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Author Topic: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm  (Read 47784 times)

Splint

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #75 on: March 28, 2019, 02:27:27 pm »

Always with the name jokes when accidents happen to me.

DwarvenLord

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #76 on: March 28, 2019, 02:31:47 pm »

(Did I forget to mention that your foot is now mangled beyond recognition and you'll need a crutch the rest of your life?)
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And thus was the dwarven meatshield invented.
the child should serve well in the infantry (that is a horrible pun, and I already regret saying it).

Sanctume

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #77 on: March 28, 2019, 03:28:55 pm »

☼thump thump... tink tink tink☼  "As I was saying..."

☼thump thump... tink tink☼  "... never you mind them sounds, it's just Splint mining."

QuQuasar

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #78 on: March 28, 2019, 07:11:23 pm »

Quote
Cheesesplatter Annual Report 252-A. CLASSIFIED - For Dwarven Eyes Only.

Be aware: this letter is coated in surface-world poisons that may be lethal, or at least distasteful, to those of a non-dwarven consitution. Further testing is required. We recommend washing your hands promptly after reading. DO NOT BURN.

Progress: Under the guidance of Overseer 'Sanctume' (O-2), the dwarves of Cheesesplatter have cut an impressively large hole in the aquifer for access to stone and ore, and have increased food production four-and-a-half fold: enough to feed one-hundred seventy two (172) dwarves. A fraction of the Deepholds population, but a significant improvement nonetheless.

Overseership has passed to 'Dwarvenlord' (O-3), who is attending to site cleanliness and the religious needs of the team. Additionally, a mayor has been elected. It is not me.

Casualties: One death (mining accident) to date. Two permanent injuries, both to feet. As feet are considered a non-essential appendage, this is an acceptible casualty rate.

Threat Assessment: Thus far we have not been accosted by any of dwarvenkinds ancient surface-world enemies. Either we remain undetected, or they do not yet consider us a threat.

Thus far, non-sapient surface world threats have proven less worrying than similar underground threats ("Forgotten Beasts") and no match for trained militiadwarves.

Marriages: Multiple team members have married, including Specialists 01, 02, 04, 06 and 07. Am recommending research on the effect of sunlight exposure on dwarven hormone production.

Research: Edibility testing continues, and none of the test subjects have died yet. We have found that milled grain from several surface crops can be processed into "breads" similar to that produced by Cave Wheat, but softer and lighter. Experiments have found surface bread to taste better, but have significantly less potential than cave bread as backup blunt force weaponry.

Artifact Log: Three artifacts to date, all belonging to Category 3 "Useless". Further study is required to establish whether non-optimal strange mood results are co-incidental, or the result of surface world humours and excessive sunlight exposure.

Splint

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #79 on: March 28, 2019, 08:07:18 pm »

(Did I forget to mention that your foot is now mangled beyond recognition and you'll need a crutch the rest of your life?)

False, it'll heal eventually. Probably needed surgery though.

DwarvenLord

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #80 on: March 29, 2019, 03:59:50 pm »

6th of slate, 252

WTH?
Apparently auze has gotten onto a fight with... an iguana?
It's not even a giant iguana. It's just your average iguana.
Oh, I know.
Lizard" border="0

14th of slate, 252.
Some new workers have arrived!
A weaver, a novice armorsmith, a Woodcrafter that is also a adequate macedwarf, a animal dissector, a glassmaker, a gem setter, and accomplishged weaponsmith, a talented cheese maker, a butcher, a bowyer, a animal trainer, a bone carver, a wood burner (they just keep coming!) a talented metalsmith, another gem setter, a fisherdwarf, a peasant, a potter, a novice metalsmith, a spinner, (By Okang!) a farmer, and, finally, another cheesemaker. 

19th of slate, 252
!!!
I ordered some digging to be done, to find more ore.
Almost immediately they struck gold. Literally.
There was also rock crystal. Interesting...
SO. MUCH. GOLD.

13th of Felsite, 252
It's as if the world is made of native gold!
I have to do SOMETHING with it!
Here's an idea:
Solid gold tomb for all the founders?
Yes.
Heck yes.

11th of Hematite, 252
Someone has claimed a metalsmith's forge and started grabbing all sorts of stuff.
(ooc: please don't be a toy boat)
Also, the humans are here!
Let's get all our food and drink, and i'll trade.
Oh, he's done!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Alright, I traded 20963☼ worth of drink, and 6386☼ worth of food.

5th of Malachite, 252
More migrants.
Two animal caretakers, a mason, a Talented armorsmith, a gem cutter, a peasant, a lye maker, a gelder, a... oh. That's it.
Less than last time.
Ah well.
Logged
And thus was the dwarven meatshield invented.
the child should serve well in the infantry (that is a horrible pun, and I already regret saying it).

Hydrocyanide

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #81 on: March 30, 2019, 04:25:56 am »

As it turns out, there's an engraved stone tile from mid-late 250, covered in faded paint and yellowed varnish, depicting eleven of the founders and early inhabitants of Cheesesplatter (if the handwritten notes on it are to be trusted).
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Splint

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #82 on: March 30, 2019, 04:29:40 am »

Superdwarf just looks so done with everyone's shit and I dunno why.

Hydrocyanide

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #83 on: March 30, 2019, 04:53:15 am »

Quote
Superdwarf just looks so done with everyone's shit and I dunno why.
Well, the description did call her "disagreeable, unfriendly and rude", so I thought that expression would fit.
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DwarvenLord

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #84 on: March 30, 2019, 10:37:27 am »

Only criticism is that the women look too old. Sure, they're 70-90 years old, but for dwarves that is their late 30s, from what I know.
Still very good though!
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And thus was the dwarven meatshield invented.
the child should serve well in the infantry (that is a horrible pun, and I already regret saying it).

Superdorf

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #85 on: March 30, 2019, 11:17:12 am »

Whoof. I do not age well.  :D
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Falling angel met the rising ape, and the sound it made was

klonk
tormenting the player is important
Sigtext

Sanctume

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #86 on: March 30, 2019, 01:05:56 pm »

@Hydrocyanide That's gold! There I am always looking for threat from above.

Immortal-D

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #87 on: March 30, 2019, 03:23:06 pm »

omg I'm adorable! If desperately in need of chapstick :-\

DwarvenLord

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #88 on: March 30, 2019, 05:15:22 pm »

(Closed tab before I posted again, no dates)

Congrats to Auze!
Birth" border="0

Uh oh.
I hear snorting outside.
Dangit" border="0
GET OUT OF YOUR TEMPLES AND CLOSE THE GATES ALREADY!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I guess me and SQman will have to do it myself.
Oh... I see a fisherdwarf. Poor dude.
RIP" border="0
Wow. He's really holding out... WOW. He's getting torn apart but he's still stalling him!
He's not even panicking, he's enraged!
When this dude dies, I am giving him a memorial statue.
...
Made of gold.
The bridges are up, and he's dead. Now we just need to wait the beast out.
He was a human.

Ummm... there is a friendly mule.
In a tree.
Along with a lot of quality booze.
WTH?
Mule" border="0

Someone drowned.
How? There is only a brook and some murky pools.
How did you drown?

Ah. Found the problem: he fell in a well downstairs. I'll have it removed.

Work on the tomb is going slowly; I probably won't have time to finish it this year. Maybe the next overseer will finish it.
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And thus was the dwarven meatshield invented.
the child should serve well in the infantry (that is a horrible pun, and I already regret saying it).

auzewasright

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Re: Cheesesplatter: A Succession Farm
« Reply #89 on: March 30, 2019, 08:53:47 pm »


Congrats to Auze!
Birth" border="0

Every time I get around to the second letter, something like this happens.

[ic]
Anyway, here is what is thought to be the fragment of the second letter (as archive of such was accidentally destroyed in a tragic fire witnessed only by a scribe), the contents of which are left up to the imagination:

To: Auze
From: The (no, I am not writing down this name again - Scribe) BBB of the BBB - AAc - PD
File Under: projects, Cheesespatter, money, fortresses, revenue, agriculture (aboveground), marriage (dwarves), redundant coups, and Scribe rebellion


Greetings Auze,
Logged
On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".
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