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Voting closed: December 23, 2018, 05:57:41 am


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Author Topic: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!  (Read 31648 times)

Screech9791

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #30 on: December 24, 2018, 07:12:30 am »

Kills until nuke: 19

>Shoot my LMG at the cops, and hopefully the cover the cops are using cannot stand your typical intermediate-powered bullet meaning a 5.56x45mm NATO round should pierce their cover if they're using less sturdy materials, like wood and drywall, as cover. To save ammo on my LMG, use the underbarrel shotgun when needed.
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Yoink

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #31 on: December 24, 2018, 07:44:55 am »

LIE DOWN AND CRY PITEOUSLY.   
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you need to reconsider your life
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TankKit

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #32 on: December 24, 2018, 08:17:28 am »

BUY THE CITY, IT'S PROBABLY PRETTY CHEAP WITH ALL THIS DESTRUCTION GOING ON!
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

King Zultan

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #33 on: December 24, 2018, 09:32:27 am »

Chase after that hobo and kill him with my shovel.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #34 on: December 24, 2018, 11:47:24 am »

"You look pretty strong. Try and survive okay?"

HIT THE DEMON'S GATEKEEPER WITH MY....

Serious Series: Serious Consecutive Punches
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Doomblade187

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #35 on: December 24, 2018, 12:29:03 pm »

DEEP BENEATH THE CITY, THE EARTH RUMBLES, AND THE ALLOSAURUS ARMY RISES FROM THE DEAD. THE REALM OF DINOSAUR EARTH SHALL HAVE ITS REVENGE! FIGHT THE DEMONS AND BIRBS!
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
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CABL

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #36 on: December 25, 2018, 08:22:05 am »

Kills until nuke: 19

>Shoot my LMG at the cops, and hopefully the cover the cops are using cannot stand your typical intermediate-powered bullet meaning a 5.56x45mm NATO round should pierce their cover if they're using less sturdy materials, like wood and drywall, as cover. To save ammo on my LMG, use the underbarrel shotgun when needed.
(2 VS 2) YOU SEVERELY WOUND A COP, BUT YOU GET A BULLET IN YOUR DOMINANT ARM, MAKING YOU DROP THE LMG! (6) THE NANITE-INFUSED CONCRETE WALL MAKES FOR AN INSANELY GOOD COVER!

LIE DOWN AND CRY PITEOUSLY.   
(4) FEELING DEEP SADNESS THAT THE BOOBSIES HAVE LEFT YOU, YOU LAY DOWN (1) AND REALIZE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TEAR DUCTS, SO YOU CAN'T CRY! IT MAKES YOU BORDERLINE DEPRESSED!

BUY THE CITY, IT'S PROBABLY PRETTY CHEAP WITH ALL THIS DESTRUCTION GOING ON!
(1) THE MAYOR PERSONALLY TELLS YOU TO LEAVE THE CITY AND DON'T COME HERE EVER AGAIN: HE'S CLEARLY INSULTED AT THE VERY THOUGHT OF SOMEONE BUYING FUCKVILLE!

Chase after that hobo and kill him with my shovel.
(3) YOU BARELY PICK UP SOME SPLASHING WATER NOISES FROM THE NORTHWEST, SO YOU HEAD THAT WAY, (5) AND IT'S DEFINITELY THE HOBO FROM EARLIER! (6 VS 1) YOU SMASH HIS HEAD WITH YOUR SHOVEL AS HE BEGS FOR MERCY; HIS HEAD HAS EXPLODED INTO GORE, TAINTING YOUR ALREADY DIRTY CLOTHING WITH BLOOD AND BRAIN MATTER!

"You look pretty strong. Try and survive okay?"

HIT THE DEMON'S GATEKEEPER WITH MY....

Serious Series: Serious Consecutive Punches

(2 VS 6) WITH YOUR BOMBASTIC THEME PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND, YOU NIMBLY HOP FROM ONE SMALL FLOATING PLATFORM TO ANOTHER, REACHING THE GATEKEERER! THE GATEKEEPER AVOIDS YOUR DEADLY PUNCHES BY TELEPORTING AND GRABBING YOU FROM BEHIND, THEN SMASHING YOU INTO ADAMANTINE GATES, LEAVING YOU WITH MULTIPLE BROKEN BONES AND RIBS! "YOU'RE TOO PUNY FOR ME; YOU WILL BE DESTROYED!" - THE DEMON TAUNTS YOU!

DEEP BENEATH THE CITY, THE EARTH RUMBLES, AND THE ALLOSAURUS ARMY RISES FROM THE DEAD. THE REALM OF DINOSAUR EARTH SHALL HAVE ITS REVENGE! FIGHT THE DEMONS AND BIRBS!
(3 VS 2) (5 VS 2) THE ALLOSAURUS ARMY TURNS ALIVE AND STARTS FIGHTING DEMONS AND BIRD .GIFS, RESULTING IN A SMALL PUSHBACK AGAINST DEMONS AND A MAJOR VICTORY AGAINST BIRD .GIFS!

NPC TURNS:

AIR FORCE IS HERE!
THE ARMY: 2 TURNS


Quote from: THE BOOBSIES
INFECT SOME RANDOM PEOPLE!
(6 VS 6) THE BOOBSIES ENTER CITY'S METRO, WHERE THEY PROWL AROUND AND THEN EXPLODE AND RELEASE CANCEROUS BACTERIA THAT KILLS A HUGE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE! THE BOOBSIES THEMSELVES, HOWEVER, ARE NO MORE!
 
Quote from: NMBAA'S SPECIAL SECRET OPS
THERE ARE BIPEDAL DINOSAURS WALKING AROUND AND FIGHTING DEMONS... THE FUCK?!
THE RADIO STILL SAID THAT WE NEED TO KILL EVERYONE WHO'S ALIVE AT THE FACILITIES!

(6-1 VS 6+1) THE ATTACK ON BOTH DINOSAURS AND DEMONS HAS RESULTED IN AN ALMOST COMPLETE WIPEOUT OF THE NMBAA'S SSO, (4) LUCKILY FOR THEM, REINFORCEMENTS HAVE ARRIVED!

Quote from: BIRDEMIC SWARM
WE NEED FRESH BIRDS TO FILL OUR ARMY!
(1) THE EGG .JPEGS THAT THE BIRD .GIFS HAVE LAID SUDDENLY EXPLODE IN A (1) PATHETICALLY!

Quote from: THE AIR FORCE
ELIMINATE THE BIRD .GIFS
(5 VS 6-1) THE BIRD .GIFS SWARM GOES FOR ONE LAST STAND; THEY DIVE AND BOMB THE INTERCEPTOR, DEALING SOME SERIOUS CASUALTIES, (4) AND RESULTING IN MANY DOWNED INTERCEPTORS TO CRASH AND KILL A LOT OF CIVILIANS!

CITY POP: 2129362
DEAD: 490
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

TankKit

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #37 on: December 25, 2018, 08:31:34 am »

USING A CLEVER LOOPHOLE IN THE MAYOR'S POLICY OF NOT ALLOWING ME TO BUY FUCKVILLE, BUY THE MAYOR INSTEAD!
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Screech9791

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #38 on: December 25, 2018, 11:12:57 am »

Kills until nuke: 19

>Cast Gunshotus Deletus on myself to remove the gunshot I just got, healing myself back to having a healthy right arm. Kill people to save the town from bobcat mascots, demons, bird .gifs, and other stuff so that I can call in a nuke to devastate the entire city of Fuckville.
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ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #39 on: December 25, 2018, 11:38:54 am »

THIS GUY'S TOUGH! TIME TO USE MY FULL POWER TO PUNCH HIM!
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KitRougard

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #40 on: December 25, 2018, 01:40:12 pm »

THE VIRUS CONSIDERED ITS NEW SENTIENT LIFE. HIS CREATOR'S COMPUTER WAS CLEAN, GIVE OR TAKE THE TERABYTE OF WELL-MADE FURRY PORN. HE REALIZED THAT HIS CREATOR WAS TRYING TO BUY THE CITY. WELL, TIME TO JUST LOOPHOLE EVEN HARDER THAN HE WAS AND RUN A "LEGIT" VOTE FOR THE NEW MAYOR. THE VIRUS VOTED TANKKIT, THEN CLOSED THE VOTING SESSION. YOINK THUS BECAME THE NEW MAYOR IN A LANDSLIDE VOTE OF... 1-0. SEEMS LEGIT.

JESUS, ALMOST VOTED THE WRONG PERSON.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2018, 02:32:31 pm by KitRougard »
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TankKit

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #41 on: December 25, 2018, 01:41:43 pm »

MAKE SURE TO ALSO PRAISE THE VIRUS FOR IT'S EXCELLENT LOOPHOLING ABILITIES!
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

King Zultan

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #42 on: December 26, 2018, 04:00:09 am »

Get out of the sewers and kill more mascots with my shovel!
Logged
The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Doomblade187

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #43 on: December 26, 2018, 04:54:44 am »

TURN THE MIGHT OF THE ALLOSAURS AGAIST THE DEMON ARMY!
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

CABL

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #44 on: December 26, 2018, 10:11:31 am »

USING A CLEVER LOOPHOLE IN THE MAYOR'S POLICY OF NOT ALLOWING ME TO BUY FUCKVILLE, BUY THE MAYOR INSTEAD!
MAKE SURE TO ALSO PRAISE THE VIRUS FOR IT'S EXCELLENT LOOPHOLING ABILITIES!
THE VIRUS CONSIDERED ITS NEW SENTIENT LIFE. HIS CREATOR'S COMPUTER WAS CLEAN, GIVE OR TAKE THE TERABYTE OF WELL-MADE FURRY PORN. HE REALIZED THAT HIS CREATOR WAS TRYING TO BUY THE CITY. WELL, TIME TO JUST LOOPHOLE EVEN HARDER THAN HE WAS AND RUN A "LEGIT" VOTE FOR THE NEW MAYOR. THE VIRUS VOTED TANKKIT, THEN CLOSED THE VOTING SESSION. YOINK THUS BECAME THE NEW MAYOR IN A LANDSLIDE VOTE OF... 1-0. SEEMS LEGIT.

JESUS, ALMOST VOTED THE WRONG PERSON.
(2+1 VS 2) THE VIRUS HACKS AND ALTERS ALL OF THE CITY ELECTION RESULTS, SO THAT IT SEEMS THAT THE MAYOR WON THROUGH OBVIOUS VOTER FRAUD! (5) THE COPS BELIEVE YOU AND ARREST THE MAYOR, (5) BUT THEN YOU WALK TO THE POLICE OFFICERS AND ASK THEM IF THE FORMER MAYOR CAN BE TURNED TO PERSONAL SERVICE INSTEAD OF GOING TO JAIL, AND THEY REPLY, "YES, AS LONG AS YOU PAY US." YOU PAY THE CORRUPT COPS THEIR MONEY, AND SO FROM NOW ON, YOU'RE THE MAYOR OF FUCKVILLE, AND THE FORMER MAYOR IS YOUR PERSONAL SERVANT! (?) YOU PRAISE THE VIRUS THE SAME WAY YOU PRAISE THE SUN!

Kills until nuke: 19

>Cast Gunshotus Deletus on myself to remove the gunshot I just got, healing myself back to having a healthy right arm. Kill people to save the town from bobcat mascots, demons, bird .gifs, and other stuff so that I can call in a nuke to devastate the entire city of Fuckville.
(1) YOU WAVE YOUR HEALTHY ARM WHILE SCREAMING "GUNSHOTUS DELETUS" AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS, BUT YOU ACCIDENTALLY WAVE TOO WIDE AND BREAK YOUR WRIST BY HITTING THE WALL FROM EARLIER! (1-1 VS 4) A SWAT OFFICER USES GRENADE LAUNCHER ON YOU; YOU GET DAZED, THEN THE COPS CLOSE THE DISTANCE WITH YOU, BONK YOU IN THE HEAD WITH BATONS, THEN ARREST YOU!

THIS GUY'S TOUGH! TIME TO USE MY FULL POWER TO PUNCH HIM!
(1) YOU FAIL TO IGNORE YOUR BROKEN LEG AND ARM BONES; THE PAIN IS TOO MUCH, AND SO YOU DROP UNCONSCIOUS! (1) THE GATEKEEPER DECIDES TO NOT FUCK AROUND AND JUST STOMP YOU INTO A BLOODY PASTE! THE GATEKEEPER THEN VANISHES IN FLAMES! RESPAWN?

Get out of the sewers and kill more mascots with my shovel!
(3) YOUR SEARCHES FOR BOBCAT MASCOTS WOULD BE ALMOST FUTILE IF YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT A TERRORIST BIOLOGICAL BOMBING IN THE METRO: (6 VS 3) SEEING HOW THE ONES THAT WERE HIT BY THE CANCER BOMB TURN INTO BOOBSIES, YOU BEGIN TO DECAPITATE THE AGONIZED VICTIMS WITH YOUR SHOVEL! YOU KILL A LOT OF THEM, BUT THERE'S STILL MORE TO GO, ESPECIALLY SINCE SOME WE'RE ALREADY HOSPITALIZED!

TURN THE MIGHT OF THE ALLOSAURS AGAIST THE DEMON ARMY!
(5 VS 5) AS THE ALLOSAURS DESTROY THE CURRENT WAVE OF THE DEMONS, A NEWER ONE APPEARS, WITH SOME MANCUBI, BARONS OF HELL, AND REVENANTS IN THE COMPOSITION! THEY KILL A LOT OF ALLOSAURS AND MAKE THEM RETREAT AT THE SURFACE!

NPCS TURNS:

ONE TURN, AND THE ARMY WILL FINALLY ARRIVE!

Quote from: AIR FORCE
SCOUT THE CITY AND THE OUTSKIRTS, THEN REPORT ON THE RADIO!
(5) THE AIR FORCE FINDS SOME WEIRD FLOATING GUNSHIPS NEAR AN AREA THAT NMBAA CORP BOUGHT AND LIVING DINOSAURS! THEY'RE WAITING FOR THE ORDER TO ENGAGE THEM!

Quote from: NMBAA'S SSO
THE ALLOSAURS ARE GOING ON THE SURFACE; SHOOT THEM ALL!
(4 VS 3) SSO INFANTRY AND GUNSHIPS OPEN FIRE AT THE ALLOSAURS, MELTING SOME OF THEM WITH PLASMA!

Quote from: THE POLICE
WOWIE, THE DOOR MIGHT AS WELL RECYCLED AT THIS POINT!
ANYWAY, LET'S CHECK THE APARTMENT!
THE POLICE FINDS A SPLASH OF CANCEROUS TISSUE AND SOME DRIPS OF NASAL MUCUS AND TEARS, SUGGESTING THAT THE SUICIDAL MAN WAS DRIVEN TO SUICIDE BY SOMEONE... BUT WHAT ROLE DOES THE CANCEROUS TISSUE PLAYS IN THIS PLOT?! (1)(4 VS 3) ONE OF THE COPS TRIED TO COLLECT THE TISSUE INTO A VIAL, BUT SUDDENLY, THE TISSUE MORPHED INTO A BALL AND JUMPED AT HIS FACE AND INFECTED HIM! THE COPS IMMEDIATELY MERCY KILL THEIR COLLEAGUE, WITH THE TISSUE STOPPING TO GROW!

Quote from: HOSPITALIZED INFECTED
MORPH INTO BOOBSIES!
(6) THE PATIENTS RAPIDLY TURN INTO AMORPHOUS PILES OF CANCEROGENS, WITH THE DOCTORS IMMEDIATELY STARTING EVACUATION BEFORE THE SITUATION GETS WORSE!

CITY POP: 2129362
DEAD: 529
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.
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