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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 55034 times)

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #450 on: March 25, 2019, 06:06:41 pm »

The most thing i like about this thread is how some people suggest terrible things that appear to be already planned or most probably will be planned and implemented in future.
We are all aware, seeing as you've already mentioned it at least five separate times.
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LordBaal

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #451 on: March 25, 2019, 07:59:02 pm »

Whic it would be a terrible suggestion itself?
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #452 on: March 26, 2019, 12:38:18 am »

Actually good suggestion: every time you get snippy or passive-aggressive in the forum, a megabeast in the form of an amorphous blob made from steel that sheds thralling dust spawns in your fortress. (And for the record, my reply counts as well.  Pass me the blob)
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #453 on: March 26, 2019, 12:49:11 am »

Young children will occasionally play with levers by pulling them.
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Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #454 on: March 26, 2019, 03:39:15 am »

The most thing i like about this thread is how some people suggest terrible things that appear to be already planned or most probably will be planned and implemented in future.
We are all aware, seeing as you've already mentioned it at least five separate times.
I did? Hm. That is possible. Thanks for pointing it.
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #455 on: March 26, 2019, 06:40:17 am »

Dwarves petition the mayor with terrible suggestions that the overseer already has planned.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

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spazyak

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #456 on: March 26, 2019, 07:04:48 am »

Great can't wait till petitions for slade tables in the tavern
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Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #457 on: March 26, 2019, 07:50:20 am »

Great can't wait till petitions for slade tables in the tavern
Could be entertaining... C'mon, feel the noise!
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #458 on: March 27, 2019, 04:57:44 am »

Young children will occasionally play with levers by pulling them.

Those gremlin squashing traps will finally come in handy!
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #459 on: March 27, 2019, 05:17:15 am »

Dwarves will sweat if the temperature outside is high. In extreme cases, they will be drenched in sweat, leading to the same psychological effect as being caught in the rain. Humidity is also a factor, where higher humidity means higher perceived temperature.
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #460 on: March 28, 2019, 12:28:42 am »

Dwarves who get hot enough to start sweating will compulsively jump into the nearest body of water in order to cool off.  They will do this regardless of what lives in said water, and regardless of whether or not they can swim.  Also, all magma produces enough heat to make Dwarves sweat, including that used to power magma workshops.
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #461 on: March 28, 2019, 02:15:35 am »

Dwarves who get to close to magma have a chance to catch fire,.
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #462 on: March 28, 2019, 05:07:59 am »

So basically Rimworld?

Fully-customizable names:
Remove all that charm and character in the pre-determined dwarven words for names of locations, governments, and objects - instead, just type in whatever name you want!
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #463 on: March 28, 2019, 05:10:49 am »

So basically Rimworld?

Fully-customizable names:
Remove all that charm and character in the pre-determined dwarven words for names of locations, governments, and objects - instead, just type in whatever name you want!
I would love that just for the immature joke potential.
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Victor6

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #464 on: March 28, 2019, 06:36:38 pm »

Dwarves can become serial killers instead of going stark raving mad, melancholy or berserk.

Any visitor or migrant to your fort could already be a serial killer. Rather than just start random fights, Dwarvern serial killers pick an obsession ( race, hair color, anyone named Urist etc ), then quietly go looking for a target in the fort before disposing of them in a variety of fun ways;

1. Murdering the target in their sleep - DSKs will first seek out a murder weapon, then kill the target without an announcement.
* option; stash the bloody murder weapon in another dwarfs room to frame them when the captain of the guard starts investigating.
** cunning option; hide the bloodstained clothes ( and swipe another dwarfs clean socks ) to throw off the scent.
*** Fridge option; Hide the body in nearby containers so that it's only noticed when it stinks up the place.

2. Murders of convenience - Pushing other dwarves down wells, into magma, pits, spike traps, or just locking them in their rooms until they starve to death. Dwarves could also murder hospital patients, but this might be hard to spot given the normal state of dwarvern healthcare.

3. Poisoning food with various syndromes ( or Armok forbid, booze ). Preferably the targets favorite food. DSKs can either poison the raw ingredients ( and risk discovery ), or the food itself if preparing meals. As there's a fair chance the wrong dwarf will eat the poisoned food there's potential for much fun.

Once a murder is discovered, it's up to that drunk and lazy captain of the guard and the negligent chief medical dwarf to investigate and find the culprit ( or more likely a huge list of potential Urists without a good alibi ).

If not caught, DSK's will then go back to normal for a season or two before selecting another target, waiting for another migrant wave, or sneaking out of the fort to assume a new identity.
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