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Author Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3  (Read 21355 times)

Enemy post

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Minimalism and Milk 3
« on: April 16, 2019, 01:03:59 pm »



Spoiler: Longer backstory (click to show/hide)

You are the crew of the starship Moloko.

You ran out of milk.

You must acquire more.

Spoiler: Rules (click to show/hide)

Character template:
Name:
Description:
Rank (Optional):
Why do you want milk?

Spoiler: Player characters (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: NPCs (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Locations (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: The Moloko (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Hall of Milk (click to show/hide)

Turn list:1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,
« Last Edit: July 30, 2019, 10:48:28 am by Enemy post »
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My mods.
Minimalism and Milk:I,II,III.
Enemy post has claimed the title of Dragonsong the Harmonic of Melodious Exaltion!

CABL

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2019, 01:12:43 pm »

Name: GiantDad
Description: No further introduction needed...
Rank (Optional): Security Officer
Why do you want milk?: To restore my poise. For some reason, all this armor doesn't make me resilient enough to the blows.

Use food replicator to get me a milkshake.
If that fails, head to the cargo bay and find a caged space cow.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2019, 01:16:20 pm by CABL »
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Trinculoisdead

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2019, 01:19:26 pm »

Name: Captain Crunch
Description: The beloved captain of the crew
Rank (Optional): Captain
Why do you want milk? It's not for me! It's for the crew!

Scan for wild Space Cows.

ziizo

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2019, 01:34:31 pm »

Name: T'zzz
Description: Mass of Green tentacles
Rank (Optional): Janitor
Why do you want milk? Works great to clean the floor when mixed with other products.

Check the other crewmembers "secret" stashes of milk.
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

sprinkled chariot

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2019, 01:51:37 pm »

Name : Boris
Description : comrade scientist, science is good, DA?
Rank : scientist
Why do you want milk? : working class needs milk, comrade, its basic marxism

Genetically engineer new sort of potato, which would be filled with milk and glow in darkness with ominous green light

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Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2019, 01:58:13 pm »

WE’RE DOING IT AGAIN :))

Name: Delta
Description: All those wires in the walls of the ship, every camera and the screens they feed to, the voice over the intercom... that’s me.
Rank: I am the ship’s AI.
Why do you want milk?: The Syndicate designed a milk-powered bomb. Why, I don’t know. I want to make sure they can’t produce one to sabotage the ship.
I suppose it’s more accurate to say that I really don’t want milk.


Check our stock records for quantities of milk, shipments of milk, and usage of milk, and any inconsistencies therein, as well as suspicious acquirements.
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crazyabe

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2019, 02:28:31 pm »

Name: Bumpbo
Description: A Fat man wearing a Pink and Green Polka Dot Clown Suit
Rank (Optional): Clown
Why do you want milk? The Voices in my head told me I need it to cure the poison the rest of the crew has been feeding me.

Head to the Food Replicator- Request one Entire Adult Space Cow.
Logged

randomgenericusername

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2019, 02:33:05 pm »

Name: Nuhg-Htamuhs
Description: An alien goat abomination with seven heads, seven horns for each head.
Rank (Optional): Baa?
Why do you want milk? A milk sacrifice is required to open the cosmic gate sealing the seven ancient caprine deities: eldritch goat demons which, when freed, will proceed to consume the entire universe by slowly chewing on it like goats tend to do with their food.

Headbutt the closest thing with all of my 49 horns.
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Immortality like that would be even more game breaking than four Aaron's in one place.
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The_Two_Eternities

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #8 on: April 16, 2019, 03:05:31 pm »

Name: R15-B15
Description: A modular human-like robot.
Rank (Optional): Chief Engineer
Why do you want milk?: If I amass a critical amount of milk, I can use its magnetic properties to vastly simplify antimatter containment.

Access the controls for the food replicators and prevent any use of them until I figure out how much milk is necessary.
Logged
Code: [Select]
Dare I ask how you (inadvertently at that) created the psychic equivalent of a false vacuum event?
"I don't Know mysterious voice but I will"
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Smoke Mirrors

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #9 on: April 16, 2019, 03:06:04 pm »

Name: Joshua Dantès
Description: A classicaly handsome man with blond hair and grey eyes.
Rank: The crew’s charismatic and military trained, if somewhat tired of everyone’s antics, first mate.
Why do you want milk: To share it and keep the crew from going crazy in their pursuit of it.

”Why does this keep happening?”

Requisition extra milk from central command, again.

While Josh is getting tired of milk related shenanigans, I probably never will. Hooray! It’s back!
« Last Edit: April 16, 2019, 07:16:23 pm by Smoke Mirrors »
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FallacyofUrist

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #10 on: April 16, 2019, 10:58:28 pm »

Name: Fallas d'Florist
Description: A short frizzly-haired man in a lab coat, pockets full of syringes.
Rank: Head Bioscientist
Why do you want milk? For my experiments of course!

Acquire cow DNA from DNA reserve.
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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2019, 11:08:06 pm »

PTW will make character tomorrow
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Sig-texts!

Enemy post

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2019, 11:33:22 pm »

Turn 1:Boldly Go

Name: Captain Crunch
Description: The beloved captain of the crew
Rank (Optional): Captain
Why do you want milk? It's not for me! It's for the crew!

Scan for wild Space Cows.

3

As Captain of the Moloko, you immediate take your place in the command chair to try and resolve this issue. You're Cap'n Crunch after all, you can't have your crew unable to fully assemble their complete breakfasts. You give the orders to scan for space cows. The scanners detect the presence of a herd of space cows somewhere in this star system, but are unable to give a more precise location. Perhaps they are momentarily concealed by a dark matter concentration.


Name: R15-B15
Description: A modular human-like robot.
Rank (Optional): Chief Engineer
Why do you want milk?: If I amass a critical amount of milk, I can use its magnetic properties to vastly simplify antimatter containment.

Access the controls for the food replicators and prevent any use of them until I figure out how much milk is necessary.

4

You are R15-B15. Your advanced synthetic body makes you perfectly suited to your role as Chief Engineer. As the general notice goes out that the ship's milk supply is missing, you remotely access the food replicators and shut them down. Presumably, an organized solution would be best here.

Name: GiantDad
Description: No further introduction needed...
Rank (Optional): Security Officer
Why do you want milk?: To restore my poise. For some reason, all this armor doesn't make me resilient enough to the blows.

Use food replicator to get me a milkshake.
If that fails, head to the cargo bay and find a caged space cow.


2,5

You attempt to access the food replicators, but are unable to use the device. An error screen flashes a message;"ERROR:ACCESS DENIED BY ORDER OF CHIEF ENGINEER." Deciding not to wait for whatever B15 is planning, you roll down to the cargo bay and locate a space cow in a cage made of force fields. A space cow is shaped a bit like an Earth porpoise, with black and white patterns on its hide, a pair of rippling fins along its sides that it uses to fly, two horns where its eyes should be, and an udder.

Name: T'zzz
Description: Mass of Green tentacles
Rank (Optional): Janitor
Why do you want milk? Works great to clean the floor when mixed with other products.

Check the other crewmembers "secret" stashes of milk.

4

As the janitor, you're well aware of all the places the crew store items that they think are secret. You slither around from stash to stash, but it seems that the ship is indeed out of milk.

Name : Boris
Description : comrade scientist, science is good, DA?
Rank : scientist
Why do you want milk? : working class needs milk, comrade, its basic marxism

Genetically engineer new sort of potato, which would be filled with milk and glow in darkness with ominous green light

4

You head to one of the many science labs and begin programming a new genetic creation. A few minutes later, the modified genome is compiled and a replicator* produces a handful of seeds for you. It will still need to be grown to produce milk and light.

*Thankfully, this was one of the science replicators. The food replicators have been deactivated by order of the Chief Engineer.

WE’RE DOING IT AGAIN :))

Name: Delta
Description: All those wires in the walls of the ship, every camera and the screens they feed to, the voice over the intercom... that’s me.
Rank: I am the ship’s AI.
Why do you want milk?: The Syndicate designed a milk-powered bomb. Why, I don’t know. I want to make sure they can’t produce one to sabotage the ship.
I suppose it’s more accurate to say that I really don’t want milk.


Check our stock records for quantities of milk, shipments of milk, and usage of milk, and any inconsistencies therein, as well as suspicious acquirements.

2

As the ship's AI, you have access to all the computers and records aboard ship. You search the stock records, but can't find anything particularly noteworthy. The numerous milk-related requests that the crew are spamming into the replicators and computers is creating a great deal of white noise. One of your subroutines pops up to inform you that Bumpo the Clown attempted to create an entire adult space cow using a standard replicator shortly after the Chief Engineer shut down the replicators.

Name: Bumpbo
Description: A Fat man wearing a Pink and Green Polka Dot Clown Suit
Rank (Optional): Clown
Why do you want milk? The Voices in my head told me I need it to cure the poison the rest of the crew has been feeding me.

Head to the Food Replicator- Request one Entire Adult Space Cow.

I like the idea that in the future "Clown" is explicitly a rank that someone on a ship might have.

1

You're Bumpo the Clown. As you know, everyone else on the ship is trying to feed you poison in the name of the ancient lizard government. The only cure is milk, but of course getting it won't be easy in this place. You try to put in a perfectly reasonable request to one of the replicators, but an error message pops up. "ERROR:R15-B15 WON'T LET YOU HAVE MILK."

Name: Joshua Dantès
Description: A classicaly handsome man with blond hair and grey eyes.
Rank: The crew’s charismatic and military trained, if somewhat tired of everyone’s antics, first mate.
Why do you want milk: To share it and keep the crew from going crazy in their pursuit of it.

”Why does this keep happening?”

Requisition extra milk from central command, again.

While Josh is getting tired of milk related shenanigans, I probably never will. Hooray! It’s back!

6

You contact Earth using a quantum entanglement communicator. You reach a bored-looking bureaucrat who asks you to explain the nature of your call. You explain the sudden loss of milk, and the bureaucrat redirects you to a nearly identical worker elsewhere in the galaxy. Several steps later, you're pretty sure you're no closer to actually getting any milk.

Name: Fallas d'Florist
Description: A short frizzly-haired man in a lab coat, pockets full of syringes.
Rank: Head Bioscientist
Why do you want milk? For my experiments of course!

Acquire cow DNA from DNA reserve.

3

You are Fallas d'Florist, Head Bioscientist. You enter one of the labs and walk past Boris, who appears to be experimenting on some kind of potato. You reach the cold storage shelves and retrieve a vial of cow DNA. Before you can insert it into one of the flash cloning cylinders, an alien goat abomination with seven heads appears out of thin air, runs toward you, and trips over its own feet. One of the goat's 49 horns knocks the DNA vial from your hand as it falls.

Name: Nuhg-Htamuhs
Description: An alien goat abomination with seven heads, seven horns for each head.
Rank (Optional): Baa?
Why do you want milk? A milk sacrifice is required to open the cosmic gate sealing the seven ancient caprine deities: eldritch goat demons which, when freed, will proceed to consume the entire universe by slowly chewing on it like goats tend to do with their food.

Headbutt the closest thing with all of my 49 horns.
(Randomly selected target:Fallas d'Florist)
2

You are Nuhg-Htamus, the goat abomination. You will acquire some milk, and so free the eldritch demons who shall lead you to the gnawing death of the universe.

Also, for some reason you're going to headbutt people. You start by appearing in a laboratory on the Moloko and charging the nearest nerd. Having 14 eyes makes it a bit difficult to judge the distance however, causing you to trip. As you fall, you feel one of your horns knock something out of your target's hand.


OOC:

WE’RE DOING IT AGAIN :))
While Josh is getting tired of milk related shenanigans, I probably never will. Hooray! It’s back!

Thanks for the comments, it really makes me happy to know that people enjoy my weird stories about milk.
Logged
My mods.
Minimalism and Milk:I,II,III.
Enemy post has claimed the title of Dragonsong the Harmonic of Melodious Exaltion!

The_Two_Eternities

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #13 on: April 16, 2019, 11:40:50 pm »

Yeah, Minimalism & Milk is awesome.

Head to a laboratory and use the science replicators to help me figure out just how much milk I need for the amount of antimatter this ship is storing.

"I like the idea that in the future "Clown" is explicitly a rank that someone on a ship might have."
Me too.
Logged
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Dare I ask how you (inadvertently at that) created the psychic equivalent of a false vacuum event?
"I don't Know mysterious voice but I will"
Professor Oak will try to replicate the Physic false vacuum event.

King Zultan

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Where no man has gone before
« Reply #14 on: April 17, 2019, 12:00:00 am »

Name: Dr. Bob
Description: A man with the head of a deer that's wearing a lab coat.
Rank (Optional): Genetic Engineer
Why do you want milk? Everyone else wants it, so that means I also want it.

Search the cargo hold for any animals.
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Can I have the sword when you’re done?
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