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[A_Curious_Cat]

Make sure he’s flimsy, abhors industry, and can’t stand alcohol.

(Btw, is Slenderman a Night Troll?)

[King Zultan]

You know what's scarier than that stupid slenderman thing, Barney the dinosaur, and he should be added to the game.

[Nordlicht]

Toady should code the game anew in brainfuck, release it as open-source and turn half of the coders in the world crazy in an attempt to understand their favorite game.

[methylatedspirit]

Toady may as well hire a group of engineers to implement the Brainfuck virtual machine in actual silicon, because there is no way that any Brainfuck interpreter would run Brainfuck DF at anything at 1 FPD. 1 entire frame a day. On the plus side, DF is now portable, running on any CPU architecture with a working Brainfuck interpreter and enough RAM.

This method will be used to port DF to almost everything.

[Starver]

...and almost everything within DF.

Microsoft Office for Fortress
DirectX-Nano
Java Virtual Machine/Kobold-powered
Adobe Flash/AIR v34 (Liquid Logic version).

[towerator]

Translate DF entirely into Shakespeare, and let the madness begin.

[Nordlicht]

Ok, this is awesome.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Example code

This is the standard "Hello World" program (that outputs or displays "Hello World!" to the user) in SPL.

The Infamous Hello World Program.

Romeo, a young man with a remarkable patience.
Juliet, a likewise young woman of remarkable grace.
Ophelia, a remarkable woman much in dispute with Hamlet.
Hamlet, the flatterer of Andersen Insulting A/S.


                    Act I: Hamlet's insults and flattery.

                    Scene I: The insulting of Romeo.

[Enter Hamlet and Romeo]

Hamlet:
 You lying stupid fatherless big smelly half-witted coward!
 You are as stupid as the difference between a handsome rich brave
 hero and thyself! Speak your mind!

 You are as brave as the sum of your fat little stuffed misused dusty
 old rotten codpiece and a beautiful fair warm peaceful sunny summer's
 day. You are as healthy as the difference between the sum of the
 sweetest reddest rose and my father and yourself! Speak your mind!

 You are as cowardly as the sum of yourself and the difference
 between a big mighty proud kingdom and a horse. Speak your mind.

 Speak your mind!

[Exit Romeo]

                    Scene II: The praising of Juliet.

[Enter Juliet]

Hamlet:
 Thou art as sweet as the sum of the sum of Romeo and his horse and his
 black cat! Speak thy mind!

[Exit Juliet]

                    Scene III: The praising of Ophelia.

[Enter Ophelia]

Hamlet:
 Thou art as lovely as the product of a large rural town and my amazing
 bottomless embroidered purse. Speak thy mind!

 Thou art as loving as the product of the bluest clearest sweetest sky
 and the sum of a squirrel and a white horse. Thou art as beautiful as
 the difference between Juliet and thyself. Speak thy mind!

[Exeunt Ophelia and Hamlet]


                    Act II: Behind Hamlet's back.

                    Scene I: Romeo and Juliet's conversation.

[Enter Romeo and Juliet]

Romeo:
 Speak your mind. You are as worried as the sum of yourself and the
 difference between my small smooth hamster and my nose. Speak your
 mind!

Juliet:
 Speak YOUR mind! You are as bad as Hamlet! You are as small as the
 difference between the square of the sum between my little pony
 and your big hairy hound and the cube of your sorry little
 codpiece. Speak your mind!

[Exit Romeo]

                    Scene II: Juliet and Ophelia's conversation.

[Enter Ophelia]

Juliet:
 Thou art as good as the quotient between Romeo and the sum of a small
 furry animal and a leech. Speak your mind!

Ophelia:
 Thou art as disgusting as the quotient between Romeo and twice the
 difference between a mistletoe and an oozing infected blister! Speak
 your mind!

[Exeunt]

[muldrake]

Bonus, engravers can ba assigned to engrave things on pillows, which can increase happy thoughts in a few dwarves. Especially when they are engravings of animal people, particularly cat people.

Any dwarves who possess such an item can only grow a beard on their neck and are guaranteed never to reproduce.

[King Zultan]

Bonus, engravers can ba assigned to engrave things on pillows, which can increase happy thoughts in a few dwarves. Especially when they are engravings of animal people, particularly cat people.

Any dwarves who possess such an item can only grow a beard on their neck and are guaranteed never to reproduce.

There is an incredibly small chance that during a "cuddle session" with the pillow, that the pillow can become pregnant and give birth to a half dwarf half pillow monster.

[rico6822]

Necromancer desire being killed and resurrected by fellow necros so they won't "do something silly that would get them killed" anymore.

[BigUglyWorm]

Introduce nekomancers, unholy magic-users who command vast legions of cats that are opposed to life.
(Insert "Urist McCatbeard" image here)

[Egan_BW]

That's just anybody owned by more than one cat.

[rico6822]

A.I. Dwarfs will intentionally throw items underneath themselves to rise throwing skill.

[JAL28]

A new default squad uniform called thrower, which is no uniform and with any item as a throwable weapon. To train, these squads move to barracks and throw things under themselves at great speed to practise throwing. In battle, they throw anything in range at enemies, and seeing that they will probably already be legendaries at throwing will probably constantly get headshots, felling goblins by the dozens and providing cover for the retreating civilians.

[Starver]

Another type will throw up and over themselves, at every opportunity. They provide cover in battle in a completely different, and mood altering, manner.