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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 527953 times)

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6255 on: September 10, 2024, 01:14:12 am »

Make the explosive diarrhea so explosive that dwarves explode before they even have a chance to shit it out.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6256 on: September 10, 2024, 01:55:24 am »

Anything that the literally explosive diarrhea touches turns into more literally explosive diarrhea.
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Really hoping somebody puts this in their signature.

muldrake

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6257 on: September 10, 2024, 02:53:43 am »

Everything in the game should explode into a dozen explosions including the resulting explosions.
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brewer bob

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6258 on: September 10, 2024, 03:16:50 am »

Hire Michael Bay to make a movie of exploding Dwarf Fortress.

PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6259 on: September 10, 2024, 10:52:38 am »

Hire Michael Bay to make a movie of exploding Dwarf Fortress.

TBH I'd actually better trust Michael Bay to direct a movie that adheres to the spirit of Dwarf Fortress than Uwe Boll (as has previously been suggested in this thread). :P
« Last Edit: September 10, 2024, 10:54:45 am by PlumpHelmetMan »
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

brewer bob

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6260 on: September 10, 2024, 11:45:37 am »

Hire Michael Bay to make a movie of exploding Dwarf Fortress.

TBH I'd actually better trust Michael Bay to direct a movie that adheres to the spirit of Dwarf Fortress than Uwe Boll (as has previously been suggested in this thread). :P

How about both? Uwe Boll should do a low-budget b-movie and Michael Bay a Premium fancy effects movie? :P

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6261 on: September 10, 2024, 11:55:51 am »

Charles Kaznyk, from Super 8...

..."Production Values!"
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6262 on: September 11, 2024, 01:25:09 am »

Have all the female dwarves in the movie played by Kardashians.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6263 on: September 12, 2024, 08:28:08 am »

Give dwarves the ability to post on the Bay12 Forums.
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PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6264 on: September 12, 2024, 07:55:50 pm »

Give dwarves the ability to post on the Bay12 Forums.

Preposterous, there are no dwarves on this forum! What dim-witted elf told you that? Listen, lad, you obviously need to clear your head. Go do...whatever it is humans do to unwind. Engrave a wall or admire a masterwork cabinet for a few hours, I assume. Maybe grab a drink or three.
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

brewer bob

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6265 on: September 13, 2024, 12:47:44 am »

Everyone who posts something that isn't something that dwarves might say in Dwarf Fortress gets immediately banned.

Urist Mchateselves

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6266 on: September 13, 2024, 01:09:31 am »

Everyone who posts something that isn't something that dwarves might say in Dwarf Fortress gets immediately banned.

It was inevitable.
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If you're so sure that you're gonna end up killing all of dwarven civilization, why not make a statue depicting 2147483647 dead dwarves, all of which are burning? Name it something good, like Deaddead the Dead Dead Dead-Dead of Dying. Just put it in the main hall or something, as a grim reminder that they're all gonna die.

A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6267 on: September 13, 2024, 01:55:41 am »

Everyone who posts something that isn't something that dwarves might say in Dwarf Fortress gets immediately banned.

It was inevitable.

Can you tell me where I can find myself?
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6268 on: September 13, 2024, 02:14:01 am »

In a time before time I attacked me.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

brewer bob

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #6269 on: September 13, 2024, 02:15:26 am »

Ha ha ha...  You're funny!
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