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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 106695 times)

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1815 on: June 28, 2020, 06:18:38 pm »

Sometimes dwarves attempt to smoke from their rears, causing them to explode when they fart.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. Was this inevitable (Y/y)?

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1816 on: June 29, 2020, 12:56:49 am »

If your hemp stockpile catches fire, the resulting smoke will make any dwarves who breathe it extremely relaxed and massively increase their hunger.  It has similar effects on other sapients, too; a clever builder could weaponize it, forcing invaders to walk through hemp smoke clouds and watching as the pacified army wanders off the map in search of snacks.
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We must prepare for the Vomitpocalypse.

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1817 on: June 29, 2020, 03:22:41 am »

If your hemp stockpile catches fire, the resulting smoke will make any dwarves who breathe it extremely relaxed and massively increase their hunger.  It has similar effects on other sapients, too; a clever builder could weaponize it, forcing invaders to walk through hemp smoke clouds and watching as the pacified army wanders off the map in search of snacks.
If this happens when elves are around they'll eat your dwarves and each other.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
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ChaosPotato

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1818 on: July 01, 2020, 12:38:24 am »

Dwarves turn into elves if exposed to wood. Elves turn into dwarves if exposed to beard hair.
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A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1819 on: July 01, 2020, 07:46:50 pm »

In order to increase frame-rate and simplify path-finding, I have the following proposal:

That dwarves be treated like vermin.

Vermin pop in and out of existence all the time.  If dwarves were treated in this way it would reduce the load on the processor as the game wouldn't have to make any calculations for frames in which the dwarves were not in existence.  Furthermore, as a cloud of vermin seems to take up the same amount of processing time as a single vermin, further gains could be achieved by generating multiple dwarves together as a cloud.  Path-finding would also be simplified as a cloud of dwarves could be generated wherever they were needed.

Hopefully, this suggestion will be a turning point in the fight against FPS death.
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LordBaal

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1820 on: July 01, 2020, 08:34:46 pm »

Dwarves turn into elves.
That's like.... you know, I have to report you to the FBI now.
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I'm curious as to how a tank would evolve. Would it climb out of the primordial ooze wiggling it's track-nubs, feeding on smaller jeeps before crawling onto the shore having evolved proper treds?
My ship exploded midflight, but all the shrapnel totally landed on Alpha Centauri before anyone else did.  Bow before me world leaders!

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1821 on: July 02, 2020, 12:08:02 am »

In order to increase frame-rate and simplify path-finding, I have the following proposal:

That dwarves be treated like vermin. 
They already are, in my forts!
[rimshot, laugh track]
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