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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 161741 times)

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2610 on: December 01, 2020, 04:42:16 am »

You know what would make the dwarven-elven cold war more intresting, for the Nazi goblins to show up and start killing members of both sides but mostly the elves.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

muldrake

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2611 on: December 01, 2020, 01:45:03 pm »

Some dwarves refuse all orders and instead go out and randomly mine, claiming to be searching for something called "kripto."  If it is found, it randomly fluctuates in value.  Dwarves who do this will incessantly preach about its virtues and convince other dwarves to abandon their duties too.  Enough "kripto" mining will generate enormous amounts of heat and start fires and even turn rock into magma.  Whenever the value of "kripto" depreciates enough, the affected dwarves will turn pink and start screaming, with blood running down their faces.
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A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2612 on: December 01, 2020, 06:22:03 pm »

Pseudo-Endgame Idea:  The Greedy Diggers.

At some point during the game.

“The Sky Turns 50 Shades Of Grey And A Party Of 7 Dwarves Have Amassed At [WORLD_REGION]”

This message will appear in Fortress and Adventurer mode Dwarves will have an happy thought and there will be increased Dwarven activity in the specified region

After an unspecified amount of time

"The Dwarves Have Dug Too Deep!  Horrendous Screams Echoing From The Deep, The Dwarves Are Unable To Stem The Vile Onslaught And The Denizens Of The Underworld Now Roam The Surface.  This Is A Dark Time For [WORLD_NAME]"

Demons will appear in the world as normal animals would, a fortress militia or adventurer will be able to assault the fortress in an attempt to seal the breach.

Once the militia or adventurer fought though the hordes of demons to reach the breach they will have to perform "The Ultimate Sacrifice" once performed the militia or adventurer will automatically be walled in with the demons and become food for them, The fortress will be abandoned and the dwarven civilizations will send out a new expedition to found another fortress.




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SixOfSpades

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2613 on: December 02, 2020, 09:42:00 am »

"The Dwarves Have Dug Too Deep!  Horrendous Screams Echoing From The Deep, The Dwarves Are Unable To Stem The Vile Onslaught And The Denizens Of The Underworld Now Roam The Surface.  This Is A Dark Time For [WORLD_NAME]"

Demons will appear in the world as normal animals would, a fortress militia or adventurer will be able to assault the fortress in an attempt to seal the breach.

Once the militia or adventurer fought though the hordes of demons to reach the breach they will have to perform "The Ultimate Sacrifice" once performed the militia or adventurer will automatically be walled in with the demons and become food for them, The fortress will be abandoned and the dwarven civilizations will send out a new expedition to found another fortress.

So . . . a normal Tuesday?
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2614 on: December 02, 2020, 10:32:34 am »

Replace DF's theme with...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2615 on: December 04, 2020, 05:43:10 pm »

Some dwarves refuse all orders and instead go out and randomly mine, claiming to be searching for something called "kripto."  If it is found, it randomly fluctuates in value.  Dwarves who do this will incessantly preach about its virtues and convince other dwarves to abandon their duties too.  Enough "kripto" mining will generate enormous amounts of heat and start fires and even turn rock into magma.  Whenever the value of "kripto" depreciates enough, the affected dwarves will turn pink and start screaming, with blood running down their faces.

Necromancers mine for crypt-o-currency. They exhume dead nobles and stockpile them where they create miasma instead of raising them as undead. This creates endless hauling jobs for your dwarves, stimulating the economy.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2020, 05:45:54 pm by Bumber »
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Sky-Streamer

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2616 on: December 04, 2020, 09:26:13 pm »

Better than nothing.
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2617 on: December 05, 2020, 04:55:44 am »

You know what would make the game more fun, half implemented bureaucracy meaning we get all the useless nobles but not the thing that would make them matter. Also they would be tagged as not being able to do labors or serve in the military  meaning they'd just sit around and take up fort resources.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2618 on: December 05, 2020, 11:21:49 pm »

Adventure mode is in first person. Text is still ASCII. Prepare to be utterly lost
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2619 on: December 06, 2020, 01:42:39 am »

As long as we're talking economics:

Implement speculative investment.  Dwarves can buy, sell, and trade goods that don't exist yet.  Especially persuasive dwarves can make a fortune without producing anything at all.
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2620 on: December 06, 2020, 06:54:13 am »

Adventure mode is in first person. Text is still ASCII. Prepare to be utterly lost

Adventure mode is 2nd person, you control two characters at once, one watching the other.

Let's get some bad ideas rolling

DF switches to hex-grid but does not change from ASCII
To support mobile, DF is now played with an on-screen keyboard along side the usual UI. Pressing tab too many times hides the keyboard.
Dwarves are the color of their favorite color.
Dwarves change color according to their mood, shifting from bright white to black over the stress-unstressed axis.
Cats generate static electricity if the map contains enough magnetite. Dwarves get a shock and bad thought if they occupy the same square as the cat.
Squares can now be occupied by only 1 standing and 1 prone creature. Anything more would be ridiculous.

Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2621 on: December 06, 2020, 09:34:04 am »

Any meat, including hams, can be steamed.
It sometimes causes aurora borealises.
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2622 on: December 06, 2020, 10:22:31 am »

Squares can now be occupied by only 1 standing and 1 prone creature. Anything more would be ridiculous.
We also must respect the size of the creature in the tile, so no more standing on the same tile as a dragon or that obese horse.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2623 on: December 06, 2020, 08:38:16 pm »

Any meat, including hams, can be steamed.
It sometimes causes aurora borealises.
"Urist, the fortress is on fire!"
"No Mother, it's just the northern lights!"
"HALP! HAAALP!"
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A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2624 on: December 07, 2020, 02:17:37 am »

Dwarves that study the art of necromancy should sometimes mistakenly think that the se rets of life and death involve bringing stone statues to life.  These dwarves should practice the art of masonry with a high degree of dedication and attention to detail, while endlessly (and futilely) attempting to bring their creations to life.

...

Until they inevitably go insane.
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