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RANDOM MAYMAY TIME! XDDD

OOOOOOH, BEEF HAS EXPIRED! AUUUOOH, IT GOT PARASITES!
- 2 (28.6%)
HOW MANY BREADS HAVE YOU EATEN IN YOUR LIFE?!
- 0 (0%)
I. LIKE. JUICE!
- 0 (0%)
HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YER MEAT?!
- 1 (14.3%)
PINGAS!
- 4 (57.1%)

Total Members Voted: 7

Voting closed: August 18, 2018, 03:36:57 am


Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 19

Author Topic: ROLL TO FIGHT COMCAST: CORPORATE FUTURE MINIMALIST ARRGH TEE DEE: EPILOGUE  (Read 71357 times)

HugeNerdAndProudOfIt

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Bobs: Gain Jobs as Janitors in Comcast.
Logged
Don't eat ghosts, that's how we got into this mess to begin with.

Doomblade187

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  • Requires music to get through the working day.
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FLOAT TO COMCAST BRANCH OFFICE, SET SWORD BEACON FOR FURTHER SWORDS.
Logged
In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Screech9791

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>Manually get my gun before cleaning it off.
Logged
it's over

King Zultan

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RIP the brick wall out of the ground and run up the path and plow down the security guards then smash them to death with the wall.
Logged
The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
  • OKAY, FINE.
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((WHOOPS! WAS DRUNK AND FORGOT ABOUT UPDATE!))

LEAP INTO THE SEWER!!
IF ROUTER UNHARMED BY BEING SUBMERGED IN SEWER WATER, HAVE HELPFUL SEWER REPTILES AND/OR MUTANTS BITE/CUT IT OFF ME!
   
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

CABL

  • Bay Watcher
  • Has a fetish for voring the rich
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TURN 5

"Accidentally" clobber Jerry the Security Guard in the head with a pot of coffee when he enters the server room. Apologize profusely and try to clean up the mess/ help Jerry to his feet, while secretly planting a thumb drive with Important Secret Comcast Information on his person.
5 VS 1, 5
JERRY THE SECURITY GUARD'S FOREHEAD IS BLEEDING FROM THE STRIKE! THAT'S OKAY, HE ACCEPTS YOUR APOLOGY WHILE YOU PUT A THUMB DRIVE INTO HIS PANTS' POCKET!

4
((OOC NOTE: I DON'T HAVE AN IDEA WHAT'S THAT BATTLE CATS GAME IS ABOUT, SO DON'T EXPECT ME TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT THE DEEP LORE OF THE FRANCHISE!))
THE CAT BASE IS CONSTRUCTED AND FULLY OPERATIONAL!
(I can tell you the lore of the franchise right now: Some guy made a super weapon for no explained reason, it was an army of cat creatures for no explained reason, they proceed to conquer the world for no explained reason. The only change in the state of the world is that there's more cats. Then they move on to conquering other planets for no explained reason. I'd say that's all you need to know, but you don't even need to know that.
Any further 'lore' is just little one or two sentence blurbs from the in-game descriptions of the individual cats you can acquire and can be pretty much ignored)

Excellent, now that we have a proper base of operations, we need soldiers, let's see if we have a few Cat Capsules lying around and pop those bad boys open.
4
YOU GET A SMALL SQUAD OF TANK CATS!

Bobs: Gain Jobs as Janitors in Comcast.
4-1
YOU SUCCESSFULLY APPLY AND GAIN THE TITLE OF FLOOR SCRUBBERS! HOWEVER, YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR ELECTRICITY TO ACTIVATE AGAIN BEFORE YOU GET YOUR WORKER PDAS AND JOB ASSIGNMENTS!

FLOAT TO COMCAST BRANCH OFFICE, SET SWORD BEACON FOR FURTHER SWORDS.
5, 3
YOU UNSTUCK YOURSELF FROM THE SWORD TREE AND FLY TOWARDS THE COMCAST OFFICE! THEN, YOU PROCEED TO PLANT A SWORD BEACON ON THE BUILDING! TURNS OUT, THE SIGNAL IS TOO WEAK FOR A GOOD SWORD BARRAGE, BUT SOME OF THE NEW SWORDS WILL DETECT IT!

>Manually get my gun before cleaning it off.
3, 5
YOU'VE BARELY MANAGED TO CATCH YOUR SAIGA SHOTGUN FROM THE STREAM OF FILTH! IF YOU SLOWED DOWN A LITTLE, THE SHOTGUN WOULD'VE BEEN WASHED AWAY! TOO BAD THAT THE FIRING MECHANISM IS NOW RUSTY!
YOU MAKE IT SQUEAKY CLEAN AND EVEN REPLACE THE FIRING MECHANISM!

RIP the brick wall out of the ground and run up the path and plow down the security guards then smash them to death with the wall.
1, 6 VS 6-1, 4
YOU FAIL TO RIP THE WALL OUT OF THE GROUND, AND GETS YOUR ARM MUSCLES STRAINED!
AN ELITE SECURITY GUARD SHOOTS AT YOU FROM A GRENADE LAUNCHER, DESTROYING THE WALL AND LEAVING YOU WITHOUT A COVER! SOMEHOW, HAROLD SURVIVES BUT GETS BLASTED AWAY INTO A SUBWAY STATION ENTRANCE!

((WHOOPS! WAS DRUNK AND FORGOT ABOUT UPDATE!))

LEAP INTO THE SEWER!!
IF ROUTER UNHARMED BY BEING SUBMERGED IN SEWER WATER, HAVE HELPFUL SEWER REPTILES AND/OR MUTANTS BITE/CUT IT OFF ME!
   
5-1 VS 6
YOINK ATTEMPTS TO JUMP DOWN THE MANHOLE! HOWEVER, THE ROUTER STRENGTHENS THE GRIP, SO THAT YOINK HANGS UNDER THE MANHOLE, BUT DOESN'T DROP DOWN! EVENTUALLY, YOINK RUNS OUT OF BREATH AND PASSES OUT!

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT UNCONSCIOUSNESS: WHEN YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUS, YOU CAN ONLY MAKE ONE AND ONLY ACTION: TRY TO WAKE UP!
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

King Zultan

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Run in to the subway station and get into a train, if there isn't a train run into the subway tunnels.
Logged
The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Screech9791

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>Head to the branch office and shoot it up. with my Saiga-12 automatic shotgun.
Logged
it's over

Yoink

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  • OKAY, FINE.
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IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT UNCONSCIOUSNESS: WHEN YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUS, YOU CAN ONLY MAKE ONE AND ONLY ACTION: TRY TO WAKE UP!
DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

HAVE NEAR-DEATH OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCE
GAIN SHITLOADS OF ENLIGHTENMENT AND STUFF
ALSO POSSIBLY LEARN SECRET METHOD TO DEFEATING OR BEFRIENDING EVIL STRANGLE-Y MONSTER ROUTER
   
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

HugeNerdAndProudOfIt

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Bobs: Now that your inside, bud off micro bob's that will infiltrate the Ventilation systems.
Logged
Don't eat ghosts, that's how we got into this mess to begin with.

Ozarck

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Bid farewell to Jerry and leave work for the day. Purchase some mini peppermint patties from the grocery store and put them in the fridge at home. Then go to the E.B.M. (Electronics Black Market) and gather parts for my dark web ISP.

Pixl_lover

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I'd like to join, if I still can...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spawn in millitary barracks, where I, with my comrades was celebrating another successful kebab removal operation when the Internet suddenly stopped working.
Logged

Doomblade187

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NOTE YOINK'S PREDICAMENT, TURN HIM INTO A FELLOW SWORD.
Logged
In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Failbird105

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Darn, meatshields, but no firepower, oh well Gather up my money and bring the troops, we're gonna go shopping for cat food
Logged

CABL

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OH MY SCIENCE, I'VE ACCIDENTALLY DESTROYED MY TURN 6 WRITE-UP FROM MY CLIPBOARD! *Double facepalm.jpg*

ANYWAY, I'LL REDO THE TURN TOMORROW, THE GAME IS NOT DEAD!
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.
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