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Author Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 47-The Snap/These were the voyages...  (Read 15560 times)

King Zultan

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #30 on: April 18, 2019, 03:19:14 am »

Go find a weapon like a shovel or a crowbar, then hit the space cow with it until I can get some DNA out of it.
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Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

CABL

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #31 on: April 18, 2019, 05:26:51 am »

Now that everything's right in the world on the ship, go and search for that space cow in the cargo bay.
Once I find it, try to grapple it by the udder/teats and milk it.
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

A Viking's Tale - Come and plunder!

Now that our benevolent government has passed the "Internet isolation law", I'd ask you to not worry if I disappear for a month: This probably means that the Runet got separated from the Worldwide Web.

ziizo

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #32 on: April 18, 2019, 06:15:50 am »

Retreat and start cleaning the cargo hold. Someone broke the space-cow cage and we don't want people hurting themselves with the parts.
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Fluffe9911

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #33 on: April 18, 2019, 06:27:44 am »

*sigh*

Silence: heads to cargo bay
Silence: starts scavenging around
« Last Edit: April 18, 2019, 06:29:17 am by Fluffe9911 »
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randomgenericusername

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #34 on: April 18, 2019, 09:13:38 am »

Adapt to gain resistance to the nanovirus. While waiting to heal, evolve glands to be able to release the nanovirus at will.
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The dog behind the man behind the beard.
Immortality like that would be even more game breaking than four Aaron's in one place.
You're both so obviously scum that this is a surprisingly difficult decision.

Gwolfski

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    • ignore pls!
Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #35 on: April 18, 2019, 10:12:51 am »

Name: Duncan G. Redford
Description: Dapper Gentleman
Rank: Doctor (of the arts)
Why do you want milk?: For my cup of tea, of course!

Head down to the cafeteria to berate lecture the kitchen staff on their idiocy incompetence for causing this major disaster minor inconvenience

edit: formatting, too used to markdown
« Last Edit: April 18, 2019, 11:34:07 am by Gwolfski »
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why kill elves if you could torture them, make them betray their friends, denounce their "force", make them watch trees being chopped down, feed them meat and throw them in magma as a sacrifice for almighty Armok?

Eventually when you go far enough the insane start becoming the sane

Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #36 on: April 18, 2019, 11:26:05 am »

Name: Duncan G. Redford
Description: Dapper Gentleman
Rank: Doctor (of the arts)
Why do you want milk?: For my cup of tea, of course!

Head down to the cafeteria to ~~berate~~ lecture the kitchen staff on their ~~idiocy~~ incompetence for causing this ~~major disaster~~ minor inconvenience
You’re using Discord notation. You want this (s)this(/s) but with [] instead of ().
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Is your role just to +1 whatever Glass says.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

The_Two_Eternities

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #37 on: April 18, 2019, 12:51:37 pm »

Clearly, the problem here is that the milk we have isn't pure enough. It is not enough like the ideal of milk.

Invent some sort of Platonic Milk.
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Code: [Select]
Dare I ask how you (inadvertently at that) created the psychic equivalent of a false vacuum event?
"I don't Know mysterious voice but I will"
Professor Oak will try to replicate the Physic false vacuum event.

FallacyofUrist

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #38 on: April 18, 2019, 12:52:05 pm »

"My cow DNA! CURSE YOU! Wait, I should still have goat DNA."

Acquire a vial of goat DNA from storage!
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I'm giving out free hypnosis sessions on Discord. DM for details! I'm always looking for talented and/or bizarre subjects! You'll never know how talented you are until you try!

On another note, Standoff is a game I'm running. Ever want to kill someone with your very own Stand? You've come to the right place.

Trinculoisdead

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #39 on: April 18, 2019, 06:25:46 pm »

Name: Captain Crunch
Description: The beloved captain of the crew
Rank (Optional): Captain
Why do you want milk? It's not for me! It's for the crew!

Promote Fallas d'Florist to Chief Head Bioscientist for his quick-thinking and bravery in the face of eldritch goats. And then order the navigator to correct the erratic movement of the ship. What are those yahoos doing up there? Churning butter?

KitRougard

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #40 on: April 18, 2019, 07:29:59 pm »

Name: Jerald Xynofyllius
Description: The slightly sketchy, definetly kinky librarian-weeb-nerd guy.
Rank (Optional): Syndicate-Hired Curator (Librarian)
Why do you want milk?
A: Syndicate told me to get it.
B: Xenomorphs THRIVE on it.
C: my bones are weak i need calcium

Research in the mighty archives of the ship where on here I might find milk, besides the defunct food replicators.
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Scream all you want
They don't understand
Your Comic Sans font
A language of another land

Smoke Mirrors

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 2
« Reply #41 on: April 18, 2019, 09:42:26 pm »

As I said, get us to somewhere we can restock on milk.
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Don't worry too much about the one mistake, Smoke Mirrors. Your character was memorable for all the demonology and story writing.

I’m running a game called Pandemonium. Feel free to check it out.

Enemy post

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 3-Rise of the Roombas
« Reply #42 on: April 19, 2019, 12:45:52 am »

Turn 3

Yeaaaaah, shut down the roombas and remove the janitor in question's robotics perms. Furthermore, send a securitybot to go locate and retrieve the loose cattle in the cargo hold.
Finally, send maintbots around to fix recent damage.


1, 4, 4

You attempt to send a lockout command to the bots, but they redirect it back at you and quickly take full control of the ship. Before their control is consolidated, you get your orders through to send a security bot to recover the cow and deploy the repair drones.

Plant damn seeds then go to the weapon testing lab and acquire anything decent enough to disintegrate trespassing goat asshole next time I see him

6, 4

You toss the seeds into a hydroponic tray and go looking for a weapon. You quickly find a conveniently located weapon closet and take a laser pistol.

I Interpretative Danceflip in the food replicators Direction in one final attempt to get my space Cow out of it.

You decide to make one last effort to get your space cow. In such a situation, nothing could work better than a perfectly executed Interpretative Danceflip. Everything has to go right if you're ever going to get the milk you need. You gather yourself up, take a deep breath, and then you Danceflip.

5

It is a perfect 1080 spin that expresses your urgent need in an original but unmistakable twist on the visual language of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. The machine's cruel ERROR message flickers and fades to a single emoticon: :'-(

Touched by your Interpretative Danceflip, the replicator breaks through its programming and recommended safety protocols to clone you a space cow. The machine rattles and smokes and churns out genetic material. Finally, the machine breaks down, but not before producing a perfect space cow. The cow begins floating around the hallway in confusion.

Go find a weapon like a shovel or a crowbar, then hit the space cow with it until I can get some DNA out of it.
5, 1 for finding the space cow.

You grab a hammer that has been psionically charged by an adept in the art of cow hunting. You feel like you will get around a "+2" bonus if you use it against a space cow. The only problem is finding the cow in question. You explore the cargo area, but can't find any traces of the cow. GiantDad and a securitybot enter the chamber and begin searching the other side of the room.

Now that everything's right in the world on the ship, go and search for that space cow in the cargo bay.
Once I find it, try to grapple it by the udder/teats and milk it.

3
Quote from: Securitybot
Find the cow
2

You begin searching around the cargo bay for the cow. A securitybot joins you, but doesn't contribute much after it gets distracted halfway through to chant about "The Dust, the glorious Dust!". You don't find the cow itself, but a glowing message on the floor claims it is hiding behind a certain crate.

Retreat and start cleaning the cargo hold. Someone broke the space-cow cage and we don't want people hurting themselves with the parts.

3

You leave your roombas to continue hacking the ship and blob down to the cargo bay to clean up the ruins of the cow cage. You succeed, but you hurt yourself on the parts. A mime runs by, pursued by a vacuum vermin.

*sigh*

Silence: heads to cargo bay
Silence: starts scavenging around


1

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Adapt to gain resistance to the nanovirus. While waiting to heal, evolve glands to be able to release the nanovirus at will.

2, 6

As you float around in the void, you attempt to rapidly evolve to deal with the nanovirus. It still hurts you, but you gain the ability to release it at random. You can't control it yet, but at least you're spreading disease.

Name: Duncan G. Redford
Description: Dapper Gentleman
Rank: Doctor (of the arts)
Why do you want milk?: For my cup of tea, of course!

Head down to the cafeteria to berate lecture the kitchen staff on their idiocy incompetence for causing this major disaster minor inconvenience

edit: formatting, too used to markdown

3

You are Duncan G. Redford, Dapper Gentleman. Bothered by the lack of milk for tea, you head down to the kitchen and give the kitchen staff a firm talking-to. However, as robots, they don't seem particularly affected. One asks you what you if you believe in the Great Cleaning.

Clearly, the problem here is that the milk we have isn't pure enough. It is not enough like the ideal of milk.

Invent some sort of Platonic Milk.
Platonic ideals are a cool concept.
3

You use a simple temporal destabilization field to make a temporary window to the realm of consciousness and study the Platonic ideal of milk. You think you've got an idea on how to make it, but you'll need a small sample of normal milk first. Your antivirus protocols notice and block an attempt to force you to drop everything and worship the concept of removing dirt and grime.

"My cow DNA! CURSE YOU! Wait, I should still have goat DNA."

Acquire a vial of goat DNA from storage!

2

Unfortunately, you don't have any goat DNA. Goat DNA has become very rare ever since they went extinct during the War. Your rank insignia beeps and shifts to acknowledge the Captain promoting you to Chief Head Bioscientist.

Name: Captain Crunch
Description: The beloved captain of the crew
Rank (Optional): Captain
Why do you want milk? It's not for me! It's for the crew!

Promote Fallas d'Florist to Chief Head Bioscientist for his quick-thinking and bravery in the face of eldritch goats. And then order the navigator to correct the erratic movement of the ship. What are those yahoos doing up there? Churning butter?

1

You promote Fallas D'Florist and try ordering the navigator to correct the ship. The ship does stabilize, but there's an odd whirring noise behind the voice of what claims to be the navigator and noticeable delays between replies.

Name: Jerald Xynofyllius
Description: The slightly sketchy, definetly kinky librarian-weeb-nerd guy.
Rank (Optional): Syndicate-Hired Curator (Librarian)
Why do you want milk?
A: Syndicate told me to get it.
B: Xenomorphs THRIVE on it.
C: my bones are weak i need calcium

Research in the mighty archives of the ship where on here I might find milk, besides the defunct food replicators.

6

You call up a viewscreen and check the archives. You start to view an article explaining that wild space cows can be found in most regions of empty space before the screen abruptly shifts to religious propaganda promoting something called the Great Cleaning.

As I said, get us to somewhere we can restock on milk.

3-1 due to the Roomba hacking.

You try and take the ship to the Bazaar, but the slightly distorted voice of the Captain comes through the intercom and demands that the ship move to the nearest nebula and begin the Great Cleaning. Almost before "he" finishes speaking, the warp engines propel the ship toward the Horsehead Nebula and the laser batteries begin charging up.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2019, 12:54:25 am by Enemy post »
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My mods.
Minimalism and Milk:I,II,III.
Enemy post has claimed the title of Dragonsong the Harmonic of Melodious Exaltion!

sprinkled chariot

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 3-Rise of the Roombas
« Reply #43 on: April 19, 2019, 01:00:08 am »

Use console of experimental weapons lab to aim totally safe untested warp rift cannon located  in external part of lab and FIRE IT INTO THE THING, WHICH BROKE SCIENCE FABRICATOR, DAMN YOU GOAT

Then go and try to fix damn fabricator
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Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 3-Rise of the Roombas
« Reply #44 on: April 19, 2019, 01:01:27 am »

Oh for fuck's sake.

Someone shut down the fucking roombas, somebody's using them to hack the vessel and my systems.

Attempt to regain control of the ship, or at the very least prevent the roombas from having control over it.
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Is your role just to +1 whatever Glass says.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.
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