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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 464054 times)

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2400 on: October 19, 2020, 05:57:12 am »

Dwarves engrave their original hedgehog men characters on the walls of the fortress, and sometime in darkened and seldom used corners of the fortress they engrave porn of their original hedgehog men characters.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2401 on: October 19, 2020, 08:12:39 am »

If your fort isn't up to the standards of some dwarves they can leave while yelling that they're going out to build their own fort with black jack and hookers.
With random tavern game and nobles.
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Fikilili

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  • "Elves make no sense, change my mind."
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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2402 on: October 20, 2020, 03:05:06 am »

Creating a barn full of nobles will somehow resolve in the creation of a library where dwarves have to pay to get a book.
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"Military? What's that? Something to eat?"

Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2403 on: October 20, 2020, 04:09:51 am »

Dwarves engrave their original hedgehog men characters on the walls of the fortress, and sometime in darkened and seldom used corners of the fortress they engrave porn of their original hedgehog men characters.

Dwarves with "a stunning lack of analytical ability" may steal quires and scrolls to write about the hedgehog men.
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Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2404 on: October 21, 2020, 04:14:09 am »

Some dwarves will now believe that the Earth is flat.
Some others will prove that it is round.
The reality is that they're just a bunch of characters on a flat screen and the ones who realize that are doomed to go insane.
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Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2405 on: October 21, 2020, 04:40:08 am »

Some dwarves will now believe that the world is round.
Some others will prove that it is flat.
The reality is that they're just a bunch of characters on a flat screen and the ones who realize that are doomed to go insane.
FTFY, because you forgot that DF worlds are always flat.
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Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2406 on: October 21, 2020, 04:43:37 am »

Going to the end of a world will cause you to teleport to the other side of it.
Checkmate, flatheads
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Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2407 on: October 21, 2020, 04:45:26 am »

Going to the end of a world will cause you to teleport to the other side of it.
Checkmate, flatheads

TFW you go to a glacier to find the exact place where the pole is and suddenly you eleport to the other side of the world and drown in the ocean.
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Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2408 on: October 21, 2020, 04:51:11 am »

Going to the end of a world will cause you to teleport to the other side of it.
Checkmate, flatheads

TFW you go to a glacier to find the exact place where the pole is and suddenly you eleport to the other side of the world and drown in the ocean.

Should've waited for boats
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Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2409 on: October 21, 2020, 04:53:25 am »

Going to the end of a world will cause you to teleport to the other side of it.
Checkmate, flatheads

TFW you go to a glacier to find the exact place where the pole is and suddenly you eleport to the other side of the world and drown in the ocean.

Should've waited for boats
TFW you try to go around the world to prove that it's round but end up starting a glacier forest retreat.
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Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2410 on: October 23, 2020, 04:22:13 am »

Implementation of giant and miniature dwarves. Giant dwarves will be unique 2x2 creatures living in huge fortress not made for normal dwarves or normal anything. They're also building destroyers and are willing to destroy castles to satisfy their strange moods.
Miniature dwarves are very very very very very very very small individuals fond of industry and ale and forge items with mini-forges. Their fortress are so tiny, you can't even see them in the game unless you happen to place your cursor on it. Dwarves will be tempted to adopt one as a pet, much to the displeasure of the little thing.
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2411 on: October 23, 2020, 05:26:14 am »

Implementation of giant and miniature dwarves. Giant dwarves will be unique 2x2 creatures living in huge fortress not made for normal dwarves or normal anything. They're also building destroyers and are willing to destroy castles to satisfy their strange moods.
Miniature dwarves are very very very very very very very small individuals fond of industry and ale and forge items with mini-forges. Their fortress are so tiny, you can't even see them in the game unless you happen to place your cursor on it. Dwarves will be tempted to adopt one as a pet, much to the displeasure of the little thing.
If a dwarf collects enough miniature dwarves he can build a terrarium, place them inside and allow them to build a miniature fortress and plan to kill the dwarf that captured them.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

SixOfSpades

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2412 on: October 23, 2020, 01:10:19 pm »

If a dwarf collects enough miniature dwarves he can build a terrarium hive, place them inside and allow them to build a miniature fortress and plan to kill the dwarf that captured them.
Once a mini-dwarf hive has grown to at least 100 mini-dwarves & has at least two mini-barons, it can be split to establish a new mini-dwarf colony. All colonies can be periodically harvested for small quantities of mini-dwarf mead.
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2413 on: October 23, 2020, 03:07:23 pm »

Mini-dwarves have bumblebee cavalry.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2414 on: October 23, 2020, 04:34:19 pm »

Hello Spellcrafts players and please welcome our newest addition: mini dwarves.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
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