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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 21580 times)

BigUglyWorm

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Terrible Suggestions Thread
« on: November 04, 2018, 06:39:31 pm »

There are pages and pages of good, solid suggestions, carefully thought out and with thorough consideration given for how to integrate them into the existing game. I think it's high time we make a thread dedicated to unbalanced, ill-conceived, and downright absurd ideas, which almost certainly won't (and, honestly, probably shouldn't) ever see the light of day.
I'll start: a "kick shin" option when targeting legs in combat; if your foot is armored and the target's lower leg isn't, it automatically breaks the bone and causes them to give in to pain.
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2018, 07:42:18 pm »

A workshop workshop. All workshops must be assembled at the workshop workshop before they can be placed
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NJW2000

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2018, 08:10:02 pm »

Add creepers.
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Dozebôm Lolumzalěs

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2018, 01:11:00 am »

A workshop workshop. All workshops must be assembled at the workshop workshop before they can be placed
But the workshop workshop is itself a workshop! I know things like this already exist (only Armok could have made the first anvil, since you need an anvil to make an anvil) but at least the impossible creation happens off-screen.

Unless this is the joke.
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SixOfSpades

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2018, 01:48:55 am »

. . . His forty-sixth beard hair is very long. His forty-seventh beard hair is very long. His forty-eighth beard hair is very long. His forty-ninth beard hair is very long. His fiftieth beard hair . . .

Every time a Butcher stands in one place for more than a few ticks, he should leave behind a pool of blood.

All dwarves should be claustrophobic.

Every time a militiadwarf kills a goblin, or even sees a dead body, he should be overcome with horror and revulsion. (Oh whoops  :-X)

Every dwarf who successfully completes a Strange Mood should turn into an elf.

The game only operates in real time: It takes a full 365 real days to play an in-game year, and you cannot pause or save the game, ever.

And a few of my best ones from the distant past:

Cats should reproduce by asexual budding.

Toady should engage in some lucrative product placement. The text string "dwarven beer" is replaced with "Michelob," low boots are now Nikes, minecarts become Volvos, dwarven syrup is turned into Marmite, and the RNG keeps naming your military squads after professional sports teams.

Adamantine should be a farmable aboveground crop, with seeds available at embark or by trading with elves.

There are no dwarf women, their children simply spring out of holes in the ground. Each muddied soil tile has a 1% chance to generate a dwarf baby every 1st of Hematite.

The game employs realistic lighting: All areas that are Inside, Underground, Dark are represented by completely black tiles. The only way to "see" what is on each tile is by 'k' looking around, and even then, the text is dark gray on black.
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Fleeting Frames

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2018, 02:40:32 am »

The workshops/jobs should require set of tools, which each workshop having their own "anvil". If you don't have the tools, you can't do the jobs, and need to wait for caravan. If you do have, everything proceeds like it always has, so it mainly trips over newbies.

Children should learn faster, heal better and recover faster than adults. I imagine the consequences of this would be terrible for children.

Thousand+ sky z-levels, so we can actually see the clouds and cause weather-based warfare by building skyscrapers and burning coal. The frames will flee the game.

Goblin kidnappers and night hags infiltrating taverns under false identities to leave the map with either children or adults. Not going happen as outdated ancient systems will be wholesale rewritten, not tweaked, especially once in the myth release there may not be any goblins.

CABL

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2018, 04:39:19 am »

Milkable elf women.
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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2018, 05:09:15 am »

Every action has a random chance of the creature tripping.

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2018, 05:26:39 am »

Always online DRM.
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Shonai_Dweller

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2018, 06:47:20 am »

Goblin kidnappers and night hags infiltrating taverns under false identities to leave the map with either children or adults.
You lose the thread. This is a great suggestion (and will work in worlds with neither goblins nor night trolls in case anyone would be foolish enough to counter with the old 'procgen worlds means no kidnapping' argument...).

Imagine the joy of wondering what to do with the hordes of kids who turned up in the last migrant wave only to notice a goblin "bard" casually stroll past stuffing the kids into his instrument case.
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TheBeardyMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2018, 07:17:49 am »

A new ultimate nemesis for dwarves: the "genre savvy goblin".

Hides behind a bush at the edge of a clearing, throws a sock into said clearing, and waits for an unsuspecting dwarf to collect it.
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Lestrage

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2018, 08:26:22 am »

rideable pacifist dragons.
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2018, 09:12:33 am »

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anewaname

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2018, 09:57:30 am »

Insects everywhere!!

All buildings can gain an "infested" attribute, indicating they have insect problems. Wooden buildings can degrade and collapse, beds can become infested and dwarfs can complain about sleeping in an infested bed, being bitten, and become unhealthy. Dwarfs can find bugs in their food.

All unpastured poultry and some other animals will automatically seek out nearby infested buildings and lower the level of infestation.

And, oh yes, undead vermin!
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Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2018, 11:28:09 am »

Lovingly modeled sexual reproduction system for all animals including dwarves. With detailed descriptions that pop up unannounced.
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