Episode 4 - Second ChanceEverybody deserves a second chance. Even you do.
I shrug, and set up a subloop in my powers to automatically try to use any last resort points, lsrsrtpnts, lst rsrt pnts, lstrsrt points, or similar that I may possess or be near to summon and/or empower a really buff blobfish, named Spalthos. he's like, really buff.
Aside from that, I'm still conversing with him, so I'm... in two places at once. cuz' there are two of him now. anyway.
so the me in the goosducks does the above, while the other me suddenly- but at a completely normal and polite pace, somehow, of course- returns to the pile and sees Maelfic Man II. and this version reveals that it wasn't "Spalthos Jr, the regal blobfish, he of hair beyond any other blobfish and with regal muscles and arms and legs" he needed the guy to say to not eat him, but "Spalthos Jr, the regal blobfish, he of hair beyond any other blobfish and with regal muscles and arms and legs", then. look at the two versions of that sentance I said:
If his answer is anything other then"X", then I open my mouth really wide and suck up his soul.
And
If his answer is anything other then"X" I open my mouth really wide and suck up his soul.
The second one is simpler, and flows better, so clearly that was the one I intended.
and since he read my mind to find out what to say, clearly me trying to suck out his soul would work, since why bother otherwise? So ha! I suck out his soul!
You cannot set up a sub-loop because that isn't one of your abilities! Additionally to that, summoning objects out of pure will is also not one of your abilities. Your abilities do include setting up an appointment with reality to discuss the potential summoning of an entity, but it seems this shoddy illogical plane doesn't seem to like you logic-ing your way out of these situations. You split into two, and suddenly, as reality tightens around you, both "you"s convulse and converge into one "middle ground", an equal distance away from both of the clones. This appears to be somewhere in mid-air, and you plummet unceremoniously onto the ground.
The Grim Reaper appears before you. "
Yo. It me. Death and shit." he says, handing you a paper. The paper says "THOSE WHO TALK ABOUT REALITIES FORBIDDEN WILL BE MET WITH FORBIDDEN CONSEQUENCES. YOU HAVE BEEN MET WITH ONE SUCH CONSEQUENCE. NOW HEED THE BURDEN OF YOUR CRIMES." You question what this means, considering you don't feel any different. Despite that, you're almost sure that
some curse has been set on you, a curse that will heavily hinder your endeavors and follow you into unreality, but you can't put your finger on what it is. "
Hint: the curse is an everlasting feeling that you're cursed." he pats you on the back, kicks you on the balls, and disappears in a puff of vape.
It seems that the Second Malefic Man was an amateur. Stabbing me exposed his knife to my self-replicating animation magic. Soon, his equipment and any inanimate object in a 67 foot radius will obey my command, as well as helpfully imbuing them with the limbs, digits, and/or situational awareness to perform their task, if any are required. At the moment, their first priority is killing the Second Malefic Man.
"
Hah, you think I'm the amateur? Watch this!" he says, snapping his fingers, and revealing his grand plan. Suddenly, every object in a 67 foot radius adopts a teenage mentality, causing them to rebel against your decision! Instead, they all decide to listen to "CRAWLING IN MY SKIN" on loop for all of eternity, but only in such a way that they can actually hear it, and nobody else besides them. The perfect solution to parents yelling at you to turn down the volume "
You see, getting stabbed by me exposed my ability to turn inanimate objects into teenagers! Of course, it's only a subset of my expansive power-set as a reality bender!" he says, laughing.
Steal the Second Malefic Man's Gear. Also hit him over the head.
You frisk the second Malefic Man for a gear, but notice that he does not have one! "
Shit! It seems this reality really is absolute garbage! They made a fucking shallow copy of me?! Really?? That's completely illogical! God damn, who the hell wrote this shit anyway?!" he says, and then you hit him over the head, and he shrieks, taking 1 damage!
Pink-text is his daughter? That makes too much sense. Which means in that accurst zone, the dead person I found would have been the malefic man. Meus deus.
I place a saddle on one of the geese. This somehow makes it beholden to my command.
What accurst zone? Chills run down your spine, the Grim Reaper winks behind you - you turn around, nothing is there, except the back of your own head, and the back of your own head, and so on and so forth. Yes, we get it, reality is fucked.
You place a saddle in a goose and mount him, and somehow, it follows your every command! Of course, the other geese aren't too happy about some vile
human corrupting one of their kind, and start chasing you, trying to engulf you! 7 figurative damage left, as you
did remove a goose from the pile.
Specifying objects is a very expensive prosses reality-wise, therefor it wouldn't be done in this one so each Flock of Flying Geese is the same as the outermost one, this one contain another Flock of Flying Geese and me, so there's an infinete chain of nested Flock of Flying Geese and me in each of them, All of me try to catch the Malefic Man.
Reality tries to say something, but honestly just slowly nods its head in shame. The cheap trick is revealed, and you realize that there's an infinite amount of nested Flocks of Flying Geese! However, as you did try to render all infinite "you"s, instead of reality simply perceiving them as truly being infinite as a concept, you cause reality to crash. Great job. Besides, such a high collection of reality-benders coalescing in one spot is not healthy for anything.
Reality reboots, instead grabbing only one of the goose chambers, copying it sans the people inside it, and also transporting everyone in either chamber to this newfound chamber. The Nested Flock of Geese annihilates itself, exploding in a rapid wave of fireworks, and the Malefic Man takes 1 point of damage from this explosion.
Find some matches and burn this reality down.
Reality panics and moves your post to the middle of the update! Everyone knows nothing important happens in the middle of the update, as by the end, some quota of annihilation has to be achieved, so the middle ends up being filler. Of course, reality can't fight its own urge to subvert itself either, and ends up setting itself on fire with tons of gasoline and even more matches.
Right. now that i am not suffering PTSD and am somehow with the malific man, Use magic to summon a blinding flash (remembering to look away) directly in front of their face to blind and disorient them! after that, follow up by poking them in the eye!
The Malefic Man closes his eyes. You try to poke him, but your finger simply squishes across his eye! He grins. Panicking, you poke your finger into your hand, and manage to push it through to the other end! Okay, now something
really weird is happening. You look up, and everything shakes and rumbles, and reality itself seems to be burning into hell. It seems reality doesn't really like this many reality-benders coalescing into one spot! You feel a cold uncomfortable sensation in your groin, and look down, and your pants are replaced with an ice tray, and you're embarrassed, shivering, and sad.
Trap the other Malefic Man in a barrel.
You find a barrel, and trap the other Malefic Man within it! It seems to be completely identical to the old barrel. "
Wh... Why is there a note in here? And... why is there a gun in here... What the hell is this?!" he says, pulling a note from within the barrel. The note says, as follows, "HELLO DEAR POTENTIAL CLONE OF ME. THIS BARREL DOES NOT CONTAIN SEEDS BECAUSE IT IS ONLY A SHALLOW COPY, THE SEEDS WERE ALREADY SPREAD AROUND THE BATTLEFIELD PRIOR. HOWEVER, I HAD THE COURTESY TO PLANT A NOTE AND A GUN IN HERE, IN HOPES THAT IF REALITY DOES DECIDE TO PRODUCE A COPY OF THE BARREL OUT OF PURE LAZINESS AND IN ORDER TO FILL THE ATMOSPHERE WITH SOME OBJECTS, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND IT. GOOD LUCK." The Malefic Man shrugs, shooting you right in your left leg from within the barrel! You collapse onto the ground, unable to walk!
Prepare trap for the Malefic Girl, the person Malefic Man II called! He didn't know who they even were, but hey, making a trap for a named person ALWAYS works!
You prepare a trap for the person that the second Malefic Man called. You do this in the form of putting a huge white van in the middle of the battlefield with a sign saying "FRƎƎ KAИDY" next to it. Perfect, this is bound to work! Reality tells you to refer to the end of the post to see the results, of course. It gives you a free "SKIP-TO-THE-ACTUALLY-IMPORTANT-PART" pass - otherwise you'd be forced to sit through the
grueling inferno of post-post forum games in their full glory.
Use the power of empathy to confuse the geese with my own bird-brained confusion, causing them to scatter.
You manage to successfully drive the geese away! They all fly in different directions, some still chasing Anaphaxeton, although they are no longer united. What this effectively means is that you've sealed off Dustan, Rockeater, and the first Malefic Man into unreality, as it now appears that they have no way of getting back from the goose chamber into this domain. In essence, you've royally screwed them. Reality commends you, and gives you a good boy point. The three remaining geese split into different entities!
I Grab and throw myself at both the instances of Malefic Man, collapsing the Space stream so there is BY DEFINITION Only one malefic man for me to attack. Probably.
Reality laughs, trying to keep its cool, but you can clearly see that it's entirely on fucking fire, and you're pretty sure half of it has already crumbled away. The space stream collapses right on you, suffocating you inside of it, and stretching your existence across the entire timeline. Effectively, you can see everything and nothing at the same time, as you're both everywhere and nowhere. This only happens for a brief moment before you materialize in the goose chamber with Dustan and Rockeater - you fly straight at the Malefic Man, knocking yourself into him and dealing 1 point of damage!
>Delete the Malefic Man from existence.
You press delete - however, you forgot that reality runs on Windows, and pressing backspace only puts you into the previous page unless you have highlighted the Malefic Man. You have not highlighted the Malefic Man. A page is turned, and you end up in the previous post! No, really. Go look there. You somehow ended up back in that post. Hey, don't blame
me. Blame reality!
Seeing as there is two of them now, and I still have no Idea what's going and seeing as aside from the paranoia this guy seems mostly sane, I teleport to the other unharmed one approach him. "Okay despite actions, I don't want to lethally harm you, I just want to know I was sent to do so. who knows maybe you can get me on your side." this was not a lie, despite actions I do want to stay a neutral case in this fight and support the team I like the best, and so far that was undecided.
"
Are... Are you kidding me? Kid, let me tell you something. You have that look in your eye. It's like you know something. I hate that!! I hate when people know more than me! You see this here gun, kid? I don't care about guns, you know, I like knives more, everyone knows this by now! But do you know who gave me this gun?! I did. It's only true, ya know? I saw it with my own two eyes, right here, in this very place! I saw him. Me. Only for a short while, when reality was at a bad point, there was a teensy tiny little window into something bigger. I could feel it, that place - It was magnificent. I was there. I was the main character! And everyone else? Just extras. Standing below my feet! I saw myself, I saw myself and I was perfect. They tried to kill me for, what, a year? They chased me down for a year and they couldn't even know me down! I always wanted to be like that, and you know - it's just proof that I am like that. That man is me. And the one who gave me this gun? Me. It must mean something, right?! I'm chosen by reality! Look at this, why else would all of this occur? And ever since then, breaking reality has just been a little bit more fun. There's always a chance I'll end up like him. Broken, sure - utterly broken in every aspect. But broken in such a perfect manner. It's... it's almost sad to think about. It's me." he says, and shoots you in your arm! You try not to collapse, holding your wounded arm tightly.
Wow. All of that just happened. Reality is breaking down - and not only that, but the goose chamber has been completely isolated! Let's see... Dustan, Rockeater, Crazyabe, and of course, the first Malefic Man, all stuck in an isolated chamber! No way to get back now. Well, there's always a way, you just need to find it. It's not that hard, I promise. That means that both flocks of geese have been destroyed - but some geese persist! They're mostly chasing down the traitor, though. That's not your job to deal with. Although, if reality
could give you a hint, maybe you should collect the geese in one spot. After all, getting to the goose chamber again may be important. Or not. Reality is notorious for lying. Can you blame it?
The second Malefic Man stands with the gun in his hand. He looks around, hands trembling, and takes a step back, gulping, eyes darting, expression shifting ever so slightly. Where is she? he thinks, he ponders this question, throwing it around his mind like a broken game of pong. A game of pong that's so shattered, a game of pong that is on fire, and burning all the way to unreality. And then he heard it. The Malefic Man has a daughter - she's around 15 years old, or around a little over twice the age she would have been when you last saw her (you didn't, but if you did, that would be her age), a little too young to drive a car, but if the driving age is 16, then 15 isn't that bad, but by that logic, you can justify a 14 year old driving a car as well. That's not the most reckless part, however. The most reckless part is that she's speeding down the avenue at a break-neck speed. Just fast enough to crash into KitRougard's "trap" - a van.
Kablam! Of course, the van was already on fire, thanks to reality, but now everything's on fire. Don't worry, she's alive. She's just not doing very well. Kinda grumpy. Reality-benders don't die that easily. "
GOD DAMN IT!!" she yells, storming from out the car, which is completely obliterated, upside down, on fire, but she doesn't care. "
NOW WHICH ONE OF YOU PUT THAT FUCKING BUS IN THERE?!" she says, pulling out a huge butcher's knife and flailing it around. Wuh-oh. I wouldn't want to be KitRougard right about now.
Malefic Man: 1/10 HP. Currently in the isolated goose chambers.
Second Malefic Man: 8/10 HP. He's got a gun. Wow.
Malefic Girl: 4/5 HP. Huge knife! Huge scary.
Goose Numero Uno: 7/7 HP. All chasing Anaphaxeton!
Goose Numero Dos: 7/7 HP. All chasing Anaphaxeton!
Goose Numero Tres: 7/7 HP. All chasing Anaphaxeton!
Author
Topic: Malefic Minds (Read 21795 times)