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[CaptainArchmage]

ClaspedBowels is now recruiting!
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Fanart:
By Verb:

"Holy shit. I mean, “Verb” can literally see these statues sitting in there in the mason's stockpile..."

Solon “Verb” Rosyearths expressed concern upon viewing the finely-crafted «Present»

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In the world of Lusmzabagsnubstrasp, on the western coast of The Sensitive Continents, there is a stretch of savage land known as The Combined Forests. Once upon a time, the elves grew forest retreats here, but that was before the goblin empires - The Grasping Phlegm-Vice and The Demon of Rats - marched on. All remaining elven kingdoms have been conquered by the humans since, while The Letter of Bands rules the mountain ranges at the southern reaches of the continent. Now, a new fortress named Claspedbowels has been established in The Combined Forests and there is hope for finally bringing this no-sapient's land over to dwarven control.

Right, after being generally not-around on here for a while due to IRL, I am finally back (and don't think I've forgotten Boatmurdered 2200... though for reasons there will be a reboot of that too).

Yeah, about that Stellaris game... GIF related.


So, as the month of Obsidian 2019 drew to a close and spring came along, I decided to make a new world and get something done in DF2018 or whatever it's called now. And I saw that the !!Drunk Fortress!! thread was looking for a new world too, but... I'm not feeling like making this a succession world. Or a drunk one. Just a crazy one and just a community world. Details will be filled in as we go. Feel free to invent yer own law! I mean lore. But the former might apply. We are in a SAVAGE FOREST.

There may be win conditions in this world, but they're going to hard to beat. And, fortresses no longer die unless they really die. They may be, however, retired. We may also be seeing some adventures too... but more on that as the world progresses. I'm probably going to update this around the weekends... ish.

SO WHAT DOES THIS WORLD HAVE FOR US IN STORE?!

SO IT USED TO BE THAT THE WORLD HAD A DWARVEN NAME. Except I forgot to take it down during worldgen. It shows up as "Lusmzabagsnubstrasp", which sounds vaguely goblin to me. However, it's probably taken from one of the angelic or demonic languages that's literally been RNG'd.

Spoiler: Behold, the World. I'll name this, like, when I find what the world is called. Our current location illustrated. (click to show/hide)

This is what the world looks like. I went for a small world with high savagery, high numbers of civilizations, high numbers of sites, and a decent amount of history to go with it. Also, minerals are everywhere because SCREW THAT.

I'm not claiming this is an entire planet.

Five biggest continents and islands, in order of size:

1. The Sensitive Continents. Literally this has most of the landmass in the known world, and is surrounded by the Colourless Water. In case you didn't realise, that seems to be the world-spanning ocean. Obviously we can't see the whole planet, but it's still significant. The majority of civilizations were established here and this seems to be the sole continent which had all four primary civilisations form on it.
2. The Ageless Continents, to the south. Literally like Australia, but it's north of the tropics. Home to an elven civilization, the sole surviving one on the planet. We could build a bridge between the Sensitive Continents and this place.
3. The Continent of Ash, to the west and warm and temperate. Home to a human and a goblin civilization and neither have gotten the upper hand.
4. The Dipped Land. Lies between the Ageless Continents and The Continent of Ash. Uninhabited.
5. The Island of Targets. No idea who named this but it's uninhabited, to the north of The Continent of Ash.

There are numerous islands including a volcanic one. Unless we get some boat hacking or a compatible release with boats in it, I doubt they're going to be significant at the start. That said, there's swimming.

The World:

The year is 250 and we are part of the Letter of Bands is the main and dominant dwarven nation in the known world, and its largest landmass: The Sensitive Continents. The only other dwarven civilization in the known world is The Tome of Shoves, which has been reduced in its holdings to the single Dwarven Hillocks of Walledchance in the north of the Sensitive Continents, by The Grasping Phlegm-Vice, the most powerful of the goblin civilizations.

Spoiler: The Grasping Phlem-Vice has a monopoly on the Goblin's Dark Towers (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: The Demon of Rats has pitiful holdings (click to show/hide)

Meanwhile, the Demon of Rats holds onto a number of pits in the north. In the considerable no man’s land between The Letter of Bands and The Grasping Phlegm-Vice lie a number of other ruined and abandoned elven retreats, which lie unclaimed.

Spoiler: The Ageless Continents (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Proposed Bridge or Tunnel Site (click to show/hide)

The Ageless Continents is a smaller, tropical continent to the south. It is dominated by The Tusk of Slings, an elven civilization which has since laid waste to the human civilization that once lived there. Some believe it is possible to build a large bridge or subsea tunnel between The Sensitive Continents and The Ageless Continents.

Spoiler: The Continent of Ash (click to show/hide)

Meanwhile, the Continent of Ash is dominated by The Scorpion of Juices and The Confederations of Working. It appears neither the humans nor the goblins on that continent have been able to get the upper hand upon one another.

Spoiler: Foundations of Geopolitical Shitshows in the south (click to show/hide)

The past 20 years have been chaotic, with The Realm of Jungles, a Human civilization, finally conquering elven civilization on The Sensitive Continents. There's an adjacent human civilization known as the Empire of Diamonds present too, but they didn't actually conquer the elven civilizations. Numerous rumours suggest the human survivors from the Ageless Continent provided the zeitgeist behind this invasive push.

Spoiler: Coastal Hillocks (click to show/hide)

The Letter of Bands has settlements down to the southwestern verge of The Sensitive Continents. One would have thought that this could become a bustling dwarven port, but alas, travellers must swim. As of yet. Maybe someday, someone will invent a vehicle capable of travelling across the water. That day is not today, but it will not stop us from attempting crossings.

The Fortress of ClaspedBowels (as of 250):

Without too much of an introduction, The Letter of Bands has commissioned a new dwarven embark in the savage lands in the west of the Sensitive Continents.

And so it was, that the fortress of Claspedbowels was established by the Walls of Adventure on 15th Granite 250. We have scouted out a *mighty fine* site, with a waterfall present, in The Combined Forests, a savage temperate forest. We are just south of a number of elven fortresses, but those are ruined. We are the  I neglected to check who the hell sacked them, but it was probably goblins. I have solely ascertained this based on the humans actually taking over the elven sites, while the goblins seem to have outright sacked many locations.

There are various reasons why you were chosen for this mission, but now you must face that which is expected of you. You have been asked to establish a fortress in the savage western part of the world, a large stretch of untamed wilds that bridge the gap between dwarven, human, and the human-dominated elven settlements in the south, and the goblin empires in the north. Claspedbowels is due south of an old forest retreat, but it has been ruined. You didn't read up how long it had been ruined, but it's general common knowledge that it's uninhabited by elves, goblins, or as far as you know dwarves and humans.

Spoiler: The Embark: Welcome to Claspedbowels! Enjoy that waterfall (click to show/hide)

« Last Edit: March 02, 2019, 06:09:33 pm by CaptainArchmage »

DWARFLIST (Come take a Dorf!):

Spoiler: The Starting Seven. The First Starting Seven in a player fortress in this world, after initial promotions. (click to show/hide)

Starting Seven, Bowelclasped:
#1. Datan "CaptainArchmage" Lanterndwelled (M), Expedition Leader (comedian, grower, "rap artist" possibly missing a letter c). Born 23rd Slate, 173. Claimed by CaptainArchmage
#2. Rakust "Sanctume" Matyredroughness (M), fighter and mechanic with an honourable discharge from the army. Or so he says. Born 26th Opal, 192 and by far our youngest member. Claimed by Sanctume.
#3. Erith Mistycloisters (F), Miner and vandal/graffiti artist/engraver. Born 10th Hematite 163. Our oldest embarkdwarf.
#4. Led Clutchedcrypts (F), carpenter and apparently a medical school dropout. Born 12th Obsidian, 186.
#5. Zas Fencepulled (F), engraver. A proper engraver, mind you. Not like Erith. Born 27th Moonstone, 164.
#6. Rigoth Wheeltower (M), mason, architect, and very amateur economists (dropped those classes). Allegedly a "Free Dwarfmason". Born 17th Granite, 164.
#7. Urdim "FakerFangirl" Famemountains (F), a clothier with brawling skills. Born 8th Galena 172. Claimed by FakerFangirl.

First Migrant Wave, Bowelclasped, 2nd Malachite 250:
#8. Ber Bronzedrill, Legendary Weaponsmith (F), aged
#9. Kûbuk Mazegate, Jeweler (M) from Syrupbowel, aged 40.
#10. Tun Doublerack, Fisherdwarf (M) from the human hamlet of Bowlines, aged 118.
#11. Dumed Pagedcontained (M), fisherdwarf and gold digger from Blockadebattles. Aged 59.
#12. Ral Boltcrafted (M), fisherdwarf with some military skill from Boardedbolted. Aged 96.
#13. Asmel Goldenwhispered (F), siege engineer married to Kûbuk Mazegate. Aged 38.
#14. Ral Claspedsneaked (F), militiadwarf from the fortress of Treatystraps. Married to Ral Boltcrafted. Aged 96.
#15. Vutok Spreadclasped (M), dwarven child with dancing skill, son of Ber Bronzedrill and Dumed Pagedcontains, aged 6.
#16. Mistêm Stopmetals (F), dwarven child prodigy, all rounded (music, dance). Daughter of Kûbuk Mazegate and Asmel Goldenwhispered.

Second Migrant Wave, Bowelclasped, 22nd Sandstone 250:
#To be filled in

(I'm not reserving any posts, just go ahead and hit reply.)

[Sanctume]

Cool, I'd like to be dorfed, that Rakust Matyredroughness dude, thanks.

[CaptainArchmage]

Cool, I'd like to be dorfed, that Rakust Matyredroughness dude, thanks.

*Screams into Mic*: Aaaand Rakust Matyredroughness is...

NUMBER TWO TWO TWO



Journal of Datan Lanterndwelled, Day 15 (Granite 15th, 250):

Spoiler: The Immediate Embark (click to show/hide)

We’ve arrived at Claspedbowels, the latest outpost of the Letter of Bands. This is the perfect location for a new fortress, in savage and untamed lands to the west of the continent.

First, let’s cover the external geography. This helps us set up logistics and shit, which is, like, important.

The closest inhabited settlement, through which we passed, is about half a day’s travel from us. It is Landssteel, a dwarven hillocks in the Rhyming Jungles to the south. Further to the south, but still within half a day’s travel, is the hamlet of Stokehands, part of the Realm of Jungles, who destroyed the something of Vegetation. I can't recall the actual name and I didn't write it down because it wasn't a compulsory class or something. Sorry in advance to whomsoever should read this in the future.

OK so Stokehands is in turn on the outskirts of the town of Surprisepatterned, and this is connected to our own civilization by a network of dirt roads and tunnels. Nearly a day’s travel to the south and west are the coastal hillocks of Deepvault and Wanderedwhips, from which one day great waterborne craft will be launched to expand our domains across the rest of the world. And maybe, then, we shall make contact with other dwarves.

In contrast, the nearest goblin settlements are far to the north, about a day’s travel away - a dark pits known as Brimssin, where we can allegedly find the manuscript of The Gutter: Natural Or Supernatural. This is somewhat isolated from their primary lands, which means that location would be a good place to establish what some would call a beachhead in the invasion the goblin lands. Their primary fortresses lie on the edge of The Glacier of Clouds, both of them roughly two days’ travel away.

To the immediate north are three elven retreats, all of them either ruined or abandoned. Ordermauve is directly to the north, and only a short trip. I intend to explore it as soon as we have the dwarfpower. I don’t expect to bring back much, of course. The ruins of Glistenwinters are about half a day’s travel to the north, and that is adjacent to Riverwealth. Again, both are abandoned. The sparse ruins of elven civilization are scattered across these lands.

Now regarding our own fortress…

I claimed more land than a normal fortress, but who gives a fuck. We have a waterfall present, and that feeds into another river. Of course, we had to park the wagon on the less defensible bank. It doesn’t really make sense and we must have forded the river when I was asleep but anyways. That’s going to be fixed real soon, by building a couple of temporary bridges to the central peninsula or whatever it’s called.

Spoiler: Nearby Wildlife (click to show/hide)

The area is heavily forested because we’re in a fucking forest. This being a temperate forest, I don’t believe we’ll have these things with tusks and trunks called “elephants” but there may be other dangers present either in the waters, skies, or forest.

The first soil layer appears to be peat. We then go through sandy clay, loam, and yellow sand, in that order. The layers aren’t evenly spaced though and yellow sand is missing from the peninsula. Even without digging down I can see signs of an extensive aquifer. Exposed rock is rock salt, and I can see signs of coal veins and hematite deposits. We have deep flux, according to a geological survey, so the steel industry will rely on extensive mining operations deep underground.

I dished out our first promotions on site. Rakust will be our militia commander, since he literally had a stint in the army while the fighting qualifications for the rest are “brawling”, “amateur brawling”, and “brawling as an extracurricular activity”.

Led will be our chief medical dwarf, and carries the requisite saw. She doesn’t have a medical degree but is the best we can get. Finally, Rigóth will be our broker. He did some economics at university and was in some kind of society or other. I think it was a secret society or something because he just wanted to be different, but it's about the same as any other society. At least the secret society is honest about it.

We need a bookkeeper and manager but for those jobs to even be viable we need some offices. Maybe in the summer, but not fucking right now.

I’m not going to strike the Earth right now because we’re going to be cutting down some trees and making some surface dwellings. You know… something like a fortification or staging area on the surface.

Granite 16th

I spent the first day cutting down trees. I’m deliberately cutting down trees that do not bear edible fruit or similar products, so we’re getting ash and oak wood initially. Meanwhile, everyone else but Rigóth and Led have been assigned to collecting plants. Led is turning the imported oak into beds, while Rigóth will now be assembling some rickety bridges to the central peninsula.

Granite 22nd

We’ve been here a week now, and the trees are starting to get thinned out. The first bridge is designed, and we’re now waiting on production of beds to be finished. I also just realised, nobody here knows how to brew drinks. Yet.

Spoiler: Ravens in the East (click to show/hide)

A flock of ravens has been spotted in the forest to the east. I am none too concerned about this.

It has also started to rain. Fuck. You know, it would be great to have a weather foreskin station or whatever it's called. Like, an oracle who tells you to get inside because it's going to start pissing down with rain or suddenly start blowing frozen beardfucking water. Just based on proper "meteorism" or whatever it's called.

(Written in underneath): Meteorology. It's an esoteric subject for dwarves, because those of us who live beneath the Earth tend to concern ourselves with earthquakes and volcanism.

You know, maybe we should, like, build a tower to survey the skies and predict the weather.

Granite 25th

The chronicles of our earliest weeks here roll on. Rigóth says he won the dormitory cook-off in some fraternity somewhere, and he won’t have anything to do until we start mining the salt beneath our feet at least (or beneath the fucking aquifer). Therefore, I assigned him to cooking, strictly advising him to cook plants which can’t be brewed.

Granite 26th

Spoiler: The Bridge (click to show/hide)

The bridge is built! Now we can finally colonise the little peninsula.

Spoiler: A Big order of Barrels (click to show/hide)

I’ve decided to make the barrels all out of maple, by the way. It's supposed to improve the taste of food. Might as well get a big stockpile going while we're at it, we've got like over 200 logs of wood cut down.

Granite 27th

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Lamprey vs. Sponge (click to show/hide)

Aaaand a Sea Lamprey gets into a fight with a Giant Sponge and loses. Badly. Claspedbowels has its first FATALITY.

Time for a drink.

[FakerFangirl]

Please dorf FakerFangirl as a (female) bookkeeper. And get me a +chair+

[CaptainArchmage]

Please dorf FakerFangirl as a (female) bookkeeper. And get me a +chair+

Dwarfed and given a herb.

Slate 1st

Spoiler: The forest sure is disappearing. I wonder why. (click to show/hide)

We’ve now been at Claspedbowels for two weeks. The view from the treetops looks like this, we have some open areas we could potentially build some aboveground dwellings. Or maybe, a tower.

Spoiler: LET'S BUILD A CONKSUCK TOWAH (click to show/hide)

You know what, screw this, I’m building a fucking tower. Because I fucking feel like it. We only have wood, but the stocks budget says we have over 400 logs now. At an 8x8 footprint, we can go up five stories or so.

Spoiler: AW FUGG (click to show/hide)

Aaaaand ANOTHER fight breaks out between an alligator and the giant sponge.

Slate 3rd



In case it wasn’t clear, the Giant Sponge was Fatality #2 since coming here.

Slate 4th

Spoiler: Alligator vs. Giant Sponge (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: The Full Details (click to show/hide)

Aaaand another fight between the alligators and ANOTHER giant sponge.

Spoiler: The XXEPICXX CONCLUSION (click to show/hide)

Fatality #3



I SERIOUSLY WONDER how the Fuck we're going to be able to even wash ourselves here at this rate.

I’m at a loss of what to do with the fucking tower. I can just build upwards, but if we’re going to have bedrooms I’d like to seal up the stairwell to keep noise and nuisance to a minimum, and stop someone bumbling into my bed room while blackout drunk. I’m doing it one tile wide because these days dwarves are sensible about passing each other.

Oh and screw it, we might as well put in a basement.

(Out of Character: In the old days, one-tile staircases and hallways were terrible for your fortress. You literally got traffic jams that way and dwarves would have to crawl past each other.)

12th Slate

Spoiler: Our Frtadmins (click to show/hide)

Urdim "FakerFangirl" Famemountains has asked for duties doing Bookkeeping. I trust she can manage all our accounts, tax filings, and subsidy applications. All she asks in return is a +chair+ but stone chairs are called thrones. That is, unless we make our seats out of wood...

You know what we don't even have any fucking rooms, let alone any rooms yet. When we do, I'll try to get some office space for her, along with a chair and maybe even a table to go along with it.

26th Salte

Spoiler: Our current sleeping quarters (click to show/hide)

Well toady our bookkeeper Urdim “FakerFangirl” Famefountains became the first dwarf to fall alseep in the fucking tower we’ve been building. You know, the weather tower. Sadly, we’re running out of Oak fast and I want to have a fucjing Oak tower.

It's kind of an achievement.



Oh, also until people finish sleeping in here I AM NOT STARTING WORKS ON THE BASEMENT BECAUSE I HATE BEING WOKEN UP BY NOISE. I just want to pull up the covers and snore the fuck out.

4th Felsite

Spoiler: Dwarves Sleepin in Da Towah (click to show/hide)

We’ve got four dwarves sleeping in the tower now. I don’t know EXACTLY why they’re sleeping all in the same row but that’s what it is. From left to right, Zas, Rigóth, èrith, and Led.

Spoiler: WHAT AGAIN? (click to show/hide)

OH RIGHT, I REMEMBER NOW WHY I AM MAKING THIS ENTRY IN THE DIARY NOW.

Spoiler: A Snapping Turtle (click to show/hide)

THIS SHIT.

Any day now, that turtle is going to bump into this giant sponge upriver and then we won’t have any natural gluten free hygiene products left.

5th Felsite

Spoiler: Fortuy Winks Won't Cut This (click to show/hide)

WELL IT’S TIME TO SLEEP NOW. Luckily, unlike the other members of our crew I’ve chosen a bed that’s not been slept in. I guess that’s why I’m leading this project.

7th Felsite

Spoiler: You know maybe the sap is tasty (click to show/hide)

After having a decent sleep, I’m just going to cut down this damn tree here. We need more maple for +barrels+.

Spoiler: Here's the peas of my mind (click to show/hide)

Oh yeah, just so you can get an idea of my thoughts, here they are. Unfortunately, part of my sleep was troubled about where to go from here AND HOW THE FUCK DID I CAGE A CREATURE? I don't exactly remember doing that. Hell there aren't even any fucking cages around here. Not one! Literally all I did was lug a ewe and a sow to an impromptu farmers workshop and milked them based on some textbook some moron left lying around back in the Mountainhomes.

Spoiler: FakerFangirl gets the textile industry going (click to show/hide)

I’m not going to go into much more detail but “FakerFangirl” (AKA Urdim Famefountains) decided to go ahead and shear all the sheep. She’s currently spinning the yarn into thread, and JEGUS FUCK THERE’S A LOT OF IT.

Spoiler: The contents of one of our barrels (click to show/hide)

We need this for our clothes industry to operate properly. We need some bags and wool bags can help with the dye industry when that gets started up. The surface plant gathering initiative got quite a few hide roots and even some blade weed, so there’s no reason for us aside from stylistic choices not to dye all our cloth. All the cloth. All of it!

But first, we need to dig deeper. WE HAVEN’T EVEN DUG ANYTHING AND IT’S FUCKING FELSITE.

====================================

In all seriousness, I think "caged a creature recently" might be a bug with the way the thoughts system works out. Actually, the animals were just pulled from a meeting area and I guess tied to the farmer's workshop while they were milked, but it doesn't make sense except for role-play purposes. Of which, there are a lot.

In case you didn't notice, the style may have changed. And Datan "CaptainArchmage" Lanterndwelled (M), if I scrolled down, would have come up as "unfocused". Apparently, drinking out of a barrel and not having decent meals (despite there being "luxury meals" available) cause dwarves to be quite unfocused (and based on other material I am reading, potentially become nervous wrecks).

[CaptainArchmage]

Moving on to a new post, because really the last one said it all. Holy shit.



CaptainArchmage cancels write properly: Interrupted by spelling Che

Just about every piece of bad spelling, grammar, or pile of seemingly utterly nonsensical bullshit happened when the spell checker decided to pre-empt my train of thought, and failed miserably in any conceivable way in the autocorrect. I'd turn it off but the results were... see for yourself. I decided to just Rolle with it.

We continue our reading of the personal journal of Datan "CaptainArchmage" Lanterndwelled, who was the expedition leader of The Walls of Adventure. The Walls of Adventure founded a new fortress in The Combined Forests, in the savage "no sapient's land" on the western coast of The Sensitive Continents.

11th Felsite

Spoiler: Immortal communist bat (click to show/hide)

GUESS WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY.

The rock salt through which the river flows has now got a massive slick coating of carp blood. Yet the injured carp still lives on and moves with the shoal.

24th Felsite

Spoiler: CLASSIFIED (click to show/hide)

WELL OUR FREEMASON JUST RAN OUT OF STUFF TO !!COOK!!. Fortunately, I have a new +job+ for him. MOAR ON THAT LATER.

1st Hematite

Spoiler: The Dig (click to show/hide)

WELCOME TOT HE FUCKING BASEMENT! This is literally a basement as it’s a self-contained tower. IT WON’T BE CONNECTED TO THE REST OF THE FORTRESS! It’s just like a self-contained superstructure to go with the tower on top. In this drawing, our Freemason has constructed a superior quality jet millstone at the mason’s shop, while Sanctume gets his wheels on as Number Two by making a n0pe quality set of mechanisms.

Seriously, n0pe quality. I wrote a zero in there for a reason.

I allowed a full layer of soil to buffer up our construction. Can’t have this thing fLING
IN, can we?

Spoiler: I'm in pretty good shape (click to show/hide)

I’m planting our sweet pod seeds so we can get some HIGH FUCKTOSE DWARVEN system RUP. It’s not like I’m out of shape or anything.

Spoiler: The state of the fortress (click to show/hide)

I guess we’ve got to do our accounts so this is the $tat€ of the fortr€$$. We have seven dwarves which means we have made ZERO progress on expanding our population. And that’s a good thing because we just aren’t ready for more dwarves.

Distribution of labour has 1 miner, 1 woodworker, 2 stoneworkers, 1 craftsdwarf, and 2 farmers. Sanctume is officially classified as a farmer now because he’s more skilled at gathering plants from outdoors than he is at making mechanisms that work. It shows.

We’ve got “80” other meals and that probably includes our prepared food stockpile including all the vegan, vegetarian, and pescatarian options that are available. The drinks shortage is a different matter, as is the lack of any cups rot drink from.

What the Christ did I just write. Rot drink.

Gross Domestic Product, which I calculate by subtracting imported from created wealth (at this time), has been roughly 1450 units. Or is that Urists. Or “Suns”. Until we get proper accounting, we cAn’T dO bEtTeR ThAn tHaT.

Spoiler: Time to milk something (click to show/hide)

We have 12 animals. I think our management of those could do a lot better, because the chicken need nesting boxes and shit and we need to milk the animals from time to time. OH RIGHT THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE ME.

Spoiler: Yet another pease of mu mind (click to show/hide)

Damn I need to get out moat.

==========

Holy sheet, this level of autocorrect is awful. I have also LITERALLY made a backup of the world in case I actually shit something.

[CaptainArchmage]

The weekend has come. Take note this section is still being edited for formatting and images. There were a lot. Expect next season shortly. The rest of summer is now up, below, and completed. I have also finished most of autumn... a lot happened. Fortunately nobody dieded. YET

The journal of Datan "CaptainArchmage" Lanterndwelled continues through the summer with similar and predictable coverage. Extensive analysis is required to explain how the seemingly level-headed leadership of the fortress ended up proceeding in this manner, with most dwarven historians indicating it is a normal part of being a dwarf.

15th Hematite

Spoiler: Anime Season (click to show/hide)

It’s OFFICIALLY “anime season” around Claspedbowels, and the cherry blossom is falling. Like whatever anime is supposed to be I just heard that around the Mountainhomes. SOMEONE’S BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ON THE SURFACE oh wiat thats us.

Spoiler: TV dinner (click to show/hide)

IN THE MEANTIME I just decided to build a fucking mill using the mechanisms we had. First tried to mill the hide roots but instead we got the hemp milled and made this TV dinner. Nanoscale management should help us get the dyes manufactured.

OH SHIT IT’S RAINING AGAIN.

2nd Malachite

After MUCH BUGGERY I have FINALLY managed to get some emerald dye made. Not used, just made. Also dwarves were shoving acorns from the oak trees into bags so it became hard to use that shit. Maaaan.

Spoiler: MAH MIGFRANTZ (click to show/hide)

OH RIGHT THAT’S NOT THE REASON I AM WRITING THIS because MIGRANTS have arrived. It’s about time.

We have NINE migrants, which brings our numbers up to SWEET SIEXTEEN. Hopper shet balls.

Spoiler: Fort Citizens so far™ (click to show/hide)

The migrant list:

1. Ber Bronzedrill, Legendary Weaponsmith. She created an UNNAMED LEGENDARY ARTEFACT at the Mountain Halls of Syrupbowel, deep beneath the mountains of The Competitive Horns. This is literally the greatest thing we could have wished for. Like, even. Man. WE CAN LITERALLY BUILD OURSELVES AN ARMY AND WE HAVE THE STEEL TO DO IT. I wonder what artefact she made and where the FUCK it is.
2. Kûbuk Mazegate, Jeweler. Currently 40 years old and from Syrupbowel, he is a jeweller and is a novice at both cutting and setting gems. His “physical” shows he’d be better in the army. Lived separated from Asmel Goldenwhispered for a while. Has one daughter. WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE HE HAD THEM AT A RESPONSIBLE AGE.
3. Tun Doublerack. I trust that’s an ammunition rack. Tun is 118 years old and a grouchy novice-level fisherdwarf with good skill at poetry. He was once a member of the Fellowship of Dragons, the government of a human hamlet known as Bowlines. I guess he was tired of life aboveground, eh? GETTING ON IN YEARS TOO. Hell it’s about time you made a move somewhere worthwhile.
4. Dumed Pagedcontained, 59 year old fisherdwarf with only novice skills, husband of Ber Broonzedrill, and GOLD DIGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE. Not in the good sense either. He came from Blockadebattles, one of the deepest dwarven halls. Unlike Tun he has not many other skills, probably because Ber was the primary plump helmet winner. That’s becoming a trend around here.
5. Ral Boltcrafted, 96 year old novice fisherdwarf with some military skill. He used to live at Boardedbolted, a dwarven hillock on the opposite side of the continent. It is to the north of The Unnameable Dune, a foul region of badlands with ill repute.
   Oh I say, HOW THE FUCK did THE UNNAMEABLE DUNE get NAMED? IT’S NAME IS ThE UnNaMeAbLe dUnE. Dumbasses.
6. Asmel Goldenwhispered, aged 38. A siege engineer with a reputation for toughness, but given a medical discharge and pissed off about it. She is married to Kûbuk Mazegate, but lived apart from him in Blockadebattles for a number of years likely due to military service or academy requirements. I think.
7. Ral Claspedsneaked, 96 year old militiadwarf from the fortress of Treatystraps. Married to Ral Boltcrafted, with 11 children, seems to have been separated from Ral for a while. NOT SURE WHY. Also she’s a casual polytheist in the dwarven tradition. This, after a. lot of research; this spiritual individual worships a total of four deities, some more reverently. Sorry just an addition when I am actually able to focus properly. (the last section is written in, with a far more steady and thoughtful hand that bears only passing resemblance to the other writings in this journal)
8. Vutok Spreadclasped, dwarven child and 6-year-old dancer, from Blockadedbattles. The son of Ber Bronzedrill and Dumed. His skills indicate he takes after his father, with whom he lived on a permanent basis. YEP LITTLE GOLD DIGGER CONFIRMED.
9. Mistêm Stopmetals, dwarven two-year-old prodigy with skills in multiple instruments. Only daughter of Kûbuk Mazegate and Asmel Goldenwhispered, formerly resident at Syrupbowel with her father. I guess his settled lifestyle meant he was the natural parent, eh? WELL WE JUST FOUND OUR NEW FORTRESS PERFORMER, LIKE, WHEN SHE TURNS TWELVE.

SYRUPBOWEL?! NOBODY is SuRpRiSeD that there’s such an explosive outflow of EMIGRANTS eh?

I IMMEDATELY START GETTING TO WORK PLANNING THE EXPANSION FO THE FORT RESS. I mean the tower. It’s a tower and not a fortress. IF IT CONNECTS TO THE FORTRESS IT WILL HAVE AN UNDERGROUND GATEHOUSE. Just DoN'T TeLl ThE GoBlInS.

Spoiler: Salt is a built in feature of this Kitchen (click to show/hide)

SO THIS IS LIKE THE FIRST LEVEL OF ROCK SALT. That’s like salt that, according to the... OK we don’t haver research on it THAT I KNOB OFF. IT’S LIKE SALT BUT IT’S IN A FUCKING BOULDER OF SALT. Yep. So. KITCHEN, STILL, Drinking storage, food storage, and BUD LITE entertainment in the sext door compound. One area can be assigned to a DISCO FLOOR. Or we can get some nice dwarven classical music going and turn it into a combination opera house and drinking establishment. Maybe. Also this is the first area I am digging out. The rest of the palms will just have to wait.

Spoiler: Dwarven Housing (click to show/hide)

THE UNDER LEVEL. ALSO KNOWN AS THE RESIDENTIAL ZONE. Because, like, we’re professionals here and do things like zoning. BUT REALLY IT’S HEAR FOR ALL KNIGHT RAVES AND SHADY PLANNING. This has a total of 17-18 bedrooms, which will all be smoothed up. Water shouldn’t leak down from the above aquifer and that’s good. OH RIGHT DID I SAY THIS SHIT’S GOING TO BE PLUMBED IN?

Spoiler: EH HOSPITAL (click to show/hide)

AND HERE’S THE HOSPITAL. The hospital should be able to cope with 8 dwarves, and have a water supply. Included here are the doctor’s quarters. Also included here are the SEXTILE FACILITIES. These are to the east. The south end has a looming and dyeing facility.

Spoiler: STORAGE Area 51 (click to show/hide)

STORAGE AREA 51. Don’t ask me about what happened to areas 1-50.

Spoiler: STAGING AREA 6 (click to show/hide)

UNDERGROUND STAGING AREA 6. Again, don’t ask me about areas 1-5. It’s so much sexier this way.


LE JERBS LISZT:

Ber Bronzedrill? In the future she’ll be pounding out the fortress’ weapons… BUTT ODAY IS NOT THAT DAY. Time for ye to smooth the FORT RESS. This time without any shitty artefacts coming out of it. I HEARD THOSE STORIES. I HJEARD THEM.

Also, Ber will TAN ANY HIDES THAT WE NEED TANNING.

MESSER MAZEGATE? You have two skills that would be REALLY FUCKING USEFUL to this fortress, Gem Cutting and GEM SETTING. But we have little for you to do on that matter alas… TIME FOR YOU TO RUN THE GOD DAMN STILL. I trust you can do that safely with YER TWO YEAR OLD TOT?

I wouldn’t assign the guy to millions. NO SHIT. Those grindstones are an 1A health risk. Mowtly because of other people stinking their fingers inside them though.

TUN DOUBLERACK. So this guy is quite old, and his attribute seem to be to be geared towards being a FUCKING CROSSBOWDWARF. But that won’t help us too much with other labours in the fortress, like making sure the toilet paper is stocked up OR MAKING ARMOUR. So I just assigned Tun to woodcrafting so we can have some wood crafts made.  He will also be chief toiletpaperdwarf. WE NEED TOILET PAPER.

DUMED PAGEDCONTAINS… will be our stone CRAFTER. He can also help out Ber by SMELTING SOME ROCKS.

Ral Boltcrafted… I decided to give the task of being fortress weaver and dyer.

AS TO ASMEL GOLDENWHISPERED, she will be a full time engineer on all fronts. And, as it so happens, will also be handling soap making, lye making, potash making, milking, shearing, and beekeeping. At least for now.

FINALLY RAL CLASPEDSNEAKED I have chosen as our glassblower. But she will also be doing herbalist duty.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS.

OH AND THESE POSITION SARE FUBJECT TO SUCKING CHANGE.

JUST SO YOU KNOW.

11th Malachite

I SHALL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I SPENT THE LAST WEEK TRYING TO GET THE RIGHT DYES MADE AND USED.

Jo really, fuck this shit. Looking forward to the day we can have enough bags to store all we need.

ALSO WE GOT THE SWEET PODS SO W2E CAN BE MAKING DAT HIGH FUCKTOSE system RUP.  DUMED, HELP ME OUT.

Take note this embark has available potatoes AND we are making dwarven syrup. Looks like the McUrist’s Diabeetus Armageddon is approaching.

20th Malachite

Spoiler: Aw FUGG (click to show/hide)

AW SHIT

WE OUTA BOOZE

THIS IS LITERALLY ARMAGEDDON

Time to get that still up and RUNNING.

26th Malachite

Spoiler: STILL IS RUNNING (click to show/hide)

Kûbuk Mazegate just got his still running, and I immediately suck off the prickle berry vapours as they come out of there. Phew, crisis averted. We even have some ashen cups in the manufacture now. Let me calm down a bit…

OH AND WORK HAS STARTED ON THIS LEVEL. THE BOZE BOZO HALL LEVEL IS ALL DUCK UP. AW YEAH LET’S GO GET THOSE BEDROOMS SET UP I CAN’T WAIT TO HAVE A RUMPUS ROOM OF MUY OWN.

24th Galena 250

WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT KÛBUK MAZEGATE JUST BECAME A BREWER oh wait he’s been brewing shit all season. OK .ONE MONTH FUCK WHATEVER.

ALSO I HAVE A ROOM, SANCTUME HA SA ROOM, AND FAKERFANGIRL HAS A ROOM.

[Sanctume]

Nanisaywha? I gots a room yo!

[CaptainArchmage]

Nanisaywha? I gots a room yo!

Along with some snazzy furniture too.

Note: Post still being updated.

The first part of the autumn season was a time of great change, but also semi-great disaster. While no dwarves dieded, the fortress faced its first test of strength.

Spoiler: Admission (click to show/hide)

There was one save scum here. Just one. Bonus is we got the giant flying squirrel stuck in the door this time.

Spoiler: Re Future Updates (click to show/hide)

Please let me know if you want a "sensibleised" transliteration of the journal text.

1st Limestone 250

Spoiler: It'S AuTuMn!!! (click to show/hide)

WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT IT’S FUCKING AUTUMN.

Spoiler: Accounts (click to show/hide)

Here’s the GOD DAMN Fort $tatu$. We are up to 16 dwarves. SWEET SEXTEEN I TELL YOU. 2 miners, 1 carpenter, 1 mason, 1 forge dwarf, 1 clothier, 2 children 3 phisherdwarves, 4 farmers, and 1 engineer. Those are just their best skills, and there have been some MAJOR CHANGES.

Now HERE’S WHAT’S BEEN PISSING ME OFF. I really need to start crafting shit. Probably armour or maybe even pottery. BUT WE NEED A FUCKING FORGE FOR THAT.

We also need like a martial arts centre, by which I HAVE OF COURSE MEANT BARRACKS. Or just drinking a lot and having a tavern. Which I think requires having a tavern in the first place.

Spoiler: Mah State of Mind (click to show/hide)

Also I need to step up a tenable to Omât the Lacy Letter, deity of labour, crafts, metals, trade, and wealth.

Spoiler: SALTY ASS-TRADE DEPOT (click to show/hide)

WE HAVE A SALTY ASS TRADE DEPOT HERE. I realised at the end of last seasoning that we didn’t have one, and we managed to make it. By which I mean Rigòth made it.

5th Limestone

I put in a ASS ORDER for wood crafts and some oaken nest boxes for the birds. I’ll put them in the TOWAH.

Also I’ve asked for some ROCKING SALT SATUES of the foundation of the fortress and each of us who founded the place.

9th Limestone

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

AAAAND THE CARAVAN IS HEAR!

I immediately order the crap we cooked to the trade depot.

11th Limestone

The Outpost Liaison Olum Oakwoman (how appropriate) meets with me and I have to get my professional face on. Lack of sleep and decent living conditions have taken its toll on me. GET IT?

Spoiler: Literally the state of my room (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: The world has changed... (click to show/hide)

So he says… there is a lot to share with news in the world. I’m all ears, but it’s apparently all in writing. I try to distract her from the pile of vegetables and other shit all over my bedroom floor.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I proceed to put an order on kinds of meat and leather I think would help us through. We don’t really have a meat or leather industry and I don’t see one being set up anytime soon so it has to be imported.

Spoiler: Stoner (click to show/hide)

I also order any surplus ores and stones from the Mountainhomes to be sent here at low premium, except for flux which we will need for our steel industry.

Spoiler: Metal! (click to show/hide)

We’ll have a bit of a markup on some of these imports.

Spoiler: Sexy Port Agreement (click to show/hide)

For some reason there’s a huge cheese shortage at the Mountainhomes. And a sceptre shortage HOW THE FUCK.

Spoiler: NOW I CAN FINALLY BE A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT FOR THE REST OF THE DAY (click to show/hide)

12th Limestone

SO WE FINALLY SOLD ALL THE SHIT AT THE DEPOT. We got in exchange some metal, booze, dye, spare bag, and a supply of cloth without a bin. Rigòth handled the trading quite well and just squeaked by.

THERE WERE SOME BOOKS IN THERE TOO AND MAYBE WE SHOULD GET A STOCK OF STUFF TO READ. But later.

13th Limestone

Spoiler: WUT (click to show/hide)

LULWUT

15th Limestone

Spoiler: Really? (click to show/hide)

IT HEEPS KAPPENING

16th Limestone

Spoiler: Tun becomes a "Wood" crafter (click to show/hide)

WELL THAT’S BECAUSE YOU WERE SO SHIT AT FISHING HEH.

21st Limestone

Spoiler: Squeeeeee (click to show/hide)

WELL THAT’S GREAT MORE FARM ANIMALS.

Spoiler: event moar animals (click to show/hide)

AAAND THE STRAY EWE HAS GIVEN BIRTH TO A LAMB. That’s soooooooooo cute! Also my statue quality is Grade Fuckin’ A1 Crap.

1st Sandstone

Spoiler: What the hell is going on here (click to show/hide)

I find out the nest box jobs are done so I order a kind of ashen regalia, i.e. GRADE FUCKIN’ A1 UPSTART OVERWEIGHT FELINE INCOME DWARF HILLTRASH BLING. I also order a figurine from Tun, of the diplomat Olum Oakwoman, and he says it’s a different person. Strange.

HEY TUN, HOW THE FUCK DOES OLUM OAKWOMAN LOOK LIKE THAT OTHER GUY.

I tell him to stop chewing the cannasib flour from Wholesome Foods raw. STRAIGHT UP. But I can’t fucking think the guy’s loopy. HE AIN’T LOOPY. TUN. HOW DID YOU KNOW? Probably bumped into the assfucker at a caravan stop shittingroom. Like, don’t know. It’s apparently TOTALLY TRAD TO DO THAT AND THE GUY’S SEEN A LOT A1 SHIT IN HIS LIFT.

Actually fuck no. I don;’t want to even imagine that scene.

5th Sandstone

Spoiler: So Cuuuuuuute (click to show/hide)

!!PUPPY SURPRISE!!

Spoiler: Traders are going to be leaving soon (click to show/hide)

BUT SURELY YOU WANT SOME MORE PREPARED MEALS?!

14th Sandstone

Spoiler: Trading season is oveur! (click to show/hide)

THE MERCHANTS JUST DECIDED TO fuck off WELL FINE I SOLD SOME MORE PREPARED MEALS TO THEM FOR THE BOOKS. And bit more dyed wool.

20th Sandstone

Spoiler: An interesting scene (click to show/hide)

SO TUN FINALLY FINISHED THE FIGURINE I COMMISSIONED FROM HIM. Apparently “Olum Oakwoman” Mike be a fake ID he travelled using to gather information from the Fierceseed in 184. That’s like 66 years ago, it was once an Elven Forest Retreat but IS NOW UNDER THE REALM OF JUNGLES. So he was a spy, huh.

OH SHIT IF ORGOT TO WATCH THE NUDES. Let’s see what’s going on the world.

Spoiler: SHIT (click to show/hide)

SHIT

Spoiler: SHIT (click to show/hide)

SHIT

Spoiler: Mayor Political Changes (click to show/hide)

YOU ARE FAKE DNNEWS

Spoiler: Fortress reclaimed (click to show/hide)

WELL YOU DID AT LEAST

Spoiler: WTF (click to show/hide)

SHIT

Spoiler: Army on the March (click to show/hide)

OH GOD

Spoiler: Reclaim up north (click to show/hide)

PHEW

Spoiler: Reclaim up north (click to show/hide)

AT LAST

Spoiler: Um (click to show/hide)

WUT

Spoiler: Wait (click to show/hide)

NO WHALE

Spoiler: Goblin on Goblin crime?! (click to show/hide)

THIS HAS GOT TO BE FAKE NUEDS.

Spoiler: Storage Depot and Tavern Space (click to show/hide)

In other news, work has been FINISHED on this fucking underground storage depot here. We’re moving our food supplies underground and doors will be installed as soon as possible. Here, we have a still and a kitchen for supplying a nearby tavern, which is being furnished AS I WRITE THIS.

22nd Sandstone

Spoiler: Just As Planned (click to show/hide)

MIG RANTS

And THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM.

24th Sandstone

Spoiler: Dorf Liszt (click to show/hide)

Here’s the FINAL immigrant tally:

I did this semi-professionally so people can get an idea of the citizens. Holy shit it's SO HARD TO FUCKUS UP HERE.

1. Zasit Hailwhip (M): Ranger from Blockadebattles. He has all round abilities regarding shooting and taking care of animals.
2. Reg Knifecrushed (M). Army (C)Rapper and Beatboxer, who is more skilled in being a musician than in his ability as a weapon smith or mechanic. Holy FUCK bro. He comes from Helmeddeer, but spent time in Minehush too. Both on the other side of the continent, about two days’ of travel away. Quite the tour of duty there.
3. Vutok Decentring (M), a humble bonecarver aged 25. So he’s basically a baby in dwarven terms. He was born in Minehush, but emigrated to the coastal hillocks of Deepvault in hopes of living a better life. There, he married Kib Copperships.
4. Solon Oilconfuse (F), an adequate glassmaker. Aged 23, she comes from Citymerged, the deepest of dwarven fortresses so far. She is married to Rigòth Landwind.
5. Mosus Strappingattic (M), a legendary stone crafter who created an artefact. He is 79 years old and from SYRUPBOWEL. He is married to Sazir Rakesack… UMMM.
6. Sazir Rakesack (M), Axedwarf, Wax Wormer, and is a great musician. It seems that she came from Syrupbowel, but also emigrated to The Realm of Jungles at some time in the past.
7. Sozon Rosyearths (M), 135 year old fishery worker born in Boltwet, who moved afterwards to Lancechanneled. He is married to Zutthan Distinctbolts, a trader.
8. Cerol Torchtest (F), 70 years old, from at least three locations. She is married to Reg Knifecrushed. Her real skills are mostly in performance and not fishing.
9. Besmar Calmgears (M), a 148 year old fishery worker from Treatystraps, a dwarven fortress on the other side of the Sensitive Continents. Besmar later moved to the Mountain Halls of Townancient and married Aban Wheelmerged. They have eight children, none of whom is present with them. He has all-round novice skills, not exactly great for someone of his age but I guess there are reasons. Besmar is also a devotee of Omât The Lacy Letter.
10. Zuglar Icylenses (M), another 118-year-old humble fishery worker from the nearby hillocks of Copperglided, where he was born. He seems to be widowed, but is the cousin of Kib.
11. Rigòth Landwind (M), the 24 year old from the Hillocks of Fireiron. He later moved to Citymerged, where he met Solon Oilconfused and married her. He seems to have been a farmhand and hunter for a while, but excusably isn’t very skilled.
12. Kib Copperships (F), 27 year old cousin of Zuglar Icylenses and married to Vutok Decentring. She was born in Deepvault and recently moved here. She is a doctor by learning, and I’m considering putting her in charge of a medical institute.
13. Zutthan Distinctbolts (F), 135 year old trader from Lancechanneled, where she married Solon Rosyearths. She appears to have been in a few brawls in her time, or has some military training related to survival on the road. Her only other non-trading skills are farm related.
14. Aban Wheelmerged (F), A trader from Townancient. She is 135 years old, and also has some military training as well, like Zutthan.
15. Kib Mansionstroked (F), a 57 year old peasant who met and married Zasit in Blockadebattles. She seems to be well travelled as a poet, speaker, teacher, and wordsmith, but also killed the elf Nemo Rhymewhiskers in the year 239, when she was about 46 years old. Other groups she has been a part of are the Zephyr of Axes, the Unwelcome Spiders, and The Dipped Cruelty, which runs the Dark Goblin Pits of Balancedevils far to the north. She was likely kidnapped by goblins and taken there. WE OFFICIALLY HAVE THE INSIDE STORY MY DWARFY BROS.

Oh and I TRIED ASSIGNING MOAR BEDS but we’re out of bedROOMS.

Spoiler: This seems like it will shit (click to show/hide)

I PROMOTEDLY DECIDE TO BUILD SOME ABOVEGROUND HOUSING.

Spoiler: Our proposed tavern name. LAAAAAME (click to show/hide)

With enough tables and chairs to designate a tavern, I PROMPTLY DO SO. But really? “The Oats of Spinning”?

Spoiler: Absolutely Appropriate (click to show/hide)

There. That’s a LOT better. Now to find a tavern keeper and a performer…

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HOREY SHET. TIME TO GET PROFESSIONAL MODE ON AGNOSTIC.

So firstly, I have to fill in the job of Messenger. That’s like someone who goes out to other fortresses and requests stuff, I guess. I GUESS. I pick Rigòth Landwind since he seems to fit the job fine.

I assign Kib the role of fort poet, so she’s going to cover the ENTIRE fortress. Pretty cool eh?

The TAVERN KEEPER for THE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS is Solon Rosyearths and I pick !!Reg!! XXKnifecrushedXX and xxSazirxx !!Rakesack!! AS THE BARDS.

Not sure what to do with everyone else, I immediately assign them to plant duties. We don’t need Dumed Pagedcontains to desperately make stone crafts anymore though so I’ve switched him over to Armoursmithing.

ALSO I SENT A MESSAGE TO THE MOUNTAINHOMES THAT WE DON’T REALLY NEED MORE THAN 45 DWARVES SO THAT WILL BE THE CASE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. Like when I send the messenger out. This is MOSTLY to stop us from being swamped by a goblin invasion too soon.

Note by the narrator (i.e. CaptainArchmage): I Set the population cap pretty low, to 45/60. Births will pimp us up to 60 dwarfs. Sieges start at 80. I don’t have much time in this version.

25th Limestone

Spoiler: A Visitor has arrived! (click to show/hide)

WITHIN ABOUT A DAY WE GET A VISIT FROM SOME HUMANS. Apparently they heard we were setting up a LEGENDARY TAVERN here.

Professional mode: I mean, it makes sense. The human settlements are about half a day's travel out..... it's not like there's some kind of spy op going on eh?

1st Timber

Spoiler: Events and a Temple (click to show/hide)

HUZZAH WE JUST GOT A MASTERWORK INSTRUMENT MADE. It’s a Rock Salt Kutam, a portable drum.

Oh yeah, that thing I drew there is the plan and construction process for the future temple to Omât The Lacy Letter. I decided to make it..... ABOVE GROUND.

Spoiler: Mosus Strappingattic's Goal is Acheevo'd (click to show/hide)

He has every damn right to be proud.

2nd Timber

Spoiler: Oof (click to show/hide)

Meanwhile to the north, some giant flying squirrels crash and burn.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And one has become totally mangled. I’m going to try and recover, and then butcher it.

3rd Timber

Spoiler: Our First Strange Mood (click to show/hide)

WE HAVE A STRANGE MOOD

Spoiler: The Craftsdwarf's Shop has been Commandeered (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: That which we do not have... YET! (click to show/hide)

Shit, it’s Mistêm Stopmetals. You know, our dwarven child prodigy who was going to become an all rounded musician and tap dancer when she grew up. She just withdrew from society, and wants some leather and more wood. Well we have wood, we just need to get that Giant Flying Squirrel butchered and tanned to go.

5th Timber

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

AW FUCK I THOUGHT PEOPLE WEREN’T GOING TO GU HUNTING never mind it wasn’t too much of a disaster. Just have to have that crossbow and supplies recovered now he’s abandoned them.

Spoiler: General Dwarven Conversation (click to show/hide)

W.T.F.

7th Timber

It actually takes a long time to get the giant squirrel corpse. Seriously HOW THE FUCK DOES IT TAKE THIS LONG oh right it’s really FUCKING heavy. Makes sense.

9th Timber

THE WEREGILA MONSTER NAKO OMOSPLUSTU HAS COME!

Spoiler: The Beast (click to show/hide)

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

This is probably the WORST possible thing that could have happened, actually. This foul creature no doubt discovered our fortress through ESPIONAGE by the GRASPING PHLEGM-VICE probably how word got out about the LEAGUE OF LEGENDS in such a short time oh shit. WE HAVE A SPHY IN OUR MIDSHT EVERYONE GET UNDERGROUND! NOW!

Spoiler: Waterbuffalo vs. Weregila Monster (click to show/hide)

The were-gila monster proceeds to totally rip to shreds the FUCKING WATER BUFFALO.

10th Timber

Spoiler: Were-Gila Monster vs. Two Humped Camel (click to show/hide)

AND MOVES ON TO THE CAMEL.

Spoiler: DON'T HOE THE DOOR YOU (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: FUCKIN' SHIDWIT (click to show/hide)

AND THANKS TO THE CLUSTERFUCK THE GUY BRINGING THE GIANT FLYING SQUIRREL DUMPED IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DOORWAY AND THAT MEANS WE CANNOT SEAL OFF THE TOWER.

Spoiler: The Beast pauses for a moment (click to show/hide)

At least we can withdraw to the TAVERN but shit Mistêm Stopmetals is going to be screwed.

Spoiler: The Tide, or the Moon, Turns (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Nako Viledwelled flees (click to show/hide)

OR NOT, because THE BEAST IMMEDIATELY TURNS BACK INTO A HUMAN and makes a run for it. FuCk.

+///Rage///+

I can’t exactly remember the name of the one who dumped the skink but it was a farmer. Whoever he is, he’s going to get a StErN TaLkInG To.

[CaptainArchmage]

And here we go: A calmer, more culturally enriched end of Autumn and Winter season.

10th Timber, Later that day:

Spoiler: Mazegate Remembers (click to show/hide)

It turns out that Dumed Mazegate was the one responsible for hauling the giant flying squirrel, and was generally panicked and also feeling vengeful.

Spoiler: I'm a lot more focused now (click to show/hide)

That said, I’m generally feeling a LOT MORE FOCUSED now that I’ve had time to take it easy in the tavern, watch performances, and so on, and get drunk. So I’m going to let this slide. I’m also going to schedule myself some more tavern time.

Spoiler: Two humped camel teeth (click to show/hide)

Unfortunately, we lost both of our wagon animals coming here, along with the nanny goat we bought off the caravan. The camel got its teeth knocked out, everywhere, even ino the river.

Spoiler: All animals attacked were bitten (click to show/hide)

We’ll have them butchered, hopefully the meat will be safe to eat because the all of the animals were injected with whatever essence the were-gila-monster was carrying. I’ll make sure it gets cooked up properly, I hear that should be sterilising or something.

Spoiler: We need to door this off! (click to show/hide)

Two major issues came up during the were beast fight. Firstly, we’ll need to secure the fortress a lot better. The tower was completely open and that would have allowed the were beast to get in. I’m going to coordinate this with Sanctume but we’ll start by installing doors all around the tower base. Most will be kept locked at all times. In the future, I may replace the doors with portcullises.

Spoiler: This could have been a disaster (click to show/hide)

I’ll also make sure access to the tower can be blocked at all times. This might involve just slamming a hatch on the staircase from above, but I might make sure all levels of the tower can be sealed off at any time.

We may end up pulling our dwarves in during the full moon. The next full moon is on 6th Moonstone, according to the copy of A Treatise on Waxing and Waning I bought from the traders, and had a cursory glance at.

The second major issue is the nature of the were beast. The were-beast has a human form, but with a goblin name: Nako Omosplustu “Nako Viledwelled”. I have not looked up his history but it seems that he was born in either The Grasping Phlegm-Vice or The Demon of Rats - and perhaps has maintained links to that society. We should be on our guard.

I also ordered the hospital level to be carved out, underground. We may opt to instead use these as spare bedrooms, since the surface has proven itself to be quite a hostile area.

14th Timber

Spoiler: F'ing finally (click to show/hide)

We have FINALLY produced the giant flying squirrel leather and Mistêm Stopmetals has gone to get it. Hopefully that’s everything she needs…

Spoiler: Construction Underway! (click to show/hide)

And yes, YES IT IS! Legendary Woodcrafter (in ten years…), here we come!

16th Timber

Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that the animals killed in Nako’s rampage can be safely butchered. Sorry guys, we’re going to have to wait for them to rot and then use the bones. In the meantime try not to fly off the handle...

19th Timber

Spoiler: Our first artefact! (click to show/hide)

Aaaaand it is finally done! Mistêm Stopmetals has constructed a wooden figurine memorialising the rampage of the Bronze Colossus Iwethi Routcontrolled the Tempest of Fliers in Helmeddeer. It is called Ellesttathtak, or "Kinswaps". She claimed it in the name of Mistêm Grandmine, her family ancestor. He or she seems to be several times removed, and isn't listed in her genealogy, which halts at her grandparents. However I’ll ask Mosus Strappingattic to create a figurine related to this individual.

Spoiler: We have struck! (click to show/hide)

We also struck a vein of platinum in the cloth storage area! It leads to the north and west. I might end up expanding the tower storage area to include that, later on.

21st Timber

Spoiler: OMGWTF (click to show/hide)

Finally got the backstory on Mistêm Grandmine, and boy is it grim. It isn’t clear how far removed he is in terms of lineage yet, but he was born in 39 and was devoured in 122, in Bronzesabre. Holy fugue.

27th Timber

Spoiler: A Masterwork! (click to show/hide)

Mosus has made a rock salt pedestal fitting for our new artifact. It shall be displayed in the League of Legends.

1st Moonstone

Spoiler: FakerFangirl at the office (click to show/hide)

Winter is upon us, and with it the trees outside are bare. But inside, our fortress is becoming more vibrant than ever. Here, we have “FakerFangirl” at work in her new office, making sure our stockpile records are just peachy. I didn’t get a chair made but instead a +rock salt throne+ which should be just as good.

Spoiler: Earlier that day (click to show/hide)

From a little earlier in the day, Ber has been smoothing up my bedroom. We'll probably need more engravers around here, so when the miners are done they'll step up to the job.

Spoiler: Fort Status, 1st Moonstone 250, End of Autumn Quarter (click to show/hide)

This is the economic state of the fortress. Wealth is up significantly this season, mostly due to the artefact being made and all kinds of other manufacturing going on. While “FakerFangirl” is trying to make sure everything’s precise, she isn’t skilled enough to get a precise lid on the food stocks yet.

Spoiler: Kinswaps (click to show/hide)

Kinswaps is being displayed in the League of Legends. I will put the other pedestals up so we can display our other items but this one is particularly important. As it is in the middle of a tavern, I doubt anyone can swipe it that easily.

We’ll be adding more pedestals into the hallways beneath, between rooms. Not exactly sure what we’re going to display there.

6th Moonstone

Spoiler: Our first petition for residency (click to show/hide)

I activated the alert to get everyone inside during the full Moon. I also had a petition from the human bard Isun Haregrains, to stay in the fortress for the purpose of performance. He will be performing in the fortress, on what is likely to be a permanent basis.

8th Moonstone

Spoiler: Figurines that "relate" to Omât? (click to show/hide)

Full Moon blew over without any issues, so the fortress is officially unsealed. In the meantime, I tried to have Mosus make some figurines in the name of Omât the Lacy Letter, but we got curious results. I guess the works referenced all feature Omât, right?

23rd Moonstone

Spoiler: Chicksplosion (click to show/hide)

Chicks have hatched! In other news, I also get a not-too-good quality pedestal and a nope quality door, so those will not be used nearby.

Next full Moon is 4th Opal. I’ll be locking down the fortress again when it comes around.

6th Opal

The full Moon once again blew over with no issues - as far as we know. I managed to have this exceptional figurine of me made, and it’s going to be displayed.

So will this exceptional figurine of Sanctume.

8th Opal

Spoiler: A Masterwork Founder Action Figure! (click to show/hide)

Another rock salt figurine of Erith Mistycloisters has been made! Also going on display, this one’s a masterwork.

5th Obsidian

Spoiler: The Monastery of Mushroom (click to show/hide)

Another Full Moon has blown over without incident. Completion of the Temple to Omât the Lacy Letter is almost here.

Spoiler: OHSHI- (click to show/hide)

Uhhh….

OH SHIT get the items out of the trade depot!

24th Obsidian

Spoiler: Safety measures (click to show/hide)

The Giant Kea incident ended without any injuries or anything being stolen. A -rock salt hatch- will now help prevent entrepreneurs entering the fortress from above. I mean, entry from the fortress from above.

Spoiler: The Rooftop of the Founders (click to show/hide)

This is the “Rooftop of the Founders”, on top of the Monastery of Mushroom. Some day, it will be the hall of the founders. I intend to add a couple of cells to the top floor.

27th Obsidian

Spoiler: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN with storytelling (click to show/hide)

For the New Year’s Party, everyone’s going to be locked down inside the fortress! Let’s get moving.

1st Granite 251

Spoiler: The Ball Drops (click to show/hide)

AW YEAH! The year is finally over. Time for a new dawn, where we unseal the fortress for the next year!

Spoiler: From back in Winter (click to show/hide)

During the winter, I actually became a lot more focused. History has... tales of dwarves going off the rails due to not having a cup to drink out of during fortress foundation. However, it was not the case this time. We have prevailed.

Spoiler: Fortress Status, 1st Granite 251 (click to show/hide)

Lastly this is the total state of the fortress wealth and people. We're up to 32 individuals, with 31 dwarves and 1 human. Net Domestic Income was 49,613 Suns, Imports are at 28,549, and Exports were at 3,439.

[CaptainArchmage]

In which Led Clutchedcrypts and Claspedbowels go GRIMDARK

This has been formatted for now. I'm going to update it, probably tomorrow, with the details of what has gone on.
Updates have now gone in with the fortress economic status posted. On to the summer!

6th Granite

Spoiler: A strange mood starts off the new year (click to show/hide)

Another strange mood descends upon Claspedbowels. Led Clutchedcrypts, chief medical dwarf, goes all grumpy in the stairwell and withdraws from society. She says he’s “Got It”. Not sure what “it” means but he runs and claims a carpenter’s shop outside.
8th Granite.

Spoiler: Stacked Leather?! Oh Noes! (click to show/hide)

So it turns out Led needs needs some stacked leather or something. We fortunately have some cut gems from the caravan and there’s plenty of wood but we don’t have much for a source of leather besides the animals we don’t want to slaughter... and a wombat.

Spoiler: Sanctume is now in an actual squad. (click to show/hide)

I of course do the responsible thing and go after the wombat. Firstly, I create a military, which we kind of need. Our first squad is called The Diamond Play, and Sanctume is of course its leader. He is, of course, Number Two.



I then put our Ranger, Zasit Hailwhip, at the second position, assign him a crossbow, and send him out to kill the wombat. Not like anything could go wrong, eh?

10th Granite

Of course, Zasit Hailwhip picks up the crossbow and quiver he dropped back in the autumn, and doesn’t take any ammunition. After chasing the Wombat, he climbs a tree and stays there. Whelp. I then go ahead and assign some ammunition to the squad and send him back out. Let’s try this one again.

14th Granite

Spoiler: Well, f... (click to show/hide)

Zasit never got the ammunition. Instead, he used his nope-quality bronze crossbow as a club, chasing the wombat around the eastern side of the forest until he bashes its teeth out and finally, managed to dispatch it.

Spoiler: Wombat Beatdown (click to show/hide)

These are the details. I decide we need to fix this military situation really quick now, because our crossbow dwarves need to leave with proper ammo. We’ll have a second squad, lead by Zasit.

15th Granite

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I put in an order for door installations, and it looks like we FINALLY have a wombat being butchered. We have some carp fry…

Spoiler: Brain = Carp Fry'd (click to show/hide)

Lolwut.

18th Granite

Spoiler: Awwwwww? (click to show/hide)

More puppies are born! We now have more prospective dogs of war, for when the shit inevitably hits the fan and we go to war against The Grasping Phlegm-Vice and The Demon of Rats.

20th Granite

Spoiler: F*ckin Finally (click to show/hide)

After sleeping, Ber finally tanned the wombat hide.



It seems some radiant cut topazes were also obtained... will it be showtime?

21st Granite

Spoiler: I wonder what it will be? (click to show/hide)

Yes! With all the things she needs, Led finally begins work. Hopefully she finishes before the full moon descends upon us…

25th Granite

Spoiler: It is done. (click to show/hide)

Artefact is made! Now get the hell inside!

A thunderous commotion occurs as we activate the alerts and head inside. Just. In. Case.

UM. HANG ON. WHAT WAS THAT ARTEFACT AGAIN?

27th Granite

The full Moon is over, and we made it through without any attacks or apparent attacks. I unseal the fortress and we proceed to go about our daily business.

Spoiler: Led Clutchedcrypts, an Ashen Casket (click to show/hide)

Firstly, the artefact. Led Clutchedcrypts fulfilled her name, and made a fantastic casket… named Led Clutchedcrypts. She has claimed it as a personal treasure.

Damn... that’s

grimDARK.

The ashen casket menaces with spikes of ash and topaz, and features an image of Beguiledknight the tower-cap ring in ash, in which the Datan Hamebuff was offered the ring by Monom Minebears in 179. It also features another image in ash, featuring Mistêm Stopmetals raising Kinswaps. The casket, disturbingly, refers to itself in wombat leather; however, I believe Led Clutchedcrypts (our doctor, not the artefact) made the artefact on the leather first. The artefact is worth 30,000 Suns, over half the fort’s previous value. I don’t really know what to do with the artefact… it should be put in Led Clutchedcrypts’ tomb, but that means putting Led Clutchedcrypts in Led Clutchedcrypts’ tomb…

Spoiler: A dream is realised (click to show/hide)

NO. SHIT.

Granite 28th

Spoiler: Literally, even (click to show/hide)

In the chaos of the fort’s sealing, and the artifact I forgot to mention we had a lamb born on the 25th. Additionally, I decided to put the dyes to good use. We need more bags, and I like my bags to be dyed.

Spoiler: Let's get some shields made... (click to show/hide)

In order to increase our military readiness, I ask Led Clutchedcrypts to make us ten ashen shields.

In other news, we have another piglet, born today.

Slate 1st

Spoiler: Also a view of the "hospital" (click to show/hide)

A new month brings with it a new masterwork oak shield. I mean ashen shield. I’m going to start dishing these out to our dwarves as is reasonable, and possible.

Slate 4th

Spoiler: An order, given (click to show/hide)

With work finished on smoothing up the hospital and textile level, we now move onto smoothing up the residential one.  It's not like we should have done that one, like, first, or anything. It's not, like, that may have had any impact on the GRIMDARK ARTEFACT we just experienced.

I really need to get a grip.

7th Slate

Spoiler: Storage Area 51 (click to show/hide)

Today, I decided to expand STORAGE Area 51… by which I mean mine it out.

Spoiler: Really? Oh right, we weren't mining as much as we were engraving. (click to show/hide)

In addition, both Zas Fencepulled and Cerol Torchtest just became an engravers by profession. With regards to Cerol, I expect more to follow - it doesn’t take much for a novice fisherdwarves to switch professions. Zas Fencepulled, however, is on our mining crew and is now a professional engraver. I expect this to change again when the mining work starts.

10th Slate

Our brewer, Kûbuk Mazegate, is having a major spiritual crisis and we’re running out of booze. Whelp. Guess me and Sanctume are going to step up to learn to run the stills. Good thing I ordered a bunch of barrels from Led, eh?

I promptly establish a new still in the drinks stockpile.

13th Slate

The weather has cleared, so anyone outside is no longer going to get pissed on. I now recall we were going to have some kind of weather forecasting tower established, but those plans were placed on hold.

Spoiler: Stories from the Time before Time. (click to show/hide)

As it so happens, in the meantime we got this statue regarding Tecàk and The Velvet of Vomit, an armadillo devil who was brought into this world by the aforementioned diety of dance.

17th Slate

Spoiler: The masterwork barrel is secondary, since Legendary Grimdark Carpenter is Legendary (click to show/hide)

More future war dogs are born!

Spoiler: Iron Ore! (click to show/hide)

Down below, we get our hands on a supply of hematite. This is good news for our steel industry.

The full Moon returns on the 23rd, so we’ll be carrying out our usual evacuation plans.

18th Slate

Spoiler: Koala FAIL (click to show/hide)

Dude, WTF. Seems like a koala fell out of a tree.

20th Slate

Aaaand more migrants have arrived. Great.

21st Slate

Here’s the list of migrants. We’ll need to cut down an oak tree and install some more beds, but after the full moon.

Spoiler: Litast Towerpassions (click to show/hide)

1. Litast Towerpassions (M), Adequate Animal Caretaker from Wheelbridged. Aged 28.
2. Onol Tanglecloister (M), novice cheesemaker, spinner, and beekeeper. Aged 124, from the nearby Hillocks of Copperglided.
3. Fikod Frostyrazor (F), novice marksdwarf and trapper. She is 122 years old, and was born in Goldenhood, a Hillocks on the other side of the continent. After that she migrated to Copperglided and married Onol.
4. Rovod Loneknife. (M), “Fishery Worker” aged 79. He comes from Deepvault, the hillocks to the south west and at the most southwesterly point on The Sensitive Continents.
5. Thob Birdkey (F), a great tracker, with some farming skills. She is 81, also from Deepvault and married to Rovod.
6. Kol Escortrelic (M), 109 year old brewer, milker, and cook from Nosebasements, a dwarven fortress to the east. It’s the closest one to us other than Claspedbowels.
7. Sibrek Clanhatchet (F), herbalist from the hillocks of Fireiron. She is 14, and the younger sister of the fortress messenger, Rigòth Landwind.
8. Logem Helmedmost (F), legendary bone carver. Aged 132, she is the eldest so far from these migrants. She was born in Gladeink and then moved… I’m not sure where. She claims to have been part of The Deified Poems as well as The Savage Gale, but I haven’t been able to associate those with a particular site in particular. Seems her master was Pevó Amalaromimi, which sounds elvish. So are many of her friends, most of whom should still be alive. In addition to being a fuckin’ legend, she is a great poet and speaker, and can write. Strangely enough, she doesn’t seem to be much of a reader… I guess she only reads what she has written then?

Spoiler: Logem's "Master" (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Logem's cousins... a small cross-section of them (click to show/hide)

Logem has a lot of cousins. Two of them migrated with her here. Ral Boltcrafted is her nephew and Aban Wheelmerged is also her aunt, while Besmar Calmgears is her uncle.

9. Limul Weakpillars (F), 47, former marksdwarf who was probably became a hunter around Sunkenroom, the hillocks where she was born. She later moved to Syrupbowel and married the hunter Asob Sabrestreams, and joined the military. Her highest skill is in fishing, though.

10. Sarvesh Conjuredglove (M), three year old son of Limul Weakpillars and Asob Sabrestreams.

11. Deduk Helmsummits (M), 27, from Whiskeredarches. He used to farm cave wheat there, and had a part time job spinning thread. He has dabbling military skills so he can put on a suit of armour and throw some punches, but nothing else. Curiously, he worships an object known as Galu Rocksclams the Amethyst of Echoes… I’ll need to get the story on that one.

12. Asob Sabrestreams (M), 45, from Syrupbowel. He is a hunter and the brother of Ber Bronzedrill our legendary weapon smith… and that’s it… besides worshipping FIVE deities.

13. Zas Mountainvalley (M), Legendary Stonecrafter. He is 85, and came here from Charmpainted where he was born. It’s a small mountain halls with only about 20 dwarves in it. Aside from being legendary in stone crafting, he is a novice glassmaker, glazer, and has minor skills in armoured kickboxing.

This brings our fortress number up to 45, which I believe is the limit I had prescribed to the outpost liason.

I also found we have two legendary stone crafters not doing much now, so they can do engraving in the meantime. It’s a useful skill and helps everyone.

24th Slate

Spoiler: He was weighed down (click to show/hide)

Asob is the last individual to enter the fortress, after the alert is raised. Seems like despite being armed with an iron crossbow, he is “very weak” and that’s probably causing him some trouble in moving around.

Spoiler: Does that mean more eggs? (click to show/hide)

One of the turkey pets has grown up, and Zas is now considered a miner once more. Stupid department of employment regulations, eh?

25th Slate

Once again, the full moon blows over without any issues. Unlike last time, we now have a grand total of 45 dwarves, and we still need housing for about… 7 dwarves.

Spoiler: This one's a hippie temple (click to show/hide)

I have also designated a second temple, known as The Temple of Law. Not sure who suggested that but anyways. It is dedicated to Kerlîg, deity of mercy and forgiveness. It is based around an open-air statue of Kerlîg.

1st Felsite

Spoiler: This can't be healthy (click to show/hide)

New month and I’m presented with this travesty against food standards. Seriously? Some guy milled whip vine flour with dimple cups, so we have blue flour. At least the dyer can separate the dye out.

I spoke with Logem Helmedmost about the groups she was associated with. The Deified Poems was, or still is, a performance troupe with mostly elven members (as was seen). The Savage Gale was an elven government, which likely lasted until it was wiped out by The Realm of Jungles. I commissioned from her a wombat skull totem, as well as two tooth figurines to commemorate both groups.

2nd Felsite

Spoiler: Masterwork Ashen... (click to show/hide)

Seems like I’ve got a new bed. :-/.


3rd Falsetto

Spoiler: No question where this one is going (click to show/hide)

The wombat bone totem is masterwork. Whelp, time to install it somewhere.

LATER THAT DAY

Turns outside the camel teeth we have couldn’t be turned into figurines or something. What the fuck man, are they covered under the same health and safety rules? At least we have a bone wombat sceptre. To be honest I’m going to have Logem make a full regalia out of the wombat’s bone parts now, it will go in whichever tomb Led Clutchedcrypts - possibly both of them - end up in.

4th Felsite

Spoiler: Time to build a smelter here? (click to show/hide)

More good news from the big dig in Storage Area 51: We hit a magnetite deposit. This bodes well for the future of our operations.

21st Felsite

I decided to increase the space at the top of The Monastery of Mushroom. We’ll have some cells for visitors to stay in… maybe also lodging for some of our new migrants.

Spoiler: The second still is drawn in here (click to show/hide)

Of course, it is now full Moon, so we’re inside and trying to build more doors.

1st Hematite, 251

Spoiler: The last few days have been crazy, as usual. (click to show/hide)

I decide to sit down and finally look over the fortress' finances and other details, since it's the end of the season.

Spoiler: Fortress Finances (click to show/hide)

Not only has the fortress created wealth gone up by 103.6% over the last season, but the fortress' GRIMDARKNESS has gone up intensely with the creation of Led Clutchedcrypts. We also have a few more dwarves, with the population sticking at 45. There's some significance to that number which I'm not getting just at this moment...

Oh well, here's to a productive summer Claspedbowels!

[CaptainArchmage]

Here's the Summer report! I'm going to take a tour of the fortress in the next post, so people know where everything is.

Fortress development has hit the second-to-lowest level. The lowest level's use should be obvious by now (besides being a source of granite so we can make mugs that don't taste like a League of Legends map), but I'll cover it later in the general course of the fortress' progress. Again, this is literally a temporary outpost albeit one home to about 50 dwarves and other permanent residents now.

I'm also going to take reservations for a manager. First come first served. If you want a dwarf, claim a dwarf. The manager doesn't have to be starting seven, but we'll need one. You'll get at least a bedroom, personal office, and personal dining room.

In the words of its author, the journal of Datan "CaptainArchmage" Lanterndwelled, "A lot of shit's been going on at CLASPEDBOWELS". The fortress had less morbidity and GRIMDARKNESS in its function during the summer of the year 251, and featured thus far the largest expansion of higher-tier infrastructure and military structuring. Perhaps, Messer Lanterndwelled suggested, this would be the largest expansion of the fortress for a long time. But perhaps, it would be the largest expansion for only a little while.

1st Hematite LATER THAT DAY

Phew! It's no longer raining outside.

2nd Hematite

It’s a-

Spoiler: Dun dun dun (click to show/hide)

Well, that was of course going to happen. At this rate, we’ll need to keep a closer eye out for goblin abduction gangs…

10th Hematite

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The human caravan is here?! Oh fuck! Time to get some supplies to surface…

Spoiler: What's been going on (click to show/hide)

Of course, these guys may by f*cked if a were beast attacks on the 19th.

13th Hematite

I traded away the two prepared food barrels for some metal, special stone blocks, food, and all the available leather. Hopefully, we’ll have some more prepared food to trade away one day.

15th Hematite

Spoiler: (´♡‿♡`) (click to show/hide)

The anime starts falling from the trees again, but with four days to go before the next full moon, we have other things to worry about.

What the Christ is anime, anyway. Like, moving engravings?

16th Hematite

Another peal of thunder of in the skies. Damn, this is what happens when you are tied to the surface!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In other news, two piles of vomit turned up on the rooftop of the founders. For fuck's sake man, I have no idea who is responsible for this, as the area was roofed over and we don't have any tidal waves of vomit. We also have two pools of water buffalo blood on there too now, but that is more attributable to the current deluge.

21st Hematite

Spoiler: Literally Even (click to show/hide)

The full moon seems to be mostly over; the only injuries and casualties were a few days of productivity outside, and for some reason the self-esteem of this giant squirrel, which fell out of a tree.

2nd Malachite

Spoiler: Long term stress problems (click to show/hide)

Zutthan has been under a great deal of stress and yelled at me, so I took her off herbalism and farming duties. Hopefully she will recover now.

She likes llama milk, artichoke wine, and guavas. I think we can at least get some of that towards fulfilling her dietary desires.

In order to buy more stuff off the humans, I’ve had some roast made with dwarven syrup and the preserved brain of the wombat we butchered way back in spring.

Spoiler: Oh God (click to show/hide)

No shit, no way am I touching that kind of crap. We’re selling it, and everything else in that barrel.

Also ordering the kitchen to get a steam clean. Holy fuck, of everything you could put into your meal, you had to put that.

10th Malachite

I’m not really sure how to proceed at this point. Zutthan seems to be missing abstract thinking in her life, so I’m going to make her a scholar at a library. It’s not like you de-stress in like a month or so, but at least we’ll have a library area to work with.

11st Malachite

Spoiler: The Barricaded Vault (click to show/hide)

The new library is here: The Barricaded Vault! This is in the level I believe I called “Staging Area 6” once. Anyhow, no worries.

I assign five scholars:
1. Sanctume, obviously going to be scholarly about being an engineer while he isn’t being chief of the militia.
2. Rigoth, our broker.
3. Zutthan, who was feeling miserable about not having anything intellectual to do; I’ll rotate her around with some other craft to get her going.
4. Sibrek, who is 14 years old and will be here for a long time.
5. Asmel the Siege Engineer.

Spoiler: Visual Proof - Library Job Assignments (click to show/hide)

I assign Vutok the adequate bone crafter as our scribe. Maybe we’ll need him, maybe we won’t.

For a long time, I actually wanted the library to be a weather research station. However, we need to have a higher tower to do so, and we don't. What we do have is are two underground areas, one of which is easily used as a library. The other will probably be a barracks.

Later that day:

Spoiler: A coffer, made. A dream, fulfilled. (click to show/hide)

Fittingly, Rigòth made a Masterwork Rock Salt Coffer. I’m putting it in the library area. I think he's fulfilled his dream now.

20th Malachite

The library is taking shape. I’m going to have to decide what to do on the level beneath though, which should be Staging Area 7 and the entry to the tower from what should be the fortress proper.

Spoiler: Echidna action (click to show/hide)

We got by the full Moon without any significant issues. Again. Some ADHDchidna has been rolling into a ball and rolling out of a ball, but that’s been it.

Spoiler: A valuable trading good (click to show/hide)

Since there’s no chance of the sweet pods getting mixed up with the to-mill list, I decide to start milling dye plants again. As soon as I go through the forbid process, I see we have “valley herbs”, which can be processed into a kind of golden salve. We picked these up from the humans by the way - I honestly wasn’t thinking when I bought all the plant and food goods they had.

23rd Malachite

The Giant Keas are back! Well fuck, time to get everything else underground now. I designate a couple of stockpiles for leaving goods in down below.

1st Galena

Luckily nothing was lost to the Kea attack from that craftsdwarves’ shop, but there’s still a set of arrows in there nobody is picking up. I also found we’re out of bins, so I ordered a shitload of them.

Spoiler: Another birth! (click to show/hide)

But the real reason I am making this update today is this little fella was born.

Spoiler: He is very young, and dreams of... (click to show/hide)

He already dreams of raising a family.

4th Galena

Spoiler: I warned you about babies! (click to show/hide)

It keeps happening!

6th Galena

Spoiler: A sticky, shitty, situation (click to show/hide)

Today I learned dwarven babies suffer cave adaptation, thus why there’s vomit everywhere. Well, shit.

23rd Galena

No incidents at the full Moon, but one dwarf was injured in a Kea attack. Kol Escortrelic was suffered wounds to his upper body and required something fifteen stitched or something. To make matters worse, the hospital is current housing excess population so I had to use one of the potential houses as a hospital. Yes, we're kind of getting houses here too...

Spoiler: Injuries (click to show/hide)

If this were from a riot at the races, it would be something to be proud of, among a certain group of dwarves.

Spoiler: Preliminary Floorplan (click to show/hide)

I spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what “Staging Area 7” should look like. This is what I came up with. Nine bedroom units or lever rooms, two guard posts (east), and two temples (west). Also note the plumbing planned out - it should connect to the room where the book-binding workshop is. Well, fuck.

24th Galena

Spoiler: Literally, even (click to show/hide)

Oh would you look at that, we have as many piles of vomit in the library as we have books. More piles of vomit in the library as we have books, if I include the doorway.

The source of the vomit is, unsurprisingly, babies. Babies, having spent nine months in a region without sunlight, get quite nauseous when exposed to the sun.

Spoiler: The Panda men (click to show/hide)

To the north, a group of Panda men approach. Hopefully there won’t be any trouble with them.

25th Galena

Rigoth has finally produced a masterwork door, which is going on the entrance of the living area.

Actually no, scratch that. I’m going to have it studded with spikes… oops, can’t do that yet. Anyways we don’t have anyone skilled enough to trust with a masterwork. Yet.

And another masterwork happened, so we’re fitting it on the stairwell door to Staging Area 6.

26th Galena

Official military reforms day!

Swordsdwarves, will be lead by our current militia commander and NUMBER TWO, Sanctume. When we get a captain of the guard (which I am informed will happen shortly), I’m going to reassign Zasit the ranger to that position, but not right now.

Axedwarves, will be lead by yours truly to glorious victory as THE BANNERS OF RINSING. But mostly sparring in a spare barracks. If only we had some axe dwarves. Well besides Sazir Rakesack. Literally, even.

Hammerdwarves will be lead by Led Clutchedcrypts: The Rhythms of Barricading. Obviously. I don’t really like putting our chief medical dwarf on the front line, but still… I find two other dwarves to be in this squad.

The unarmed squad is be lead by Fakerfangirl, under the banner of The Honest Boots. They will still have shields assigned, and they’re literally going to focus on a lot of shit. Of course, Fakerfangirl literally gets overloaded with ten squad members and we need a new squad...

So I create a squad with Rigòth, the broker, as its leader.

To celebrate his promotion, Rigòth made yet another masterwork door, which is going on the entryway to Staging Area 7.

28th Galena

Spoiler: The sugar must flow! (click to show/hide)

To celebrate the movement into the autumn season, I have Dumed Pagedcontained make some lavish meal. I’m micromanaging where he’s allowed to take food from, to make sure the dwarven syrup gets used. Suffice it to say, an apocalyptic amount of sugar is going to be included in the next recipe.

1st Limestone

Spoiler: It has come (click to show/hide)

Aaaand Autumn here we come! I expect a well-laden dwarven caravan in the coming few days, and we are preparing all the food we can make to use as effective currency.

Spoiler: End of Summer Report (click to show/hide)

-I- Fakerfangirl of course -have- has the fortress accounts sorted out for this season. As you can see, we are up about 33,000 suns. Our weapons wealth has mysteriously declined slightly, armour and garb are steady, and everything else is up. We’re up a considerable number of nobles/admins, and are up five dwarves due to births. Our exported wealth is up about 8500 and imported wealth up 6000. With regards to food stores, we’re massively better off.

[Imic]

I put forward a request for a Dorfing. A male Miner if possible.

[CaptainArchmage]

I put forward a request for a Dorfing. A male Miner if possible.

Spoiler: Shameless plug of the previous Stellaris Boatmurdered 2200 game (click to show/hide)

YOU JUST GOT ME WHILE I WAS FIXING SOME NEEDED MODS FOR THE NEW BOATMURDERED 2200 STELLARIS GAME.

Fine, I'll get it done. We don't have any male miners but we can probably find one from a migration wave or something.

JOURNAL OF CAPTAIN ARCHMAGE, Whenever. OK, fine.

Claspedbowels: The Grand Tour, Limestone 1st 251

AS IT IS CURRENTLY 1st Limestone, I've got to rehearse a GRAND TOUR of the fortress so I can show the place out to whoever is the outpost liaison this year. So I'm going to live journal it, which is a fancy way of saying "I'm scribbling this shit while eating, drinking, walking, and making sure I don't fuck up".

And so my fellow bearded ethanol-positive individuals, let us begin the tour of Claspedbowels as it stands at the beginning of autumn, 251.

Spoiler: "Professionally" edited view of the surface (click to show/hide)

Firstly, the surface. Claspedbowels is trisected by the river and waterfalls, but there are wooden bridges connecting all sides. They will be replaced, but in the long term future.

In ink I made from the emerald dye:
1. The east side has nothing, though it is the logical place to host a guard post or town gate once the surface is better fortified.

2. The south side is intended to host the central part of the proper fortress, but contains aquifer-heavy soil. At the moment, it only hosts a basic mill and a stockpile holding dye-making plants. A chronic shortage of bags and difficulty processing the plants efficiently has been a constant spectre over the efficiency of this installation.

3. The west side of the fortress hosts all the primary structures. The wagon has been stuck here for nearly a year and a half, and is our primary store for coal and maybe a few items that haven’t yet been overloaded.

To the south, there is the trade depot and some farm plots for growing surface dye plants: Hide roots and blade weed. You know, maybe if one day some enterprising dwarf could establish a "grab operation" and get some sliver barb seeds from the Unnameable Dune, we could start growing that stuff here and mass produce a shitload of death metal and heavy metal gear in a safe environment. But that will depend on an adventurer or something, or a group of really crazy folks who are probably more crazy than anyone we have here.

From west to east, the buildings are labeled in redroot dye ink as follows:
I. The Monastery of Mushroom, a temple to Omât the Lacy Letter. This is the oldest temple in Claspedbowels, as well as the largest and best maintained. The second story is home to the statues of the Founders. This was once a rooftop but will become a proper room in the future. The third story is currently under construction, but will have some cells for visitors and religious aesthetics to stay. The other levels aren't planned yet.

II. The Temple of Law. This is dedicated to Kerlîg, diety of mercy. It is open to the sky, and a single statue and two pedestals, with four pillars to define the corners.

III. The House. It’s called The House because it’s the only dedicated house on the surface. Currently, the ground floor is home to nothing but may save as an office to a trading official or the fortress messenger. The second floor is a bedroom given to Sibrek for reasons I can’t remember, and the third floor has literally nothing.

IV. Surface manufacturing. Literally, a mass of workshops for processing surface goods, which were never moved underground. Anyone working out here is working out in the open and the goods are vulnerable to theft. We're going to try to move those indoors before long.

V. The Tower. I didn’t call it the Tower of this or that, like I didn’t call the House the House of that, whom, or whatever. It’s the only one in the fortress so it doesn’t need a distinction. The Tower happens to be the primary base of the fortress, made out of wood and stretching up but maybe not above the treetops.

The tower, aboveground:

Ground Floor (in the drawing) - The entryway. Host to a statue of… the armadillo devil, The Velvet of Vomit, making a pact with Tecàk the deity of dance, and the doors are all lockable. We withdraw here during the full moons.

Level 1 - The chicken coop. A couple of nest boxes have been laid down here and the chicken can use them for egg laying. It’s hard to get dwarves to not seize the eggs but we should do that eventually. Chicken seem quite happy to consume the moss that grows around here and the tower is literally open.

Level 2 - The craftdwarves’ shop. It’s more secure than the outdoor workshops but anything that flies can get in here. It’s roofed off.

Level 3 - The unfinished next story of the tower, since we ran out of oak and I cut down nothing. I planned to have some observation platforms and make the libraries up here, for meteorological uses. However, that would require having some glass windows and we don’t have enough resources for that yet.

I want to expand the tower upwards, and we’ll do this by building upwards with stone blocks around the wood. The wood will then become a “Wainscotting” which is a fancy term for a wooden wall lining. Top levels will be separated from the air by glass, and the rooftop will be open for astronomical purposes.

Now let’s take a look underground:

Spoiler: Upper Farming (click to show/hide)

Level -2 - The first farming level. A decent layer of sandy clay soil will keep us safe from cave-ins. I have a few strips for farming here. A planned water inlet was apparently put in, or maybe it was an exploratory tunnel? Zasit Hailwhip is pictured in here, standing in the vomit-flooded stairwell.

Spoiler: Lower Farming (click to show/hide)

Level -3 - The combination trash dump and a bigger farm. We dropped a few teeth in here, which are to this day unusable. We then built four farms at the 5x5 size to cope with crops. Only one plot is currently farmed, and it is filled with dimple cups. This season we may plant more pigtails so we can get more thread and dwarven ale. Note Rigòth Landwind, our messenger, grumbling as he ascends or descends the vomit-stained staircase.

Spoiler: The League of Legends (click to show/hide)

Level -4 - The League of Legends. Literally a tavern, food storage, still, and processing area. We’ll be taking the auxiliary still and mason’s shop out of there, which will make more space. We cannot expand south, because there’s an aquifer present above and it will cause major ass flooding.

Spoiler: Residential Level (click to show/hide)

Level -5 - The residential level. In the future, one of these rooms will become a well room, and some of the plumbing sketches are noted on the image. It has 17 bedrooms, but the lack of the well room raises that to 18. The halls have numerous pedestals for figurines, artworks, and other displays and each room entry has space for statues.

Spoiler: Hospital and Textile Industry (click to show/hide)

Level -6 - The East wing has a textile facility for dyeing, weaving, and clothes working. The west wing has the hospital with eight beds, and the chief medical dwarf’s quarters. The room intended as a hospital well is currently used for bar storage. Until more bedrooms become available, the entire facility serves to house our excess population.

Spoiler: CLASSIFIED (click to show/hide)

Level -7 - Storage Area 51. The southwest corner serves as food storage, while the southeast corner to serve as a stone dump and mason’s facility. Northeast corner is a finished goods storage site, and the northwest corner will be used for wood storage and carpentry. Asides from food storage and finished goods, the place is a huge junk pile.

Spoiler: Staging Area 6 (click to show/hide)

Level -8 - Staging Area 6. The west wing is The Barricaded Vault, our primary library. Housing is available for Fakerfangirl and one other dwarf in the near future. The east wing is for barracks and military use. It awaits major smoothing operations. The craftdwarves shop is where a well room will later be installed.

Spoiler: Staging Area 7, under construction (click to show/hide)

Level -9 - Staging Area 7. Literally, a pile of housing, maintenance and engineering rooms, and the passage from the tower to the rest of the fortress, which will be to the west. Eastern large rooms are for barracks, western large rooms are for temples. The place is under construction so you can see our two miners here.

Spoiler: The plans are somewhat there (click to show/hide)

Level -10 - MYSTERY AREA! This is the first layer of granite. Suffice it to say, military equipment will be stored here along with any creatures that end up in a cage. The floorplan is subject to change at any time.

There are three "flats", as the humans like to call them. These are proper flats, so you get an office, a dining room, and a bedroom to yourself. One of them will probably go to the Captain of the Guard. There are two holding rooms with four cells each and a stockpile for cages.

[CaptainArchmage]

Currently adding in the images. Here's an update from the beginning of autumn to late autumn, 251.

If people think the image sizes are too big, let me know. I'm using imgur's scaling facility. However, the next size down produces some... fuzzy pics and it becomes hard to read.

LATER THAT DAY
(scribbled in below) like the 1st Limestone 251

(OK, guys, it was like a week or more since I provided the last update, here's an early one).

So after having put together my report, I found out we can EASILY rejig the floor in the upper levels of the tower to make it safer. Some floors are being pulled out so we can put walls in and make the tower self contained.

Spoiler: Literally (click to show/hide)

Shit shit shit

Spoiler: Guess we aren't making any more (sc)rolls of toilet paper for a bit (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Not like there's going to be a state of emergency eh? (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: I mean, I can't think of anyone who would create one on that butt (click to show/hide)

AAAAAAAND shit. One of our traders, Aban Wheelmerged, just flipped the fuck out in the library and ran screaming to the craftsdwarf’s shop where all the paper is stored. She really NEEDS to get something but knows precisely where it is.

Spoiler: It could be worse (click to show/hide)

From: Led Clutchedcrypts, Chief Medical Dwarf
To: CaptainArchmage, Expedition Leader

SPIRITUAL POSSESSION MAY CAUSE LOSS OF BODY FACULTIES STOP MAY RESULT IN UNEXPECTED WILDCAT VOIDING OF BLADDER BOWELS AND STOMACH STOP THE POSSESSED SHOULD BE KEPT AWAY FROM FRAGILE AND ABSORBENT ITEMS STOP

RIP Paper Stockpile

According to Led Clutchedcrypts (the chief medical dwarf not the coffin), Aban got possessed by some kind of spirit or other. And that’s concerning because its coming from Led Clutchedcrypts. Hopefully nothing bad comes of this.

Spoiler: All the salt (click to show/hide)

Oh, she’s going for the rock salt. That’s good.

2nd Limestone

Spoiler: A petition (click to show/hide)

As things continue to unravel in the sanity department, I get a petition from a certain Dodók Lettersounded, who wishes to reside in this fortress for the purpose of entertaining citizens and visitors. I rubber-stamp his request, so he’ll be staying somewhere in the fortress. Not sure where yet.

Spoiler: Say hello to "Imic" (click to show/hide)

Meanwhile, down in the carved out bowels of Storage Area 6, our legendary crafting crew are finishing off the smoothing of these storage rooms. I bring your attention to Mosus Strappingattic, who will now be known as Mosus “Imic” Strappingattic or just Imic Strappingattic. He is approaching 80 years old, and his birthday is coming up in a little over a season on 14th Moonstone. A recap of his family situation is he is married to Sazir Rakesack the axedwarf and bard, but they do not have any children yet. He is the elder brother of Kûbuk Mazegate the brewer.

Spoiler: Imic's personal status (click to show/hide)

He says he wants to get more into mining. That’s fine and it won’t lose any opportunities, but sadly we don’t have any more mining gear. I suggested, however, that he take up the role of fort manager and he can then be like the mining guild head as well. So we’re cool with that. Incidentally, he doesn’t have any experience mining. As I covered before, he’s got quite a large number of religious needs and is getting a little distracted due to unfulfilled needs.

Spoiler: Imic and Sazir's new room (click to show/hide)

I put in a request for a new table and chair to cover his office, which will be next door to The Barricaded Vault. The (unused) bedroom placed there will now he his and Sazir’s, while their old bedroom will have the furniture transferred (and will be assigned to long term resident lodging).

3rd Limestone

Unfortunately, Aban is demanding a lot of bones. We’ll probably have to slaughter some animals or wait for the traders to arrive. We definitely have rough gems, but no bones. Not anymore at least. At least we can seal off the room if there's some 2X berserk baby missile c-c-c-c-c-c-Combo breaker...



Later that day: I put up the mule for slaughter. Ugh. I have a baaaaaaad feeling this is going to take a downwards turn.

Also FakerFangirl just made a masterpiece sheep wool bag. It’s worth quite a bit, and will probably end up storing seeds or dye or something.

4th Limestone

Spoiler: Fatality 9 (click to show/hide)

The mule was slaughtered, which makes #FATALITY 9. Quite anticlimactic. Unfortunately, it seems like two or three more animals must be slaughtered. We shall thus await the caravan.

10th Limestone



Fucking finally! The caravan is here. Given that it is 3 days before a full moon, I will merely assume that the caravan can deal with their own shitcurity.



After noticing the state of the Kol Escortrelic’s clothing as he works in the kitchen, I am going to have some replacements made for him.

12th Limestone

Spoiler: Trade Negotiations for Pitchblende One (click to show/hide)

Today, I met with Olum Oakwoman (Ecengenam). Again. He comes off as quite straight (as in, straightforward), but I still don't get his... alias. He's not like, transgendered or transexual or anything (his real name is attached to a male identity, after all). Working for the king and all, it stinks of an inside job.

(Later)



Ecengenam has nine letters. Nine is three times three. Dwarf Life Three confirmed. This means Olum is on his third identity. I wonder what his second one was?

13th Limestone



Chaos reigns as the Giant Keas attack again. I have expanded The Diamond Play again to add more marksdwarves and activated emergency lockdowns.

18th Limestone

All dwarves are inside now or should be. The exceptions are our marksdwarves and our broker, who will be making a trade with the caravan.

As to the trading, Rigòth was sleeping for the last few days…

The bone situation continues to worsen because the trade caravan has no animals on board and we aren't making progress on the giant keas. I will have to probably slaughter a few dogs or something to get the stacks of bone.

19th Limestone





22nd Limestone



Thank <insert deity here> puppies are a renewable resource!

We did a number on the Keas, and I’m expanding the acceptable emergency burrow so dwarves can transport all the food into the fortress even if they dropped it on the ground while panicking. We bought out the entire caravan.

24th Limestone



After expanding the emergency burrow Aban finally got the puppy bones she needed. Quickly gathering the other items, she set to work creating the artefact.



This is what’s going into it :-/.



During the commotion I forgot to check whether Staging Area 7 was mined out. I can confirm it has been mined out and ready for smoothing and furnishing.



èrith is now reading about lunar cycles while one of the scholar’s babies proceeds to vomit over the furniture opposite her. Also in this image, Imic has finished the smoothing job on his office with the rest of the crew (Sazir is sleeping in his bed). Installation of an armour stand and weapon rack is in order. It’s like an early birthday present for him as he turns 80 this year on the 14th of Moonstone.



Maybe I could carve him out a dining hall and a proper house too… ah screw it. I order four statues of Imic for his birthday along with another for Olon Oakwoman or whatever alias he is going under these days. They’re queued up after the slabs, which hopefully won’t be needed anytime soon.

1st Sandstone



Yesterday was insane, and it hasn’t stopped.



Firstly, the morning featured a fight between one of the speardwarves with the caravan and a Kea. He managed to fracture its skull. Not sure how it is still alive. They’re back and still terrorising the fortress, unfortunately. I might have to stop collecting the food and shit from the surface because it’s become too much of a risk.





As the sun went down on the surface, Aban - well, the being possessing her - finally finished her artefact. It is called Wanedcrews, a rock salt beer stein encircled with rock salt cabochons. I think the mule bone keeps the salt from being dissolved during use.



Aban has now completed her life goals at the age of 145.

Given it has foxtail millet plants in puppy bone, I think whatever was in possession of her body probably had some preference to that foxtail millets or the beer. We even have some handy now. I promptly disallow all other plants save for foxtail millets for brewing purposes.




Imic’s statues are nearing completion. One depicts his settlement in Claspedbowels, while the other two depict him crafting masterwork pedestals last winter.

2nd Sandstone



Chaos continues as Zasit Hailwhip runs out of ammunition and proceeds to bash one of the Keas with his crossbow. I order the other marksdwarves to join the fray. Hopefully I won’t need any sarcophagi and inscription jobs for this.

3rd Sandstone





While the Kea gets enraged, it is no longer a match for three marksdwarves. Asob gets the final blow in with his standard issue iron crossbow.

In other news, the distraction allowed the other puppy’s leather to be processed. I think we’ve got to move all these facilities underground now.



The last statue in the first Imic Quadrilogy was finished, depicting his withdrawal from society in Syrupbowel in 243, seven years ago. All four statues will go in his office. Four more have been ordered for his bedroom and two for the entry way.

4th Sandstone



WHAT A PERFECT TIME TO VISIT.

Actually the Keas are starting to leave the area. Good fucking riddance.

10th Sandstone

The Keas are now gone, and the one we managed to bash down has been processed into food. Ber Bronzedrill is finally handling its skin.

I’ve normalised the emergency burrow except for the areas we are recovering resources from. Soon everyone will be pulled inside for the full moon.

12th Sandstone

The full moon is finally over and the state of emergency has been lifted. Fortunately, we have had no casualties, save for lost time and general chaos.

Unfortunately, this proves that our position is far from secure, and we need to take better steps to secure our position in Claspedbowels.

I have all of Imic and Sazir Rakesack’s statues installed.

15th Sandstone



I just realised the merchants packed up and left. Also, I didn’t actually lift the state of emergency properly…

22nd Sandstone



Today, we were notified that a new Dwarven Hillocks has sprung up! Landssteel is about half a day’s travel to the Southeast.



As I get to the map mode, I realise I didn’t read the news again.

Spoiler: The News, in Glorious Super High Definition ASCII (click to show/hide)

Not too much news. A goblin army marched on Craftmurders again, and we had two artefacts known to be in Righteousroofs. Additionally, Kinwasps was known to be in claspedbowels… someone’s gotten an inside scoop on our fortress.



I have ordered all our foxtail millet plants to be brewed. Maybe we can now rebuild our drink supplies.

24th Sandstone

I just realised Sanctume became a legendary herbalist! I think I’m going to pull him off that job… you see, we need him to starting mechanisms, and train as a swordsdwarf to make him into a good militia commander. In fact, I have ordered all the obsidian from the caravan to be turned into swords, one of which he will be using.



Work will also be starting on MYSTERY AREA now. We may finally have access to granite, literally, even.

2nd Timber



Good news! Firstly, the very first obsidian sword was produced and it came out masterwork, around the evening of the 28th. A fitting weapon for Sanctume to wield. Rigòth also made a masterwork statue of Tecak, god of dance. Our two new temples in STAGING AREA 7 are about to go into operation.

3rd Timber



The Abbey of Thundering, dedicated to The Spear of Crazes, has just been established.

6th Timber



Another masterwork obsidian sword with a birchen handle. With the full moon coming upon us in two days, I’m sending up the alert.

7th Timber

Lock down is now in full effect.

In the meantime, the Laconic Abbey has been founded, devoted to Tecak, dwarven god of dance.