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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 463983 times)

Magmacube_tr

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3690 on: September 19, 2021, 04:31:17 am »

~And can bypass borders without fines~
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I must submerge myself in MAGMAAAAAAAAA! daily for 17 cents, which I detest. With a new profile picture!

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PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3691 on: September 19, 2021, 10:49:32 am »

Causing guards to whine.
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3692 on: September 19, 2021, 11:08:04 am »

And brew wine from finger limes
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3693 on: September 20, 2021, 02:16:00 am »

Which were picked before their time.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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Mr Crabman

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3694 on: September 20, 2021, 05:12:38 am »

Change the description of humans to "A featherless biped."

Moeteru

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3695 on: September 20, 2021, 07:56:28 am »

Add a raw tag which allows feathers to be plucked. Ideally this should be possible as a combat move against a live opponent.
After being plucked a chicken's description is also changed to "A featherless biped" and it becomes a historical figure.
Since the raws have no concept of nail/claw shapes, the plucked chicken is treated exactly like a human by the game engine and may join a civilisation and even visit player forts as a diplomat/trader/performer.
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A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3696 on: September 20, 2021, 08:50:19 am »

Toady One should quit his current project and, instead, create a new game about short, hairy, and temperamental drunken bastards that hate the sun and dig holes in the ground (including through solid rock!) in order to get away from it.
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TheBeardyMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3697 on: September 20, 2021, 10:26:04 am »

Change the description of humans to "A featherless biped."
We're close to having that now. When you're adding elements to the symbol for your fortress while preparing for embark, if you select "Creature", leave the cursor on aardvark on the top line, press f to start filtering, and type "dwarf", you can trick it into displaying "dwarf" with the description "a small nocturnal mammal with a long nose to probe for insects". ;D
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PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3698 on: September 20, 2021, 08:07:36 pm »

Change the description of humans to "A featherless biped."
We're close to having that now. When you're adding elements to the symbol for your fortress while preparing for embark, if you select "Creature", leave the cursor on aardvark on the top line, press f to start filtering, and type "dwarf", you can trick it into displaying "dwarf" with the description "a small nocturnal mammal with a long nose to probe for insects". ;D

I mean, that's almost an accurate description, replace "insects" with "precious stones and metals" and it's spot-on.
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3699 on: September 21, 2021, 02:08:48 am »

Dwarves are just aardvarks with beards.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3700 on: September 21, 2021, 03:27:10 am »

Aardvarks are just dwarves who have shaved.

Mobbstar

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3701 on: September 21, 2021, 05:53:53 am »

All dwarves who - for whatever reason - shave or otherwise lose their beard, become were-aardvarks.

muldrake

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3702 on: September 22, 2021, 04:29:36 am »

Sometimes dwarves begin rhyming against each other uncontrolllably in a great cosmic harmony.
But if someone says "orange" it causes a tantrum spiral.
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Mobbstar

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3703 on: September 22, 2021, 04:44:07 am »

But if someone says "orange" it causes a tantrum spiral.

The survivors of the tantrum spiral resolve to construct a monument known as door-henge.  It is a circle of free-standing doors, with some stone blocks constructed above.  If all doors are opened at the same time, the blocks will cave in and kill everyone.

Quarque

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3704 on: September 23, 2021, 03:19:55 am »

If you separate a dwarf baby from its mum, the mother can be milked at a farmers workshop for the next year.
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