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[QuQuasar]

A zinc hat, a golden crown and now a wheelbarrow. What are those monkeys up to?

The wheelbarrow is simply so they can carry off more hats next time.

Suggestion: outdoor stockpile with nothing but hats in it.So long as we keep appeasing the langurs with ever-more valuable hats, we will be safe.

[SQman]

The wheelbarrow is for carrying the king of monkeys around the woods.
I, for one, suggest leaving montly offerings of gold trinkets and rhubarb-based meals for or new simian overlord.

[Archibald]

The wheelbarrow is for carrying the king of monkeys around the woods.
I, for one, suggest leaving montly offerings of gold trinkets and rhubarb-based meals for or new simian overlord.

They are obviously getting smarter. We might experience a planet of the apes scenario.

[Khalari]

I think someone died.... Oops!



Defined a burrow for emergencies which encompasses only the inside of our fortress.

Moved our animals closer to our fort and setting up the area to be enclosed so they're part of the "inside" while being outside.

For some reason, the children love playing make believe in the hospital.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Dormitory has been built.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Migrants have arrived. Most of them children, ugh... Our numbers have now swelled to over 100 dwarves!

Well, my year has come and gone. Sadly, I couldn't finish my last project which was to create an enclosure for our pets, but I'm sure the next overseer will be more than up to the task.

Our animal enclosure is right on top of the fortress. There is a hole right on top of it. DO NOT FORGET to construct a floor there or it's a big hole right into the heart of the fort!!



Not much exciting happened, really, but maybe when we have a strong army we could start sending attacks and ruffle some feathers =D

Quick overview:

First Level

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

1. Farms;
2. Stills and assorted food-related workshops left by my predecessor;
3. Carpenter's Shops.

Second Level

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

4. Dinig Hall and Kitchens;
5. Gems and golden items to be encrusted;
6. Mason'r Workshops and Crafstdwarves' shops;
7. Clothiers;
8. Smelter, forges, etc;
9. Hospital + well;

Third Level

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

10. Bedrooms, offices and nest boxes;

Fourth Level

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

11. Dormitories


I finished my turn as the seasonal save went off going into autumn.

Here is the file.

[QuQuasar]

Issssd MYMTURN NOW! QUASARS DA BOSS! DA BOOZEBHOSSS QUERN! I mean queen. HAHAHAHAhahahaha I love you guys.

ALRIGHT! Lesssss take a look at this "plasé". Heh, I sound so sophifffticamated whben I say it like that.

*ahem*

So, first things first, the last guy I ALREADTY FORTGOT HIS ANME Kalamari something I think he was a squid...

ANYWAY he built uss a well an' he filled up the well but an' I realise I'm not a well expert but I'm pretty sure yer supposed to fill up the well with water...

... and not corpses.



So iiiii've not been drinkin' the corpse water, on account of it's corpse water. An' I don't think any of us should have to. So fuck it yer all learning the noblhe art of BREWING! An' we're building stills fer all of yeh to work on. EVERLASTING BOOZE...

... as soon as I remember how yer supposed to tell people what to do work. Fuck. I forgot.

OOC: Well this is weird. I can't set labors from the dwarf manipulator (ie. this thing). I hit enter and they turn on for a moment and then they turn off again. Don't know what's up with that, will need to look for a solution because I'm pretty sure I've never actually set labors the vanilla way. Anyway, back to drunk shenanigans.

Somehow the tunnels are an incomprehensible non-euclidian maze even though there's only, like, two of them? And we have two reservoirs. WHY ARE WE DRINKING CORPSES WHEN WE'VE GOT TWO RESERVOIRS?!



There must be some logic maybe I'm just be too smashed for this right now maybe I should sober up FUCKING NEVER.

ANYWAY THE REDUNDANT FUCKING DEATH WELL THAT WE DRINK OUT OF also opens into the caverns, too! Ffffffffuckin'ging genius it is fucking best smart overseer 10/10. Better remember to do something about that if I can remember any of this tomrrrow.

An... I'm gonna get magma. That'll bne my thing this year. Yeah. Magma. So we don't elves off the piss. hehehhahahahAHHAHAHA aaaah fuckin elves.

An' last of all I had everyone present themselves and their skills. Notable fuckers:

Unib, legendary+5 miner.
Domas, Chief medical dwarf and legendary+5 carpenter.
Sakzul, manager and Legendary+1 Armoursmith WHY ARE YOU HARVEST PLANT ARMOURMAN

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SMELT, I CARE WHAT YOU SMELT! Pfffff HAHAHAHAHAHAHaHaHaHahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHA I made me laugh. Back to the list:

Ast, Pro Hauler for some reason and legendary stoneworker,
Khalari, the squid. Are the corpse wells your fault? ARE THEY?!
Medtob, our most stressed dwarf. He's 18. It seems he was caught in the rain and it TRAUMATIZED THE FUCK OUT OF HIM OPR SOMETHING. Fucking teenagers. Also... ghosts?

OOC: Potential tantrum risk here. Will have to keep an eye on him. Also... ghosts? Nobody mentioned ghosts.

Quasar, Glorious Booze Queen and Grower of Radishes, long may she reign.
Archibald, the Mayor. Stomping around the place demanding a "Decent Office". haha fuck off.
'SQ', Cowgirl and Axedwarf. I am not convinced she is actually a half cow, but will take her word for it.

And a FFFFFffffFFFFffffffff shit-ton of children, fisherdwarves and farmers, all of whom couldn't be more useless if they tried. They're me mates. They're me best useless fuckers in the fortress. Cos they're the only useless fuckers in the forestsss treessss.

Fuck. I think I'm getting too sober for this. SOMEBODY CARRY ME TO MY GLORIOUS STILL I MUST BOOZE NOW! [collapses on the floor]

[Archibald]

Since when am I the mayor? I shoild have been the broker...

[Khalari]

QuQuasar, the first reservoir was supposed to feed the second one, but I accidentally breached a cavern lake and killed that poor miner while diggin the connection tunnel.

About the labors, I have dfhack's autolabor turned on. You can turn it off by running the following command on tyw dfhack screen: autolabor disable

[QuQuasar]

Okayokayokayokayokay less do this.

So I've been looking at the maps and this is just.. this is bad I can see this is bad NO FUCK THIS WE GONNA DIE. WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!



We are werebeast buffet of delicious boozy dwarf. So no more open-plan first floor. I'm walling off the entire fuckin' trade depot and the tunnel leading to it. Our new entrace will be directly behind the drade tepot.



Also, I'm going to wall off the cavern access to the corpse well, because fffffffff you know why.



An then I'll wait for everybody to finish their shit. There's some big-ass hole in the cielding the last guy didn't finish? Fuck it. Just do it.

What? Archibald what why why would we do that? Of course we're not going to export warhammers you moron, without iron that is the only weapon we can make.



No. No, stop this. Stop making me think! I JUST WANT TO MAKE BOOZE FUCK ALL YOU OFOOAOKK... [sobbing and puking noises]

--------------------------------

[some time later]

Okay. Okay, got some more DRINKY. Feel much better now. Let's see how things are going.



ANIMALS ARE SAFE NOW YEY.



Entrance tunnel is sealed off, also good.



And we're still wide open to the caverns because of that damn well. I WILL GO MAKE NOISES AT THE ARCHITECT NOW because I don't think I can fix this short of using a controlled cave-in to drop 4 levels of natural stone into it.

Also, I just realised most of us don't have bedrooms and are sleeping in what i assume is some sort of bed-and-child warehouse.



Oh, and there are half a dozen holes in the roof where people have cut trees out.



... okay, I didn't get enough booze last time. Please hold.

[Blackchibisan]

I literally have only seen QuQuasar's last two posts and the ones inbetween and am considering throwing my own hat in with just that much knowledge so I can stumble through this with limited knowledge of the base and the average knowledge base of a dwarf fortress player which is less than you will need but more than someone who hasn't played.

[Archibald]

I literally have only seen QuQuasar's last two posts and the ones inbetween and am considering throwing my own hat in with just that much knowledge so I can stumble through this with limited knowledge of the base and the average knowledge base of a dwarf fortress player which is less than you will need but more than someone who hasn't played.

Sure, as long as you don't screw up intentionally. We trying to survive as long as possible here. You need a title and how many in game years you want to play.

[Blackchibisan]

Not sure that I have the time to invest just yet so I'll get back to you on that.

And shame on you for suggesting I would do bad on Purpose, Archibald. XD All of the fun of dwarf fortress is trying to do everything right while the game tries to do you in. XD

[QuQuasar]

Why be dwarveses sleeping in dorms? HIC. It's not right. So, toild Unib to dig new bedrooms for all.



Wait, why does the majoyr need a decent fuckin' HIC whatever when this place exists? It's got a fucking godl dogl GOLD statue of HIC dwarves for fucks sake? Who owns this? What do you mean some useless stonecutter? What's his HIC name? Tell me his-



Welp. Okay, fuck it then. Guess you're in luck, Archibald. Can't have the mayor in rags when the CORPSEWELL KID HIMSELF gets ffffffuckin' this shit. HIC.

Unib! Dig the mayor a fucking mansion and make sure it's better than Khalari's. With HIC blackjack and hookers!


Traders. HIC. Not really in the mood guys. Just... fucking buy all the iron and meat and leather, opkay Archibald? that should be enough. Order iron and iron ore for next year or HIC whatever, okay?

And migrants, too. Seven in total, plus one kid. All exceedingly useless except the mechanic.

They want... bracelets, anvils and cloth.


Archibald thinks I care that she was embarrassed to conduct an official meeting in the HIC fuckin' dining hall. Take it up with Unibif I'm not excavating your shitty quarters fast enough, okay?


Alright HIC, that's the trading do HIC- FUCK THESE HICCUPS! I'm going to go get a drink to try and make them stop.


Some kiiiiidddd made fuckj ring. ficking rung us,less.




ITS A BEAR We're gonna fuckin' DIEEE COS BEARS ARE CRAZY!!



All soldierpeoples BEAR MURDER NOW PLEASE!



SQ GIRL COW PLEASE STOP TRYING TO PUNCH A BEAR TO DEATH WHERE IS YOUR AXE WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE AN AXE?!



I AM NOT SOBER ENOUGH FOR THIS AND EVERYONE WILL BLAME MEEEEEEE WHEN YOU.... YOU... you are actually doing pretty good?



Okay, fine then. Yeah. YEAH! PUMMEL THAT BEAR, SQ! Give it the ol' one two!



Yeah! BITE IT'S MOUTH OFF!

... hurgh. HURGH. No. Nope. I'm okay. I'm not gonna puke. Don't puke don't puke don't puke-



Bllleeaaaarrrrgh!!!

Urgh.

SQ is still pummeling it. Nobody else has reached it yet. I think this might be less self-defense and more just animal cruelty at this point? Fuck.



Oh. It got a bite in. That's self defense then, so it's morally acceptable.

Oh, here's Medtob and Onget. They also don't have weapons, so things are going to get worse before they get better.



Oh. Oh, they tore off it's nose. Excuse me, I- Bllleeaaaarrrrgh!!!

Do none of our military have weapons?

... oh thank god, the Militia Commander Cerol is here. He's got a copper short sword.



Thank you, Cerol. Now, I just need to go compose myself

[retching noises] HIC. AND MY FUCKING HICCUPS ARE BACK! [more retching noises]

[speciesunkn0wn]

WELP. PTW for sure. Because this is beautiful. If it's still going by summer, I'll definitely nab a spot. XD Right now too much to do with work and school. :/

[QuQuasar]

Fuckin' no weapons, no weaponsmith worht a damn., just sucks EVERYTHING SUCKS.

Maek some. MAKE SOME. I don't care how many, just as many as you can, oka?

Of course, Sakzul is the only one with weapon smithing and he's also the manager and one of our best growers. Which means if I stop him growin' there's gonne ab less booze. UNACCEPTABLE. Fuck. But if we're dead we can't drink either. FUCK.

Fine. Sakzul, yer on weapons duty. We'll train up others fore this shit.



Better also check the militias uniforns, make sure nothing is-

... the fuck?



You mean they were *instructed* not to get armour and weapons?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS SOMEONE COULD HAVE DIED THIS ISN'T A FUCKING KINDERGARDEN.

Well now everyone has weapoins and shit, so there. Im the best at this fucking job, apparently. An' that's a really fucking depressing thought because I'M ME.


And we've got no thread to sew up SQ's hand with, so I guess she gonna diiiiie of infection. Or I dunno we could process all this FUCKING RAT TAIL WEVE GOT. Why is nobody on threashing?! WGAT IUS ARWRONG WITH THIS PLACE?!


Found the deep caverns.




Found the deeper caverns.



I think... I think... I think you're me best maaate...

But I also think we go through these rather than around them. They're only two levels high. Shouldn't take too long to build a ladder and wall it off. What could go wrong?


THIS IS GOING WRONG ALREADY.



What is that what the fuck is that?!

Oh, it's scared of us nevermind. Thought it was going to eat our FACE byt then it didn't so everything is fine EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE I CAN HEAR SCREAMINGS.



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA





We won! As I knew we would we're the best I think I need to sleep this off a bit. But maybe a drink first.


Oh look, progress is being made. And by progress I mean booze.



Not enough. Never enough! But getting closer.


Oh hai SQ is up and about. I guess someone managed to scrounge some thread from somewhere. Good call. Now, to the content of this mug I say "get in mah belly!" [glug glug glug glug]


FFffuckYYyeahahahhahahah! Magama! Fucking awespomesosn. hehehehehe. I love you guys.




Another kid got possessed and I was all buyt readuy to write him off byth en he MADE THIS



Fuck Yeah MUG FOR DRINKING what could be more usefuyll tjhat? And it's got a picture of that dumb jade the firsrt kid made, an' it's called "The Grizzly Arena" which I guess is in honor of SQ being a sadistic animal nmurdering FCUK.

[Archibald]

I thought about something. Why don't we make a dummy hallway that leads to outside and is filled with a buttload of traps? That way we could bait threats into going through it by blocking all other passages only to kill themselves.