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Author Topic: Clusterfuck: The Game  (Read 758 times)

SQman

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2019, 04:12:04 pm »

Could you reupload the save to DFFD? The link you provided is for some file called art_image-0.dat, and the site looks like it would give my computer cyber-AIDS.
Other than that, you should consider using Insert Image feature in the future so people don't have to jump between tabs just to see what's going on.

Archibald

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2019, 04:36:55 pm »

Could you reupload the save to DFFD? The link you provided is for some file called art_image-0.dat, and the site looks like it would give my computer cyber-AIDS.
Other than that, you should consider using Insert Image feature in the future so people don't have to jump between tabs just to see what's going on.

Well, I tried to enter into DFFD with an account I had before, but it was futile. It also wouldnīt let me use the forgot my password, because it told me I didnīt have an activated account (for some reason). Also, the insert image feature doesnīt work. i tried it many times but always failed.
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Archibald

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #17 on: February 09, 2019, 04:53:54 pm »

Wait, nevermind. Here it is.

NOTE: I think you have to find the fortress on your own because I retired and started a new one. It should be easy, since I posted pictures about its location. Hopefully nothing too chaotic happened.
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SQman

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #18 on: February 10, 2019, 10:09:41 am »

The overseer of Amusedhames, Archibald, needed to find a replacement fast. It was his time to finally retire, so someone else could take the blame if something bad was to happen. The problem was, he didn't know anybody trustworthy who could take this burden off his shoulders.  There was khalari, the local jeweler. There was also QuQuasar, a wannabe booze queen who wasn't even that good at brewing. And of course there was SQ, but...

"So... Are you actually a woman, or do you just shave your beard like a human?" Archibald decided to start with small talk this time, since it was probably his direct approach that had scared off all the other people he'd asked.

"Ah'm just a lost soul lookin' for a place fer myself in'nis here frontier town."

"A... a frontier town? It's a proper dwarven fortress; I made sure to give it a good start so it can rival the greatest fortresses when its time comes."

SQ didn't think much of Archibald's fake outrage. "Even a simple cowpoke like me could'a done a better job. Not like ah have anythin' against you; you just ain't a sheriff material."

"Oh, if you think you could lead the fortress better than I did, prove it instead of talking out of your ass!"

"Oh, ah will, ah will." SQ cleared her throat, then shouted from the top of her lungs: "Lis'sen y'all! This town's got a new sheriff!"


---

And that's how it all started. Gotta be said, I'm not terribly impressed by what's been done here so far. I had a nice long stroll around this town to see what's going on.



It's a huge mess. The... dining hall is just a buncha tables and chairs thrown into a hole, but not enough to make it useful.
The dorms ain't something I would want to sleep in, and I'm not gonna be forcing anyone to. We need to have proper bedrooms.
Farming ain't getting done properly. Them fields are big, but they lay fallow. Not to mention we've got just a single cow, not a herd I'd like to see.
There's a huge pile of stuff just lying there, barely sorted. I'm gonna have to clean it up soon.
The only way down is through an unnecesarily long corridor.



Rock and gem stockpiles. These are a little better than what's going on upstairs, but it needs some attention too.
The only existing bedrooms are absolutely clossal. Only nobility and administration should have them that big. A cowgirl like me can do with a stack of hay, and other guys deserve at least a two-by-two room.

All metal we have access to right now is gold and zinc, nothing to make pickaxes out of. I'll have to begin expanding with just two miners to order around.

We're in no position to specialize the workforce. You know what they say, don't go brushing a cow when it's starving. Or something like that. Our cow is starving, so all those dedicated jewelers can get to freakin' work!



The bedrooms go first. The manager didn't even have an office, so I couldn't order the furniture to be made. Had to assign a table in the dining room for that.



The workshops near the wood stockpile need to go. A single carpenter's shop won't make furniture at any reasonable rate, so we have to make space for more of them.



We're also seriously lacking any kind of seeds, and there's nothing to drink. No idea how it came to this, but this problem is also a priority. I've ordered to brew as much of surface plants as we can fit in barrels, then we're gonna plant some by the entrance.



We grow radishes now. Those ain't plump helmets, but we've got enough seeds, and the wine is good.



Winter has come, and we still haven't finished the bedrooms. It would be nice to get some help in here. Carrying all those beds and cabinets isn't anyone's favorite job.



Oh, now I know why rock dor production was so sluggish. The furniture stockpile is upstairs, so folks need to haul heavy stuff through that damn long-ass corridor twice - once to get it to the stockpile, and once to instal it in place. Need to have a new stockpile done for rock furniture.



Food industry overhaul coming right up. We're gonna have everything in one room so that I don't have to run around looking for the right workshop to pin a notice to. There's gonna be a screw mill and a millstone in there too, but we don't need them now, and we can't really spare any work.



Enough of putting filthy beards in precious booze; now we're drinking like civilized folks we are. There was a small supply of potash, yet something as basic as mugs was missing completely.



Here are the plans of a new wood stockpile. The little pile and that single carpenter's shop are not enough even for the smallest of outposts. We're building a boom town here, for gods' sake.



Finally done! Now we all have a place to sleep, complete with a cabinet and a chest.



We've survived the winter, as weird as it seems. We still have no workers, and the children just keep drinking our rye beer, giving nothing back. My job is to rebuild the fortress from scratch, and that I will do!

---

No offense to Archibald, but the fort really is a clusterfuck. Weird choices all over the place, like the gigantic bedrooms. I think that if the next migrant wave isn't a big one, I'll spend the rest of my turn setting up basic facilities that were somehow missing in a 1.5 year old fort. Again, bedrooms.

In my last fort I had only two children arrive with migrants, and in the end the fort was over 200 people strong. I almost forgot how horrible it is when half of the fort's population is unable unwilling to work.

One last thing: When I started it was mid-autumn 126. Should I play up to spring 128 to even things out?

Khalari

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2019, 11:53:23 am »

Sure, everyone gets 12 months  :D
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Archibald

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #20 on: February 10, 2019, 12:48:14 pm »

The overseer of Amusedhames, Archibald, needed to find a replacement fast. It was his time to finally retire, so someone else could take the blame if something bad was to happen. The problem was, he didn't know anybody trustworthy who could take this burden off his shoulders.  There was khalari, the local jeweler. There was also QuQuasar, a wannabe booze queen who wasn't even that good at brewing. And of course there was SQ, but...

"So... Are you actually a woman, or do you just shave your beard like a human?" Archibald decided to start with small talk this time, since it was probably his direct approach that had scared off all the other people he'd asked.

"Ah'm just a lost soul lookin' for a place fer myself in'nis here frontier town."

"A... a frontier town? It's a proper dwarven fortress; I made sure to give it a good start so it can rival the greatest fortresses when its time comes."

SQ didn't think much of Archibald's fake outrage. "Even a simple cowpoke like me could'a done a better job. Not like ah have anythin' against you; you just ain't a sheriff material."

"Oh, if you think you could lead the fortress better than I did, prove it instead of talking out of your ass!"

"Oh, ah will, ah will." SQ cleared her throat, then shouted from the top of her lungs: "Lis'sen y'all! This town's got a new sheriff!"


---

And that's how it all started. Gotta be said, I'm not terribly impressed by what's been done here so far. I had a nice long stroll around this town to see what's going on.



It's a huge mess. The... dining hall is just a buncha tables and chairs thrown into a hole, but not enough to make it useful.
The dorms ain't something I would want to sleep in, and I'm not gonna be forcing anyone to. We need to have proper bedrooms.
Farming ain't getting done properly. Them fields are big, but they lay fallow. Not to mention we've got just a single cow, not a herd I'd like to see.
There's a huge pile of stuff just lying there, barely sorted. I'm gonna have to clean it up soon.
The only way down is through an unnecesarily long corridor.



Rock and gem stockpiles. These are a little better than what's going on upstairs, but it needs some attention too.
The only existing bedrooms are absolutely clossal. Only nobility and administration should have them that big. A cowgirl like me can do with a stack of hay, and other guys deserve at least a two-by-two room.

All metal we have access to right now is gold and zinc, nothing to make pickaxes out of. I'll have to begin expanding with just two miners to order around.

We're in no position to specialize the workforce. You know what they say, don't go brushing a cow when it's starving. Or something like that. Our cow is starving, so all those dedicated jewelers can get to freakin' work!



The bedrooms go first. The manager didn't even have an office, so I couldn't order the furniture to be made. Had to assign a table in the dining room for that.



The workshops near the wood stockpile need to go. A single carpenter's shop won't make furniture at any reasonable rate, so we have to make space for more of them.



We're also seriously lacking any kind of seeds, and there's nothing to drink. No idea how it came to this, but this problem is also a priority. I've ordered to brew as much of surface plants as we can fit in barrels, then we're gonna plant some by the entrance.



We grow radishes now. Those ain't plump helmets, but we've got enough seeds, and the wine is good.



Winter has come, and we still haven't finished the bedrooms. It would be nice to get some help in here. Carrying all those beds and cabinets isn't anyone's favorite job.



Oh, now I know why rock dor production was so sluggish. The furniture stockpile is upstairs, so folks need to haul heavy stuff through that damn long-ass corridor twice - once to get it to the stockpile, and once to instal it in place. Need to have a new stockpile done for rock furniture.



Food industry overhaul coming right up. We're gonna have everything in one room so that I don't have to run around looking for the right workshop to pin a notice to. There's gonna be a screw mill and a millstone in there too, but we don't need them now, and we can't really spare any work.



Enough of putting filthy beards in precious booze; now we're drinking like civilized folks we are. There was a small supply of potash, yet something as basic as mugs was missing completely.



Here are the plans of a new wood stockpile. The little pile and that single carpenter's shop are not enough even for the smallest of outposts. We're building a boom town here, for gods' sake.



Finally done! Now we all have a place to sleep, complete with a cabinet and a chest.



We've survived the winter, as weird as it seems. We still have no workers, and the children just keep drinking our rye beer, giving nothing back. My job is to rebuild the fortress from scratch, and that I will do!

---

No offense to Archibald, but the fort really is a clusterfuck. Weird choices all over the place, like the gigantic bedrooms. I think that if the next migrant wave isn't a big one, I'll spend the rest of my turn setting up basic facilities that were somehow missing in a 1.5 year old fort. Again, bedrooms.

In my last fort I had only two children arrive with migrants, and in the end the fort was over 200 people strong. I almost forgot how horrible it is when half of the fort's population is unable unwilling to work.

One last thing: When I started it was mid-autumn 126. Should I play up to spring 128 to even things out?

Kek. I apologize. My style is more oriented to utilitarianism than aesthetics. The long corridor was, at first, meant to be a library, but then I remembered I had more stuff to do so that idea was scrapped. Then I came up with the idea to build two stairways (one that would lead to living quarters while another deeper into the earth) but that also got messed up. The dorms and dining hall were taken from a quick tutorial I remembered from my very first fortress. As for stockpiles, I wanted everything to be in one place until the fortress had enough manpower for individual industries.
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QuQuasar

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2019, 04:33:12 am »

Okay, I think I've got my dwarves voice. Let me test it out.

*ahem*

There was also QuQuasar, a wannabe booze queen who wasn't even that good at brewing.
THEFUCKHj you thinbk ayou're saying?!@? I'm the bustklklj the best the BEST FUCKING BREKWERINTGHEFGUCKING- hurgh- FUCKING PLACE. Is not my fault. Is not muy fult this fucking RADIOSH FUCKING...

I forgot what I was- right.

FUCKING RADISHES. Are the reson. The reson the booze sucks. Cos it wasn there. Nonexistant booze. SUCKs. COS NOWHONE WHAS GROWING the fucking fucking RADISHES!

But now we gots the fucking radishes yes thwe radiskessssss we can make thebeooooze.

WHOSE IN CHARGE OF THAT its me I'm the booze queen. An yer. Yer me best mate buddy ol' pal ol' buddy ol' friend. An you can trusme. You can trust me. Ta Make the BESJKL. FUCKING. RASHID. DARISH. RA- DUH- ISH nailed it. WINE... Ale... beer? WHAD ya make from. Radishes. The best.

An then. AND THEN! An then I think I'm gonna- BLEAAARGH! Be overseer. Yeah. Gonna do that. Better n' you fckin' farm peoples... zzzzzZZZZzzzzzz.

[THUD]

THE FLOORS ARE ATTACKING!

---------------------------------

Can you guess what character quirk I've given her? I'm worried I might have been too subtle.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2019, 04:44:52 am by QuQuasar »
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SQman

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2019, 05:07:39 am »



It's the first day of the new year, and I gotta say, the thing I've seen got me down; got me down lower than a rattlesnake sleeping under a rock. All those folks celebrating surviving another year, having to make do with those four miserable tables to serve as a dining hall... No, this is no way to get completely hammered. We need a proper dining hall/tavern/inn!

The hole for the boozeroom has been dug out, but I can't get Sakzul, the manager, to approve of my order for tables and chairs. He claims it's up to him to plant the rhubarb, or watever he was saying.

I don't like the idea of us growing rhubarb. It can't be made into booze, it can't be spun into thread, it can't be squeezed into oil... Gotta find some better crops.



I was wondering where all those rhubarb and celery seeds were. Apparently we have literally no bags, and not even an outline of any textile industry.



Just because some weeds are edible doesn't mean we have to eat them raw like cows on a pasture. The taste is almost bearable once you put some cheese on them.



Khalari has always been a little out there, but lately he must have breathed too much fumes from roasted rhubarbs. He just stormed out of the kitchen, ran down to the jeweler's shops, put all the tools on the table, and started working on a handful of pink jades. I don't wanna interrupt him. Maybe something good will come out of it.



All this food we've been making? Rotting in the kitchen. I asked someone why it's the case, and he told me that someone prohibited hauling of food. For gods' sake, everyone needs to haul!




Khalari emerged from the jeweler's workshop with a polished piece of jade in his hand. He claims it's perfect craftsdwarfship, but I'm no expert on rocks.



The tavern is done. For now. I call it The House of Meat. It's gonna be smoothed out, but not now when we desperately need more workers.



It's now summer, and I still feel like I haven't achieved anything at all. I guess I'm just waiting for migrants like a buzzard waiting for an old buffalo to die.

---

Okay, the fort is having a massive problem with labor shortage. I managed to set up a proper tavern/dining hall and textile industry.

Textile industry is vital, because we have so much rhubarb seeds it's not funny anymore, so we need bags for all of that. Unfortunately the only source of cloth is pig tails. Man, what wouldn't I give for a serious llamasplosion...

Other than that, I'm pretty much done with the very basics; just gotta take care of the metal industry so when migrants come, it will be possible to set up proper professional army. Oh, we may have to dig deeper to see if there are any useful ores down there, because we have nothing other than zinc and gold.

The fort also needs some reinforcing, because an intruder could simply waltz in without being seen by anyone, and kill everyone with little to no resistance. I already ordered to build a bridge out of gypsum blocks. Since nobody is really doing anything with that project, I may change it to fire- and magma-safe sphalerite.

Almost all dwarves had some kind of hauling disabled. It's not acceptable at this stage, as food keeps rotting in the kitchen. In the later stages, there may be professional haulers to keep important dwarves from wasting time, but now we can't afford such luxury just yet.

Khalari

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #23 on: February 12, 2019, 06:00:35 am »

Craft some gold wares. We wanna be able to buy a lot of things from the next caravan.

Also, find the caverns. There's always plump helmets down there, you can also find spider webs to turn into silk bags.
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Khalari

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2019, 06:02:21 am »

Rock pots also carry seeds AFAIK
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SQman

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2019, 02:02:15 pm »

Craft some gold wares. We wanna be able to buy a lot of things from the next caravan.

Also, find the caverns. There's always plump helmets down there, you can also find spider webs to turn into silk bags.

I'm actually trying to keep the fort value low, because I don't want this fort to get attacked by anything now. Making a proper military will be a challenge with no usable metal. Or maybe I should produce more to get more migrants to come?
I'm not opening up the caverns for the same reason - safety. Cave crocs are no joke.

No, rock pots carry food and drinks, not seeds. I've been making them the whole time. The best solution for the bag problem would be to set the underground farm to grow pig tails every season we can.

Khalari

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #26 on: February 12, 2019, 03:41:52 pm »

I'm actually trying to keep the fort value low, because I don't want this fort to get attacked by anything now. Making a proper military will be a challenge with no usable metal. Or maybe I should produce more to get more migrants to come?
I'm not opening up the caverns for the same reason - safety. Cave crocs are no joke.

Get dwarves training with no equipment. They'll train all manners of useful skills such as dodging, fighting, etc.

Also, if you just breach the caverns and then immediately close them off with walls, there should appear some plants in any soil floor underground and nothing can break constructed walls as of this version of DF.

Finally, and most importantly, !!FUN!! is fun 😁😁
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Archibald

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #27 on: February 12, 2019, 06:10:34 pm »

Craft some gold wares. We wanna be able to buy a lot of things from the next caravan.

Also, find the caverns. There's always plump helmets down there, you can also find spider webs to turn into silk bags.

I'm actually trying to keep the fort value low, because I don't want this fort to get attacked by anything now. Making a proper military will be a challenge with no usable metal. Or maybe I should produce more to get more migrants to come?
I'm not opening up the caverns for the same reason - safety. Cave crocs are no joke.

No, rock pots carry food and drinks, not seeds. I've been making them the whole time. The best solution for the bag problem would be to set the underground farm to grow pig tails every season we can.

How about a temple or hospital?
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Khalari

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #28 on: February 12, 2019, 06:44:03 pm »

All in due time. Hospital shouldn't be necessary if no one attacks us, though.
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QuQuasar

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Re: Clusterfuck: The Game
« Reply #29 on: February 12, 2019, 09:44:29 pm »

Hospital shouldn't be necessary if no one attacks us, though.
SQMan, start building that hospital now. After a comment like that I'll be surprised if we have any surviving dwarves in a month.
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