struggling with depression so bad I haven't properly cleaned my room in a year I don't think I have any advice to give.

If all this makes you angry at me though and want to tell me how you do have depression, go talk to your doctor.  Depending on where you live anti-depressants are pretty standard stuff.
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deathpunch578

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Re: depressed
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2018, 01:04:51 pm »


Feeling bad for failing at something is not depressed. If you were really depressed, you would probably not even have tried in the first place.
I do want to give up and stop trying, but I end up forcing myself to do things (it makes me want to bash my head against a wall until I knock myself unconscious, but at least I'm trying to work through it)
...
I get that, just explaining a bit more of my situation. When posting this I kinda half forgot what depression is (all I remembered was it made you unmotivated and made have suicidal thoughts/thoughts of self harm)
As someone with mental illnesses I am not going to be the person that fakes having a mental illness/disorder for attention (I fucking hate these people)
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martinuzz

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Re: depressed
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2018, 02:11:41 pm »

Aspergers is not a mental illness, if that's what you are referring to.
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Maximum Spin

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Re: depressed
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2018, 02:15:10 pm »

Aspergers is not a mental illness, if that's what you are referring to.
Er, yes it is.
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Yoink

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Re: depressed
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2018, 03:56:09 am »

I do want to give up and stop trying, but I end up forcing myself to do things (it makes me want to bash my head against a wall until I knock myself unconscious, but at least I'm trying to work through it)
That's still not really depression, if you were despressed like martinuz said you wouldn't of tried.
Oh cheers, so because I manage to at least get out of bed most days and try to improve my life despite the inherent pointlessness of it all and the inevitability of failure, I'm not actually depressed at all.
Good to know, thanks! :))


I know how you feel, Deathpunch. Once I start beating myself up over even the smallest of failures it can be awfully hard to stop.
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wierd

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Re: depressed
« Reply #10 on: March 15, 2018, 04:06:49 am »

That sounds more like neurosis than depression.

*Has suffered depression. It sucks.
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martinuzz

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Re: depressed
« Reply #11 on: March 15, 2018, 01:55:11 pm »

Aspergers is not a mental illness, if that's what you are referring to.
Er, yes it is.
Over here it is called a personality disorder, but not an illness. Calling someone with aspergers mentally ill is considered an insult, not just by those with asperger's, but also by psychologists and psychiatrists alike.

Also, DSM is often treated like it's some kind of holy scripture. It's not. It's a compromise between diagnosis and cost-effectiveness of treatment for health insurance and pharmaceutics' sake.
I daresay it even hurts medical progress, for it does not encourage out-of-the-box thinking at all.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2018, 02:02:07 pm by martinuzz »
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dragdeler

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Re: depressed
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2018, 02:59:20 pm »

I like how the tone has improved so I dare give my 50 cents.

The radiostation at work has been talking about depressions the whole week (some silly social engagement) and it is appaling to me how often the conversation drives to platitudes, even when they interview the so called experts. When to me it seems so apparant; I'm not pretending to have eaten wisdom by the spoonful, but you will be hard pressed to find an instance of depression that can not be resumed to the following logic:

The cause for depressions stems from expectations (to others, yourself or the world in general) that go unsatisfied, and somebody who suffers depression knows, or has persuaded oneself that that expectation will forever remain unmet.

If you suffer that state for too long you will start to show physical symptoms as in: your mind and body operating differently (usually it becomes extremly hard to concentrate on anything other than the loop of despair one's set oneself up with). But it can take a myriad of expressions, from high functioning depressions and anxiety disorders to bipolar disorders. The "not able to get out of bed" is quite an oversimplification.   (and we shouldn't overemphasize the need to classify it from a range of feeling depressed, depressive moods and a full-on lingering depression, the sooner you deal with it, the better; that's all you need to know)

The thing with mental illnesses in general is that we raise awareness for it being an illness, so not the fault of the affected person, in order to assure some general social acceptance. But to the affected this is some sort of half-curse, because they do actually have the hands closest to the lever and in the end nobody can do it for them. Because that's reality: whatever it is that is bothering you so much, you will probably have to put up with it for the rest of your life, meaning yourself and in realtime. It sucks yes, but what I so often miss in the debate is resilience. Yes it helps to talk, but I for myself have reached a point where it would do me no good to repeat those thought processes, so I try to actively avoid them, constructively when I have the strength and trough other means if not...

I needed to get that off my chest, any further comments are pointless, be well people.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2018, 03:03:24 pm by dragdeler »
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Trekkin

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Re: depressed
« Reply #13 on: March 15, 2018, 05:44:25 pm »

The radiostation at work has been talking about depressions the whole week (some silly social engagement) and it is appaling to me how often the conversation drives to platitudes, even when they interview the so called experts. When to me it seems so apparant; I'm not pretending to have eaten wisdom by the spoonful, but you will be hard pressed to find an instance of depression that can not be resumed to the following logic:

The cause for depressions stems from expectations (to others, yourself or the world in general) that go unsatisfied, and somebody who suffers depression knows, or has persuaded oneself that that expectation will forever remain unmet.

This is not just inaccurate but dangerously so. Depression is an actual chemical disorder (albeit one that, like most brain problems, is hard to provide an etiology for with certainty); it's not something you can philosophize yourself into or out of, but a physiological problem with the brain. Part of the reason we try to raise awareness of it as a disorder is because it is one, and one that's often responsive to pharmaceutical intervention in concert with therapy. Yes, coping strategies are important. Yes, depressive people in particular should be encouraged to take an active role in managing their problems. But to try to blandly lump it all together as "you believe your expectations will go unmet so suck it up" is to ignore the actual medical problems at play, which is dangerous -- and to dismiss the blanket statements of experts as "platitudes" is to mistake medical caution for ignorance.

In short, there is a legitimate medical problem with a roster of legitimate medical solutions at play here, and we should be encouraging those with depression to explore them rather than dismissing the "so called experts." Resilience is all well and good. Resilience combined with a respect for the magnitude and nature of the problem is unequivocally better.
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dragdeler

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Re: depressed
« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2018, 06:51:16 am »

Yes you can measure a chemical disorder (whatever that means, every brain is different) and you can also treat that... But if you really do lack a neurotransmitter in a particluar region, all you can do is drowning your whole brain with these by medication. I'd be more inclined to say that depressions cause tought patterns that can be proven and measured. And what I'm attempting to say is that you do yourself good if you consider it a disorder of your whole being (body mind and soul) not just a mechanical disorder of the brain.

I dont want to get too polemic but what you describe sounds more as a symptome than a cause to me; brains don't just start lacking something from one day to the other.

I do admit that i sound more discouraging than intended. Never hesitate to get help!

Ans btw I'm not dissmissing all experts, just the notion you might actually say something sensible in an interview of less than two minutea.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2018, 06:57:31 am by dragdeler »
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