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Author Topic: Divine Fuckery: The End is Nigh  (Read 115649 times)

TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #405 on: January 04, 2019, 04:32:38 am »

"It's Mech-a-spider. Not 'Mechspider.' Mechaspider. Mech-a-spider. Mechaspider. Not Mechspider. Get it right."
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Parisbre56

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #406 on: January 04, 2019, 04:37:50 am »

((I dunno, the idea of giant robots being piloted by spiders sounds fun.))

Egan_BW

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #407 on: January 04, 2019, 03:30:13 pm »

"The original word had a superfluous syllable, so I improved it."
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I don't necessarily agree.

LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #408 on: January 04, 2019, 03:43:06 pm »

((I dunno, the idea of giant robots being piloted by spiders sounds fun.))
“THAT SOUNDS AMAZING!”
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Ïlul Thuveg-Ellest
Rete Sano-Pima
Tormuk Dul-Orax
Kar Pum-Sisha

IronyOwl

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #409 on: January 04, 2019, 03:59:54 pm »

Name: Ultra
God Level: Demi
Power: 4
Description: A magnificent Hearty Boy whose eyes glow with incandescent power.
Notes: -


Start breeding more chaos beasts. Use my newfound profession as an icebreaker to go hit on the Squishy Boy again.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #410 on: January 04, 2019, 05:13:53 pm »

Name: Ultra
God Level: Demi
Power: 4
Description: A magnificent Hearty Boy whose eyes glow with incandescent power.
Notes: -


Start breeding more chaos beasts. Use my newfound profession as an icebreaker to go hit on the Squishy Boy again.

CAREFUL MY SON. DO NOT FALL UNTO THE WRONG PATH LIKE YOUR BROTHER, THE ARCH-TRAITOR  FLEXIUS
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Ïlul Thuveg-Ellest
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Kar Pum-Sisha

TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #411 on: January 04, 2019, 06:46:15 pm »

"You don't understand, Anaconda. Mechaspiders are my creation, and soon to be my greatest contribution to this universe. I decide how it's spelt. Besides, I'll be making Mech Spiders for Borkle and his boys later, and I'd like to avoid confusion.
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #412 on: January 04, 2019, 10:03:09 pm »

"You don't understand, Anaconda. Mechaspiders are my creation, and soon to be my greatest contribution to this universe. I decide how it's spelt. Besides, I'll be making Mech Spiders for Borkle and his boys later, and I'd like to avoid confusion.

”FUCK YEAH!”
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Ïlul Thuveg-Ellest
Rete Sano-Pima
Tormuk Dul-Orax
Kar Pum-Sisha

Parisbre56

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #413 on: January 05, 2019, 05:52:55 am »

((I guess spiders are a good holy animal for a god of creation and destruction. They create beautiful webs and use them to bring death.))

TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #414 on: January 05, 2019, 06:52:35 am »

They're also machines, and a machine can do just about any destructive or creative act if enough resources and effort are dedicated to it.
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #415 on: January 05, 2019, 12:28:37 pm »

Do'n a post.

piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #416 on: January 05, 2019, 01:17:24 pm »

I update the record as I do it by the way, and the thing allows comments so....I guess feel free to follow along and shout things at me.

piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #417 on: January 05, 2019, 05:24:16 pm »

Get out this stinking hole and search for the slabs of chaos so I can use them for...stuff. Attempt to gather an army of magic users too whileI'm at it (1 power)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[6+1]
Haku evades the homicidal advances of the gods during the creation of the underworld and takes advantage of the chaos in the world to attack one of the old fortress cities and abscond with a Tablet of chaos. With this tablet he goes on to conquer other lands and fortresses, gaining greater chaos powers as he does and press ganging whole populations into his service.  Over the course of a decade he eradicates the forces of Miracles and divinity from the western continent and unites the population into a dark "Might makes right"  Autocracy within himself as the leader.  Haku's Wizard Murderrealm is a place of great obsidian towers, mad necromancers, subjugated peasants, and gladiator battles instead of elections.

Quote
Name: Hectorclese the Stout
God level: Minor
Power: 5 - probably
Sphere: Victory and Feasting
Description: The Heartiest of Hearty Boys, the pinnacle of what they can be; big and strong, he's always on the lookout for something to eat. He walks among mortals with a dim glow around him, a clear sign of his deification.
Notes: Smarting over the loss of some Heart Boys in the Food Invasion

"Excellent, feasting and the potential for victory all in one place! I love it."

3 power on turning the feasting hall into my own personal space vessel with which I will attempt to attack the chaos dude's voidships in order to gain the Antipathy Curry and have it as the main dish of a feast with my new cohort of Hearty Boys.
[5+2]
Hectorclese severs the NeoKitchen from the Punchship with the express intention of using it to capture the Curry of Antipathy. With this in mind he rockets off towards the chaos armada at irresponsible speed and instead of engaging them in battle simply slams directly into them with the great bulk of his craft. The Neokitchen survives the impact, but the chaos craft are ripped to shreds and their cargo scattered in all directions. The curry, reduced to a miasma, forms the Nebula of Hate, a great gaseous cloud of evil.

Just to confirm, the power is what we gain after taking into account any power loss, right?

Fuse some pure destruction with Anaconda.

"Enjoy your new power."

[5]
Credst endows the Anaconda Ship with a measure of Pure Destructive power.  (Anaconda power set to full)

Give more subtle help to mortals in need. Also, lead Lizarkar out of my burrow and back to the mortal world.

Spoiler: Ep (click to show/hide)
[3] Ep offers some minor help to mortals but the exact effects and results, if any a really changed from how they would have been originally, are hard to discern.

Use 1 power to instruct the energy Siphons to, in my name, feast upon the torrent of fresh souls entering the underworld and use the energy to multiply. They should try to eat only those parts of the souls that are corrupted by chaos or other evils. The rest will be left to wander the underworld until Manor decides what to do with them, as per our agreement.
EDIT: The souls of demigods should be left alone. They shall receive special treatment.

Eat the best pieces of the corrupted souls. I will need power to go out and corrupt the souls of mortals for my minions to eat and for the inevitable battle with other gods.


[2] Sucker finds himself unable to enter the Underworld without paying a 3 power toll. He commands his kin to act in a certain way but either they do not hear him or do not care, as they continue to act on their own.

Spoiler: Attom (click to show/hide)


Use 1 power to Hunt and destroy the chaos-voidships that took the curry of antipathy and use their passagers as condiments for it
[5]
Attom drifts into the Nebula of Hate and plucks up the remnants of the chaos ships and their crew. He grinds them into a find powder and scatters them throughout the new cloud of galactic malevolence.

Tell my mechspiders to set up a hanger bay, and start building smaller voidships. Once completed, they are to begin searching the universe for parts of my original body, to be integrated into the Dreadnaught, making it even more powerful.

Meanwhile, sail towards the chaos realm and bully the puny little chaosvoidships. 1 Power towards fighting.
If I get an opportunity, bombard the chaos realm.

Also, tell the spiders to let the boar thing into the Dreadnaught, and to keep an eye on it.


Spoiler: Anaconda (click to show/hide)
[5][6+1]
Anaconda's Dreadnought scoops up the Giving Boar before immediately cranking into high gear. It turns round and rockets across the void at high speed, its crew frantically constructing Search Spider Drone swarms and releasing them as the voidship approaches its destination. The Dreadnought simply smashes through one chaos voidship in its path and then turns hard and dives into battle against the realms of chaos.  Anaconda razes much of the realm of chaos with clockwork bombs and mechaspider raids, killing off a full quarter of the population.

The blood lord has sent me here, to this unending maze. Perhaps there are souls here, perhaps not. But there are in the mortal realm. Follow the mouse god back to the mortal plane
Spoiler: Lizarkar (click to show/hide)
Lizarkar allows himself to be lead back into the mortal realm.

It is time to recover. Send the moon of tormented souls to the underworld after absorbing half of it into myself, we need the power for what is to come. Summon the good souls out of the world and make them new bodies, use 1 power. Then, aid my new creations and go to war against chaos to destroy the slabs (1 power). BURN THE HERETICS.

"Chaos is spreading. Begone!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[2][4+1][6+1v1]
Manor attempts to wrangle the screaming moon but it resists his efforts. Despite this, he focuses his attention on the good souls. He forms new bodies for them from the elements and casts them onto the eastern continent of Akahet. That done, he descends once more to the mortal realm and annihilates the slabs of chaos, including those owned by Haku. Their influence is ended but their teachings remain.

In the northwestern region of Akahet that was mostly untouched by Indivita's initial godfall, a small sprout slowly pulls itself out of the ground, collecting leaves and branches with magical energy to form a hand to claw its way to freedom. Over the course of a few years, this entity forms a humanoid shape, and an identity: it is Lilith, and it will safeguard the natural beauty of this planet.

Lilith's first step is to collect a plethora of seeds from nearby forests and to spread them to grasslands, massively speeding their growth with her nature powers.

Spoiler: Lilith (click to show/hide)
[2]
Lilith walks the earth, spreading seeds among the grasslands. However, her actions are by no means any more effective or special than if a mortal had done the same.

Just let this vessel take me where it will.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
After being dragged in from the Void, the Giving Boar positions itself in the cockpit of the dreadnought and watches quietly as all the events of the Punch Crusade unfold.

Try to get my weapon back, then go to the chaos realm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[6]
Blarg grabs his weapon by just opening a window and grabbing it. He then, slightly cold from his exposure to pure vacuum, decides to heat things up by flying directly into the realm of chaos. Crashing into it specifically, during one of Anaconda's bombardments. The Voidship is destroyed but Blarg survives, albeit slightly dazed and confused about where he is.

Mingle with our Hedonists and influence them to spread love wherever they go. Especially to ships and crews that they have already infiltrated.

Also Spend 3 power running away from Anaconda. Sprinkle Pheromones at them as we go.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[6][3+2]

Aigresaur gleefully dances his way through the destruction completely unharmed, avoiding Anaconda and the violent advances of the Punch Crusade. As he waltzes about, he scoops up the hedonists and their spawn and places them on great orgy ships to carry their particular variety of love to the outer reaches of the universe.

Spoiler: Vurol (click to show/hide)

Use 1 power to grant the ability to make more Star Kraken using absorbed matter to the Star Kraken. Tell him to devour the beasts of the Realm of Chaos
[4+1]
Vurol imbues the slime of the Star Kraken with the ability of self replication and orders the beast to attack the Realms of Chaos.

"I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN LIKE A DEER, FLEXIUS!"

Set the course for the Mortal Realm; I shall find Flexius there.
Use 1 power to turn my Chaos Energy Pike into a Light Matter Pike.
If I find Flexius there, attack him.


Spoiler: The Prowler (click to show/hide)
[2+1][6][5v6]
The Prowler causes the chaos energy of its pike to take on a whitish glow but the nature of it does not change. It then gives chase, following Flexius towards the mortal realm at high speed. Once The Prowler sights Flexius' Chaos Voidwarship it attempts to slam directly into the vessel, but Flexius manages to evade and the Prowler collides with the barrier around the mortal realm. Its ship is destroyed though the Prowler is unhurt, and both it and the wreckage sit upon the barrier like flies splattered on a windshield.


Name: Borkle, He-Who-Punches-Your-Face
Sphere: Conflict and battle
Power: 16 (I gave 3 to Anaconda, and gained 2z)
Notes: TOO SWOLE TO CONTROL. 188 Hearty Boys, 18 Hard Boys


Continue beating the snot out of chaos. Gift Hecter 50 Boys and 100 chaos hounds to crew his ship as a Birthday present. Space the Hedonist boys if they’re not already out. Send a message to this Prowler dude, as he seems alright. Invite him on the Punch Crusade
[6v2]
Borkle abandons the captain's seat of his grand punch ship and literally leaps into battle from low orbit with the greatest punch the universe has ever seen. The impact shatters the realms of chaos into seven fragments of chaos and sets them adrift.

[1]
Blarg accidentally vents his legendary weapon into the void.
Mid-battle, reach casually up to pluck Supper's End from the void as it goes hurtling conveniently past, recognising it as my trusty ladle despite its strange new form. I will devote 1 power to this gleeful perversion of the laws of probability.   

Then, whether that succeeds or not, shout a warcry and lead a group of elite food elementals in a sortie of... sorts; boarding the nearest chaos ship, destroying any resistance before hijacking it to ram and board the next chaos ship, and so on until all the chaos forces are slain or otherwise defeated and the Curry is secure. Spend another 1 power on this.
I really wanted to spend more on my first action, but I only have three and would rather not leave myself at the mercy of the dice in a major combat such as this...


If I we manage to succeed in claiming the curry this turn, load it onto the Food Cruiser and set off again.
We'll use the rest of the decade to outfit the Food Cruiser with an array of crockpot cannons and other food-themed void artillery (1 power on that), as well as recovering from any casualties we may have suffered, training, and, of course, offering plenty of prayers to Attom.
   


Quote from: Sheet
Name: Užina
God Level: Demi
Power: 3         
Description: A tall, humanoid figure seemingly formed out of flexible breadrolls, with bagel hands and tomato soup in place of blood. Its head is a dark, hefty loaf of rye, with only a couple of creases and a cryptic pattern of seeds and flour resembling anything akin to a 'face'.
Notes: Awakened food elemental
[1+1][2]

Uzina unfortunately arrives too late to do much of anything. His shouted plans and motivational speeches seem somewhat comical now.

Spoiler: Logic (click to show/hide)
This place was kinda bland - so much potential, but no intelligent life? TIME TO FIX THAT!
First, go back to the Science Ship. Don't wanna get lost!
Next, Spend 3 Power: Create a sphere of logic and intelligence, and SHOVE it into the superstructure.

It should be absorbed into the structure, and new living creations should have a mind of their own with which to think.
Should.
But you never know in this place.
[1]
Enal tries to return to his ship but in the process stumbles into the substructure of the great galactic machine and encounters its mechanism clad gooey inhabitants. They lead him deeper inside and he quickly loses track of where his ship is. [4+2] Despite this, he gifts them with an object of his own creation; a condensed sphere of pure logic, intellect, and sapience.

Spend one power on each: Keeping Lilith from overgrowing my turf, keeping Kawder(?) from taking over a city, anything else that isn't a major god's fault.
Spend the remaining power to regain control of my empire or what's left of it... using any means necessary.


Spoiler: Zarel (click to show/hide)
[6+2]
Zarel, seeing the actions of Haku on the opposite continent, follows his example but with the powers of divinity. He unites the scattered tribes with the ability to wield miracles under his banner and leads them on a crusade to wipe out the taint of chaos. Zarel's Theocracy reconquers the old fortress cities and rebuilds them as Temple fortresses. Zarel is worshiped as a god and the ability to perform miracles is attributed to his existence.  The Theocracy, after taking complete control of the eastern continent, prepares to continue its crusade, this time against Haku and his evil empire.

This looks fun; I presume new demi-gods are still being accepted?
Spoiler: Cawder (click to show/hide)

Dedicate myself as prophet of Manor; use my new-found power to build up a following and attempt to seize control of the Westernmost Fortress City in his name!
[1]
Cawder attempts to spread the word of Manor to the Theocracy of Zarel but is almost immediately captured and declared a heretic. He is imprisoned in the deep places of the fortress.

Name: Ultra
God Level: Demi
Power: 4
Description: A magnificent Hearty Boy whose eyes glow with incandescent power.
Notes: -


Start breeding more chaos beasts. Use my newfound profession as an icebreaker to go hit on the Squishy Boy again.
[2][5]
Ultra's attempts to breed beasts fail, but his personal attempts go quite well and soon the Perfect Female is inseparable from him. They sit and watch the Realm of Chaos explode from a romantic spot on the Punchship.






Power:

Haku 5
Hectorclese 3
Anaconda 5
Manor 4
Aigresaur 5
Vurol 3
Borkle 4
Enal 1
Zarel 5
Ultra 2

The Searching Spiders scatter and search.

The Orgyships fly off into the darkness of the void.

The Fragments of Chaos drift randomly.  One Drifts into the Nebula of Hate. Another hits the edge of the Underworld. A third drifts towards the Mechaslime Megastructure.

The Mechaspider Armada intercepts the Screaming moon and begins harvesting souls.

The Star Kraken devours one of the fragments of Chaos and replicates itself.

The Mechaslimes finish the construction of their God Machine.

The Nebula of Hate beings to swirl and condense around the fragment of chaos that has fallen into it, forming a nascent, malignant star.

The Good Mortals form their own settlements on the plains  outside of Zarel’s Theocracy.




   

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Its treason then?
« Reply #418 on: January 05, 2019, 05:59:16 pm »

ZAREL! Your people say you're a god, but tell me, why do you still allow that idiot Manor to still live and meddle with your worshippers? Claiming credit for what you do? I propose a temporary alliance, with our powers united we can destroy that idiot god! Then, and only then, we can kill each other and prove once and for all I, Haku, am the strongest being on Akahet!

If Zarel accepts my offer, strike against Manor alongside him. As it was proven with my battle with Sucker, our fighting experience and combined might will let us triumph over Manor's raw power.

If not, then kill Manor myself!

I'm tired of your meddling idiot god!


Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Wager vs Manor (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 07, 2019, 06:29:44 pm by ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES »
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ziizo

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #419 on: January 05, 2019, 06:04:23 pm »

Spoiler: Attom (click to show/hide)


Build the Oven of Attom a giant oven that will use the fully grow malignant star as fuel.
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.
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