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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 427163 times)

SixOfSpades

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5595 on: September 08, 2023, 06:46:58 pm »

Necromancer towers should contain orbs for their owners to ponder.
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5596 on: September 08, 2023, 07:26:07 pm »

The more the budding necromancer plays with their staff and orbs, the more chance that they get struck blind.
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A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5597 on: September 08, 2023, 08:03:02 pm »

Toady One should add sentient fruit, as well as toy castles which the sentient fruits are always scheming to steal.
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SixOfSpades

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5598 on: September 08, 2023, 11:23:39 pm »

If your fort contains or borders a population of gnomes (of either variety), there is a chance each day that said gnomes will be renamed to "smurfs". Once this happens, every day thereafter another new noun will be replaced with "smurf". This will be difficult to notice at first; given the high number of plants, animals, stone types, garments, musical instruments, etc., that are not in your fort, there are a great many things that can be smurfed before it begins to affect gameplay. But when you read that the latest artifact is made of smurf wood, with hanging rings of emu bone and decorated with baguette-cut smurfs, it gets pretty annoying . . . and when you're about to order up some new weapons and see that both steel and copper have been smurfed, so you can no longer specify what the weapons should be made of, you have to admit that the game is either unplayable, or will be very soon.

Killing all of the nearby smurfs gnomes will cause the smurfed words to un-smurf themselves, again at the rate of one per day.
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

PlumpHelmetMan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5599 on: September 09, 2023, 01:37:43 am »

Once all nouns have been smurfed, other word types will start being smurfed based on category (next moving onto pronouns, followed by conjunctions, verbs, adjectives, prepositions, and so forth) until all sentences in the game eventually become an unreadable mess of either "smurf" or one of a handful of less-than-helpful variants (such as "smurfed", "smurfing", "smurftacular", etc.)

This will, of course, have the bonus effect of serving to make the players who already hate DF's UI even angrier.
« Last Edit: September 09, 2023, 01:50:55 am by PlumpHelmetMan »
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5600 on: September 10, 2023, 01:50:40 am »

Smurfs should be considered vermin and unintelligent so cats and dwarves can eat them.
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Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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brewer bob

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5601 on: September 10, 2023, 02:35:03 am »

When smurfings happen, nearby necromancers will be renamed into 'Gargamel'.

FantasticDorf

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5602 on: September 10, 2023, 05:22:42 am »

Smurfs should be considered vermin and unintelligent so cats and dwarves can eat them.

Dwarves preferencially like eating smurfs, because they taste like blueberry pie.
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brewer bob

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5603 on: September 15, 2023, 01:14:36 pm »

Dwarves shouldn't care about the fate of socks scattered around the map.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5604 on: September 15, 2023, 03:40:42 pm »

Socks should care about the fate of dwarves scattered around the map. This can cause them to fall into depression, possibly affecting the entire dwarven economy.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5605 on: September 15, 2023, 05:07:45 pm »

Socks adopt dwarves.
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5606 on: September 15, 2023, 05:31:29 pm »

Dwarves can only wear socks on their hands, which is required for dwarves to communicate.

They will attempt to drink booze with their socks until they die of thirst.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2023, 05:37:55 pm by Bumber »
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5607 on: September 16, 2023, 02:01:01 am »

Dwarves will now only wear socks, who needs other kinds of clothing when you have socks!
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when youíre done?

brewer bob

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5608 on: September 16, 2023, 02:04:54 am »

Socks behave now like vermin and can move anywhere on the map.

This behavior has the unfortunate side effect of cats hunting and killing socks.

Bralbaard

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #5609 on: September 16, 2023, 02:30:42 am »

Cats come in a variety of colors, and black cats indeed bring terrible luck to their owners. Black cats happily adopt a new owner if their previous one is deceased. 
« Last Edit: September 16, 2023, 02:33:57 am by Bralbaard »
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