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Does Armok approve of goblinny dwarves and dwarfy goblins

Yes
- 9 (16.4%)
No
- 4 (7.3%)
Acquire alcohol to resolve philosophical quandary
- 42 (76.4%)

Total Members Voted: 55


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Author Topic: Cog the Blind Drunk  (Read 12049 times)

Loud Whispers

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« Last Edit: November 22, 2018, 07:39:27 pm by Loud Whispers »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2018, 06:44:22 pm »

This is Sarvesh Ochreknight.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is not her story.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This is Cog the Drunk's story.

In the year of 1065, Cog the Drunk got into a brawl with the adventuring swordswarf Sarvesh Ochreknight. Even when blinded, Cog refused to surrender. It was then I decided to load up DFusion and play forever as Cog, the Blind Drunk.
His skills are mediocre, his attributes are a mixed bag and he has no companions, money, food, water, alcohol, status, weapons or armour.
He also no longer has a pair of working eyes, what with his ocular introduction to a copper sword and all.

I believe in Cog.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Cog's ears, nose and hands are still very much functional. These sense weren't even given to blind adventurers of older DFs. Cog can make a name for himself in this world.


Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: World (click to show/hide)
The world is 1065 years old, a huge world with all the history that goes along with that timescale. I plan to get a souvenir from every single civilization in the world, which should make for some interesting encounters. Currently starting in the bottom right Dwarven civilization (marked by the little square), going the only way currently possible - north. That way civilization lies, and bandits and bogeymen are unlikely to prey on poor Cog. Besides necessary evils like this use of dfusion, the whole thing will be vanilla all the way. This blind playthrough is blind, in both senses of the word. I have yet to delve into DF2014, and all of its surprises shall truly be surprises. With all that said... Cog walks to the mountainhome.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2018, 06:45:39 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The Hamlet up north was a ghost town. Not a single soul could be heard, and when Cog started milling around all he could discern from the silence was that everything was ruined. There was no alcohol left in sight, nor a single berry sown in the fields. Night was approaching, and with too little time to turn back and no shelter available in the ruins, Cog set off North.

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Unfortunately, Cog's journey was immediately blocked by two incredibly daunting obstacles at once, a river and the beginnings of a mountain. Were this mountain on the right side of the river, the one high above the savage savannahs where the night creatures could not get Cog, it would have been possible for Cog to possibly set up camp there. There was only one thing Cog could do in the face of such danger. Press on, and pray the river was less than 4 spans wide.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
'I'm never going to go back into rivers ever, ever again.'
Spoiler: Cog would have to go back into rivers.

I kept waiting for an alligator that never came, or for Cog to draw his last breath as he floundered onto the river banks. I'd actually tried to return to the side of the river I started, only to realize I was in too deep to turn back and live.
If the river was any wider, Cog the Drunk would have drowned to death in water.

Soaked, half-drowned but alive, from there Cog made it to a settlement that still showed signs of life, with a few hours of Dusk left before night.

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When Cog entered the drinking hall, a local Drunk called Onget greeted Cog and inquired as to whether he would be able to kill one of several hydras in the area. The hydras appeared to be the unfortunate reason why one of the Dwarven hillocks was depopulated. After Cog declined, engaged in some casual chit chat, Cog began to assemble a party for his adventure.

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One drunk Dwarf became two, then three. Cog, Onget and Asen - the three drunketeers, would together find adventure or death!

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They rested for the night, picked up supplies, and set off North. Cog replaced many of his old, soaked clothes with new, finer raiment "gifted" to him by Mayor Onul of the Hillock, though he kept his old socks. His new toga was perfect for the hot Savannah, but he took a coat along with him in preparation for the rain and cold in the journey ahead of him.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2018, 06:46:33 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The drunken three left the town at first light, stopping briefly to drink at the river and fill a bag with water for the journey ahead. Apparently an army of unknown allegiance showed up when Cog left, but I didn't see anything alarming and no one gave Cog grief.

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There were apparently at least two hydras nearby, who between them depopulated at least three hillocks. These were not safe times to be a drunk, but the Dwarves still drank and were merry under the shadows of megabeasts.

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Cog called out to his companions to be sure that the two pairs of feet following him were still Onget and Asen.
Onget and Asen both replied, but there was a surprise - two more voices called out, complaining about how everything was nicer underground. Dwarven guards, guarding a tunnel, who helped guide Cog to a depot full of squabbling Dwarves where the uproar of merchants was deafening. The depths of the caverns awaited, and where we were going we didn't need eyes.

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2018, 06:48:15 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Cog traveled the depths, going Eastwards. The path wound its way south briefly, before turning all the way back north. There was a great deal of blind walking, stopping off for a rest at some Fort underground.
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They slept near the stairs in a small cabinet room, taking some spare cloaks for warmth; finding the stairs again was easy enough. Cog stretched his legs, took a calm stroll outside, enjoying some plump helmets and set off at a brisk walk.
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Almost walking off the road into a chasm. Cog righted himself and climbed back up to the road, only to find that his companions were running away screaming and yelling. Calling them out as cowards yielded no results. The last thing Cog heard of the two was this:
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At least Onget had humour in his cowardice. They left Cog alone on the roads, whatever made them flee in terror seemed content to let Cog be. That's what they get for running away.
The walk north was long, and considerably more... empty, without two pairs of footsteps behind him. There was one horrible moment where Cog encountered a Giant Toad.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Failing to digest Cog, Cog managed to punch and bite his way to freedom, sprinting away from the giant toad. Not many Dwarves could claim to have had their head swallowed by a Giant Toad and live to tell the tale, but it was a tale Cog was keen never to repeat. Amazingly, down the road Cog found a certain two Dwarves he'd never imagine he'd see again. Which was fortunate, as Cog lost track of how many days he'd spent down in the tunnels - unless the other two turned back and ran down the road for him there was no way they would've been able to catch back up to him.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Unbelievably, they did. There was a reunification of sorts, drinks were shared and everyone chatted, only interrupted by the attacking cave crocodile.
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Everyone ran from this thing terrified and screaming, sprinting down the road all the way.
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Any time the noises ran towards us and not away from us sprinting was the first and only acceptable response.

After another day's rest and sprinting, the trio reached a Fortress and a junction in the road. Most importantly, they had reached a ramp - a gateway to the surface world.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sweaty, dehydrated and terrified, the three emerged from the tunnel slightly disorientated - with what was pilfered from the depths Cog bought a simple silver warhammer. When Toads and Crocodiles attacked him in future he would be better prepared.

I don't like the caverns.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2018, 06:50:41 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The Drunken three made significant travel headway north, once more under the open sky. And once more, Cog began to ponder whether the caverns or the overworld were the worst of two evils. The sun was falling in the western skies and something was following them. They bolted to the nearest Dwarven hillock and barged right into the drinking hall, closing the doors shut behind them. Whatever it was outside, it did not like the prospect of walking into a bar full of angry dwarves during drinking time. If that was the case, it was probably not a horrendous abomination in possession of multiple venomous appendages, and more likely just a large predator.

...Or a scout. A worrying thought, one to be solved with wine and spirit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
To pass the time Cog began inquiring the locals for directions and information on the surroundings. Someone who kept being mentioned in conversation was the Dwarf called Domas Boardbored, who presumably began their adventures to kill boredom. I never could find Boardbored, leading me to suspect Domas was already on a travel, or Cog had walked right pass Boardbored unnoticed.
Failing to find the traveler Dwarf, the drunks prepared for a night in the drinking hall, safe from whatever waited outside.

Cog awoke with the sun still in the Western sky, still set in dusk with dawn yet to come. He could also smell something strong: Smoke.

Startled, Cog began investigating the surroundings, barging into Hillocks with his warhammer drawn, smelling the rooms for any signs of smoke. One particularly good suspect was this fella:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Unfortunately the magma crab did not smell particularly of smoke. It was also a tame one, as it had not set Cog on fire and freely roamed one of the Hillocks full of Dwarves. Nor did it mind Cog smelling it. Getting especially worried by mysterious sources of smoke, Cog decided it would be prudent to set off at once. The risk of a nighttime encounter was preferable to a nighttime inferno, and at the very least the night itself would merely be a benefit to Cog in a battle.
Cog made it past one street before he was blocked by an especially imposing brute.
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The assailant was faster than the three Dwarves, charging into them with furious frenzy. They stood their ground, meeting the Blind Cave Ogre's challenge head on.
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The Dwarves were having none of its shit. They had put up with enough in the caverns. They were leaving the Hillock. This ogre would not keep them here.
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Asen screamed out in agony as the ogre crashed into him, sending him tumbling. Cog soon stopped caring however, as the Ogre turned its attention to him.
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It began strangling him, striking him and biting him. Cog tore free desperately, running while the blood flowed from his body, catching his breath before it left him. Several paces away the sound of a fight raged on and Cog chose not to run away, charging back into the fray.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This was a battle of endurance the Ogre lost. Cog and Onget punched, kicked and bit like cornered honey badgers, with Cog even resorting to beating the blind cave ogre with a sack full of plump helmets when his warhammer wasn't showing any significant progress.
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They broke everything in the Ogre, yet it still fought on.
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Eventually the battle would come to an end when Cog began strangling it to death, using his right forearm to close the ogre's windpipe with a chokehold.
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Cog the blind Drunk had just killed Winesieges the blind cave ogre.

It was a messy, arduous ordeal that nearly killed him as well, leaving Onget with a broken toe and bruises all over and Cog with a broken finger, damage to his lungs, liver and guts in addition to obligatory bruises and major lacerations to his upper body.
Cog called out to Onget, rejoicing in this victory and recoiling against the tiresome dread when he realized that one Dwarf in their company had stopped calling back. That Dwarf had stopped crying out in pain.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
That Dwarf was dead.
There was little time to mourn the fallen comrade of drinking and traveling; the smell of burning only increased as the Hillock was attacked. The sound of fighting could be heard in the drinking mound, and Cog did not believe it was a mere bar fight.
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Asen was given a quick burial, and Cog and Onget fled into the night.
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The invasion had begun and there was no way they could take on so many soldiers while their injuries were so severe.
They made it to the hills to rest, chased by scouts all the way.
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In the night the scouts walked right over the mound where the Dwarves were encamped. They swarmed over the forest, the swamp and the Hillock... Few other Dwarves would have escaped into the night to safety. There were no other towns nearby.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2018, 06:51:44 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A light rain awoke the Dwarves, and with it the smoke, sorrow and fire of yesterday was washed away. There was nothing to turn back to now, so they made their way north to the Dwarven Fortresses of the faded swamp.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Through the mist of rain, in the distance, stood the Dwarven Fortress Archbasis. Upon arrival the Dwarves found no guards talking about the weather, nor merchants haggling their wares. A dwarfless depot stood full of some food for sale, but there was no one to barter with.
They left, seeking the northernmost Fort - Syrupknives.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Syrupknives was likewise empty. Perhaps the Dwarves were underground, but there was no desperate rush to go back underground, as at this point the tunnels would only turn back south and most other things in the underground were hostile and lethal. Onget and Cog stood on the frontier of Dwarven civilisation, it was no surprise that the guards and merchants preferred not to stand outside. Maybe they were marching to save the Hillock from invasion, or maybe they too had succumbed to raids.

The Dwarves prepared for one last night under a civilised Dwarven roof before they were to set forth into the uncharted lands beyond.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Despite the loss of dear Asen, this was a true testing moment in their adventure.

The Drunks Cog and Onget now sat by a fire within the walls of Syrupknives, eating the scarce meat provided by a Kingsnake they bludgeoned to death. The Dwarves consistently moved northwards with the idea that a journey to the forests would be considerably less suicidal than a journey through the savannahs and deserts. Now that they reached the northern frontier? Both were not convinced that either way was as safe as first anticipated. There was still time to change course and go west, or maintain course and go north, but one thing was for sure - they would not be going home south.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
'Memorial to Asen,' post-it art courtesy of the mastercraftsdwarf Dunamisdeos

Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2018, 06:52:59 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Drinking a toast to their fallen comrade, they decided to set forth into the Northern forests. Whilst trying to cross a river Onget caught dinner by catching a stingray. It was a very delicious stingray, moreso when heated on a campfire. It had to be butchered with a sharp gabbro rock, and Cog wasn't all that of a good butcher, so he made a mess of the stingray. Nevertheless it provided much more meat than you'd expect to find from a river-stingray.
Night fell soon after, and the Dwarves prepared to sleep by the campfire for 6 hours - Cog decided that there was no longer a need to sleep till dawn, Cog could navigate just as badly by night as by day.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Cog awoke in a pile of drunken Dorf, the moon still out, the fire still burning and he felt a cool breeze blowing from the west. Perhaps the ocean was somewhere near over the western horizon.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Rather thirsty, Cog went down to the river to drink and wipe the water from his eyes. There was no longer a copper sword in his memories, but a drunk named Asen buried in a burning Hillock somewhere south. Onget remarked that at least they had roast stingray, and a bronze colossus hadn't murdered them in their sleep. Which is a fair point, and with that, they set off.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The marsh got quite hilly, making the journey somewhat disorientating at times.

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Cog even found a river crossing in a most unusual place, a corner of the world where three rivers are born.

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They journeyed until at last, the northern forests were in view (figuratively). The Dwarves appeared to have walked a bit too far west however, as the northern forests were to the east of them. Navigational adjustments were made accordingly.

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2018, 06:55:01 pm »

Cog crossed a river, fording at a point where it was most shallow. Onget was still a far more proficient swimmer however, and made it across before him. Cog caught a peregrine falcon, tearing off its wings with his teeth before it had really died. Unfortunately, there was not much to eat. Onget solved the food problem by killing a honey badger however, and this honey badger was delicious.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Half a day's travel brought the duo to the first signs of civilisation: An elven retreat. It was a long way off from the eerily empty northern Dwarf outpost of Syrupknives, it was doubtful that many, if any Dwarves had made this journey in recent times.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
At last, the great forests had been reached. It was time to engage in a cultural exchange with the elves.
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It took a while to find just where all the Elves were. No amount of Cog and Onget's intrepid exploration of the forests gave any insight as to where the entrances to the elven homes were, not a single sound could be heard on the forest floor.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The forest floor was quiet... But the trees were alive with sounds - language, with words spoken. The Elves were living high in the forests above the undergrowth. The Elves were peculiar creatures.
Surprisingly, climbing was not nearly as hard as it should've been. Cog walked towards the sounds of conversation, and as soon as he bumped into the tree trunk he began to ascend. The Elves, noting that something scrawny and loud was blindly making its way up the canopy inquired Cog with kind words.
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It appeared that as Cog began pulling himself atop the solid mango tree, all sound amongst the treetops had ceased as the Elves fled away. Whilst Cog hauled himself up, Onget remained resolutely on the ground, and a surprised elf found himself knocked over by Cog.
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Sanera was a good talking companion if only for the reason that there was no one else to talk to in the tree layer. Sanera surmised life in one word; nature. Sanera didn't care about Elven politics over who ruled Torchteal, and he shared Cog's dislike of the current weather. Sanera was also kind enough to allow Cog and Onget the privilege of resting in the retreat until sunset, and Cog trusted this elf.

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Sanera's pity for the Dwarven cause was reflected in Cog's own pity for Sanera. A poor, lonely, sad Elf, who for one night only joined in on Cog and Onget's stingray feast. A somewhat worried Sanera was placated in the feast; it was elf kosher because the stingray attacked first, Onget explained. Cog made no campfire that night, out of respect for the elves. It might be a bad thing if he accidentally burnt their homes down in the night. Tomorrow they would seek out a forest retreat a short way to the east, promisingly named Trammeldrunken. The ultimate goal was to find a marketplace, so as to acquire souvenirs, and hopefully find a backpack or a flask. Carrying everything around in a sack was not terribly helpful in any way, and kept the adventure limited to the range of rivers.

Interestingly the Dwarves favoured togas whilst the Elves favoured shirts and skirts, I imagined this meeting to be akin to Greeks and Romans encountering one another for the first time. Or maybe these elves were just effeminate cannibals. The sheer scale of Forest Retreats struck me - they were massive. Cog didn't climb to the top of any tree, and I lost track of how high he climbed. I don't even think he made it halfway to the top. They were growing these trees too strong for their own good, it'd take a hell of a long time to cut just one down.

As an aside, in the original thread, a hilarious derail began at this time questioning how a blind Dwarf could not only tell the gender of an Elf, but even the textile material of their underwear, well surmised by TempAcc:
I now have a mental image of cog accidentaly knocking the elf over and being all like "oh I'm terribly sorry, uh, *pat pat pat* mister elf"

Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2018, 06:57:00 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Cog and Onget made their way from Senaca's tree to another retreat to the east, some place called Drunkenmuddles or something. The Elves may have had a drinking tree, but wherever it was, they were hiding it from Cog and Onget. Along the way however, the Dwarves did find some elven archers talking about all the great beasts they had knowledge of roaming the wilds. They were both trying to get the other to kill great megabeasts.
Cog asked one of them if they'd like to join them on their adventures. One obliged.
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The other saw the life of patrolling, not as boring - but as safe, choosing to stay behind.

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I was somewhat concerned that there was a fair chance that an elf willing to join two Dwarves on an adventure before even knowing their names was stark raving mad or melancholic, but as it turns out Quathari Toothbride was just near-fatally bored of life in the forest retreats and wished to see more of the world. I suppose when you're immortal you have a lot of free time and eventually run out of things to do.
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Traveling before dawn, the three adventurers made it to a home tree just as the sun was reaching over the horizon. Cog couldn't see what the home tree was, find a way in, or hear anyone talking atop it - and Onget and Quathari were lousy at describing what it looked like.
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So they went to the nearest other landmark, which turned out to be a market. Which was great, as Cog was just looking for a market - and had accidentally stumbled upon one in the twilight of dawn.

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A few early-rising Elves chatted amongst themselves as the two dwarves and the one elf archer approached.
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Bins stacked full of mangoes were laid out in rows. On further inspection of the market, Cog came to the realization that everything was mangoes.
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An elf on the far side of the market, quickly realizing that Cog was not eying his mangoes but was instead looking at those of a rival, began shouting for attention.
This kickstarted the mass-awakening of the entire market of mango.
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Mangos here, limited supply! Mangoes here, very cheap! There were even doctors professing the health benefits of mangoes - mangoes they sold!
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Though I do question the marketing strategy of just shouting mango... It was certainly loud. One unified mass of elves selling mangoes.
The mangoes certainly smelled great and would be a valuable food to bring on the journey as they were light, and probably full of essential vitamins (as the elf doctor said). At first Cog thought there was the issue that Quathari's people didn't use currency, but this wasn't a problem as Cog had no money anyways. Then Cog realised: Their currency was mangoes. With that said however, Cog didn't really have that much to sell for mangoes either. The last trade goods he had (some fancy clothes) were traded for the silver warhammer, and he certainly was not going to give up his warhammer or his clothes for some blasted mangoes.
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So he traded what he could; the last of his stingray meat, a portion of badger meat, and all for an equal portion of mangoes. An authentic dwarven-crafted piece of sharp rock was also thrown in on top of the deal, though it didn't make much of a difference either way. That is also the story of how the Elf named Alala became the first elf to sell something other than mangoes. And so Alala had the privilege of being the only elf to be shouting 'authentic honey badger meat' amidst a torrent of 'mango!'
I should hope that Alala manages to maintain his new business on selling something that isn't mango.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Went to a shaping tree, couldn't tell what it was or where it was and so just left for the north.
There was a wide expanse of forests and brooks, but the journey was calm - there did not seem to be many things other than the occasional dragon in these forests. For a moment it even seemed as if there weren't elves.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Sure enough though, the adventurers made it deeper into the heart of elven civilization.

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2018, 06:58:22 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Cog continued northwards with Onget and Quathari, reaching the Forest Retreat of Sparkelelens, a fair bit north of Plaitstaves. Onget killed two honey badgers along the way, and there was a brief stop for rest at the last forest retreat within a day's walking distance. The Elves there didn't really have much to do either. No wonder Quathari was so bored. I highly suspected the Elves there were also not at the top of the food chain... I think this is why they didn't sleep on the forest floor.

Interestingly the market in Plaitstaves was empty, but the one in Sparklelens had a wide variety of tropical fruit (lychees, coconuts, dates and mangoes) - with some of those fruit coming from Plaitstaves. Their wealth flowed north, with exception to mango town. Also interesting is that their markets were paved with rock, but the Elves showed no other signs of masonry or stonecraftship. I wondered if the Elves had collaborations with Dwarven masons a long time ago, or if the Elves grew their forest retreats upon the remains of some older civilisation.

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Cog was also slightly confused when he found another Quathari, though this one did not care to join him on his adventure, content with gardening amongst the treetop.
Around this time I also wondered if a blind Dwarf could walk on the treetop without having to cling onto the tree's branches for dear life. And so, with some worry... Cog let go of the tree.
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Comfortingly, Cog didn't plummet to his death. He also got a good look of the Elves' idea of a treehouse.

It isn't a treehouse.

It's just a tree.

They left before dusk to a chorus of pansy elves all corroborating "DON'T TRAVEL ALONE AT NIGHT" to which Cog replied "I don't care one way or another." And he drank some honey badger black pudding brewed in an elven barrel he pilfered from an abandoned elf market, leaving into the night. Besides, they warned against traveling alone, there were three of them, that was far away from alone.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
'Snoop Mango,' an engraving of a notable Elven Hemp/Mango dealer courtesy of the epic craftsdwarfship of Alfrodo.

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2018, 07:01:16 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We immediately left north after a brief rest, with Onget getting too friendly with the local Elves.
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They snuck out in the night after a brief nap. Cog reached for the bag in his hand and fished out a barrel and mango.
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Cog drank the awful concoction of honey badger blood, watered down and cooked, washed down with mango - it was all part of a healthy balanced diet!
Well, it was a diet. Maybe not healthy or well-balanced, in any sense of the phrase.

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Cog traveled the night looking for something meaty to cook. Strangely the night was quiet besides the chattering and plodding of his good traveling associates; despite the warm airs no animals sought to enjoy the warmth and soothing night in these tropics. Usually something would go out of its way to try and eat Cog, or see him and bolt away - there was however, nothing in these jungles. Perhaps everything that lived in these jungles only surfaced in the day, or the Elves had eaten them to extinction.
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Eventually the trees grew too dense and the marsh too forbidding to hunt, sooner or later someone was going to get split up or eaten by crocodiles. Cog stopped sneaking and just walked northwards, waiting for the illumination of the day to guide his friends.

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Cog found himself in the middle of nowhere. He continued walking north but it was unusual to find so little of anything, there were only trees and trees aplenty. It seems the jungle he had just waded through was simply too dense for Elves to live within, he did not envy the merchants of Sparklelens who had to travel to and fro with bins of fruit aplenty.
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Cog continued walking north until he found a landmark that seemed familiar; an area of the world that was the birthplace of several rivers. And to the east - civilisation. It was an Elven civilisation, so there was not much in the way of culture beyond trees, furniture, elves and fruit. It was still something, and maybe it looked impressive to the people who could see. Up ahead a group of Elves were chatting and Cog felt this would be an appropriate time to begin spreading rumours, alongside his name of course.
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Cog shared some tales and inquired as to the whereabouts of the nearest northwards settlements, and the Elven clothier Enina was helpful in that regard. They rested on the outskirts of the Elven forest retreat, or whatever the elves were calling it these days, and slept for a while. Upon awaking Cog set up a campfire and readied breakfast, exchanging stories with Quathari and Onget.

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The breakfast meal was quite enjoyable, some fine cuts (crudely sheared from the mutilated corpse of a honey badger) were shared around some boiled honey badger pudding.
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It had been caught earlier at the river sources.
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And Onget and Quarathi finished it off, with gusto.
The journey north was encumbered slightly by Cog insisting on bringing all the remains of the badger with them, and in addition they somehow nearly got stuck on a tree.

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Quarathi was the one to point it out to Cog, somewhere along the tune of "it is terrifying. By the way we're in a tree."
But really I think it amused them to see Cog fumbling around the tree. Whilst he was there he did pick some willow tree leaves, good for chewing or brewing.
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On the way to the Elf settlement the clothier elf had pointed the trio to, they bumbled right into a major elf settlement - one with a market tree. They called it Riddlepear, with the riddle supposedly being in finding out what a Pear was - Cog had never seen one in his life. Although perhaps it is more useful to say he never tasted one in his life, as pears were not sold by the merchant elves nor did they seem to know what pears were.

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The carefully butchered badger remains were exchanged quite amicably for lychees. Cog initially tried trading them for 90 lychees but got haggled down to 15 lychees with the addition of 3 willow leaves. The elf Atiforifafa seemed impressed that Cog could actually pronounce his last name and also seem impressed more when Cog began preaching the medicinal properties of ground-up honey badger bones, nervous tissue and whatever else. 'Eat the honey badger and gain the power of the honey badger!'
The joke's on Atiforifafa, that honey badger wasn't very powerful, but these lychees were lychees of power. Shame on losing those willow leaves though, at least Cog retained a few.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2018, 07:02:23 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Attempting to leave the elf settlement was incredibly difficult, Cog felt restless and and uneasy. Perhaps it was something he ate. Perhaps someone was trying to kill him. Eventually however, he escaped the settlement, rushing northwards with the speed of a hungry dwarf. Quathari ran off to chase something down, whatever it was it must've run away from her because Quathari returned very much alive and well.
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I believe it was a draw.

Traveling through the night Cog was to make 3 days travel with less than 10 hours of sleep.
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We must be close to the shore! WE CANNOT REST NOW!

The travel northwards was without any mark of time or progress to guide the way, even taking into account the fact that if there were any, Cog wouldn't see them. The jungle was dense and there was probably fruit somewhere but even the elf settlements were growing sparse - this was true wilderness.

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Though it was wilderness, it was a very nice wilderness. Cool breeze, warm climate and calm weather, with barely a lick of wolves to send shivers down your spine. It was a tropical paradise, slightly barren of food but likewise holding great potential for exploitation. I didn't think the Elves would jump to the gun to use more than their jungle's resources just yet though.

This weather would not hold true all the time. As a sign of just how much progress the trio were making, things began to grow more unusual. They were beginning to find snow.
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This curiosity was known from the highest mountaintops to the Dwarves, but none of them had seen this much on the ground before. The rivers could now even be crossed without getting anyone's feet wet - each one encountered was frozen over. Cog soon got back on path with the tropical mist returning, but he was definitely on the cusp of the circumstantial forest.

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They passed Cultdune, stopping briefly to have a chat with such an unusually named forest retreat.
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Cog stood in the middle of their forest retreat, so isolated and so far away from the capital elf land. Curiously there was no one there to greet them, no commotion in the trees, no rangers standing guard anywhere. It was a ghost retreat. Cog hesitated to shout out to anybody, deciding that this retreat was too strange, it would be best to move on straight away before anyone noticed they were there.
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Half a day's travel north led them here, finally outside of the circumstantial forest and into Cog's greatest enemy: The river.

But a restless thought occurred. Could it be? Did the ocean lie beyond?!

Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2018, 07:03:49 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
The next river crossing went quite well, there was a slight hitch when Onget appears to have had some difficulties retaining his wits; having to be dragged from the river lest he continue trying to befriend fish.
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The travel North was calm but no longer quiet. Things ran in the woods, fleeing from the adventurers disturbing the ground underfoot.
As night gave way to dawn everyone felt freezing, wrapping their cloaks tightly around themselves. Cog wished he had brought more togas.

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Pausing to brew some tea in a mango wood barrel by a warm campfire, after risking a plunge into a cold river, the trio regained their bearings. Quathari spotted familiar trees to the northwest and both Onget and Cog could smell it too - the unmistakeable stench of Elves.
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Calmdawns, the last Elf retreat on the great frontier - it reeked of Elf. The jungles around it were still quite warm relative to the ever colder surroundings, Cog could see why the Elves were more concerned with this little patch of trees than the hills or tundras that nearly cost him a toe and a foot.

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Cog tried to collect any information from the closest Elf in regards to the surroundings, things like cave entrances or civilizations from beyond the seas. In the end he only appeared to aggravate the Elf after inquiring as to how the Elves protected themselves. The markets were empty, where had the elves gone?
The Elf whom Cog interrogated took this far more threateningly than intended. We left at once when the bowyer started getting panicked.

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Unknown potential threats occupied most of the roads out. Interestingly there was a strong stench of bugbats, reachers, magma crabs and crundles in addition to Elf. Something weird was going on and it gave the trio the confusion and motivation needed to escape unnoticed into the north. Of note is that from the bowyer, Cog also learned that many years ago a human called Nepe Burialallies made a journey to some elf land nearby, it seems we're not the only travelers the world has seen!

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Days and days went by across the wilderness with Cog's supplies of cooked turkey meat dwindling away. He even had to supplement his leaf collection with local ginko leaves, that seemed brewable enough.
Until at last...
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We blundered drunkenly into the end of the natural continent.
Now I just needed to find a way across the ocean, or perhaps under it.
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There was a cave in the distance... I hoped it was not flooded. With any luck the ocean would be frozen.

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'Cog steps boldly into the unknown, off a cliff,' another mastercrafted engraving by notable crafstdwarf Alfrodo.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Cog the Blind Drunk
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2018, 07:04:27 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Following the path of a frozen creek, the trio struck forth for the north!

The snow and sleet thickened as the three marched on, cowls and cloaks hugged tight against the cold. Quite different from the southern tropics, the moisture around them crystallized into horrid gems that required constant crushing to scrape them frosty gems from their skins. Campfires were enjoyed, and mangoes were eaten alongside black pudding and tea. The journey itself was quite calm, with the surrounding forest growing thinner and the land itself disappearing into coast and ocean.

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The maps showed that this area of land was of dubious existence and may or may not disappear depending on the seasons. But in the distance for sure, there was an island covered in trees, with a looming cave overhead visible even in the distance. Well, not visible, but its whereabouts were known to be on that island.
Considering how it was spring and summer approached, Cog gauged they did not have much time to try and ford their way to the island - whose forest was known only as the Perfect Forest.
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Treading on ice at night when the ice was thickest and the temperatures coldest seemed the right thing to do. With Cog being blind the lack of visibility wasn't an issue and all Onget and Quathari had to do was stick close. Walking West for hours, Cog stepped his foot over a most unfortunate thing and withdrew with fright.
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Water - the ice was thawing. Cog tried pushing West even further but it all seemed to end in an encroaching ocean and the moon turning westward. Cog tried turning back but they had all gotten lost and turning south led to nothing.
With nervous plodding they tried to backtrack and after half a day of following the ice and ocean at last they reached solid ground.
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The sun was hours away from rising, everyone was tired, thirsty and hungry from that ordeal. All of the effort was not entirely wasted however, as two icy crabs were caught and would certainly make for a good meal. One thing for certain though, is that the ocean was not to be trusted. There had to be another way through.
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