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Dealing with a Crush

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HotDiggityDog:
So I met this girl a while back. Insanely beautiful, smart, and we share all the same interests in common. Very cliche and everyone with a crush says this, I know, but it was true and one of the first real connections I've felt with a girl.

Fast forward, I find out she has her old high-school crush back in her life and she's fawning over him. He's going to come down for a visit and they're going to see where things go. Now I'm devastated, but try to move on. After all, she's just taken. She's not single, that's fine, I was too late. I tell her about my feelings just so that I can move on, and she says she's proud that I was courageous enough to tell her, even if she doesn't reciprocate them.

Fast forward further, it doesn't work out because he's a giant conservative and she's very liberal like me. I flat-out mention my feelings for her again, on a whim, and she tells me that the only reason why she won't date me is that she's "emotionally unavailable," doesn't find me attractive, and that my financial situation isn't the best.

The third one I can live with, since I can change that. The first one, I have no idea what that means. The second one though stings an insane amount. To click with someone's personality that much but to have them not like your face? It burns. And it's been two years since I met her, at this point I'm doubting if it's even a crush I still have on her or if it's unrequited love. What the hell am I supposed to do in a situation like this? I want to move on but I don't want her out of my life, and the constant flirtation she gets from every single guy while I'm around her just makes my heart ache even more.

Zydramir:
Move on friend. It sucks to think about and it's gonna hurt like a mother for a while, but if she's flat out saying these two hurtful things and being emotionally unavailable due to them, your romantic energy is best spent elsewhere.

Think about it this way. If she felt that connection the same way you think you do, would she care all that much about your face or would she think you're as beautiful as you find her?  If she felt the same way, your financial situation wouldn't be a wall, it'd be a mutual challenge.

Let it go. There will be other beautiful girls you connect with. Don't beat yourself up over one who can't see through what really matters.

ChairmanPoo:

--- Quote ---only reason why she won't date me is that she's "emotionally unavailable," doesn't find me attractive, and that my financial situation isn't the best.

--- End quote ---

I'm sorry to say that this reply is clear as water. Dont waste yoir time

NRDL:
Cut your losses and run. Fall in love with somebody who reciprocates. I'm honestly impressed that she was able to just out and out say the exact reasons for her lack of attraction. Use it to take care of any lingering hopes that may remain.

Don't take it personally, and especially avoid obsessing over this.

nenjin:
She's said she's not in to you with as many excuses as a girl can give. You're just going to have to accept that, and not it let it wreck you.

As someone who has been crushed on and had to tell them no, you have my condolensces. But take a moment to ask yourself....why were you crushing on her? Was it just her looks? That might help you find some closure if you think about the real reasons you're infatuated with someone. For me, I know it usually took the form of this one sided romance fantasy I had in my head that had no basis in reality, some idyllic relationship that was more about my wants than the actual person I was interested in. When I woke up to that, it deflated my crush pretty quickly.

edit

Consider the fall of the creator of Rick and Morty. While this was sexual harassment and not a real friendship as you're describing, consider the narrative going on in that guy's head around this woman. How he obsessed over her and imagined them as a couple, to the point he was paying more attention to his obsession than the reality around him. Love can be blind and not always in the uplifting and accepting way.

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