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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 476645 times)

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4605 on: June 26, 2022, 04:17:20 am »

If you try to throw the monarch into the glowing pits of the HFS, they will only return more powerful, with an army of demons at their command to enforce their mandates and demands.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Nordlicht

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4606 on: June 26, 2022, 08:41:05 am »

Atom smashers smash nobles into billions of atom sized nobles who all start to make demands.
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muldrake

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4607 on: June 26, 2022, 11:09:35 am »

There should be elixirs that cause nothing but profuse vomiting in multiple colors, which are visible on the screen.
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A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4608 on: June 26, 2022, 12:43:18 pm »

There should be trees in good biomes whose fruit disappears when picked leaving behind a puddle of puke.
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Really hoping somebody puts this in their signature.

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4609 on: June 27, 2022, 12:57:14 am »

Dwarves puke when they eat any thing that comes from a tree because it makes them feel like an elf and they can't stand it.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

brewer bob

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4610 on: June 27, 2022, 06:06:19 am »

In fact, dwarves are allergic to anything from trees. Touching tree logs gives them symptoms ranging from blistering to swelling and in severe cases it impairs breathing. This, of course, means that any dwarf sleeping on a wooden bed will get allergic reactions.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4611 on: June 27, 2022, 08:58:12 am »

The Spinning skill now determines how quickly and how often dwarves will spin in place. Legendary Spinners will spin fast enough to tunnel down into the HFS.

Due to an oversight, this also applies to the electrons in your computer.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Uthimienure

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4612 on: June 27, 2022, 09:51:34 pm »

The Spinning skill now determines how quickly and how often dwarves will spin in place. Legendary Spinners will spin fast enough to tunnel down into the HFS.

Due to an oversight, this also applies to the electrons in your computer.
This makes playing DF pretty much a one-time deal.
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FPS in Gravearmor (850+ dwarves) is 3-6 (v0.47.05 lives on).
"I've never really had issues with the old DF interface (I mean, I loved even 'umkh'!)" ... brewer bob
As we say in France: "ah, l'amour toujours l'amour"... François D.

A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4613 on: June 27, 2022, 09:56:53 pm »

New noble position:  Spin Doctor.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4614 on: June 28, 2022, 01:57:58 am »

The wood burning skill only affects how frequently dwarves will set vegetation on fire for kicks
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4615 on: June 28, 2022, 02:00:17 am »

The Spinning skill can be taught to your dwarves by having them take spin class, and the speed at which they can be taught depends on weather or not a Spin Doctor is present in your fort, with the Spin Doctor in the for all dwarves that attend Spin Class will instantly become Legendary Spinners.
Logged
The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4616 on: June 28, 2022, 02:48:58 am »

Implement a nobility guild.
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SixOfSpades

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4617 on: June 28, 2022, 05:00:08 am »

To make the game more balanced, the worldgen period of procedural creation that takes place before each game starts should be countered by an equal-but-opposite period wherein the world is procedurally destroyed during the full duration of the gameplay itself.
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

brewer bob

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4618 on: June 28, 2022, 06:51:34 am »

The wood burning skill only affects how frequently dwarves will set vegetation on fire for kicks

If there is no vegetation to burn, wood burner dwarves will get super stressed out, and eventually flip out going on a pyromaniac spree and lighting everything possible on fire, including the player's computer and hair.

Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #4619 on: June 28, 2022, 02:11:31 pm »

Ensure full compatibility of DF with every Rimworld mod.
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Insatiable consumption. Ceaseless motion. Unstoppable destruction.
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