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Author Topic: Lets Play Imperialism! Every dog has it's day.  (Read 6168 times)

Knave

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Armok the beautiful.
« Reply #15 on: April 04, 2019, 08:07:50 am »

Just posting a quick PTW! Definitely looks like a game I should try at some point. Like an alternate-reality Victoria.
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Seamas

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Armok the beautiful.
« Reply #16 on: April 05, 2019, 02:54:54 pm »

1836
Armok Gets Scrappy



So things started to get interesting just where I left off.

First thing, I decide to set out on a new policy of fiscal responsibility.  We were hemorrhaging a significant amount of precious money on interest and always deep in debt.  So, my new rule since 1830 has been to do my best to keep our coffers in the black, or not carry a debt over for more than one season.  We're making a little more money now, but there's just never enough.  One reason was the totally unsustainable trade subsidies we were offering to minor nations; I had to scale it back so that we could earn a damn dollar but it cost us a lot of our preferred trading status.

Meanwhile other major nations are beginning to strike it rich with overseas profits.  I'm insecure without a developer unit, and we're always so broke I just cant help but feel jealous that they already have one.

In 1831, Woudmary decides to go to war with As Sha'ashoh, our southern neighbors and our desired conquering grounds.  This is tricky, because Woudmary is our only ally since 1822 and I don't want to have to fight with them over that minor nation.  Neirlau, the major nation most closely aligned with the scoundrels in As Sha'ashoh, promptly declares war on Woudmary in order to protect their interests.  At this time, we're asked to step in to back up Woudmary. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Not wishing to get entangled in a war we're not really ready to fight, I consider declining.  But two considerations win out: backing out on our ally harms our diplomatic relations with them significantly, and I don't want to give up our hard-earned friendly relations.  (Also backing out when things heat up is craven behavior.)  Second, taking a war footing with Neirlau gives us a pretense for invading As Sha'ashoh, and we can therefore seize the country without offending our allies.

Soon after, Vinosce also gets into the fray by declaring war on Woudmary.  Vinosce and Neirlau are not allied but are mutually at war with both of us.  They are nations of average strength, so I'm not too worried about much actual fighting occurring.

About this time we enjoy a burst of intellectual activity and train up lots of skilled workers.  I think it's when the working people of Armok discover coffee.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Over 1832-33 I'm able to grow the military a little bit, and we get a General Saratsk. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Finally we got the developer unit.  A couple of countries are already making big bucks and I feel we're late to this game.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

At last we strike As Sha'ashoh in 1834.  Feeling confident in our numerical superiority, I direct our small army of 16,000 men [ooc: force size 16] to take the capital directly.  I had anticipated that a quick victory there would make the whole country roll over easy to us.  But by declaring war, the minor nation submits to Neirlau for protection on account of their previous non-aggression pact.  Oh well. 

Our valiant forces fight a hard-won battle, suffering some fairly grievous casualties but carrying the day, overcoming the fortifications of the capital city.  EuchreJack's 1st Regulars are first into the breach, or so they claim... Half-medals are awarded all around!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In the winter of 1835, I dispatch a division of troops northwest to seize Masn, which they do without much difficulty.  High on our own success, more monuments to our own greatness are erected!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The 2nd Council of Governors is held.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We aren't invited.

By this time, the minor nation of Makajas has been completely dissolved and occupied by forces of Oishaba and Iprikoy.  For a brief moment, anarchy prevailed in the nation and we had a chance to seize the rich province of Saz without repercussions.  I dispatched troops there but Oishaba's army got there first and occupied it.  It's probably for the better, our forces on the border with Neirlau's half of As Sha'ashoh are barely adequate to hold the line as it is.  The enemy has dug in and built fortifications along the new border and we're not strong enough to take them.  Neirlau did attempt an attack on our line earlier this year but it was repulsed by our troops.

Meanwhile, our navy has gotten it's first taste of combat:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sort of anticlimactic, I know.  There's four ships of the line in service now.  We are ranked second-to-last in military strength.

So now, it's fall of 1836.  Here's the situation.

These are the current borderlines drawn up in the south.  Much has changed:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In the north country, we've established a new supply line linking rich coal deposits with our port in Sumo province.  Once we can get  a commensurate supply of iron, we'll be ready to double our steel production.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In the heartland, take note that many of our interior villages have developed into towns!  This has been one of great successes of the 1830's.  5 of our 7 provincial settlements have developed.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Meanwhile, abroad, our misadventures in foreign policy.  So, by now it's clear that our investment in an embassy in Makajas early in the 1820's was a bet on the wrong horse.  Trying to make up for lost time, I've been courting Agombo with all the money we can spare.  We have an embassy there now, and we're buying up property in that country as fast as we can scrape together the dough, financial austerity measures be damned!  We've secured some good resources there (that's our developer next to the cotton field). 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Now if we can just woo the Agombo government to join our empire as a colony, we'll be doing alright.  But Neirlau is already ahead in relations with them and I fear that we may well lose that race, and all of our foreign investment to boot.  This part I always find the absolute hardest angle of this whole game.

Here's some statistics to consider.  At least there's one category in which we are excelling.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

More vitals:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

For the next five-year plan:

  • Catch up on technology.  We're about 3 or 4 developments behind the curve right now.
  • Throw money at Agombo until they join our empire, before Neirlau gets them.
  • Scale up steel industry by developing northern iron reserves.  Scale up all industries.
  • Develop army and navy – try to push those orange bastards out of our island.  Meanwhile, fortify the border.

Obviously there's no way we can pay for all of this!  So we'll just manage as best we can, I guess.  Perhaps we should hold a bake-sale.
« Last Edit: April 05, 2019, 03:01:20 pm by Seamas »
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EuchreJack

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Now with Foreign Entanglements.
« Reply #17 on: April 05, 2019, 08:59:58 pm »

Relations with Oishaba are deteriorating.  I would suggest throwing money their way before your 2 on 2 becomes a 2 on 3.  Especially since you seem to be on the weaker side.

It was probably best to go to war.  You might lose, but you probably would have become isolated and lost anyways if you hadn't.

I forget exactly how wars and diplomacy go in this game.  I seem to recall something about a white peace automatically in a certain time frame?  Or maybe not.
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Seamas

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Now with Foreign Entanglements.
« Reply #18 on: April 22, 2019, 11:17:34 pm »

1841

This thread's not dead yet. 

Circumstances in Armok have taken a turn for the worse on the international level. 

I carried on with developing the navy, it's certainly the most affordable way for us to invest in the military, being so short of funds.  All it requires is fabric and wood, and guns, which we can supply ourselves.  All of our cash is needed to bribe foreign heads of state, and keep up with technology.  But we were awarded an admiral!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Currently we're building a ship-of-the-line about every 9 months.

Once Agombo submitted to Neirlau, I gave up on foreign investment in disgust.  We got screwed with Makajas, got screwed again by losing Agombo, so much money has been thrown down the drain it makes me sick.  We had some investments in Agombo, too, which I suppose about paid for themselves by the time they were confiscated.  With the money staying in our country, I was able to finally invest in some needed R&D and the army.

At last we upgraded our engineering prowess:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This opened up the iron deposits of Sumo, our northernmost province, to development.  For years the rugged geography of the area has hindered it's incorporation into the national economy in any meaningful way.  I wasted no time in getting the region integrated into our supply chain.

Here's an overview of how development has reshaped the area since 1836:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A depot is going in right where our engineer is standing.  Once the iron of Sumo was accessed, I upgraded our steel factories to handle the new influx of ore.

A task force of three ships I sent to harass Neirlau on their own coast met with action and managed to destroy the enemy.  That raider must have fought like hell though.  Well, these are green crews after all.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This squadron later went on to distinguish themselves further in disrupting the seagoing trade of our enemy. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Then, in winter of 1841, all goes to hell.  EuchreJack was right, I should have buttered up Oishaba while there was time.  But, there was no money.  Now things are going to get rough indeed. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Some things to consider, that give me hope:
  • The enemies we already had, Vinosce and Neirlau, are mostly toothless now and so I'm not worried much about them.  Vinosce is not a threat militarily, and Neirlau has been pinched well and hard by our blockade of the port and raids on their coast, which is hamstringing their economy.  I don't think much trouble will come from that quarter for now.
  • Although Oishaba and Iprikoy, the two most powerful nations, have declared war on us (craven scum) our trusty ally Woudmary has stuck beside us and honored the alliance.  So they're in our corner.

I redeploy the navy to blockade colonial ports of Hololonau and Sini to put pressure on the aggressors.  But keep them close by, to protect our coasts when the time comes to fend off invasion.

Meanwhile, Iprikoy assaults our northern border with a force of colonial troops from Hololonau.  We're able to repulse them in the mountain passes, this time.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The political situation.  I'm trying my damned hardest to woo Posukjat, a minor nation blessed with abundant forests.  I'm throwing the lion's share of our money to them to win them over before somebody else does.  But judging by the chart, we're not ahead of our competition.  Instead of investing in resources for exploitation (look how that went last time, in Agombo.) only to lose them when the country submits to a competitor, I think I'll go all-out and try to buy the damn country outright.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I've been trying to pitch an alliance to Ermessene, the only remaining neutral nation, but they decline.  They're too smart to get tangled up in this mess.

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EuchreJack

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Armok - International Pariah.
« Reply #19 on: April 23, 2019, 04:04:17 pm »

Ouch, sometimes it sucks to be right.
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Seamas

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Armok - International Pariah.
« Reply #20 on: April 28, 2019, 04:23:41 pm »

1845
The Furious Forties

Well, all hell has broken loose in the last few years, but not the way that one might have expected.

In 1842, Iprikoy sent another force of infantry to seize Sumo, on our northern border.  They overcame our defenders, and briefly held the province for about six months before they were driven back out.  It was tempting at that time to push on with the force I'd sent north, and march across Hololonau to seize the country from Iprikoy, but another opportunity beckoned.  Oishaba's holdings in the south, two provinces laden richly with coal, iron, gold, jewels mines all developed by our adversary, were left under-garrisoned and not fortified.  They had been scrapping a good deal with Woudmary since the declaration of war, and I guess they neglected to reinforce their holdings on our isle.  So the force that took Sumo was instead dispatched back south to march into Saz and occupy the territory.

An overview of the naval engagements occuring about this time:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It's been a busy couple of years for the navy.  They have really made us proud!  And saved us from certain annhiliation.  Without a strong land army, they have really been the ones keeping the enemies away, and even striking back at them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I missed my chance to take a snapshot, but the Fearsome was sunk, our first ship way back when.  Armok rest their souls.

In Saz, casualties were heavy.  After a long and bloody engagement on the plains, our troops were victorious.  The order of battle:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Seizing this province allowed us to cut off a good deal of Oishaba's supplies from the interior.  We took control of some coal mines but they lost most of their dirty jewel and gold access. So, that felt good.
Our transport ledger after taking Saz:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No sooner had the soldiers' drunken spree come to an end when I sent the whole force westward over the mountains in the spring of 1843 to capture the real jewel, the province of Al Dalus and damn the torpedoes.  Our casualties were grievous, but the day was won.  Part of the problem is that we're beginning to face more advanced land armies with technology we haven't yet acquired.  All the money for technological upgrades, at this time, was going overseas to buy Posukjat outright. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The cost may have been worth it.  Our transport ledger after the second province is conquered:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Behold the grandeur of this foreign land I'm so hot on colonizing:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The trees, man!  It's nothing but trees!  And a little mineral appetizer on the side.  Anyway it was costing a fortune, but we were beginning to pull ahead by 1843 and I felt that Posukjat would be ours, with a few more $10K grants.

Then, the poo hits the fan out of nowhere in the fall of '43.  It's not all bad poo, but it really shakes up the global balance of power overnight.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Our ally seizes one capital, and the sleepy Ermesenne comes out of hibernation to decapitate Neirlau. 

In the fall of 1844, Posukjat finally submits to our control.  Woohoo!  Now, we just have to find a way to protect the colony from invasion.  Hmm, that's not going to be easy, considering how stretched thin our military is, especially after the bloody campaign of the last two years.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Unfortunately, the troops relocated to Al Dalus left Saz vulnerable to Iprikoy's troops in the south.  I though they were too few to matter, but turns out they've upgraded their artillery and our small garrison was no match for them.  So, we'll have to pry Saz back from their cold dead fingers to get those jewel trains running again.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Iprikoy's garrison in Makajas City has grown to disturbing size, indicating they are clearly preparing for an attack on our newly acquired southern provinces.  The change in the border scenario with Neirlau means that their deeply entrenched army just west of our province As Sha'ashoh is no longer a threat to us - they wont leave, but they won't attack either, now that they are a stateless force without direction.  That allowed us to free up a lot of troops from that border and move them to Al Dalus to help stave off the Iprikoy offensive.  An engineer is also at work building a fortification there.
Overview of the Southern region as it is now:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The political situation in 1845. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No longer sending a fortune overseas to our new colony, we were at last able to dump money back into our R&D department and get ourselves more modernized.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Selected vital stats for review:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Priorities now:
  • Grow the army at maximum speed, and upgrade it, to secure control over our southern border and colonial holdings.  Urgent.
  • Retake Saz from Iprikoy before they have a chance to dig in and fortify.  If they do, and we can't displace them, we'll lose access to all that wealth in the Southern hinterlands.  Also urgent.  I have a force in place now, preparing for the assault.
« Last Edit: April 28, 2019, 04:30:14 pm by Seamas »
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EuchreJack

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Armok - International Pariah.
« Reply #21 on: April 28, 2019, 09:32:49 pm »

Wow, two down!  Things are starting to look up!
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Knave

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Armok - International Pariah.
« Reply #22 on: May 01, 2019, 09:08:52 am »

Yeah things are not looking too shabby! Did you reform EuchreJack's regulars after their untimely demise? :P
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Seamas

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Armok - International Pariah.
« Reply #23 on: May 08, 2019, 03:37:53 pm »

1851
The Fabulous Fifties


Greetings countrymen!  How the last few years have smiled upon us. 

With Neirlau and Vinosce knocked out of the war, our attention was turned to defeating more formidable opponents, Oishaba and Iprikoy.  Our staunch ally, Woudmary, stuck it out with us through the darkest years of the war, when it wasn't clear which way things would turn out.  They took their share of the blows, mostly waging a naval struggle in the eastern ocean with Oishaba, and some engagements on land.  Meantime, our navy mostly tangled with Iprikoy, meeting great success defending our coastline from aggressors.  This was pivotal, since our army was spread thin, engaged in a mad land-grab in the South, and later in the North, which would have been impossible without security on the high seas.

Our naval engagements since 1845, in no particular chronological order, give a pretty good picture of the affair.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

These two larger naval battles were glorious victories for us, hard fought, and narrowly won.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As a result, we pretty much enjoy control of the seas by 1851 and don't have to worry much about it.  We're modernizing our fleet as well, with new ironclads:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It will be a shame to retire our man-of-war fleet, within about ten years I would guess.  Repairs are made to the damaged ships but we'll not be building any more wooden warships.

Meanwhile, on the land front, our advances in the south were going splendidly but the army was stretched thin.  A token force left behind in Saz after it's capture was overtaken by a force from Iprikoy back in 1844.  They proved difficult to dislodge after a first assault by our troops - particularly because their forces had modernized somewhat, and ours had not.  We were no match for their new siege artillery batteries.  Casualties were light, and I sent a larger force in immediately to finish the job.  When the second wave was turned back, after taking some losses, I took command of the damn battle myself (going into tactical battle mode - ugh).  In 1845 a third and final assault with a larger force of troops carried the day and once again opened up the railroad for our jewel trains.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The order of battle:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Also in 1845, the council of governors is held.  The top contenders of the decade:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Further prospecting in the southern mountains revealed even more extensive riches than we had ever supposed.  More gold, and more jewels!  A worthy conquest.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In 1847, after the spring thaws, our army marches west over the range and seizes Al Zifabbih from Iprikoy, consolidating our territory in the southern mountains.  This territory too is rich in minerals, mostly coal and iron.  Delightful.  All available troops are hereafter stationed in Al Dalus, in our new level 2 fortress, to hold back the large army Iprikoy has mustered in Makajas City.  Both sides are dug in deeply and a stalemate ensues.

With Posukjat at last under our control, the money we were sending overseas works wonders for us back at home.  With glee, I invest our funds into technology and we're able to begin modernizing our army for real.  It's a long and expensive process (those two techs worth $12,000 each), but by 1851 all of our land troops, even our overseas colonial detachments, are carrying the most modern weaponry.  EuchreJack's 1st Regulars were re-formed from a cadre of selected grizzled veterans, currently stationed in Al Dalus, I think.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

By 1848, we were at last starting to make some real money in Posukjat.  It is such a relief not to be draining our treasury on their account any more.  We've got more disposable income than ever!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Our developer has been buying up forest land as fast as the funds allow, and our forester is at work developing them for export.  The returns are growing steadily.  This is our cash cow, very important to keep defended.  (It's a peculiarity of the game.  Better that it be a colony, creating cash flow for us, than our own territory if we reclaimed it from an invader.  Which would supply us the resources but not liquid cash, which is much better for us.  Also, we don't have to shoulder the burden of developing transport infrastructure for the resources in a colony.  They also don't let us build fortifications on their land, which hinders our ability to protect it.  So, it's complicated.)

Statistics in 1851:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Amazingly, modernization of the military has brought us to the top of military ranking.  Who would have thought we'd see the day?

Currently, we're steamrolling Iprikoy's colonial troops in Hololonau, bracing for a heavy assault on their capital city.  The cotton fields of the northeast make the campaign worthwhile.  We're wasting no time getting infrastructure established there to bring the cotton in.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The world situation in 1851:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I expect we'll have the whole island under our control by 1855, the next council of Governors, and I damn well intend for us to be nominated!  Glory to Armok!
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Haspen

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Every dog has it's day.
« Reply #24 on: May 19, 2019, 04:23:21 am »

Here to join the nation of Armok (PTW!).
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Ghazkull

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Every dog has it's day.
« Reply #25 on: May 20, 2019, 01:21:39 pm »

PTW as well, i hope you get to Great War tech cause i never managed to get beyond the tech level you currently possess^^
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Seamas

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Every dog has it's day.
« Reply #26 on: May 30, 2019, 02:49:34 am »

1856
Poised for Conquest


Greetings countrymen!  Eventful happenings of recent years, since 1851, have brought us to the precipice of greatness. 

Not a lot happened for the first years of the Fifties, but our economy expanded and hummed brilliantly, and frankly, we began to feel a little complacent with our filling coffers, the war with Oishaba and Iprikoy winding down into a whimper, and pursuing a shameless land grab noble campaign of political unification on our home isle in the southern and northern peripheries.

In the south, the fortress in Makajas City fell to an assault by our troops, in which EuchreJacks' 1st Regulars were blown to smithereens again.  First into the breach, they were just too brave to live.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
With this victory, Iprikoy's foothold in the South was finally erased, and we faced no further hostile forces in that region except for the self-governing colonial remnants of the failed state Neirlau.  Forsaken by their capitol and cut off from international trade, the garrisons of these final two provinces mouldered, and their arsenals of flintlock muskets and smoothbore cannon grew rusty and obsolete over the years.  So I anticipated an easy victory over these holdouts.  By 1855, the last of them were eradicated.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Meanwhile, more mineral deposits were discovered in our new territory.  These mountains are loaded! 

Hololonau City, in the North, proved a much harder nut to crack.  This garrison of Iprikoy's colony, well-fortified, consisted of modern troops with plentiful artillery.  It took some time to amass a large enough force to attempt an assault.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I had to personally command it (ugh), for it was much too important to leave to our moronic generals.  A long, bloody assault commenced and we narrowly secured a victory.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In 1855, the Council of Governors is convened.  As I promised to the good citizens of Armok, we are selected for 2nd Greatest Nation!  Unfortunately we're so unlikeable that not even Woudmary threw in a few votes on our behalf.  The gap between us and Ermesenne is huge, for they enjoy the goodwill of most of the world.  I suggest we use more brute force to make the world recognize our greatness.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A very modern naval engagement occurs this year:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Pretty soon I expect our ships-of-the-line will be forcibly retired.  (I can never remember when this happens, but when it does, you lose them all instantly.)  Our naval situation is pretty strong, so I haven't been building many ships and focusing on the army instead.

This province we took from Neirlau turns out to be pretty well-endowed with timber and further iron deposits.  It was worth every musket ball.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Some statistical data from the bean-counters:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Lastly, the world situation.  There's a lot to consider.  Since 1851, I've been putting investment money back into Agombo, where we lost a good deal of very dear monies when the bastards submitted to Neirlau back in the late 30's.  Since Neirlau's demise, Agombo re-opened for foreign investment, and I snatched up as much property as we could get our hands on, and beat the other nations to it, largely.  So we've been making a nice premium on Agombo's gold, coal and cotton with very little up-front anguish required this time around since a) we have money to burn now and b) the development of the resources has already occurred, so we don't have to boil that cabbage twice.

In diplomatic relations, Agombo was rapidly sliding towards our adversaries' fold so I chose not to pursue a meaningful diplomatic relationship, having already been skinned once.  We're smarter now.  Let them accept the colonization of another country, and just go in there and invade it once and for all, says I.

Sure enough, in 1856, this is just what happens.  Oishaba claims Agombo, which makes it fair game for us to conquer. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Meanwhile, in hopes of diversifying our foreign possessions, I've begun courting the minor nation of Hinh Lic.  We'll see where that goes.  At this junction in history, we're poised for a great expansion in territory and economic force.  Our military is modernized and there's plenty of cash in the war chest.  Even with the resources we've already accessed on our isle we're far from tapped out on consumption.  Nearby Norarun and Sini are both colonies of our enemies, and are really just ripe for the plucking.  Meanwhile, Ermesenne grows stronger.  Soon there will only be three nations to divide the world up, so we'd better get our share now. 

Newcomers Haspen and Ghazkull will be assigned to regiments, to serve their civic duty!
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Haspen

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Every dog has it's day.
« Reply #27 on: May 30, 2019, 08:40:46 am »

What the heck is wrong with Woudmary's economy?

Every time I see a newspaper, Woudmary is short on some material :P
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Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Seamas

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Re: Lets Play Imperialism! Every dog has it's day.
« Reply #28 on: May 31, 2019, 01:38:30 am »

I don't understand what their problem is but they must have millions in the bank by now.  They've been making massive stacks of money off their foreign investments for years.  What do they do with all that cash?
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"One should behave like a gentleman when dealing with gentlemen, and a bastard when dealing with bastards."
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