What *I* would do, in using DFHack to enable multiplayer, is not have a single core game/server servicing everyone else, but assign and hand out 'areas of influence' to each new playerfort-gameinstance. With full peek'n'poke of wider world data (movements of armies) all happenings within a given area of influence for a player would be allowed to happen exactly as a single-player game would, but the data read about these things would be divested outwards to the other players to ensure their wider-world statuses (beyond their own AOI) is tightly synched to the one allowed to generate it. Any beyond-AOI world-happenings calculated by a player-instance would be moot. (Is there a way to neuter the attempt to move armies around, maybe?)
Departing from one AOI and arriving at another would require an Air-Traffic-Control-like handover sequence, including enforcing chronologies between two versions. I think DFHack has pause-control so it could force a game-pause on a game that is too far advanced (to send/receive a moving world-event across with all others involved), as the only half-way workable say to do it. This of course includes playerVplayer (or playerHELPSplayer) interactions like raiding and trading parties.
The beauty of this system (if it can be made to work) is that it would allow new joiners and retirees (just force a pause, reassess AOIs, then resolve all synchs and desynchronisations) and possibly even fudge unplanned link-drops from players, using the last-known-state (and possible span of chronology) to hand over the lost AOI to other player(s). If that player rejoins, handback of AOI may include pushing assumptions the live net of players had made about the progression of externalities (around the troublesome playersite) back upon the player. Probably rewinding their clock a bit, which might also push DFHack's API abilities somewhat.
That's how I would try to do it, based on my somewhat limited knowledge of the tools actually available, but I still think it's a fool's errand to actually attempt without a ground-up rewrite of the actual DF core, which is even less likely to happen.