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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 28781 times)

anewaname

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #720 on: July 09, 2019, 05:42:01 pm »

"Who am I? I am a fine looking dwarf, I am!"

Dwarfs.... Using cleanliness and trimmed beards to intimidate other dwarfs....  :p
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #721 on: July 09, 2019, 06:05:35 pm »

Everyone talks in third person
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GENERATION 28: The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 IRL
*picks up pepper* “Look, a pickle” *puts down pepper* “wait, pickles and peppers are completely different instruments”
Moral of the story: Everyone has dumb moments, laugh at them

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #722 on: July 12, 2019, 12:19:42 am »

Every time a dog dies in your fortress - any dog, anywhere, for any reason - you are treated to a lengthy, unskippable montage of its life, starting as a puppy, set to sad music.  Woe betide you if a pack of wardogs encounters an armed opponent...or worse, you cue up a bunch to be butchered for materials.
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We must prepare for the Vomitpocalypse.

PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #723 on: July 12, 2019, 04:03:10 am »

There's a 10% chance that caravans from neighbouring civs will actually be prophets of other gods seeking to convert your dwarves to their civ's pantheon (complete with pamphlets). And good luck getting them to leave you alone after rolling on that 10% even once.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2019, 04:05:30 am by PlumpHelmetMan »
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #724 on: July 12, 2019, 08:45:36 am »

Dwarves experience hangovers.
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #725 on: July 12, 2019, 01:39:53 pm »

A rare soil layer called the Groguifer: like an aquifer, but instead of water, it produces an endless flow of watery, low-value booze.
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We must prepare for the Vomitpocalypse.

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #726 on: July 13, 2019, 12:07:17 am »

There's a 10% chance that caravans from neighbouring civs will actually be prophets of other gods seeking to convert your dwarves to their civ's pantheon (complete with pamphlets). And good luck getting them to leave you alone after rolling on that 10% even once.
Any dwarves that get sucked in by these groups will proceed to send them all their valuables as tribute, then begin raiding your fortress for more loot to give them.  In return, they will receive written missives about things like "seed money", "divine returns", and "keeping the faith", as well as increasingly aggressive demands that they convert more of the fortress.
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xZippy

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #727 on: July 13, 2019, 05:13:28 am »

The game will pause sometimes just to say "It's time for Animaniacs..."
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Blastbeard

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #728 on: July 18, 2019, 09:43:48 pm »

Trampling. If an upright creature moves over a prone creature(or creatures), it does blunt damage dependent on the size difference between the trampler and tramplee.
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I don't know how it all works, I just throw molten science at the wall and see what ignites.

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #729 on: July 19, 2019, 12:48:23 am »

The game will pause sometimes just to say "It's time for Animaniacs..."
Nothing actually happens, it's just doing it to keep you on your toes.
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PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #730 on: July 19, 2019, 03:05:03 am »

Trampling. If an upright creature moves over a prone creature(or creatures), it does blunt damage dependent on the size difference between the trampler and tramplee.

Is it bad that I actually like this idea?
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

xZippy

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #731 on: July 19, 2019, 04:03:45 am »

Introducing another race: hooch dwarves, they're like normal dwarves but so promiscuous that the things they copulate with don't necessarily need to be alive. Or exist.
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Blastbeard

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #732 on: July 19, 2019, 04:09:01 am »

Trampling. If an upright creature moves over a prone creature(or creatures), it does blunt damage dependent on the size difference between the trampler and tramplee.

Is it bad that I actually like this idea?
That depends. Have you ever looked at a high-traffic, 1-tile wide corridor inside a generated dwarf fortress and thought to yourself, "these walls aren't red enough"?
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I don't know how it all works, I just throw molten science at the wall and see what ignites.

PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #733 on: July 19, 2019, 04:10:52 am »

Introducing another race: hooch dwarves, they're like normal dwarves but so promiscuous that the things they copulate with don't necessarily need to be alive. Or exist.

Hooch dwarves have the ability to will anything they wish to copulate with into existence. Any fortress you play with them will quickly become overpopulated with god knows what.
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #734 on: July 19, 2019, 05:18:16 am »

Occasionally Statler and Waldorf will appear out of nowhere and use the announcement screen to make quips about whatever is currently happening in your fortress.
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.
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