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RANDOM MAYMAY TIME! XDDD

OOOOOOH, BEEF HAS EXPIRED! AUUUOOH, IT GOT PARASITES!
- 2 (28.6%)
HOW MANY BREADS HAVE YOU EATEN IN YOUR LIFE?!
- 0 (0%)
I. LIKE. JUICE!
- 0 (0%)
HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YER MEAT?!
- 1 (14.3%)
PINGAS!
- 4 (57.1%)

Total Members Voted: 7

Voting closed: August 18, 2018, 03:36:57 am


Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 19

Author Topic: ROLL TO FIGHT COMCAST: CORPORATE FUTURE MINIMALIST ARRGH TEE DEE: EPILOGUE  (Read 11914 times)

CABL

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IT'S THE YEAR OF 2034! THE MEGACORPS HAVE BECOME INSANELY INFLUENTIAL AND POWERFUL, WHICH RESULTED IN THE EVENTUAL WORLDWIDE CORPORATE AUTHORITARIAN NIGHTMARE! ONE OF THESE MEGACORPS IS COMCAST, WHICH HOLDS WORLDWIDE MONOPOLY ON THE INTERNET, AND IS ALSO YOUR INTERNET PROVIDER! COMCAST CHARGES INSANE SUM OF 145 USB MONTHLY FOR 75/MBPS, EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD 1.9MB DOWNLOAD SPEED AT BEST! AND NOW, JUST WHEN YOU WANTED TO WATCH SOMETHING, THE INTERNET PROVIDER SAID THAT THEY HAVE TECHNICAL ISSUES, AND THE INTERNET WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE FOR 2 WEEKS!

ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT! TODAY, COMCAST WILL SMELL NAPALM AND TASTE LEAD, AND YOU SHALL BE THE ONES WHO'LL BRING THESE THINGS TO COMCAST!


Spoiler: RESTRICTIONS (click to show/hide)

ANYONE CAN JOIN, AND THERE ARE NO WAITLISTS!

THE STARTING LOCATION IS EITHER STREETS OR A HOUSE (YES, YOU ALL SHARE A SINGLE HOUSE! IT'S ALSO IN A PRETTY SHITTY CONDITION, REGARDING THE RESILIENCE OF THE WALLS AND FLOORS!)

Spoiler: CHARACTER SHEET! (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 15, 2018, 03:17:55 am by CABL »
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

A Viking's Tale - Come and plunder!

I'm not as active as I've used to be on the forums, but I'll still visit it.

CABL

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Re: ROLL TO FIGHT COMCAST: CORPORATE FUTURE MINIMALIST ARRGH TEE DEE!
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2018, 07:10:48 am »

Quote from: 0cra
Name: 0cra
Appearance: Typical early 21st century civilian. Has green eyes.
Gender: Male
Wounds: Bandaged leg, burned lung (Very vulnerable to choking and strangle grips), Broken arm (-1 to actions requiring two hands).
Other: Has a M249 light machine gun with an underbarrel shotgun and flashlight.

Quote from: Yoink
NAME: Yoink
APPEARANCE: n/a
GENDER: MALE
WOUNDS: Pain from broken balls (-1 to all actions)

Quote from: King Zultan
NAME: Billy Bob
APPEARANCE: Looks like a homeless man.
GENDER: Male
WOUNDS: Drunk (-1 to all finesse-related actions and ranged combat. +1 in close combat brawls)

Quote from: Ozarck
NAME:Sally Secretary
APPEARANCE:Secretarial
GENDER:Female
WOUNDS: Second-degree burns across the body (-1 to all physical actions), Strong pain (-1 to all physical actions)

Quote from: HugeNerdAndProudOfIt
Name: Bob.
Appearance: Looks like a regular ol' Bob.
Gender: Bob.
Wounds: None.

Quote from: Doomblade187
Name: Sword
Appearance: Sentient internet-connected sword.
Gender: Sword
Wounds: NONE

Quote from: Failbird105
NAME: Cat Jobs
APPEARANCE:

GENDER: Tom
WOUNDS: Broken tail, slight pain.

Quote from: pixl_lover
NAME: Igor
APPEARANCE: The kebab remover guy from my profile pic
GENDER: Male
WOUNDS: Bandaged torso, Wounded leg (-1 to movement)

Quote from: Rockeater
NAME:Jane Adams
APPEARANCE:Human rights activist
GENDER: Female
WOUNDS: Choking in a gas cloud (-1 to all actions until the cloud is diffused or the person escapes it), Burnt eyeballs (-2 to almost all actions, will require eye replacement or special ear training for eliminating the malus)
DEAD!

Quote from: The_Two_Eternities
Francis Monogram is DEAD!

Quote from: ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES
SHAGGY IS DEAD!

Quote from: JustCallMePops
Phil Swift is dead!

Quote from: Leodanny
NAME:Sarge
APPEARANCE: guy in a shirt and jeans with a shotgun
GENDER: attack helicopter (what an original joke...)
WOUNDS: NONE

Quote from: Imic
NAME: BROTHER BRIOCHE
APPEARANCE: A CRAZY LOOKING FELLAH IN A BEIGE CULTIST ROBE WITH A SWORD, DAGGER, GUN, LARGE EXPLOSION-PROOF BAG OF EXPLOSIVES AND SEVERAL OTHER WEAPONS
GENDER: MALE
WOUNDS: NONE

Quote from: Lovefool
NAME: Steve Burns
APPEARANCE:
Spoiler: Here, this image (click to show/hide)
GENDER: Male
WOUNDS: NONE
« Last Edit: September 11, 2018, 09:23:23 am by CABL »
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

A Viking's Tale - Come and plunder!

I'm not as active as I've used to be on the forums, but I'll still visit it.

0cra_tr0per

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Re: ROLL TO FIGHT COMCAST: CORPORATE FUTURE MINIMALIST ARRGH TEE DEE!
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2018, 07:14:17 am »

Name: 0cra
Appearance: Typical early 21st century civilian. Has green eyes.
Gender: Male
Wounds: None
Other: Managed to obtain a Saiga-12 automatic shotgun.
Logged
Sigtext
Latest quote:
Little Billy: Daddy's here and he's cooking? And he let's me drink beer!? OH BOY! Ecstatic
Overlength quote count: 2

Yoink

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Re: ROLL TO FIGHT COMCAST: CORPORATE FUTURE MINIMALIST ARRGH TEE DEE!
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2018, 07:17:15 am »

STUMBLE DRUNKENLY INTO ANOTHER CBL RTD

UNPLUG MY ROUTER AND EAT ALL THE HOMMUS I CAN GET MY GRUBBY HANDS ON
   
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

King Zultan

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Re: ROLL TO FIGHT COMCAST: CORPORATE FUTURE MINIMALIST ARRGH TEE DEE!
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2018, 08:35:30 am »

NAME: Judge Harold Goldstein
APPEARANCE: A man in judges robes because he's a judge.
GENDER: Male
WOUNDS: NONE
Logged
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

CABL

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TURN 1

SPAWNS (FOR THOSE WHO DIDN'T CHOOSE SPAWNING LOCATIONS): 1, 2

Name: 0cra
Appearance: Typical early 21st century civilian. Has green eyes.
Gender: Male
Wounds: None
Other: Managed to obtain a Saiga-12 automatic shotgun.

STUMBLE DRUNKENLY INTO ANOTHER CBL RTD

UNPLUG MY ROUTER AND EAT ALL THE HOMMUS I CAN GET MY GRUBBY HANDS ON
   

2
0CRA GOES OUTSIDE, CARRYING SAIGA-12! HIS INTENTION IS TO FIGHT COMCAST AND THE OTHER CORPORATE BASTARDS, BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY! UNFORTUNATELY, HE HAS NO IDEA WHERE TO FIND THE LOCAL COMCAST OFFICE, NOR THERE ANY PARAMILITARY DEATH SQUADS TO SHOOT AT NEARBY!

STUMBLE DRUNKENLY INTO ANOTHER CBL RTD

UNPLUG MY ROUTER AND EAT ALL THE HOMMUS I CAN GET MY GRUBBY HANDS ON
   
5, 2, 1
YOU STUMBLE IN MY RTD!
THE DONGLE OF THE ROUTER REFUSES TO COME OUT, DESPITE YOUR BEST EFFORTS!
THERE'S NO HOMMUS, SO YOU ATE EXPIRED, STINKY TACOS INSTEAD! LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL NEED TO VISIT A TOILET!

NAME: Judge Harold Goldstein
APPEARANCE: A man in judges robes because he's a judge.
GENDER: Male
WOUNDS: NONE
YOU WORK AS A JUDGE! AFTER YET ANOTHER CASE OF LOITERING, WHICH ENDED WITH THE DEATH ROW FOR THE DEFENDANT, YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME AND DISCOVER THAT THE INTERNET IS DOWN FOR 2 WEEKS! THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE FOR YOU, AND YOU DECIDE TO FINALLY SHOW THE MIDDLE FINGER TO THE CORPORATE AMERICA AND FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO HAVE 24/7 INTERNET!
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

A Viking's Tale - Come and plunder!

I'm not as active as I've used to be on the forums, but I'll still visit it.

0cra_tr0per

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>FIND A MAP OF THE AREA, THEN SHOOT UP THE NEAREST COMCAST OFFICE
Logged
Sigtext
Latest quote:
Little Billy: Daddy's here and he's cooking? And he let's me drink beer!? OH BOY! Ecstatic
Overlength quote count: 2

Ozarck

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Spoiler: CHARACTER SHEET! (click to show/hide)

Spawn Sally in the corporate office, holding a large mug of hot coffee (poisoned), intended for the CEO or other BigWig at my Insidious Place of Employ: Comcast International HQ!

Yoink

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DEFECATE EXPLOSIVELY UPON MY INTERNET-BRINGING MACHINE! THAT'LL TEACH 'EM!

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, I NOT LIKELY TO COME BACK FROM MISSION OF REVENGE ANYWAY. SO NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT CLEAN UP.
     
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

King Zultan

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile

DEFECATE EXPLOSIVELY UPON MY INTERNET-BRINGING MACHINE! THAT'LL TEACH 'EM!     
This is why we can't have nice things.

Go and find a weapon, then go and get a phone book and look up the address for the Comcast HQ.
Logged
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

0cra_tr0per

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile

DEFECATE EXPLOSIVELY UPON MY INTERNET-BRINGING MACHINE! THAT'LL TEACH 'EM!     

Sigtext'd.
Logged
Sigtext
Latest quote:
Little Billy: Daddy's here and he's cooking? And he let's me drink beer!? OH BOY! Ecstatic
Overlength quote count: 2

HugeNerdAndProudOfIt

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Name: Bob.
Appearance: Looks like a regular ol' Bob.
Gender: Bob.
Wounds: None.

DIVIDE INTO TWO BOBS!!!!
Logged
Don't eat ghosts, that's how we got into this mess to begin with.

Doomblade187

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Name: Sword
Appearance: Sentient internet-connected sword.
Spawn: my home
Action: Hack Comcast
Logged
In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.

CABL

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TURN 2

>FIND A MAP OF THE AREA, THEN SHOOT UP THE NEAREST COMCAST OFFICE
1
YOU'VE FAILED TO FIND ANY MAPS, SO YOU DECIDED TO FIND IT AT YOUR OWN! YOU FALL DOWN THROUGH THE OPEN MANHOLE, FALLING IN THE STREAM OF PISS AND SHIT!

Spoiler: CHARACTER SHEET! (click to show/hide)

Spawn Sally in the corporate office, holding a large mug of hot coffee (poisoned), intended for the CEO or other BigWig at my Insidious Place of Employ: Comcast International HQ!
2
THE LOCAL BRANCH OFFICER OF COMCAST SAYS THAT HE DOESN'T LIKE SMELL OF THE COFFEE, AND ASKS TO MAKE A BETTER ONE!

DEFECATE EXPLOSIVELY UPON MY INTERNET-BRINGING MACHINE! THAT'LL TEACH 'EM!

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, I NOT LIKELY TO COME BACK FROM MISSION OF REVENGE ANYWAY. SO NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT CLEAN UP.
     
1
YOUR EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA SPRINKLES THE ROOM, LIKE A SHOWER! UNFORTUNATELY, THE DIARRHEA STOPS ONCE YOU'VE SPRAYED THE CEILING WITH LIQUID SHIT! OH, AND THE ROUTER IS STILL CLEAN!

Go and find a weapon, then go and get a phone book and look up the address for the Comcast HQ.
1, 4
YOU HAVE FOUND NO WEAPONS WHATSOEVER, AND IT'S EXTREMELY UNLIKELY THAT THE HOUSE HAS ANY!
THANKFULLY, YOU'VE FOUND A PHONE BOOK! THE LOCAL COMCAST OFFICE SHOULD BE 5 BUS STOPS AWAY, SO GO AND TAKE A RIDE!

Name: Bob.
Appearance: Looks like a regular ol' Bob.
Gender: Bob.
Wounds: None.

DIVIDE INTO TWO BOBS!!!!
3
YOU DIVIDE INTO TWO BOBS! HOWEVER, THEY AREN'T EVEN WHEN IT COMES TO THE SIZE AND MUSCLE MASS!

Name: Sword
Appearance: Sentient internet-connected sword.
Spawn: my home
Action: Hack Comcast
1
THE WHOLE CITY HAS NO INTERNET, YOU DUMBASS! ALSO, YOU GET A FATAL ERROR AND SET YOURSELF ON FIRE!
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

A Viking's Tale - Come and plunder!

I'm not as active as I've used to be on the forums, but I'll still visit it.

Ozarck

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wow. Four ones, a two a three and a four.

Take the coffee out of the room and microwave it for thirty seconds, then return it to the Comcast Branch Manager.
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