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[Antioch]

[deleted]

[ChairmanPoo]

yes, but only if there is no one else" IS hurtful bs. All things considered your response was measured

You did well, man. You did well.

[Antioch]

I don't even have to go to that ball, I'd just be her +1......

Still wondering what I am going to say when she gets home though.....

[ChairmanPoo]

nothing!  ask her if she had fun. End of story

[Antioch]

nothing!  ask her if she had fun. End of story

I mean today, like I said the conversation was over text and she's my flatmate, actual ball isn't for another month or so.

Won't change my mind on the issue though.

[nogoodnames]

Just tell her how it made you feel and why you're upset.

Now this is just speculation, but are you sure she meant it as "I will only take you if I have no other option" and not something else? Maybe she took your earlier hesitation as reluctance, and thought you were just agreeing later out of politeness.

[martinuzz]

So a roommate of mine asked me out to a ball, I was kinda flabbergasted and didn't really give an answer, I was mostly wondering if she was serious.

Next day I text her that I did want to go.

She replies something along the lines of "If I can't find someone else I will gladly go with you"

I was kinda hurt by the "if there is no one else" and replied something like" If you would only go out with me because there is no one else, then you are better off finding someone you like taking more to the ball"

She hasn't replied in a couple of hours.

Now I feel like shit because I did want to go with her.

On the other hand I am glad I did text her back because I usually have way too much fear of failure to do something like that and I still think replying "yes, but only if there is no one else" is kinda bs.

Any advice?

Ok writing that already made me feel somewhat better. However I still have the "I fucked up, but at least I wasn't too chickened out to try" feeling

You stood up for yourself. Nothing wrong with that. You did right.

[karhell]

Just tell her how it made you feel and why you're upset.

Now this is just speculation, but are you sure she meant it as "I will only take you if I have no other option" and not something else? Maybe she took your earlier hesitation as reluctance, and thought you were just agreeing later out of politeness.

Seconding this. Efficient communication is complicated, and often, words come out wrong, or get interpreted the wrong way. Best make sure this wasn't a misunderstanding first.

[ChairmanPoo]

Just tell her how it made you feel and why you're upset.

Now this is just speculation, but are you sure she meant it as "I will only take you if I have no other option" and not something else? Maybe she took your earlier hesitation as reluctance, and thought you were just agreeing later out of politeness.

Seconding this. Efficient communication is complicated, and often, words come out wrong, or get interpreted the wrong way. Best make sure this wasn't a misunderstanding first.

No dont. Dont bring it up. It slunds a bit like beating a dead horse. The cleaner and quicker the better considering you have to live with this person