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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 475844 times)

Strik3r

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #930 on: October 04, 2019, 12:01:29 pm »

To add to it, DF is now a "free-to-play" mobile game. So not only is the game absurdly and disappointingly simplified, you also need to pay $100 to bay12 for each task you perform (including just starting up the game). The only thing free about it is the download.

Also, every task literally takes 12 real-time hours:
Wanna chop a tree? 12 hours.
Mine a tile? 12 hours.
Harvest a single mushroom? 12 hours.

Don't wanna wait? Better buy some MTX ArmokCoins. 1000 for 10 bucks. You can only buy a minimum of 1000.
And it costs 1000 ArmokCoins to skip 1 hour of the wait timer. Thats on top of the 10k ArmokCoins it costs to start the actual task.
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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #931 on: October 04, 2019, 12:33:00 pm »

Better yet, tasks start with taking 1 or two minutes, but once you put an hour or so into the fort, enough to get invested, the time taken and difficulty of the raids spikes exponentially, up to hundreds more dwarves than you have, fully equipped. But you can spend 100k coins to "smite" the entire wave, winning it instantly. You also need to spend coins to build walls, and dwarves will automatically use up any coins you have to build "ultra" farms and workshops, that work 10% faster but cost 5k coins (or all of the coins you have left) each.
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Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #932 on: October 04, 2019, 04:34:09 pm »

The game can access any bank apps on your device and automatically add accounts for your convenience. It can also automatically purchases coins when you run out.
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #933 on: October 04, 2019, 05:58:06 pm »

To add to it, DF is now a "free-to-play" mobile game. So not only is the game absurdly and disappointingly simplified, you also need to pay $100 to bay12 for each task you perform (including just starting up the game). The only thing free about it is the download.

Also, every task literally takes 12 real-time hours:
Wanna chop a tree? 12 hours.
Mine a tile? 12 hours.
Harvest a single mushroom? 12 hours.

Don't wanna wait? Better buy some MTX ArmokCoins. 1000 for 10 bucks. You can only buy a minimum of 1000.
And it costs 1000 ArmokCoins to skip 1 hour of the wait timer. Thats on top of the 10k ArmokCoins it costs to start the actual task.
Wanna build up enough speed to clip through the wall into a parallel universe? 12 hours (and half an A-press).
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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #934 on: October 04, 2019, 07:04:09 pm »

Here's a good one: All civ-forming creatures, when seeking out food, consider live non-civ forming creatures, regardless of size, a viable meal, and will eat them whole and alive if they are closer than any other non-preferred food. Approx 20% of dwarves now have a food preference for "live animal" and will eat them preferentially if available (Other civs have different values, determined by the tag [PREFERS_EAT_LIVE_ANIMALS:X], where X is the percent of the population that prefers eating live animals over other options. Civ-forming creatures eating live animals, however, is hard-coded and cannot be altered by RAW modding. for reference: 10% of humans prefer live animals, and 40% of elves prefer live animals. Due to a quirk with elves eating sapients, however, they also consider civ-forming creatures to be valid for purposes of eating live). Civ-forming creatures eating animals do not respect whether or not the animal is a pet, trained, or even hostile, even if the animal is their own pet. However, they will still be angered by it's death. Animals, even if hostile, will not struggle when chosen for consumption by a civ-forming creature.

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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #935 on: October 04, 2019, 07:23:04 pm »

I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse.

That horse.
Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #936 on: October 04, 2019, 07:50:29 pm »

I prefer the mental image of a dwarf struggling against a beak dog or something, getting hungry, and just swallowing it whole before rejoining the fight.
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Blastbeard

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #937 on: October 04, 2019, 10:31:44 pm »

*vore*

Can we not.

Mannerisms should expand to include bad habits, such as slurping when eating or whistling the same part of the same song all day, which give negative thoughts to nearby dwarves. The player should occasionaly frequently receive detailed announcements whenever a dwarf indulges in one of these bad habits.
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #938 on: October 05, 2019, 01:04:00 am »

Here's a good one: All civ-forming creatures, when seeking out food, consider live non-civ forming creatures, regardless of size, a viable meal, and will eat them whole and alive if they are closer than any other non-preferred food. Approx 20% of dwarves now have a food preference for "live animal" and will eat them preferentially if available (Other civs have different values, determined by the tag [PREFERS_EAT_LIVE_ANIMALS:X], where X is the percent of the population that prefers eating live animals over other options. Civ-forming creatures eating live animals, however, is hard-coded and cannot be altered by RAW modding. for reference: 10% of humans prefer live animals, and 40% of elves prefer live animals. Due to a quirk with elves eating sapients, however, they also consider civ-forming creatures to be valid for purposes of eating live). Civ-forming creatures eating animals do not respect whether or not the animal is a pet, trained, or even hostile, even if the animal is their own pet. However, they will still be angered by it's death. Animals, even if hostile, will not struggle when chosen for consumption by a civ-forming creature.


New reason for elf invasions: a civ-wide case of the munchies.
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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #939 on: October 05, 2019, 02:22:35 pm »

Every time a strange mood is triggered, there is a 1% chance that all dwarves in the fort, including those who have already had a mood. will get a mood, rather than just one dwarf.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #940 on: October 05, 2019, 02:26:16 pm »

Every time a strange mood is triggered, there is a 1% chance that all dwarves in the fort, including those who have already had a mood. will get a mood, rather than just one dwarf.
This sounds like a good suggestion though
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Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #941 on: October 05, 2019, 03:05:05 pm »

A powerful pulse in the dwarven gestalt field produces a moodstorm, during which all dwarves become extremely creative, martially skilled, and ornery.

If this happens while hostile goblins are visiting, you'll spend the storm with a bunch of goblin bone artifacts. Any other time, you'll end up with a bunch of dwarven bone artifacts. Either way, you'll somehow gain more dwarves as well.
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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #942 on: October 05, 2019, 03:23:12 pm »

Hmm. Alright, here's an even worse suggestion: Dwarven moods are communicated solely through emoji. EG: Urist McDwarf was  :) after :thinking emoji: :food emoji: :Thumbs up emoji:. He was  :'( after :Baby Emoji: :Skull Emoji:
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Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #943 on: October 05, 2019, 04:43:15 pm »

Music changes depending on what is happening. Or, more precisely, depending on what quality the performances at the tavern are. Every single bad performance (one tier below regular ones, makes dwarves angry), as well as every single recitation of a bad poem, decrements a hidden counter that makes the music sound worse:
100 - Normal
80 - Some noise starts to appear
70 - The presence of the noise becomes very apparent
60 - The volume starts changing on it's own
50 - The song is swapped to "Let The Bodies hit the Floor", but there isn't any noise anymore. The volume changes stay thi.
40 - Noise is added.
30 - Five other random royalty free songs start playing
20 - Pitch gets higher
0 - The game starts spawining clowns in your tavern

The counter can only be incremented by masterful performances.
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BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #944 on: October 05, 2019, 07:56:56 pm »

Hmm. Alright, here's an even worse suggestion: Dwarven moods are communicated solely through emoji. EG: Urist McDwarf was  :) after :thinking emoji: :food emoji: :Thumbs up emoji:. He was  :'( after :Baby Emoji: :Skull Emoji:
He  >:( after [walking emoji] [rain emoji].  He   :D after [man and woman emoji] [fist emoji]. He  :( after [woman emoji] [heart emoji] [knife emoji] [skull emoji].
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