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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 464278 times)

Mobbstar

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3900 on: November 21, 2021, 02:29:58 am »

The game should automatically attempt to parse all text as MarkDown formatting.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3901 on: November 21, 2021, 11:27:22 am »

All controls are inverted.  There is a tickable/untickable "Invert Controls" option, which helpfully inverts the entire display to compensate.
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Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3902 on: November 21, 2021, 06:04:25 pm »

The player has to literally build UI elements on the map to be able to use them. And every button needs a dwarf assigned to it. Because you don't press it - you create a task to press it. All info player gets from a manager through an elaborate dialogue sequence.
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PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3903 on: November 21, 2021, 07:05:17 pm »

Wait...how do you assign a dwarf to a UI element in the first place if there's no UI at the start of the game?
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3904 on: November 21, 2021, 08:53:59 pm »

It's the primordial anvil all over again... ;)

(But probably a Strange Mood from someone with GUIwrighting skills.)
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3905 on: November 22, 2021, 03:39:43 am »

Some assembly required.

Instead of downloading the game you should have to build it yourself, and the first step is obtaining the book which contains a written version of the code which you have to copy onto your computer, then only after copying down all of the thousands of lines of code with out any typos can you compile the code and finally enjoy the game.

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Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3906 on: November 22, 2021, 04:35:18 am »

in order to make processing easier, the game is actually a physical simulation which you have to build yourself, and breed little dwarves and tiny miniature versions of all the game's creatures on your desk.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3907 on: November 22, 2021, 05:55:43 pm »

You need to breed miniature versions of vermin in a petri dish under a microscope. Watch out for tardigrades!
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Magmacube_tr

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3908 on: November 23, 2021, 02:45:03 pm »

Talking of miniature vermin, why are there not miniature versions of all creatures? There are giant ones, they would make as much sense.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3909 on: November 23, 2021, 02:57:54 pm »

It would go nicely with the mini dwarves, wouldn't it?

Sadly vermin are pretty limited in their behaviors.

Ooh, I know! Make all vermin in the game non-vermin creatures! Now your dwarves can get terrified by snails!
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Criperum

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3910 on: November 23, 2021, 03:32:06 pm »

Dwarf Fortress Gold Edition. Along with the game its shipped with 7 dehydrated miniature dwarfes you can add water to and use to create your irl mini fortress.
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Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3911 on: November 23, 2021, 10:04:06 pm »

Set them on your dresser and let them mine out tiny cubes of wood.
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Down at the bottom of the ocean. Beneath tons of brine which would crush you down. Not into broken and splintered flesh, but into thin soup. Into just more of the sea water. Where things live that aren't so different from you, but you will never live to touch them and they will never live to touch you.

PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3912 on: November 23, 2021, 10:21:28 pm »

You're encouraged to set your pets loose on the dresser every once in a while to simulate megabeast attacks.
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It's actually pretty terrifying to think about having all of your fat melt off into grease because you started sweating too much.

Magmacube_tr

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3913 on: November 23, 2021, 11:44:50 pm »

We are not responsible for any deaths of pets or mini-dwarves during these attacks.
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #3914 on: November 24, 2021, 12:51:08 am »

Oh god! Fluffy! They're putting your corpse in the tavern!!
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